Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar is famous for angrily throwing things at her staffers’ heads, but she apparently doesn’t just hate people. The democratic 2020 hopeful says she once hit a duck in the head with a golfball, killing it, which she explained is why she shouldn’t play golf. Since this story is almost certainly a lie, it’s really more of a reason why she shouldn’t be President of the United States, a U.S. Senator, or even an at-large member of the local P.T.A.
AMY KLOBUCHAR ADMITS SHE KILLED A DUCK WHILE GOLFING #UFCWForum pic.twitter.com/IpWGjWc2PJ
— Brett Banditelli (@banditelli) September 29, 2019
Klobuchar participated in the United Food and Commercial Workers union forum on Sunday and since she is easily the least interesting candidate left in the democratic field, the moderator asked her if she ever played golf.
“Actually I did one time, try to play golf, and I kind of misfired on my first try. I have played mini-golf a lot with my family but I misfired on the first try and the ball hit a duck in the head, and it appeared to perish. So I don’t think it’s a good idea for the bird population of America if I would play golf,” said Klobuchar.
So she killed a duck playing miniature golf, presumably as a child? Also it’s “miniature golf” not “mini golf” Amy. Like I said, there’s an almost 0% chance this ever happened.
The question is: why would she lie about something this stupid? It doesn’t make her look good and it doesn’t seemingly advance her loony agenda. Then again, there’s a chance it does, just in a really weird way.
Maybe this is part of Klobuchar’s antigun agenda. It could be she’s trying to say that nobody needs an AR-15 to hunt because you can just as easily take out a duck with a golfball. This is actually the most evil possibility, as all firearms could potentially be banned in favor of golfball hunting.
It could also be a shot at President Trump, who is known to enjoy the game of golf. Perhaps this is Klobuchar’s way fo saying that golf is bad because it endangers nature. She killed a duck as a kid with golf, so just imagine what Donald Trump is killing as an adult.
As an extension of that, it could also be part of Klobuchar’s global warming alarmism. Golf courses have a huge negative impact on the environment, including killing ducks, so golf should be banned.
What I think this duck killing lie is about is that Klobuchar did some polling and discovered that she is less likable than Hillary Clinton and she thought a “folksy” story would make her more relatable to regular people. Because she’s insane and completely out of touch with normal human beings, she thinks that killing a duck with a golfball makes her just like regular people. She is wrong on that, by a lot.
Just for fun, let’s pretend this story is real. That means she’s in the same company as NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio in terms of killing wildlife. De Blasio killed a groundhog and Klobuchar killed a duck. De Blasio just dropped out of the presidential race because of low support. Klobuchar has equally as bad numbers, so obviously she’s about to drop out too.
If this “kill an animal, drop out of the race” trend holds, Pete Buttigieg is the next one to go because chances are he’s killed a gerbil. I have no proof of this, I’m just playing the law of averages.
