Democrats are dropping to their knees against cops, Minneapolis voted to disband the police department, and Seattle has fallen to Antifa. This week’s collection of WTF? can’t possible compete with what the left is doing to this country, but here it is anyways:
Headline of the Week
Penis-shaped cactus sells for Rp 2 million at auction as part of anti-sexual harassment campaign
As part of a campaign against sexual harassment, a cactus shaped like a penis and testicles has been sold in a Twitter-based charity auction for Rp 2 million (US$143). The auction was held to highlight the rise in sexual abuse during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Behind the auction were Raka Ibrahim and his friend, a female survivor of sexual assault who prefers to remain anonymous. It was initially planned that the cactus would be sent to the person who allegedly assaulted Raka’s friend.
However, both agreed to the more honorable action of hosting the auction, with the proceeds donated to the Purple Code Collective, a group focusing on digital rights, especially for women, and which helps to raise awareness about sexual abuse.
“As a friend of a sexual abuse survivor, I would like to show my support. […] this way we can also check our privilege and unlearn toxic sexist mindsets,” Raka told The Jakarta Post recently.
“We are not sure who was involved in this bid, but the auction gained attention as it was shared multiple times by pro-gender equality activists,” Raka added.
According to him, even without setting a minimum bid, the first bidder offered Rp 200,000. An anonymous Twitter user, identified only as #Indotititmungil, which means tiny penis, placed the winning bid of Rp 1.75 million but later decided to raise this to Rp 2 million.
Tiny penis wins little prick.
Bite Fight of the Week
A WOMAN has been accused of biting off her husband’s penis after a violent row that apparently left her with deep bite marks on her breasts.
It is claimed that, following an initial fight, the husband – named locally as Udochukwu Nwimo – went to sleep.
The 25-year-old wife then sank her teeth into the man’s penis, shearing it off.
A cousin of the victim said the woman’s ex-boyfriend had picked her up on Sunday, May 31 and brought her home late at night.
He said: “Immediately the woman stepped in, a fight ensued between herself and husband.
“Some neighbours who came around separated them.
“Then, at midnight, there was a loud shout that woke the people up only to discover that the woman had bitten off his penis while he was asleep.
“He was taken to the hospital that night. I wonder if he will regain his manhood because it was badly cut.”
Further reports said that the woman was apparently a drug addict and often fought with her husband.
The suspect has been handed over to the Police Divisional Headquarters in Aboh Mbaise by angry youths of the area.
The DPO, Ibiba Thom Manuel confirmed the incident, adding the lady also sustained several bites with a deep cut on her breast.
And the winner is, by unanimous decision, the woman.
Doggy Style of the Week
Man embarks on new fetish as human puppy and enjoys electrocuting his penis
A man who enjoys dressing up as a puppy and having his penis zapped with electricity says his fetish has survived the coronavirus lockdown despite now missing out on “belly rubs”.
Freki, probably not his real name, tells the randy C4 documentary Sex in Lockdown: Keep S**gging and Carry On that living as a puppy means he gets lots of cuddles and attention, as well as punishment.
In a clip, the half-naked “human pooch” is wearing a bondage-style hood shaped like a dog’s face and appears to have a “tail” in the form of a butt plug.
Freki says the first time he put on his beloved hood he was “already starting to bark” and has not looked back since then.
He embarked on the fetish, called “puppy play”, just before lockdown began and says he loves being called a “good boy” by his masters.
Since then, it’s been tough for him to meet up with other fetishists and he has become lonely.
He says: “Before lockdown, we were having more meetings, more cuddles, more love, more everything.
“But now it is really hard for puppies.
He says his favourite punishment is having his penis shocked with electricity, which his master will do with the push of a button.
Freki admits that having his genitals subjected to this interesting torture hurts but says he enjoys punishment and takes “a lot of pleasure with that”.
Somehow the weirdest thing about this is the guy thinks puppy training includes penis shocking.
Tall Tale of the Week
Man bites friend’s penis over sex worker
A bizarre incident took place along the railway lines near the Neoplan Station in Accra in which a man bit the penis of another man during a brawl allegedly over a commercial sex worker.
The victim, a Nigerien identified only as “Taller,” had his penis bitten by his friend Habib Lawani and another friend, Jibril Sumana, when they were fighting him over the sex worker whom they had all expressed interest in even though Taller was the first to have approached her.
The two men who engaged Taller in the violent brawl have also been identified as being Nigeriens and have since been arrested by the police.
The Public Relations Officer (PRO) of the Accra Regional Police Command, Deputy Superintendent of Police (DSP) Mrs Effia Tenge, who briefed the Daily Graphic about the incident, said at about 5:50 a.m. on June 10, this year the police received information that three young men were engaged in fierce fighting along the railway line near the Neoplan Station at the Kwame Nkrumah Circle Interchange.
