It wasn’t all that WTF? that democrats found it impossible to condemn hatred in their own ranks this week but they did manage to WTF? it up by blaming their bigotry and racism on the Republicans. Here’s some other logic defying WTF? from around the globe:
Headline of the Week
Racism not addressed by Dolphin attacks
But addressing the racism of orca attacks is black and white. And speaking of hateful mammals:
Ass Whoopin’ of the Week
Successful paragliding landing ✓
Attacked by kangaroo ✓pic.twitter.com/UDtWOuUBAz
— SI Extra Mustard (@SI_ExtraMustard) March 9, 2019
Everything is awesome in Australia
Democrat of the Week
Alabama teacher sent home after using n-word during day for racial dialogue
Hoover school Superintendent Kathy Murphy confirmed on Wednesday that school officials are investigating an alleged incident of a white teacher using the n-word on Tuesday when talking with African American students at Spain Park High School.
Tuesday was supposed to be a day of dialogue at Spain Park High. The school was dealing with the fallout of a video that surfaced last weekend showing Spain Park and Hoover High school students using hate speech, including anti-Semitic and racial slurs.
“F— n——‘s, f— Jews,” one boy says. “Jews are fine because they’re white,” a girl says in the video, posted on multiple social media platforms. “We just need the n—-‘s gone.” Other derogatory remarks about African Americans and Jewish people are heard throughout the 1-minute video.
Alabama school punishes teacher for hate speech but Nancy Pelosi can’t bring herself to condemn Ilhan Omar for same.
Irony of the Week
Man shoots himself in leg while holstering gun in Jackson IHOP parking lot
A Jackson man on his way to breakfast with friends Thursday morning went to the hospital instead after unintentionally shooting himself in the IHOP parking lot, police say.
The 30-year-old man was with his girlfriend and a friend parking in the IHOP parking lot on their way to eat at the restaurant when he got out of the car, went to holster his handgun and it went off, striking him in his left thigh…
“I shot myself in the leg and now I hop.”
Former Dick of the Week
Billionaire diamond trader, 65, dies during penis enlargement surgery at private Paris clinic
A billionaire diamond trader has died after ‘suffering a heart attack’ during a penis enlargement operation in Paris.
Ehud Arye Laniado, 65, was at an unidentified private clinic on the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in the French capital on Saturday when complications during surgery proved fatal.
The experienced diamond expert’s heart attack happened when a substance was injected into his penis, Belgian media reported.
Size only matters when you’re not a billionaire.
Dick of the Week
The red-faced patient went to hospital after getting the iron ring stuck in a bizarre solo sex game.
Doctors faced a stiff task removing the hinged device, which was stuck fast and cutting off the blood supply.
So they called in fire crews to help in Jinan, China, on Saturday.
There’s pics and a video that I couldn’t bring myself to imbed. Also, there is no such thing as a “solo sex game” that’s called being a loner weirdo.
Balls of the Week
Malmö woman charged for Ikea ‘cream ball attack’
A woman has been charged in Malmö for squishing a packet of Swedish ‘gräddbullar’ chocolate cream balls onto the face of a stranger at the local branch of Ikea.
The woman, 25, was charged on Tuesday for “harassment”, with her victim, a 34-year man demanding 7,000 kronor for the upset caused, and 500 kronor more for the cost of dry-cleaning his leather jacket.
Vikings has really gone down hill since they killed off Ragnar.
Vag of the Week
To close ‘orgasm gap,’ the National Film Board launches game to teach people about the clitoris
Pretty well everyone knows what a penis looks like, whether in the flesh, in the form of sex toys or from depictions scrawled on the walls of public washrooms. But a woman’s clitoris? Not so much.
Enter the National Film Board of Canada, which on Monday launched an interactive game for mobile devices that takes a playful, informative approach to female sexual satisfaction and the role of the clitoris.
It’s a shame they don’t have this game in the UK…
The Other Vag of the Week
Half of Brits don’t have a CLUE where the vagina is… and it’s not just men!
Just in time for International Women’s Day, a YouGov survey has found that 45 per cent of us can’t label a vagina correctly on a diagram and don’t know its function.
