California is super-liberal and they want to keep it that way. The state has what’s known as “jungle primaries” in which the top two vote getters make the ballot, regardless of party affliction. In the Golden State this is the liberal way of rigging the election so no matter what a democrat wins. Because of this, I was given the choice between an anti-gun lunatic and an anti-gun lunatic in today’s election. Freedom of choice, y’all!
Tuesday is the midterm election and people across the country are picking those who will represent them in the state house and Congress. Here in California the state told me who my representatives will be. For US Senator I only had 2 choices: democrat incumbent Dianne Feinstein and democrat imbecile Kevin de León. For Lt. Governor I got pick between democrat rodent Eleni Kounalakis and democrat doofus Ed Hernandez. For the record, I went with Feinstein and Hernandez for reasons I’ll explain in a second.
You’re portably thinking why I didn’t just leave it blank and vote for none of these fools. I have a theory that if you leave anything blank on the ballot the entire thing is voided and I actually care that my vote for some of the state measures gets recorded. My friend, who is an assistant DA, assured me that you can leave things blank on the ballot and it will still get counted, but I don’t trust the system and don’t want to risk it. Besides, it doesn’t really matter if I vote for one democrat over another. It won’t change the fact that I have zero representation as a conservative Californian.
I also thought about requesting a write-in ballot and putting down “Nunna Deeznuts,” because I like his tea-bagging platform, but California can barely process a normal ballot let alone a special one. Again, I really want my vote to repeal the massive gas tax to count. Plus, I want to get rid of daylight savings time.
So why did I vote for Feinstein? I’m glad you asked. After carefully weighing my options I selfishly decided I could get funnier articles out of 6 more years of Feinstein. She is so full of shit, corrupt, and goofy that I figured she’s going to generate better headlines.
Don’t get me wrong, Kevin de León is pretty hilarious too. He once said this about AR-15s:
“This is a ghost gun. This right here has the ability with a 30-caliber clip to disperse with 30 bullets within half a second. 30 magazine clip within half a second,” said de León.
While it was tempting to help put a guy this stupid into office, I ultimately decided I want the democrats to remain the hypocritical party of old white people. De León is too young and ethnic to be a good fit with those racist democrats anyways.
As for my choice to vote for Ed Hernandez, her opponent Eleni Kounalakis was an Obama stooge and she looks like a rat. Hernandez wins by default.
The upside to today’s election was that I did get to vote for some Republicans who won’t win in this liberal wasteland. I went with John Cox for Governor and I got to cast a vote against Adam “Shifty” Schiff, which was surprisingly satisfying. I’m sure Schiff Fer Brains will still win, but at least I didn’t contribute to that crime against human intelligence.
If California insists on giving voters no real choice at the ballot box, they should at least provide a “none of the above” box to check. That would actually be pretty funny because there is literally no enthusiasm in this state for any candidates. “None of the above” would win every election by a landslide and come closer to actually representing me than the current crop of leftist kooks are doing.
