Thanks to fear mongering in an effort to get President Trump, democrats and the liberal media have whipped people into a frenzied panic over the coronavirus. The biggest WTF? is that the reaction has been for people to hoard toilet paper like they are preparing for a diarrhea apocalypse. Here’s some other crazy crap the happened this week:
Headline of the Week
Buc-ee’s Beaver Nugget beer is coming soon from Panther Island Brewery
Fort Worth-based Panther Island Brewing is creating a new beer made with the famous Beaver Nuggets from Buc-ee’s.
Thursday, the brewery revealed the label for the new beer it’s calling “Road Trip Snacks.”
“We were just sitting around eating Beaver Nuggets, and I was like, ‘Man, this is so delicious I think it belongs in beer,’” Ryan McWhorter, the owner and founder of Panther Island Brewing, said. “It like, melts in your mouth.”
The brewery made a 12-gallon sample batch a few weeks back to test the market using a recipe from a brewer name Sandra. Those batches usually last a day. This one lasted just a couple of hours.
“With it being gone in two hours, that told me that people are really loving this and maybe we need to look further into it,” McWhorter said. “A lot of people have been calling. A lot of people have been coming up here to the taproom and asking.”
The new full batch is being made by dumping in 100 pounds — that’s 123 bags — of the nuggets. It’s an English brown ale that has that same sweet taste as the nuggets.
You had me at Beaver Nuggets.
Hot Dog of the Week
No wonder he looks angry! Grumpy dog with penis-shaped markings on his head becomes an online hit
A grumpy husky dog with penis-shaped markings on his head has become an online sensation.
Meredith White said she never noticed her two-year-old pooch Nitro’s naughty head markings until a stranger commented on it on a photo of him that she had uploaded online.
The 37-year-old from Dallas, Texas, said she burst into laughter and has not been able to ‘unsee’ the phallic fur shape etched into Nitro’s fur ever since.
Meredith and her mechanical engineer husband Brandon, 44, along with their three kids Bailey, 15, Breanna, 14, and Davis, nine, said they have fully embraced their pooch’s unique markings but have admitted to making many jokes at his expense.
‘I never even realised that he had such naughty markings until I posted a photo of him online and someone brought my attention to it.
‘We haven’t been able to unsee it. We cracked up in hysterics, it just made us love him even more.
That husky gets all the bitches. This one, not so much…
Tackle of the Week
HUSKIES’ OT TREY ADAMS WANTED TO CHANGE THE SIZE OF HIS PENIS DURING NFL COMBINE QUESTION
Washington Huskies offensive tackle Trey Adams ran an official 5.60 second 40-yard dash at the 2020 NFL Scouting Combine, but that is not what had people talking about him this week.
During an interview with an unknown team at the combine, a man could be heard asking him if he could change anything about himself, what would it be?
Adams wanted a bigger penis.
There go his chances to get drafted by the Packers.
Happiness of the Week
Medical group challenges city on use of the word ‘penis’ on building sign
A medical group specialized in treating penile birth defects is challenging the City of The Colony after it denied their building sign for a related charity non-profit. Three other signs for the Hypospadias Specialty Center were approved for the building.
The 501-3c named Operation Happenis [sic] is a play on words that relatives of Dr. Nicol Bush, a pediatric urologist, came up with. The sign features the word “penis,” which the City confirms to WFAA was the basis for the denial.
The sign was deemed non-compliant with Code of Ordinances, Chapter 6, “Buildings, Construction, Health, and Sanitation,” according to a city representative.
“You’re gonna call your charity that? We had people question the name we came up with,” said Dr. Bush.
Dr. Bush, who has done thousands of hypospadias repair surgeries, says the public has a very hard time with that word. The group is very used to fighting the stigma that comes along with the word penis.
Dr. Bush is having a hard time with penis.
River Dancer of the Week
New driver crashes his car into river 10 minutes after passing driving test while texting mates
THIS is the shocking moment a man plunges into a river moments after passing his driving test.
The inexperienced motorist was reading text messages from friends congratulating him on passing his exam when he took his eyes off the road.
The driver, identified by local media as Mr Zhang, makes a wrong turn onto a bridge when behind the wheel in the city of Zunyi, located in the southern Chinese province of Guizhou.
Footage from the incident sees the white vehicle swerve in order to avoid two people walking on the bridge.
The motor can be seen flying into the air, before submerging into the icy water.
Thankfully, Zhang was able to escape his car before it sunk, but he did dislocate his shoulder in the incident.
He said: “While I was driving, I tried to grab my phone and read some messages while two people were in front of me on the bridge.
“I became nervous and turned left suddenly.