Unsurprisingly, six in ten men don’t know the various bits of a vagina and only 69 per cent could label the clitoris (which may explain a few things!).
Researchers presented 2,010 British adults with a diagram of female genitalia and asked them to identify the various parts and functions.
Half of women couldn’t say where the vagina was, 55 per cent said they didn’t know what the urethra was and around half of both men and women failed to correctly label the labia.
And they don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground either.
Butthead of the Week
Indiana boy, 11, who allegedly shot trooper dad in buttocks wanted to aim for head, cops say
The Indiana boy accused of shooting his state trooper dad in the buttocks over a video game last month allegedly told authorities that he would have shot him in the head if he was at a different angle, reports said.
The boy allegedly shot his father, Officer Matt Makowski, on Feb. 21 with Makowski’s .45-caliber handgun. He allegedly retrieved the weapon from his father’s locked vehicle parked outside their home in Granger.
He told police after the shooting that he wanted a Play Station, an Xbox and a computer, and that he was “going to get these simple things, or there would be a part 2,” court documents said, according to the paper.
You’d think shooting dad in the butt would be the #2 plan.
Butthole of the Week
Animal with an anus that comes and goes could reveal how ours evolved
A jellyfish-like creature has a neat trick that makes it unique among animals: its anus forms only when it needs to defecate, then disappears without a trace.
“That is the really spectacular finding here,” says Sidney Tamm of the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, who made the discovery. “There is no documentation of a transient anus in any other animals that I know of.”
“Transient anus” is my new favorite thing.
Progress of the Week
Fornication will no longer be illegal in Utah
The Utah State Legislature is making sex outside of marriage legal.
In a bill cleaning up Utah’s criminal code, lawmakers repealed the misdemeanor crime of fornication.
That great, but it’s still illegal to fornicate your family members in Utah…
Kissing Cousins of the Week
First cousins who crossed state lines to get married want laws changed
A pair of first cousins from Utah traveled to Colorado on Monday to get legally married and are now petitioning their home state to change its law restricting marriage between cousins, reports said.
Angie Lee’s father and Michael Lee’s mother are siblings, but that familial bond has not stopped the first cousins from deciding to be together, reports said.
“We said OK this is crazy but we’re adults now, we’re single now, we’re just going to go for it and who cares what our family thinks,” Angie [said].
Incest is best, put your cousin to the test. Hopefully the flipper babies these two make won’t turn out racist like those dolphins.
Battle of the Sexes Scorecard:
Missouri woman was acting out movie when she killed boyfriend, police say
Cocoa woman shoots boyfriend for snoring loudly
Wife Wouldn’t Let Man Drive Drunk, So He Killed Her
Pregnant woman stabs boyfriend after he looks at a photo of another woman
Chicks win this week.
Whiz Kid of the Week
A man has revealed he feels better than ever after he started drinking more than a pint of his own urine every morning – and claims it tastes like bitter ale.
Fabian Farquharson, 37, from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, first started the bizarre practise three years ago after reading about the purported health benefits online.
The interior designer starts every day with a pint of fresh urine, chased down with 300-400ml of aged pee, and claims the unusual thirst quencher has left him feeling healthier, happier and smarter.
And those Brits say American beer tastes like piss.
Yellow Snow of the Week
Meet the people whose job it is make sure the Iditarod is fair: the ‘pee catchers’
Amid the hundreds of barking and yipping sled dogs that lined the streets of downtown Anchorage Saturday morning, a small army of volunteer veterinarians was busy at work, bouncing from mushing trailer to mushing trailer, verifying the dogs’ microchips and tending to any dog fights and last-minute medical needs.
Some of them had a more specific job: collecting dog urine.
These volunteers, whom veterinary technician Joelle Riley affectionately called the “pee catchers,” are tasked with enforcing the Iditarod’s rigorous drug testing standards.
Why do we keep having to meet people who like pee pee?
WTF? of the Week
Couple in their 70s make a porn film to prove sex DOESN’T get worse with age
Uh, yeah it does get worse. Much much worse.
