Instant Eunuch! Man Shoots Self In His Private Parts With a Hi-Point

We all know that guns don’t simply fire of their own volition. But maybe some do. OK, I know they still don’t, but this guy had his junk jangled by a Hi-Point, which is also junk. I hate those guns with a passion. So i had to poke at them. And I will do so again below.

Via The Smoking Gun

Gun Charge For Dope Who Shot Self Below Belt

MARCH 18–The Indiana man who accidentally shot himself in the penis and scrotum has been charged with carrying a handgun without a license, according to court records.

Mark Anthony Jones, 46, is facing a Class-A misdemeanor weapons charge in connection with the February 28 incident in Marion. A decision to charge Jones (seen at right) was made this month by the Grant County Prosecutor’s Office after police forwarded the case for review.

I bet Mark isn’t looking so content now. You know, having no nuts and all.

Jones, who lives in Marion, is the subject of an active arrest warrant filed in Marion City Court.

According to police, Jones suffered an “accidental self-inflicted gunshot injury” while walking on a Marion street around 6:45 AM. During a hospital interview, Jones told cops that he had an unholstered Hi-Point 9mm handgun tucked in his waistband when the weapon “began to slip.”

Aha! Here’s my point from my opening statement. But it was a Hi-Point! Perhaps the cheapest piece of crap in the world. A weapon so lowly regarded that it inspired a meme! Maybe it actually DID fire on its own. 😉

I know, I know. What really happened was the gun “began to slip,” this dumbass tried to prevent it from falling down the leg of his pants, and either he was sexually aroused and his member engaged the trigger or he grabbed it with his trigger finger. It was probably the latter, but who can say for sure?

As detailed in a Marion Police Department report, Jones “stated the gun does not belong to him and would not disclose who the owner was.” Jones claimed that he had been in possession of the firearm for a day and was in the process of purchasing the weapon. While questioning the suspect, an officer “took digital photographs documenting Mr. Jones’ injury/s.”

No, we don’t get to see those photos, nor do I particularly want to.

When, Jones said, he “reached down to adjust” the gun, the firearm discharged. “The bullet entered just above his penis and exited his scrotum,” investigators reported.

Ouch. I suppose that’s appropriate karma for someone who thought he had balls when he was carrying his piece of crap gun in his pants. Now you’re unsullied. Maybe you can get a job as an extra on “Game of Thrones.” They have a whole army of your kind on that show. They call them “The Unsullied.” You know, eunuchs. Snip snip. Or in your case, just one big bang.