This week liberals have blamed the spike in violent crime on legal gun ownership, the spike in coronavirus cases on honest people trying to earn a living, and the spike in Antifa terrorism on law enforcement. Here’s a bunch of other WTF? that could use a dose of accountability:
Headline of the Week
Trans woman who boasts of having ‘female penis’ arrested at Portland Antifa riot
A 21-year-old transsexual woman was arrested by federal authorities in Portland, Ore. at an Antifa riot.
Benjamin “Miriam” Eagles Wood-Pavicich was charged with assaulting a federal officer on July 6 outside the Mark O. Hatfield Courthouse. The building has been a target for vandalism and arson by Antifa and Black Lives Matter rioters for weeks. The Department of Homeland Security deployed federal agents to protect the site earlier this month, leading to the arrest and charging of a dozen other assault and vandalism suspects.
Ms. Wood-Pavicich is from Tucson, Ariz. but is studying at Reed College, a prestigious private liberal arts college in Portland.
Details on her role in the assault and riot are not immediately known but she leaves behind a trail of evidence showing her interest in radical anarchism and trans identity.
When not posting about anarchist politics and her hatred of law enforcement, Ms. Wood-Pavicich inquired frequently about sexual advice.
“What is your experience with erections after starting [hormone replacement therapy]?” She asked a subreddit forum last year. “Do you have any advice on what to do if I cannot get or stay hard?” In a later post, she talked about having a “female penis.”
“In my view my penis does not conflict with [being male to female] at all. It’s part of my body and I am female so my penis is a female sex organ,” she wrote.
Ms. Wood-Pavicich has not commented publicly on her arrest but in a recent post, she may have implicated herself on the federal assault charge. On July 4, she posted: “Since taking estrogen I have the mental stability to fight cops all summer long. This is what conservatives are scared of.”
Conservatives are not afraid of the “mental stability” of a Trantifa who looks like Jim Carrey in a mullet wig.
Collision of the Week
Man gives himself ‘car crash’ penis injury with ‘vigorous’ 5am hotel sex session
An unlucky fella broke his penis while “trying to go harder” in a 5am hotel sex session – before a doctor said his twisted todger looked like it had been in a “car accident”.
Stomach-churning photos show the mutilated member being stitched up by medics in Lagos, Nigeria.
Sharing the grisly images, the surgeon who repaired the wrecked willy said: “Men have been experiencing unpleasant trauma while trying to go harder during coitus with their women.
“I even had a patient with such injury last weekend. Some injuries may be mild while some had to undergo surgical procedure to rectify the damages caused.
“It was forceful bending of the penis during vaginal intercourse.
“It also happens with a sharp blow to the erect penis during a fall, car accident, traumatic masturbation, or other mishap.”
A fellow medic added: “It happened at around 5am on Sunday in a nearby hotel.
“The guy was pounding away vigorously in a bid to give the hardest and strongest thrust from outside the box, and he crashed his penis on the mons pubis.
Too bad she didn’t have bigger airbags.
Dickhead of the Week
Why Do Banana Slugs Bite Their Partner’s Penis Off After Mating?
Banana slugs, the North American terrestrial slugs, which are simultaneous hermaphrodites, were the subject of Harold Health’s class at Standford University in the 1900s. He noticed something usual in the banana slugs that they were dissecting though: some had no penis, and some had a stumpy one which seemed to have not been fully developed.
Banana slugs are hermaphrodites, so it is expected that every mature adult should have one.
It is hard to miss the penis of a banana slug as well: it can grow to be 6 to 8 inches, the same length of the slug. The penis is located on its head and emerges in the genital pore.
Heath deemed that the missing penises have been “cast off” and would later regenerate, much like a lizard’s tail when cut off. The stump, he believed, was the initial stage of the regeneration.
Determined to solve the mystery of the missing penis, he collected 200 slugs and studied them in his lab. Unable to observe a complete union of the slug, he took his research further. He explored the field to observe its sex life.
