Desperate to get one more article up before I call it a day, I Googled “Waffle House.” Of course I wasn’t disappointed. Seriously, there’s a few things you can almost always search for and get outrageous news results. To the old standby, “Florida Man,” we can now add, “transgender” and “Waffle House.” I’ve had great luck with both of those as of late. But here’s the latest Waffle House atrocity for you:
Baby found alone outside Waffle House in Mobile; mother arrested
MOBILE, Ala. — An infant child was found alone near a local restaurant early Friday morning, and his mother was subsequently found at a different location, naked and apparently under the influence, police said.
Mobile police and fire department officials were on the scene early Friday morning at a local Waffle House where the baby was found alone near the restaurant.
This was on Government Street in The Loop area. The young child was found about 3:30 a.m., according to authorities.
Mobile Fire-Rescue Department spokesman Steven Millhouse told FOX10 News that a man found the baby outside the Waffle House. The man took the baby inside and called 911, Millhouse said.
The Mobile Police Department is investigating.
MPD Public Information Officer LaDerrick DuBose said the child is a 7-month-old infant boy who was found near the roadway by a man walking in the area.
The young child was placed into the custody of the Department of Human Resources, DuBose said.
“Through the course of the investigation, the mother of child was located in the 500 block of Dauphin Island Parkway naked and appeared to be under the influence of an unknown substance,” DuBose said in an email to news media. “DHR was contacted and the child was transported to the hospital to be checked out.”
Myeisha Walker, 23, was arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, DuBose said.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. Don’t forget that Waffle House is currently taking reservations for your Valentine’s Day dinner. Yes, it’s true! “Hundreds of Waffle Houses across the country are now taking reservations for a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner complete with white tablecloths, candlelight and a special menu.”
What could possibly be more elegant and romantic than dinner at Waffle House? I mean that’s like a Three Michelin Star dining experience sure to impress even the most discerning of Valentines. And although it’s not mentioned, chances are you’ll get a free show along with your fine dining experience. It might be a man falling through the ceiling, an armed robbery attempt, unruly teens being arrested by police, a customer being decorated like a cheeseburger, an employees brawling (perhaps with knives), or even a mass shooting! All of these things have occurred at Waffle Houses across the country in the last couple years. Who knows what you’ll get to see? Hey if you’re looking to adopt, you might even find an abandoned infant like this one!
But if you’re really lucky maybe the lovely Myeisha might be out on bail that night, wander in naked and treat you and your special Valentine to a crack-induced lap dance! THAT is the epitome of class! Viva la romance! Viva Waffle House!
My wife will be SO disappointed to learn that we don’t have one here.