She said the police received information that during the course of the fight one of the men had his penis bitten.
She said when the police arrived at the scene the victim had been taken to the Kaneshie Polyclinic.
As part of investigations, Mrs Tenge said a team of policemen looked for Lawani and Sumana and arrested them.
Later, she said a team of police investigators went to the Kaneshie Polyclinic where “Taller” was receiving treatment to take his side of the story.
Taller told the investigators that his friends were thieves and that his mobile phone was stolen last week at the Chisco bus terminal, near the Neoplan Station, and that he suspected Lawani and Sumana as the persons who had stolen his phone.
Mrs Tenge said Taller also told the police that his two friends attacked him when he confronted them over his missing phone after the three of them had clashed over the commercial sex worker leading to the brawl.
She said a medical report on Taller stated that the head of his penis was badly bruised. Meanwhile, he has been treated and discharged by the polyclinic.
Taller is a little shorter now.
Fishy Story of the Week
Man, 30, has a whole fish stuck in his rectum after ‘sitting on it by accident’
A 30-year-old man in China has had a whole fish removed from his rectum after he had allegedly sat on it by accident.
Gruesome footage shows medics removing the dead blue tilapia from the patient’s body at a hospital.
Reports from local media did not specify the fish’s size but the species usually measures 30-40 centimetres (12-16 inches) long.
The incident is believed to have taken place last Tuesday at the Zhaoqing First People’s Hospital in Guangdong province of southern China.
Doctors made the shocking discovery during an X-ray scan after the 30-year-old man had gone to the hospital for severe abdominal pain.
The patient, who remains anonymous, claimed that the fish slipped into his rectum after he had accidentally sat on the creature…
The man eventually came to the hospital after failing to remove the fish from his backside himself.
The medics had to surgically open the man’s belly to remove the dead fish from his rectum because the fish was ‘quite big’.
A nurse can be heard in the video saying: ‘It stinks so much!’
It remains unclear if the patient has fully recovered.
And with that, anal sushi was invented.
Chopper of the Week
Taipei City councilor busts 53 chopsticks with buttocks after losing bet on Han recall
After losing a bet on the voter turnout for the recall of former Kuomintang (KMT) Kaohsiung Mayor Han Kuo-yu (韓國瑜), Taipei City councilor Chiu Wei-chieh (邱威傑) on Tuesday (June 9) crushed 53 chopsticks with his buttocks.
Chiu, a YouTuber who founded the “Can’t Stop This Party” (歡樂無法黨) in May, claimed that no more than 400,000 people would turn out for the recall vote on Han, thus failing to meet the minimum of 574,996 required to succeed. However, if more showed up, he swore he would smash a pair of chopsticks for every 10,000 votes above his bet with his behind.
Finally, on Monday (June 8), Chiu summoned up the courage and released a teaser on his Facebook page announcing that he would indeed follow through on his promise the next day with “the battle of the anus versus chopsticks.” On Tuesday, Chiu, who goes by the YouTube handle “Froggy” (呱吉), released his long-anticipated video on his YouTube channel.
And with that, anus-fu was invented.
Crank Yanker of the Week
Threesome ends abruptly after man allegedly pulled off woman ‘by his genitals’
A birthday bash that involved a threesome prematurely climaxed after South Carolina cops say one of the participants pulled a man off a woman “by his genitals” and was thrown to the floor.
…cops responded to a 911 call from the La Quinta Inn in Myrtle Beach on the weekend. When they arrived, a woman told authorities she had invited a 19-year-old man to spend the weekend with her to celebrate her birthday.
The birthday girl, Mary Jane, reportedly told cops her boy pal, Jahiem, had shown up to Myrtle Beach beforehand to spend time “with another woman before she got there.” According to a police report, “that’s what started the whole argument,”…
Jahiem told cops he and Mary Jane had agreed to a threesome with another unnamed woman. The birthday girl revealed to authorities that the other woman had a gun in her handbag.
Jahiem alleged that during the hanky panky, Mary Jane grabbed him by his junk, pulled him off the other woman and “threw him to the floor.” A physical altercation then occurred where the man allegedly kicked Mary Jane, causing her to fall in the process.
Both Jahiem and Mary Jane then got dressed and left the hotel room, according to police. The woman then allegedly grabbed a bottle of booze and smashed it on the ground outside the inn as she tried to call 911.
She’s a yankee doodle dandy…
Crap Attack of the Week
Suspect throws feces at officers, damages police car
A man suspected of domestic violence is accused of throwing his own feces at officers while in custody.
Police say the initial incident happened Tuesday night on Gerbera Drive. Officers arrested 32-year-old Kendal Benjamin on a domestic violence assault charge.
