As you may know, Def-Con News world headquarters is located in Los Angeles County and we just got some bad news: while the rest of the country and even the State of California is opening back up, LA County intends to keep the coronavirus lockdown going until the end of July. That means 3 more months of massive unemployment and hordes of people wandering the streets making this place somehow more insufferable.
And this is the thing that doomed us:
That’s LA County Public Health Director Dr. Barbara Ferrer. When Punxsutawney Phil comes out of his hole and sees his shadow, that means 6 more weeks of winter. When the Crypt Keeper comes out of her grave and puts on a Beethoven wig, that means 3 more months of martial law in LA County.
Los Angeles Magazine reports:
L.A. County Public Health chief Dr. Barbara Ferrer announced on Tuesday that the county stay-at-home order will “with all certainty” be extended through July. The announcement comes as numbers of confirmed cases and deaths in the county continue to grow.
While Ferrer stated that there could be intermediate baby steps toward normalization during the coming three months…in order to roll back restrictions completely, officials are looking for a variety of things to be in place that aren’t yet ready. That includes making testing so rapid and widespread that Angelenos might be able to self-test at home daily before going out, and making additional therapeutics widely accessible.
Are you shitting me? We can’t get back to normal until we have more therapeutics? What the hell does that even mean?
“It’s safer to stay at home,” said Ferrer.
See, the thing is, people aren’t staying home in LA County. They are out wandering around like a bunch of idiots. I can’t even walk my dog because there are so many people who haven’t mastered the art of walking like normal people. How hard is it to walk to the right when passing someone? The answer is, very hard for people in LA.
The only thing people aren’t doing in LA County is working or going to school. And now this crap is going to go on until the end of July. I can assure you that people are on the verge of snapping and there will be health threats that make the coronavirus look tame by comparison. Perhaps Dr. Ferrar didn’t take into account the sheer number of crazy motherf*ckers in LA County when issuing this order.
Even California is starting to drop this pointless lockdown, with dine-in restaurants, parks, and offices slated to reopen soon. When smirky 80’s movie bad guy Governor Gavin Newsom is the voice of reason, you know things are a tad bit askew.
LA County’s big move is to reopen the beaches, but you have to keep moving, have to wear a mask, and all the parking lots are closed. Where are people supposed to park when they go to the beach to not enjoy it?
I’m predicting a mass LA County rebellion and/or some kind of lockdown riot if these unconstitutional restrictions aren’t lifted soon. One thing LA is good at is rioting and looting and since there’s nothing else to do, it’s coming soon than later.
