Why Did Creepy Joe Biden Smell This Woman’s Hair?

We all know “Crazy” Joe Biden, “Delusional” Joe Biden, and “Tough Guy” Joe Biden, but easily his most famous persona is “Creepy” Joe Biden. Over the years he’s build quite a pervy resumé by inappropriately touching little girls and fellow democrats’ wives. Now comes a story in which he sniffed a democrat candidate’s hair and then planted a big unwanted kiss on her head. Biden has always gotten a pass for his creepy behavior, but that was before the #MeToo movement when liberals finally figured out rape and sexual assault are bad. Will this be a game-changer?

There’s a story on The Cut today written by Lucy Flores who is a democrat from Nevada. Back in 2014 she was running Lt. Governor of the state and Joe Biden, VP at the time, reached out to her campaign to offer help. She accepted and Biden showed up to a campaign rally on November 1 to lend his support.

And then this happened:

Just before the speeches, we were ushered to the side of the stage where we were lined up by order of introduction. As I was taking deep breaths and preparing myself to make my case to the crowd, I felt two hands on my shoulders. I froze. “Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?”

The easy answer is because the vice president was Joe Biden and that’s what kind of creepy shit he does. As it turned out, there was far more creepiness to happen:

I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified. I thought to myself, “I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?”

If only there was some way to crank the creep-factor up to 11. Oh, Joe’s got this one:

He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn’t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused. There is a Spanish saying, “tragame tierra,” it means, “earth, swallow me whole.” I couldn’t move and I couldn’t say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me.

Maybe it’s just me, but this reads like some Hannibal Lector shit. Biden is a terrifying freak, something Flores confirms:

Biden was the second-most powerful man in the country and, arguably, one of the most powerful men in the world. He was there to promote me as the right person for the lieutenant governor job. Instead, he made me feel uneasy, gross, and confused. The vice-president of the United States of America had just touched me in an intimate way reserved for close friends, family, or romantic partners — and I felt powerless to do anything about it.

The best part about this is that Flores got her ass kicked in the election, losing by a landslide to Republican Mark Hutchinson. Biden didn’t help Flores at all. She got molested by him for nothing.

Joe Biden hasn’t officially announced his candidacy for 2020 yet, but he is almost certainly going to run. Though he isn’t in the race, democrats see him as their top choice to face Trump so they will probably once again give him a free pass on being a super-perv. They would support a convicted child molester if they thought he could beat Trump. Besides, #MeToo is for being outraged at conservatives, not democrats.

This is great news for Trump’s reelection campaign. The president was already going to chew biden up over his gaffes, insanity, and colossal flip-flops, but now all he has to do is put “Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?” on a t-shirt. Boom! 4 more years.