Hillary Clinton Lies That NASA Wouldn’t Let Her Be An Astronaut

There was an all-female spacewalk at the International Space Station on Friday. Because everything must be about her, Hillary Clinton commemorated this historic event by claiming that NASA crushed her dreams as a little girl to become an astronaut. Unlike a lot of Hillary deception that takes decades-long investigations to unravel, one needs only consult a calendar to debunk this lie because NASA didn’t even exist when she was little.

Get ready to feel sorry for poor Hillary Clinton who has been victimized by the patriarchy her entire privileged life:

Hillary Diane Rodham was born (hatched?) on October 26, 1947 in Chicago, Illinois to well-to-do parents with a successful textile business.

11 years later in 1958 the U.S. Government established The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). Projects Gemini and Apollo (manned space missions) weren’t launched until 1961.

Hillary can’t even pull some Clinton-esque “that depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is” here to prove she isn’t lying. The dictionary defines a “little girl” as “A female child, especially one younger than ten years of age.”

Hillary couldn’t have possibly wrote a letter to NASA asking to be an astronaut because the space agency didn’t exist when she was a little girl. An astronaut wasn’t even a thing until she was 14-years-old, so how is it that “little girl” Hillary Clinton wrote a letter to a government agency that didn’t exist, inquiring about a profession that also didn’t exist?

The easiest answer is: because she’s a lying sack of crap. This never happened.

Hillary could prove everyone wrong by releasing the “sexist” NASA rejection letter, but it was probably an e-mail that she deleted from her illegal private home-brew server along with 30,000 others. Then she probably wiped the letter clean with “like a cloth” and smashed it with a hammer. Sorry, the letter no longer exists because Hillary didn’t think it was important enough to preserve.

Or, more likely, the letter implicates her in a pay-to-play scheme in which she signed over America’s space rights to the USSR in exchange for a massive “donation” to her “Little Girl Hillary Foundation.”

Apparently everything about Hillary’s childhood is a lie. Back in 1995 on a trip to Nepal, Hillary said that her mother had named her after Sir Edmond Hillary, the first man to climb Mount Everest. Again, let’s check the calendar to see if it’s true:

Hillary was born in 1947 and Edmond Hillary didn’t reach the summit of Everest until 1953. Is it possible that Hillary didn’t have a name for the first 6 years of her life? Did her parents call her “it” or “annoying girl” until they were inspired by a mountain climber to finally give her a name? She would have to release her birth certificate to prove this far-out claim, but judging by the rest of her life, there is probably something incriminating with this document as well.

Hillary Clinton is definitely lying about NASA crushing her little girl dreams of being an astronaut, but she can legitimately claim being a “space cadet” now. Her mind is completely gone, having left Earth’s orbit and heading out to the great unknown of deep space.