This week Joe Biden (or his handlers) picked Kamala Harris, a woman universally disliked, to be his running mate based entirely on her skin color. Here’s some other poor decision making WTF? from the previous 7 days:
Headline of the Week
Man arrested after allegedly groping women, cracking eggs on their heads and wearing fake breasts
Edmonton police have arrested a man after women in north Edmonton and St. Albert were groped and had eggs cracked on their heads.
Police received six reports between April and June that a man was targeting women in the area, a news release said Tuesday. Each report stated a man had cracked an egg on the woman’s head. In some cases the women reported they were groped and in one case a complainant said the man was wearing what appeared to be fake breasts over his clothes.
EPS arrested a 43-year-old man in relation to the string of assaults on Aug. 10. Police believe there may be additional victims.
Michael Todd Schartner, 43, has been charged with six counts of sexual assault with a weapon, unauthorized possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of body armor.
“The egg is in fact the weapon in this case. The other firearm-related charge was the result of a search warrant,” said EPS spokeswoman Cheryl Voordenhout.
And the fake titties were the illegal body armor?
Hard Time of the Week
When Neven Ciganovic woke up from getting a nose job, he was more than a little surprised to notice he had an erection.
He was even more surprised when that erection didn’t go away for three months, and required three surgeries to get it back to normal.
The blogger, stylist, and TV personality, from Croatia, had developed a priapism – a painful long-lasting erection not accompanied by sexual desire – after undergoing rhinoplasty surgery in Iran to correct his septum back in 2017.
Doctors still aren’t sure why this happened, but Neven believes the unexpected side effect may have been caused by a food supplement he had been taking to boost his gym performance, as the pills claim to boost male sex drives.
He was lucky to have the problem fixed by three surgeries and says he is now happy with his penis-related function, even declaring that he ‘lasts much longer than other guys’.
‘Thank God I don’t have any problems with my priapism anymore,’ Neven said. ‘Even now after this complication, I’m happy because my erection still lasts much more longer than other guys.
‘When I woke up from anaesthesia after my nose job with priapism, I went through a really hard time – literally hard.
‘I had a full erection for almost three months. I think I even brought down the world record.
‘I had three surgeries on my penis, and after the third one, my willy started to go down. It was a really painful experience, but I survived with my head up high.
Big deal. I once a had a 3-minute erection during a blow job.
Digit of the Week
Man hospitalized after accidentally shooting his finger during target practice
State police in Somerset say a man was transported to Conemaugh Hospital Saturday after accidentally firing a shot through his finger, while target practicing, according to a report.
Troopers say the man was conducting target practice, at a private camp along Suhrie Hollow Road, in Allegheny Township, when he “attempted to gain a better grip on the gun and unknowingly placed his left index finger in front of the muzzle.”
Authorities say the man fired a shot, which went through his finger.
The extent of the man’s injuries are unknown.
Presumably he can only count to 9 now.
King of the Week
A member of a Facebook group where men jokingly post photos of themselves pointing loaded guns at their genitals, accidentally shot himself in his privates.
The bizarre incident took place on Tuesday in San Diego, California, landing the trigger-happy man in the hospital to be treated for injuries to his scrotum…
The man, who has not been named, is reportedly a member of the Facebook group ‘Loaded Guns Pointed at [B]enis’.
The group was created in May to get a rise out of responsible gun owners by showcasing photos of men pointing loaded firearms with the safety off at their crotches.
He posted a video of himself showing off his .45 caliber 1911 pistol, then pressing the muzzle against his genitals. After a few seconds, the gun discharges.
The wounded man documented what happened next in a series of posts, writing: ‘Hey [b]ois, I might have f***ed up.’
The comment was accompanied by a photo showing the man’s exposed legs with a towel pressed in between them, drops of blood on the floor and a crumpled copy of the US Constitution.
‘I’m not kidding. I just shot myself,’ the gun enthusiast continued her narration. ‘God’s caliber went through my scrotum, mattress, boxspring and floor.’
…the man initially thought the bullet had just grazed his body, but a trip to the hospital confirmed that the round had gone straight through his scrotum, leaving an entry and exit wound.
He reportedly shared a photo of himself laying on a gurney wearing a hospital gown and pointing his finger at his privates in a gesture mimicking a gun.
In the wake of the incident, other members of the Facebook group elevated the San Diego man to the status of an admin and celebrated him as ‘king.’
In a world of eunuchs, the man with one nut is king. Speaking of which…
Lion King of the Week
The man inside the LA Kings ‘Bailey’ lion mascot costume is being sued for sexual harassment after a female employee accused him of making lewd comments and leering at her breast and buttocks.
The woman, who is only identified as Jane Doe, has filed a lawsuit against Tim Smith who plays the NHL team’s mascot…
In the lawsuit, the woman says she was hired by the LA Kings Ice Crew back in 2018 to work at fan events.
