Elizabeth Warren Never Washes Her Face For Some Reason

If you think something stinks about Elizabeth Warren’s campaign or fake persona, it could just be her poor personal hygiene. According to the 2020 democratic party candidate, she never ever washes her face. It’s unclear if this is another lame attempt to be folksy and relatable, but perhaps the rich liberal elite assumes regular people don’t wash their faces and wants you to think she’s just like you. It could also be a way to dirty up her “pale face” to give the impression she’s a little more ethnic.

Warren did an interview with Cosmopolitan because she’s so damn glamorous and sadly this was the highlight:

Jessica Pels: You knew this was coming. What is your skincare routine?

Elizabeth Warren: Pond’s Moisturizer.

Jessica Pels: That’s a good one.

Elizabeth Warren: Every morning, every night. And I never wash my face.

Jessica Pels: Wow.

Elizabeth Warren: Nope, nope.

Jessica Pels: You’re one of those.

Elizabeth Warren: Yeah, I am.

Jessica Pels: That’s a very French thing.

Yes, a lack of proper hygiene is a very French thing, but Warren pretends to be American Indian, not French. Maybe there’s a French and Indian War thing going on here, I don’t know.

But wait, this already stupid thing was about to blow up the dumbometer:

Elizabeth Warren: There you go. So I have—had, she’s passed now—but a much older cousin named Tootsie. Years ago, I was, I guess probably somewhere in my 20s, and we’re at a big family reunion. And Tootsie was beautiful. I looked over at her, and I said, “Toots, how do you have such gorgeous skin?” She said, “Pond’s Moisturizer every morning, every night, and never wash your face.” So from Tootsie to me to you.

Joe Biden has “Corn Pop,” Amy Klobuchar has “Uncle Dick,” and Elizabeth Warren has “Cousin Tootsie.” It’s good to have imaginary friends.

Rather than wash her face, Elizabeth Warren rubs on some moisturizer. How does she get the war paint off with that? The stuff she says she uses isn’t make-up remover like a cold cream, it’s lotion. Warren is 70-years-old so if she hasn’t been washing her face since her 20’s, that means she has close to a half-century of grease and grime built up in the wrinkles in her face. That’s pretty gross.

Of course there is the distinct possibility that that Warren is lying about this, like she lies about every other aspect of her personal life. She claimed she was an Indian princess who was fired from a teaching job for being pregnant and then sent her son to public schools. None of that was remotely true and chances are that she has washed her face once or twice in the last 50 years.

The question then arises, why in the hell would she lie about something this stupid and disgusting? The only answer is that she thinks it makes her relatable. As a rich elite, she has no idea what the common folk do, but she assumes regular people are kind of filthy, so she’s pretending there is some common ground by saying, “I’m a dirtbag too!”

Really, this is just Elizabeth Warren’s way of saying she thinks poor people are dirty and smelly.