According to MPD, while Benjamin was being taken to jail, he defecated and threw it on the officers. Police say he was handcuffed at the time but was able to slip the handcuffs in front of him. The police car was also damaged.
On top of the initial domestic violence charge, Benjamin was charged with criminal mischief and assault with bodily fluids.
Just a reminder to all the Black lives Matter activists that cops have a shitty job.
Shit Shot of the Week
Denver police say the man who shot and killed a woman and injured her boyfriend Wednesday in the Ballpark section of Five Points did so after the man told his dog to poop.
Michael Close, 36, has been charged with first-degree murder for allegedly killing Isabella Thallas, 21, and wounding Darian Simon, 26. An affidavit says Close aimed the gun at the couple through the window of a ground-floor apartment at 3001 N. Fox St. at 11:41 a.m. after the man directed his dog to go to the bathroom.
Close asked the male victim if he was “going to train the dog or just yell at it,” the affidavit states. The victim tried to ignore Close but then saw the gun pointed at him and his girlfriend before hearing shots fired.
The woman, who authorities have not named, died at the scene. The man, who also has not been publicly named, was wounded in his leg and buttocks, according to the affidavit.
Close fled the murder scene in a black Mercedes Benz with Colorado plates and headed toward the mountains on US-285. Denver police alerted their regional counterparts, and authorities arrested him near Pine Junction at 1:08 p.m. after a traffic stop.
The arresting deputy found an AR-15 assault rifle and a handgun on the car’s floor in front of the passenger seat, as well as a gun belt and gun magazines.
Shit just got real, y’all.
Mug of the Week
Man faces attempted murder charges for firing at troopers during Clearfield Co. chase
A Lock Haven man was arraigned this week on charges that include attempted murder after shooting at two state troopers in Clearfield County early Thursday morning.
District Attorney Ryan Sayers says state police engaged 25-year-old Quintin Titus in a pursuit just before 1 a.m. on Route 53 after he failed to pull over for a traffic stop.
Sayers says Titus proceeded to fire gunshots at the state police patrol.
Troopers say he eventually lost control at the intersection of Kate and Elizabeth roads and ran away.
Troopers were able to take him into custody on Blanchard Street in Osceola Mills.
State police say Titus told troopers he traded methamphetamine for the gun and fired the shots to see if it works.
When asked why he fired at the troopers, Titus began to cry and told them he was trying to die “suicide by cop” because he had nothing left to live for, according to state police.
I wonder what he traded for those awesome face tattoos. Probably also meth.
WTF Twofer of the Week
WTF is going on n China? Suddenly the guy with a fish up his ass seems like the normal one.
Head Case WTF? of the Week
A MAN has been pictured walking into a hospital with a huge bloodstained meat cleaver in his forehead.
The unnamed patient, wearing jeans and a white T-shirt, arrived at the A&E department of Chongyang People’s Hospital in the city of Xianning, in China’s Hubei province.
Incredible images show the man – accompanied by two other males – alive and conscious.
Footage taken later at the hospital shows the patient on a bed with the huge knife still embedded in his skull as he awaits treatment.
The man was victim of an “altercation” with an unnamed attacker, according to Chinese media.
The county hospital said the man, whose name has not been disclosed, arrived late on June 8 with blood dripping down his face.
A hospital spokesperson said the man had undergone surgery to have the cleaver removed, according to reports.
The operation was successful and the patient – who is continuing his recovery at the hospital – is not said to be in any life-threatening condition.
Members of the county’s Tiancheng Police Station said they were still investigating the incident which led to the patient’s injury.
An officer said: “We’ve yet to receive any reports related to the incident, but we’re looking into it.”
Doc, I got a splitting headache.
Chest Case WTF? of the Week
Man casually walks into hospital with crossbow arrow lodged in his chest
A bungling man has been filmed casually waiting to be seen at a hospital with a crossbow arrow lodged in his chest.
The hapless patient, identified as 21-year-old Mr Peng, had accidentally shot himself while loading his crossbow.
Incredibly, the bolt missed his heart by just 0.2 inches.
Footage shows Mr Peng waiting at the accident and emergency department of Guangxi People’s Hospital in Nanning, south China.
He appears remarkably calm as the bolt protrudes from his body. Two men flank him on either side to give him support.
The young man was driven to the hospital shortly after shooting the 15-inch plastic bolt into the left side of his chest on June 6.
Mr Peng underwent a successful one-hour surgery to have the bolt removed, a doctor at the hospital confirmed.
Doctor Luo said: “When Mr Peng arrived, the bolt was about 1 centimetre from his heart muscle.
“We spent an hour operating on him, removing a section of damaged lung tissue, patching it up and stopping the bleeding.
“His surgery went very well. He has since regained consciousness and is in good spirits. He can speak and eat without issue.
Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the World. Insane Bolt shouldn’t own a crossbow.
