Rep. Eric ‘Duke Nukem’ Swalwell Farted On Live TV

Eric Swalwell didn’t get to be president and nuke gun owners who refuse to disarm, but he still got to drop a bomb. The California democrat farted on a live TV interview with MSNBC, which was sadly the most intelligent thing he’s ever expressed. Swalwell has tried to claim it wasn’t him but on top of the rule “he who smelt it, dealt it” there is also “he who denied it, supplied it.” If only democrats had this kind of evidence against President Trump in their impeachment farce.

Ladies and gentleman…the incomparable Eric Swalwell:

That’s a ripper for sure; there’s no dispute that the camera recorded a fart. Swalwell will go on to deny this, but if we give this footage the Zapruder film treatment, it’s clear he’s the one who unleashed it.

At the moment the fart can be heard, Swalwell pauses ever so briefly and his entire body lifts up about 3 inches. Not only did he let this one go, it it was one hell of a fart that propelled his body up and to the left. Immediately following the gaseous emission, there is a look on his face like he’s doing everything he can to keep from laughing.

CNN was too busy lying for the democratic party to investigate this one so BuzzFeed got the scoop. Reporter Abby Baird conducted a text message interview with Swalwell about “Fartgate” which is only slightly funnier than the fact that a Buzzfeed reporter has Swalwell’s personal phone number.

Swalwell denies he’s the one who farted, but that’s clearly ridiculous. There’s no one else around besides him and the camera man. Is he trying to blame this one on a hard-working member of the media? That sounds like an attack on the 1st Amendment to me. Actually it sounds like he might have shit his pants, but if Trump did this, the liberal media would claim he’s putting journalists’ lives in danger.

Democrats have a way of wording things so that their lies are technically true. Swalwell may have queefed, which is a kind of fart but not an honest to goodness ass-fart. This gives him plausible deniability should he ever have to testify under oath about it.

If Swalwell wasn’t so witless, he could have covered this by looking down and saying, “Hey look, there’s a rat on motor scooter” or “Oops, I accidentally stepped on a frog” or “Look out! There’s a barking spider!” Instead, he’s trying to play the denial game but the footage doesn’t lie.

It’s probably not a coincidence that he was talking about the democrats’ sad effort to overthrow the duly-elected President of the United States when he blasted one. On a subconscious level he’s confessing that the democrats have nothing to impeach President Trump for and that they are all full of hot air. Hot stinky putrid air.

Swalwell earned the nickname “Duke Nukem” because he threatened to nuke Americans who would resist his plan to confiscate their guns. With this, it’s clear that he is also willing to use biological weapons on freedom-loving Americans. Either way, they are weapons of mass destruction and a clear violation of the Geneva Convention.