This is a twist worthy of an unwatchable M. Night Shyamalan movie. After years of liberals lying that Trump sexually assaulted them, a liberal is now lying that he sexually assaulted Trump. Techno artist Moby claims he “knob-touched” the future President 20 years ago in a helicopter. Huge if true. Not Moby’s member, the allegation. Also, it’s not true. As you will see Moby has some issues with the truth.
The Daily Beast printed part of an excerpt from Moby’s memoirs and of course they used the part were the glorified DJ says he rubbed his dick on Donald Trump.
The degeneracy in this story was in the baffling/gilded category, with the aforementioned helicopter to Staten Island and a generic product launch party wherein I was dared to brush my drunken, flaccid penis up against Donald Trump’s suit jacket. Although, in the spirit of alcoholic disclosure, my caveat is this: as I was very drunk and high at the time I’m still not 100% sure it actually happened. But even though this happened almost 20 years ago, I’m still perpetually stunned by the fact that Americans elected as president a dimwitted con man whose only claim to fame is that he once hosted a mediocre reality-TV show.
Moby’s story is that he had been drinking all day and then ended up at a party with Donald Trump. His friends then encouraged him to “knob-touch” Trump, which is apparently when you pull out your penis and the rub it on someone without them noticing.
“Moby, go knob-touch Donald Trump,” Lee said.
“Really?” I asked. “Should I?”
Donald Trump was a mid-level real-estate developer and tabloid-newspaper staple whose career had recently been resuscitated by a reality-TV show.
“Yeah,” Dale said.
“Yeah,” Clarice said, mischievously.
“Shit,” I said, realizing I now had to knob-touch Donald Trump.
I drank a shot of vodka to brace myself, pulled my flaccid penis out of my pants, and casually walked past Trump, trying to brush the edge of his jacket with my penis. Luckily he didn’t seem to notice or even twitch.
I walked back to my friends and ordered another drink. “Did you do it?” Clarice asked.
“I think so. I think I knob-touched Donald Trump.”
This event supposedly happened just prior to the 9/11 attacks so if Moby is to be believed, he was the first member of the anti-Trump Resistance as well as “patient zero” for Trump Derangement Syndrome. Moby has been a vocal critic of Donald Trump so it seems weird that he just suddenly remembered rubbing his penis on him, doesn’t it?
Moby says he was really drunk and high at the time so maybe it didn’t happen, but he also has a history of lying about Trump. Back in 2017, Moby claimed he had definitive proof that the discredited and debunked Steele Dossier was 100% true. Check out this Instagram post he made, that hasn’t aged well:
None of that shit is remotely true.
What Moby has described is a sexual assault on Donald Trump, but it’s okay because he’s a liberal and Trump is the victim. If James Woods, Tim Allen, or some other conservative entertainer was bragging about “knob-touching” Barack Obama, that would be an outrage, but this is fine with the left who only thinks sexual assault is bad when the other guys do it.
