If they can’t ban guns outright Democrats would at least like to force licensing and training on gun owners. Thanks to the 2nd Amendment, that ain’t going to happen but there’s no constitutional right to baby ownership. Recently a couple of dads shot their babies, so maybe democrats could look into regulating parenthood. Shitty parenting results in more deaths every year than responsible gun ownership and, let’s face it, some people shouldn’t ever have children.
First up we have this story from Alabama as reported by WBRC. 22-year-old Timothy Roshun Smith Jr. was at Chuck E. Cheese in Vestavia Hills when his daughter dropped a deuce in her diaper. He took her out to the car to change the diaper, which is considerate because nothing ruins your appetite for pizza like the wafting stench of baby poop.
Smith had his daughter in the back of the car to change her diaper when a gun in the diaper back “just went off.” Wait, he kept a loaded firearm in his daughter’s diaper bag? Maybe this guy isn’t a considerate as I thought. A good question on the National Instant Background Check System for Fatherhood could include:
When should you store a loaded firearm in a diaper bag?
A) Always
B) Only at Chuck E. Cheese
C) Never
After the gun miraculously fired itself, the bullet passed through the daughter’s leg and lodged in Smith’s chest. He was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. Luckily the daughter is expected to make a full recovery. She won’t however be able to get her daddy one of those “World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mugs.
This next story from Michigan is even worse. WILX reports that 32-year-old Michael Glance (pictured) got into an argument with his girlfriend and mother of their 2-year-old son in Blackman Township. There’s no word what the argument was over, but Glance’s reaction was to grab a handgun and hold it against his baby boy’s head. Glance pulled the trigger, but the gun “malfunctioned” and thankfully didn’t fire.
The boy’s mother grabbed the child away from Glance and fled the house. She got the 2-year-old strapped in the car and was attempting to leave when Glance came running out with a shotgun. What happened next is one of the most f*cked up things I’ve ever heard of.
“He pointed the shotgun at the same two-year-old son of his that was strapped defenseless in the back seat of the car. He pointed it at him and blew off half of his face,” said Jackson County Chief Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Kati Rezmierski.
Another good question on the NIBCSFF would be:
When is it okay to blast your child in the face with a shotgun?
A) Always
B) When your old lady is being a bitch
C) Never
As the girlfriend drove away, Glance tried shooting her as well, but his shotgun “malfucntioned” and wouldn’t fire. On top of being a piece of shit baby-shooter, this guy obviously doesn’t properly maintain his firearms.
The 2-year-old boy is in the hospital in critical condition. If he survives he could conceivably get his daddy one of those “World’s Best Dad” coffee mugs, but probably won’t.
Glance was arrested on an assault with intent to commit murder charge and is being held on a $10 million dollar bail. He faces life in prison if convicted, but part of his punishment should include taking 12-gauge double-aught blast to the face just so he can see what it’s like.
Democrats always say that if their unconstitutional gun control efforts save “just one life” it’s worth it. Of course gun control won’t save any lives, but taking children out of the hands of people who have no business being parents would save thousands of lives every year. At the very least prospective parents should have to demonstrate that they are unlikely to shoot their babies. I think that’s a baby ownership requirement we can all agree on.