The mating of the banana slug starts with aggressive biting. The animals then lock around, forming a symbol similar to a yellow yin-and-yang symbol. Then, they insert their penises: one slug provides the sperm, while the other slug is at the receiving end. The partner exchange sperm as well. The procreation takes several hours, then they withdraw and eventually part ways.
But Heath noted something unusual in some couples: after the biting and insertion and the slugs are withdrawing their penises, one of the slugs started to bite upon the walls of the organ of the other slug. The biting was “unusually vigorous” that within several minutes, the penis was completely severed.
Sorry, that should have been Hermaphrodite Dickhead of the Week
Locking Nut of the Week
Royal Navy engineer rushed to hospital after drunkenly locking TESTICLE in faulty padlock
A ROYAL Navy engineer had to be rushed to hospital after drunkenly locking one of his TESTICLES in a faulty padlock.
The bungling seaman apparently performed the stunt as part of a prank with other service personnel.
But the joke went sour when the engineering technician was unable to unlock it – as it slowly turned a very crimson red.
Video of the incident shows him trying to free himself before saying: “It won’t unlock” as he shows the camera his futile attempts to unjam the padlock.
A woman asks him what he’s done and tells him to show the camera.
At this time he reveals his testicle and says: “My bo**ock” – prompting laughter from his friends.
The group then laugh and comment on the colour of his increasingly red testicle.
One points at it and says: “It’s not a good colour” as others sing.
After being unable to remove the lock, the man was forced to tell his superiors what had happened.
The Officer of the Day was called before the electrical engineer was seen by a medical officer and rushed off to hospital.
While there doctors had to use huge bolt cutters to remove the item. The man is not thought to have been left with any long-term damage.
He celebrated by getting a padlock tattooed on his leg. A pal shared a picture of it with the caption: “Got his nut stuck in a padlock last night.”
The Hunt for Red October reboot looks awesome.
Nut Grabber of the Week
Felony Rap For Woman In Brutal Testicle Attack
After slashing the tires on her boyfriend’s car, a Florida Woman struck the man and grabbed his scrotum “with such force that it removed the skin from the entirety of the victim’s right testicle,” police charge.
Cops allege that Donika Shaniece Mays, 29, battered the victim yesterday afternoon during a confrontation in their Tampa-area apartment. Mays, who has the victim’s name tattooed on her arm, was arrested on a felony battery charge.
According to an arrest affidavit, Mays and the victim had been arguing all morning before matters turned criminal. Mays and the man have been in a relationship for four years and have a two-year-old child.
The victim told police that he discovered that his vehicle’s tires had been slashed, adding that Mays admitted to the vandalism. While waiting for a tow truck to arrive, the affidavit reported, Mays resumed arguing with her boyfriend and began “striking the victim with open hands as he continuously backed away.”
At one point, Mays allegedly grabbed the clothed victim’s private parts. She “did so with such force that it removed the skin from the entirety of the victim’s right testicle,” wrote Officer Colin Bolton.
When asked by police about the dispute, Mays replied that she “had grabbed the victim’s testicles and had been in a physical altercation with him.”
The thing is, she looks nuts.
Nut Stabber of the Week
Man stabs wife to death, mutilates her foster father’s genitals
A man allegedly murdered his wife and her foster father in Subhash Gram area of Sonarpur, West Bengal. The incident took place on Saturday. The accused has been missing since the incident. The man allegedly stabbed his wife and her father to death.
The incident came to light when a neighbour of the deceased came to their house to pluck flowers. The man first saw the 76-year-old man’s body in his bedroom and then saw his foster daughter. The deceased were identified as Basudeb Ganguly and Sumita Pandit.
Sumita’s body was lying in a pool of blood in the balcony. Sumita’s husband was identified as Ramesh Pandit. Ramesh’s mother and his 4-year-old son were at their neighbour’s home when the incident took place.
On Friday night, Ramesh and Sumita had an argument. Allegedly, Ramesh started assaulting his wife, following which, his mother took Sumita to their neighbour’s home. Ramesh allegedly suspected that his father-in-law was trying to evict them from the house. On the other hand, Basudev was under the impression that his son-in-law was making an attempt to usurp his property.