She claims Smith, who in addition to playing the mascot also managed the Ice Crew employees, made the working environment for female employees terrible.
Doe alleges Smith regularly made lewd jokes and inappropriate sexually charged comments towards her.
The lawsuit also says Smith would often stare at her ‘breasts and buttocks’.
When Doe complained and said the sexually charged advances were not wanted, the lawsuit alleges Smith fired her from the Ice Crew.
She claims an official on the team had begged her to return.
The official, who had promised to prevent Smith from making any further comments if she returned, was aware of his behavior, the lawsuit says.
Doe claims she returned to her job but alleges that Smith went as far as putting his crotch in her face in the locker room, made lewd comments and thrust his hips at her.
He also serves on the LA City Shitty Kittie Titty Committee so this should have been expected.
BLM of the Week
Teen Who Raped, Inserted A Knife Into A 4-Yr-Old Girl’s Vagina Sentenced!
An 18-year-old man, Kwaku Mensah, has been sentenced to 18 years imprisonment for defiling a four-year-old girl at Dabiasem in the Suaman district of the Western North region.
The Bibiani Circuit Court, presided over by His Honour Yaw Owoahene Acheampong, pronounced the sentence after the suspect pleaded guilty to the crime.
According to the judge, medical report confirmed that the girl has multiple tears in her vagina, vulva and clitoris, as well as forceful penetration into her private part.
Not only did he end there, he inserted knife into the child’s vagina to open her up, making it difficult for her to walk.
A four-year-old girl is battling for her life after a 16-year-old boy allegedly defiled her and inserted a knife into her private part in the process.
The sad incident reportedly occurred at Dadieso in the Western North region while the girl was on an errand for her mother. “I went to church when her mother sent her to give corn to the suspect after he requested for it but he decided to defile the girl after taking the corn,” he said.
Narrating the ordeal on Adom FM, the girl’s father said she was abandoned in a bush for about four hours.
“It was around 10:30pm when the incident happened and we searched every possible place for her but to no avail. We went to the boy but he told us our daughter should be home.
“We had to dispatch a search party and found her tied up in a pool of blood at almost 5pm and rushed her to the Dadieso Hospital but she was referred to Juaboso,” he added.
Mr Boakye explained that it was at the hospital that doctors confirmed her vagina had been completely damaged, adding it was likely another sharp object was used on her.
“She urinates and release bowels in pain and will cry throughout the period. We have done our best but running out of money and appeal to Ghanaians to support us,” he added.
A machete up the ass should have been part of the sentencing.
Advisor of the Week
Horrified teen witnesses man with his genitals exposed performing sex act outside her Preston home
A 16-year-old girl was utterly distressed after finding a man lying on the ground outside her Plungington home with his genitals exposed.
The young girl was outside her home on Ashmoor Street in the early hours of yesterday morning (August 12) when she witnessed a man lying on the pavement with his trousers down revealing his genitals.
Further claims say that the man was heavily intoxicated and was performing a sexual act on himself.
Horrified, the girl ran inside to tell her parents what she had seen and they immediately called the police.
Shortly after Lancashire police arrived to the scene and gave the man ‘words of advice’ but no arrests were made.
What advice did the cops give him? Work the balls more?
Duh of the Week
Charlotte strip club fined by state for drugs, drunk dancers and explicit sex acts
An investigation into the Leather & Lace strip club in University City by North Carolina Alcohol Law Enforcement agents led to uncovering drugs, alcohol and other violations, documents show.
The Leather & Lace case followed a six-month long investigation by N.C. Alcohol Law Enforcement of the Leather & Lace South Boulevard adult entertainment business, also penalized in April for drugs and dancers drinking on the job.
Undercover ALE agents were following up at Leather & Lace North after a complaint about employees drinking on the job, illegal drug sales and violations of a sexually-explicit nature.
A team of eight ALE agents and Mecklenburg ABC officers visited the 7321 N. Tryon St. club six times during the four-month operation, reports show.
Agents said several customers were “heavily intoxicated” during visits. One man was visibly “unsteady on his feet.” Another man passed out at the bar and was “falling out of his chair,” according to the reports.
Strippers and club employees drank shots of Fireball, Crown Royal Apple, Patron and cocktails like “Dirty Shirley,” according to the report.
Some dancers were seen “stumbling” and one 24-year-old stripper “just laid on the stage rolling around and would go crawl on all fours” to get to her drink at the back of the stage, a report said. It is a violation of the liquor license for employees to work while or after consuming alcoholic beverages, according to the ABC commission.
Agents also purchased powder cocaine from a stripper named “Yummy” on three visits, including $200 for an “eight ball,” a 1/8th ounce of cocaine, according to the report.
