Everyday you wake up in the United States, thank our founding Fathers for kicking King George’s ass and establishing a country with freedom and liberty for all. England is a country where the subjects don’t have gun rights and cops stop and frisk them looking for sharpened potato peelers. Britain is a place where dogs are investigated for hate crimes. The UK is also a place where people might not be allowed to used meat-based phrases like “bring home the bacon” because it may offend vegans.
The Independent reports that “Phases like ‘bringing home the bacon’ could be banned to avoid offending vegans.”
You may think phrases like “bringing home the bacon” and “putting all your eggs in one basket” are harmless quirks of the English language, but they could be offending vegans and vegetarians, with one academic claiming they might end up being avoided altogether as a result.
As research shows more people are removing animal products from their diets than ever before, Shareena Hamzah of Swansea University says idioms involving animal products could be rendered obsolete because they are out of touch with the zeitgeist.
It’s not just possibly pissing off vegans that is raising the alarm, man-made global warming cultists may also take offense.
“In today’s reality, meat is repeatedly the subject of much socially and politically charged discussion, including about how the demand for meat is contributing to climate change and environmental degradation,” said Hamzah.
Meat is repeatedly the subject of politically charged arguments? Who knew?
In the funniest thing you’ll read all week, this academic ninny is proposing some alternate phrases to appease people who eat a bunny rabbit diet:
Hamzah highlights the violent imagery proposed by popular idioms such as “flogging a dead horse” and “killing two birds with one stone” and suggests we may move to kinder alternatives such as “feeding a fed horse” or “feeding two birds with one scone”.
Whipping a dead animal is not cruelty as, duh, the animal is already dead. Overfeeding a horse however is not a very humane or ethical thing to do, which is another way of saying it’s cruel. Also, scones are not part of a bird’s natural diet and could contain ingredients that are toxic to them, so that’s pretty cruel too.
This nutter also gives us alternatives for “bringing home the bacon” or “putting all of your eggs in one basket” with “bringing home the bagels” and “putting all of your berries in a bowl.” These of course don’t work at all because they completely change the meaning of the original phrase.
“Bringing home the bacon” means earning money and providing for your family because bacon is something of value while “bringing home the bagel” sounds like failure. Bagels are not something people get excited for and they don’t represent something special.
As for the berries in the bowl? Not even close. Putting all of your eggs in one basket means overcommitting to something that could fail. If you split your eggs up in to different baskets, should one of those baskets meet catastrophe, you still have the other eggs to rely on. Putting all of your berries in one bowl means nothing because a berry is worthless and doesn’t represent security and investment like an egg does.
This couldn’t be a dumb conversation about animals without the People for the Ethical treatment of Animals weighing in:
“While these phrases may seem harmless, they carry meaning and can send mixed signals to students about the relationship between humans and animals and can normalize abuse. Teaching students to use animal-friendly language can cultivate positive relationships between all beings and help end the epidemic of youth violence toward animals,” said PETA.
In addition to making vegans happy and stopping global warming, these crazy people say banning meat-based phrases can also put an end to youth violence. These are not serious people.
Once again, let’s thank those brave patriots who fought and died to found America, because this is the kind of thought control that goes on under British rule. Don’t get too complacent though, because the Democratic Party would love nothing more than to bring European-style socialism and speech oppression to the United States.