According to the police, the two deceased had stabbing injuries on their necks and Basudeb’s genitals had been mutilated.
Move along folks. Nuttin’ to see here.
Moobs of the Week
Teen boy grew breasts from ‘experimental’ estrogen prescribed in jail, lawsuit says
A California teen who says he developed enlarged breasts from taking prescribed estrogen while locked up in a juvenile facility is reportedly suing the doctor who gave him the pills.
The teen was given the hormones, which help develop the female reproductive system, after being diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, or ODD, two days into his June 2019 stint at Eastlake Juvenile Hall…
Thirteen days after taking one pill a day as prescribed, the teen’s breasts began to enlarge and swell. He developed gynecomastia, a condition suffered by men with high estrogen levels, according to medical records.
The county health department doctor who diagnosed the teen and prescribed him estrogen, Danny Wang, did so without the consent or knowledge of his parents, the suit says.
ODD is described as a disorder suffered by children and teenagers who are routinely averse to discipline and flout demands of parents and authority figures.
“Estrogen is not a treatment for ODD,” James McGough, a professor of clinical psychiatry at UCLA, told the newspaper.
The teen stopped taking the pills in July 2019 when he complained about the side effects.
He was released from the lockup in April and will need surgery to reverse the pill’s effects, his lawyer, Wesley Ouchi, told The Times.
Dr. Wang gave this teen titties in jail? Now that’s what I call double-jeopardy.
Troobs of the Week
Topless women, transgender breasts welcome in Minneapolis park if board commissioner’s plan succeeds
Minneapolis Park Board Commissioner Chris Meyer is leading the charge to repeal an ordinance preventing women and transgender people from exposing their breasts inside Loring Park.
A local NBC affiliate reporting on the effort, which could change Minneapolis Park Boardordinance PB2-21 by August.
The board is required to obtain three successful votes before the policy can go into effect.
“As it stands currently, a Minneapolis Park Board ordinance PB2-21 states no one 10 years or older is allowed to expose their genitals, pubic area, buttocks or female breast below the top of the areola in a park or parkway,” the station reported Tuesday.
One resident, Barbara Donaghy, told the station that “it’s never bad to look at our laws that may be way outdated.”
Nope.
Hot Chocolate of the Week
Man pours hot water on nursing wife’s breasts in Enugu
One Emmanuel Opoku, who allegedly poured hot water on his wife’s breasts, has been remanded by a magistrate’s court sitting in Enugu South Local Government Area of Enugu State.
The accused was charged with assault occasioning grievous bodily harm on his wife, who is nursing a child at the time of the incident.
According to the charge sheet, No: MES/ 226 c/ 20, Mr. Opoku unlawfully poured hot water on Mrs. Opoku’s two breasts, which caused her grievous bodily harm and thereby committed an offence punishable under Section 290 of the Criminal Code Cap 30 Vol. II, Revised Laws of Enugu State of Nigeria, 2004.
The magistrate, who refused the bail application on the ground of public interest remanded the man, who poured water on his wife’s breasts, in Enugu police custody.
Ironically, Opoku is now in hot water. Un-ironically, those titties are not hot.
Jihad-arrhea of the Week
A 53-year-old man has reportedly been sentenced to 18 months imprisonment and two years of probation for robbing, assaulting, and defecating on an 85-year-old pensioner. The incident took place on May 29 in Le Crosic commune in Loire-Atlantique, western France…
The accused broke into the house of the elderly person through the window and stole his clothing, telephone and three knives. He then fled the scene but returned to take his shoes. The robber was then confronted by the 85-year-old. The elderly man was beaten black and blue. The assaulter proceeded to defecate on him and then smeared the stool over his head. He was later arrested by the police. Reportedly he kept shouting, ‘Allahu Akbar’ and threatened to kill the cops. “Allahu Akbar, I’m going to come back with a car, smash everything, make carnage,” he was quoted as saying.