“Luckily, the car floated for a while. I couldn’t open the driver’s door so I had to kick open the door on the other side. Otherwise, I may never have got out.”
Worried on-lookers were able to help him out of the water and give him some dry clothes.
Sometimes stereotypes are true.
Charmer of the Week
Police arrest thief who defecates at premises before stealing
A thief who defecates at premises before stealing was arrested on Friday night while trying to steal a bicycle from Nkhotakota Police Station.
The man has been identified as Kajombo Simunye, 34, who was already on bail for another theft charge.
According to Nkhotakota police public relations officer Sub Inspector Williams Kaponda, Simunye told police that a witchdoctor gave him the stealing charms with instructions that whenever he arrives at the targeted premises, he should remove all clothes, defecate then continue with the mission.
On Friday night, Simunye wanted to steal and he did all his charms procedure. He then climbed Nkhotakota police station’s fence to steal a bicycle.
However, night duty officers heard him struggling to get the bicycle outside through the fence.
Officers rushed to where the strange noise was coming from, only to find Simunye naked on top of the fence with a bicycle. He was instantly arrested and charged with theft.
This dude literally is a turd burglar.
Asshole of the Week
You’ll Soon Be Able to Walk Through a Giant Colon at McPherson Square
No, it’s not a hoax, or a joke, or a really weak metaphor for the current political climate. There will literally be a giant colon at McPherson Square on Friday, March 6 between 12 and 2 PM, courtesy of the Colorectal Cancer Alliance.
March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness month, and the Alliance is bringing out the 10-foot-tall, 20-foot-long, inflatable large intestine to emphasize the importance of screenings. Though colon cancer is 90 percent treatable when caught early, many people avoid regular colonoscopies out of fear.
“It’s a misperception,” says spokesperson Maurisa Potts. “I’ve had two, and it’s a breeze. The prep’s not fun, but it’s not this scary thing that people think it is.”
Lunchtime passersby will have the opportunity to stroll through the veiny monstrosity to learn how to spot the signs of colon cancer. The interior of the tract will have sections showing healthy colon lining, benign polyps, and cancerous polyps.
Nothing compliments a meal like walking through a giant cancerous anus.
Party of the Week
1 dead, 5 people shot at celebration of life party
One person is dead and five others are injured following a shooting at a party near a skate park in Tulare County, California, late Wednesday night.
A 23-year-old male is dead and his name has not been released. Five others were shot, including a 7-year-old girl who is suffering from multiple gunshot wounds. Two other adult males and two adult females were also shot, police said.
The condition of the other shooting victims is not known at this time, Tulare Police Sgt. Edward Hinojosa said during a press conference early Thursday morning.
Police said a “solo suspect shooter” walked up on the party and opened fire, firing multiple rounds. The suspect is not in custody.
The incident took place at an apartment complex near a skate park at Tulare & I Street during a celebration of life party for someone who was buried Wednesday. There were 50-60 people at the party.
And at the Celebration of Death party they done resurrected a muthaf*cka!
Parents of the Week
York County couple arrested for walking with 3-year-old child while under the influence
A Northern York County couple is facing multiple charges after police say they were arrested for pushing their child in a stroller while under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Police say they observed a couple standing on North George Street at West 11th Avenue around 3 p.m. on March 2 that appeared to be impaired.
According to Northern York County Regional Police, an officer observed that the couple had trouble maintaining their balance as they crossed the street very slowly. They say the woman was pushing a baby stroller.
Police say traffic had come to a stop to give the couple more time to cross the street.
Once on the other side of the street, police say the woman, identified as 23-year-old Jazlyn Winters, dropped a soda and had difficulty bending over to pick it up.
An officer approached the couple and found that they both had “pin point pupils, slurred speech and could not stand still. They also had their 3-year-old son in the stroller.
Police say Winters, and the man, identified as 29-year-old Chad Reed, told the officer they had been smoking marijuana and taking Adderral earlier in the day.
The couple, both Manchester Township residents, were arrested for public drunkenness and endangering the welfare of a child.
With those matching mugshots, I think we just found The Week in WTF? mascots.
Superhero of the Week
Driver dressed in Spider-Man costume exposed himself to woman at red light in Manassas, police say
Authorities say a driver dressed as Spider-Man exposed himself to a woman at a stop light in Prince William County.
The incident was reported Friday around 7 a.m. at the intersection of Sudley Road and Bulloch Drive in Manassas.
According to police, a 44-year-old woman reported that the driver of a 4-door-sedan — dressed in a Spider-Man costume — made an obscene gesture to her while they were waiting at the red light. The woman told police that the driver rolled down his window and exposed himself to her before the light changed and he drove away.