Dancers also were too sexually explicit, the agents said in the report, including one “performing dancing services with her genitals exposed and allowing patrons to touch her during the dance.” In a private dance with “Ling Ling,” she showed too much of her genitals, an agent said.
To settle the violations, the club has until Sept. 4 to pay a $5,000 fine or face a liquor license suspension, according to the ABC commission.
It’s shocking that this kind of thing goes on at a titty bar.
Bitch of the Week
Seattle brewer puts anti-police markings on cans
When customers buy a beer from the small Seattle-based brewer, Mirage, they might see a message on the bottom of the can.
In June, a beer called “Choosey Lover” had a stamp that read “ACAB means all cops.”
ACAB stands for “all cops are bastards.”
In a text message, Mirage owner and brewer Michael Dempster wrote, “I used the markings because I stand against institutional racism, of which modern policing is a militarized arm.”
Mirage’s marking triggered blowback on social media, with some customers saying they’ll no longer buy the beer.
Dempster wrote, “If it means someone won’t buy my beer anymore, good. The beer was not created for them. I make my beer for folks who are actively anti-racist, anti-Trump, anti-fascist and pro-equality.”
He should call it “Bitch Beer.”
Teacher of the Week
Naked tourist clambers onto sacred shrine before dubbing locals ‘f****** paedos’
A drunk tourist sparked outrage after she stripped down and clambered onto a sacred Buddhist shrine, hurled abuse at locals all whilst swigging from a beer.
Farah Haque, 28, was caught on camera as she drunkenly scaled onto the religious site in Chiang Mai, Thailand, on Monday, August 10.
She screamed abuse at passerbys before police came to escort the intoxicated tourist to a local hospital where she was ordered to sober up.
Haque perched naked on the handrail while waving her arms widely and chugging from a can of Chnang beer.
She hurled profanities at passing residents – telling one person to “get the fuck out of here you f****** paedophile”.
And she repeatedly shouted “chok dee motherf***ers – which translates to “cheers”.
The drunkard’s foul mouthed rant came as she sat stark naked on the shrine.
She could be heard screaming “w*res the lot of you” before telling one intervening local to “get the f*** out here”.
The explicit outburst also included the yob call someone a “paedophile” and an “ugly C***.”
Officers arrived and detained her before taking her to the local hospital to sober up.
They said she had arrived as a tourist but had been working as an English teacher since April.
Sometimes online classes are better…and sometimes they’re not:
Zoom of the Week
Florida child’s mother shot and killed during online Zoom class as teacher watches
A Florida elementary school student was on Zoom for her first day of school when her mother was shot and killed during the online class, police said.
The shooting happened Tuesday at a home in Indiantown, about 30 miles southwest of Port St. Lucie, just after 8 a.m. The suspect, Donald J. Williams, was taken into custody that same day and faces charges of first-degree murder as well as other felony offenses, Martin County Sheriff William Snyder said.
Six children were in the home at the time of the shooting, including a 10-year-old girl who was taking an online class for Warfield Elementary. Many schools around the country have opted for online lessons due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Snyder said at a news conference on Tuesday that the girl’s teacher witnessed the child reacting to the shooting.
“The teacher’s online — I’ve never done a Zoom with children, so I’m picturing there’s other children on — and the teacher can see the children. The teacher said she heard a commotion, heard profanity,” he said. “Realized there was some type of domestic altercation. Still could see the child that’s online. The teacher said she mutes her button so nobody has to hear it and then she sees the 10-year-old put her hands up to her ears.”
“Almost immediately after the child put her hands up to her ears, the computer screen went blank. We know the computer was hit with a projectile,” Snyder added.
Does this count as a a school shooting?
WTF? of the Week
Erotic weight gainer binges 10k calories a day to grow 35st body and please kinky fans
A 35st man is on a mission to put on even more weight.
Gainer Bull, whose real name is Bryan, binges on 10,000 calories a day.
The Florida-based 44-year-old does so to please himself and his 7,000 fans, who have a fetish for bulkier blokes.
Some tune in to watch his “loading sessions”, where he films himself eating food.
And others follow him on Instagram and OnlyFans, where he posts topless pictures of his signature “ball gut”.
While the fetish may seem unusual to some, it’s pretty well-known in both LGBTQ and straight communities.
Bryan’s own interest in gaining weight transpired when he noticed an attraction to bigger body types in his teens.
“I can remember being as young as six and watching cartoons with exaggerated body proportions of muscle and bellies that just caught my interest as an ideal.
“In my teens I started working out and in my early twenties I started to work on bulking up my gut as well.
“It turned sexual in my teens when I realised the idea and process of getting bigger excited me more than anything else.”
It seems my beer gut is way sexier than I previously believed.