The accused was a history-sheeter, murderer and had been convicted for 19 crimes in the past, including murder. He was initially handed 24 months in prison by the Saint-Nazaire Criminal Court but later, around 6 months of the sentence was withdrawn. Following imprisonment, the convict has to serve two years of probation.
Islam is the religion of feces.
Groundskeeper Willie of the Week
A primary school groundsman who became obsessed with a schoolgirl and pooped in her best friend’s backyard has been spared jail.
Maxwell John Cook, 33, worked at the school in Illawarra, NSW, where he became infatuated with one of the female students.
Cook also entered the backyard of the student’s best friend and would defecate on the grass, often on a Sunday morning, from September 2019 to February.
He was arrested and police executed a search warrant for his Dapto home on March 26 where officers found eight clear bags filled with woman’s underwear.
He pleaded guilty to all charges at Wollongong Local Court on Friday and was placed on a 12-month intensive corrections order alongside other punishments and allowed back into the community.
During the police search officers found a bag containing 103 washed and unwashed items including lacey underwear, pants and a floral nightie Cook had stolen from a teacher’s laundry basket and clothesline.
Cook admitted to defecating in the family’s yard during a police interview but said he did so because he exercised in the area at night and the backyard was a secluded place where he could relieve himself.
Police searched Cook’s phone where they found an image of the young female student as his background.
They also found a fake Instagram account where he pretended to be a young girl.
In a second interview with police, Cook revealed he was stalking the schoolgirl and told officers he was obsessed with her.
‘I have a fascination with her. I wish I didn’t,’ Cook said…
When asked why he had stolen underwear, Cook said it was part of a sexual fetish he had.
Stealing panties is the least creepy thing about this guy.
Protest of the Week
Black woman says feces, squirrel thrown at her yard on Long Island
Police are now speaking out about an ongoing dispute after a mother on Long Island said she’s been the target of threats and racist harassment by her neighbor.
She even has a note on her front door explaining how she lives in fear after someone placed a dead squirrel and feces in her yard.
“At this time, we do not have any evidence of any bias,” said Nassau County Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder.
On Tuesday, police refused to rush to judgment over the ongoing dispute in Valley Stream…
Jennifer McLeggan is a nurse and single mother. She moved into her home with a white picket fence on Sapir Street three years ago.
Since then, she claims she has been harassed and intimidated by her next door neighbor.
She says what began with complaints against her yard was followed by feces dropped on her property and most recently a dead squirrel
Police confirm both McLeggan and her neighbor have lodged complaints against each other.
“There is no criminality at this time from either side,” Ryder said.
“There’s no arrest, no restraining order,” McLeggan said. “So they’re kind of waiting for me to drop dead in here before they can help me.”
Angry residents are not willing to wait. There are plans are to protest on Thursday in support of the frightened nurse.
Defund racist squirrels and shit!
WTF? of the Week
American flag found with feces, urine in port-a-potty
An American flag now waving on a pole at Stanley Still Park in Poughkeepsie was found covered with urine and feces in a port-a-potty Wednesday.
Chris Edwards, a retired New York City firefighter who served on 9/11 and four-year Navy veteran Johnny B., found the flag.
They say that a group of friends in a softball league for people 60 and older – some of them veterans and retired first responders – saw the American flag wasn’t on the pole. When one of them used the bathroom in the portable bathroom at the park, they found the flag in the toilet with urine and feces on it.
They immediately jumped into action to take it out, using water bottles that they had on hand to clean it.
“Once it dried off, somewhat dried it off…we took it and we brought it right back up and we hung it up on that flagpole because it was a sign of resiliency. Whoever did this… right back in your face. You’re not going to knock us down. You can take one flag. It’s gonna come right back,” says Edwards.
The incident is being investigated by Poughkeepsie police, who say the person or people responsible could be charged with criminal mischief under New York law.
Did they check if Colin Kaepernick has been in the Poughkeepsie area lately?