That’s not a web he’s shooting at you, but it is sticky.
I’m With Her of the Week
Police: Lancaster County man bit officer, attempted to disarm him during confrontation
Police have charged a 38-year-old Lancaster County man with aggravated assault and other offenses after he allegedly called 911 more than 20 times, claimed Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and the Ku Klux Klan were threatening him, bit a police officer, attempted to take the officer’s gun, and threatened to kill the officer during an incident Feb. 26, a criminal complaint affidavit states.
James Hau Minh Vo, of Mountville, is also charged with a felony count of disarming a law enforcement officer and misdemeanor counts of resisting arrest, terroristic threats, and false alarm to agency of public safety, according to West Hempfield Township Police.
Vo is accused of texting Lancaster County-Wide Communications nine times and calling the agency eight times, police say. He also was transferred to Lancaster 911 from Dauphin County 911 five times on Feb. 25, according to the complaint.
Vo allegedly wanted to talk to a “good cop about civil rights and KKK issues,” according to police. He also believed that the Clintons were threatening him, police allege.
Jeffrey Epstein seems this crazy too and we all know what happened to him.
Subcontractor of the Week
Local man accused of choking woman, teen claimed to be doing Satan’s work
A Fayette County man says he was doing Satan’s work when he choked two people.
Terry Murphy, 31, admitted to using crystal meth for days before he broke into his neighbor’s home in Luzerne Township this weekend, state police said.
Murphy allegedly yelled that he was chasing a demon dog into their home on behalf of Satan.
He then attacked the woman and a teenager before running off.
Why would Satan hire someone to hunt down a demon dog? The correct answer is: meth.
WTF? You of the Week
Vegan runner asks neighbors to close windows when cooking meat with ‘offensive’ odor
A self-proclaimed “vegan runner” from Berkeley, California received backlash on Saturday after asking neighbors to close their windows when cooking meat because the smells were ‘overpowering and offensive.’
The rant was posted to @BestNextDoor — an account that houses neighborhood drama — which showed the runner had requested nearby residents only barbeque vegetables because it’s “always hard for me this time of year when the weather starts warming up.”
“Several nights a week I’m out running around dinnertime and when people have their windows open I can smell what they are cooking,” the request said. “I’ve noticed a sharp uptick recently in smells of folks cooking meat and it can be quite overpowering.”
“Quite honestly the odor is offensive and I’m hoping our community can have some empathy for its #plantbased neighbors by closing their windows if they are cooking meat and only putting vegetables on their bbq,” the runner added.
They didn’t want to be a stereotype but suggested people should “join the movement” should do some research on why the odor of cooking animals is offensive.
The post, directed to people in the area as “What’s up neighborhood, one love,” received backlash on Twitter.
“‘I don’t want to be a stereotype’ at the end of a multi-paragraph whine about how hard it is being vegan. This is performance art,” a user concluded.
“As a carnivore bbq chef, it’s always hard for me this time of year when the weather starts warming up and vegan runners start running by my windows,” another said.
Another person said they would “roast an entire goat right outside just to spite him.”
“You know what else smells terrible? Runners. Have some respect, exercise indoors with all the windows locked,” another wrote.
No kidding. Vegans smell like shit.
WTF? Yeah of the Week
Texas trucker hauls world’s largest mobile barbecue smoker
When you hear someone talking about seeing smokey on the highway, you presume they saw a cop. But they might be actually be talking about Terry Folsom’s 18-wheeler meat smoker.
The rig is 76-foot long, and weighs 40 tons. Folsom said the barbecue grill/pit trailer is the largest mobile smoker in the world. The custom-made trailer was built in 2000, has 24 smoking compartments and a firebox in the shape of the state of Texas at the rear.
The big rig BBQ pit can cook 8,000 to 12,000 pounds of meat at a time, enough for thousands of hungry folks. Folsom said he uses it only for charity. He has used it to help the Salvation Army in Galveston and for Hurricane Harvey relief.
Now that’s how you make a vegan complain.
WTF? of the Week
Porn star urges fans to wash hands in peculiar coronavirus advice video
A porn star has urged fans to wash their hands in the wake of the deadly coronavirus outbreak in a bizarre video.
Brit adult entertainer Sophie Anderson has been praised by fans for using her platform to spreading the health message, which falls in line with official government advice.
While cupping her assets in a steamy post, Sophie who has 286,5000 followers, tells fans: “Make sure that you always wash your hands to be hygienic, yeah.”
Big announcement from a legend @SophieASlut ❤️💋😘🙌🏻 pic.twitter.com/MbSrxbxOgF
— Rebecca More 🖲 (@more_milf) March 1, 2020
But first I think I’ll wash my eyes.
