The virtual Democratic National Campaign may be one of the most boring things in the history of everything so presumptive nominee Joe Biden is doing everything he can to keep us entertained. In one interview he revealed that he wants to be called “Joey B” and then promptly forgot how many grandchildren he has. In another, he forgot the year he was inaugurated as vice president. He’s like the David Copperfield of dementia, pulling misremembered facts out of his magic hat.
In this first clip Biden is interviewed by rapper Cardi B. It’s great that she doesn’t seem to care what a raging racist he is.
“Oh, snap. Is this real? Hi, Biden, how are you?” Cardi B asked.
“How are you? The name’s Joe,” replied Biden.
“Well, hello there, Joe,” said Cardi B.
At that point Cardi B meets Biden’s daughter Ashley, who is apparently a big fan of the rapper. That prompts Joe to drop this:
“You know the nickname [Ashley] gave me when she was growing up? She called me Joey B. So we may be related,” said Biden.
You can’t argue with that logic. I call Biden “Crazy Joe” so chances are he is also related to Lakota war chief Crazy Horse. He should have somebody run his genealogy because if he’s related to a black rapper and a historic Native American it would really boost his numbers with minorities.
Speaking of family trees, Biden seems to have pruned a few branches:
“I’ve got four kids, five grandchildren—c’mon, I’m an expert. I understand about kids—the most important thing—they come first,” Biden said.
Narrator: Biden has 7 grandchildren, not 5.
Perhaps Biden isn’t the expert he claims to be. His family is not mine, but I do have access to the internet and can find out how many grandchildren he has in a matter of seconds:
Joe’s dead son Beau and his widow Hallie Olivere had 2 children. Joe’s crackhead son Hunter and his first wife Kathleen Buhle had 3 children together. Hunter also had a 1 child with his second wife Melissa Cohen. Hunter also had a lovechild with stripper Lunden Roberts. 2+3+1+1=7.
I get that Joe is unwilling to acknowledge the kid with the stripper, but what other grandchild does he hate so much that he forsakes him or her too?
Also, him saying he has 4 kids is a little misleading. He had 4 kids. Past tense.
In this next clip, Joey B is boring Tom Hanks to tears with an unhinged story about riding the Amtrak train.
Joe Biden repeatedly forgets he was first inaugurated as vice president in 2009: “January of 2018…I mean excuse me 2012”pic.twitter.com/pw3dVL6yoQ
— Tommy Pigott (@TCPigott) August 18, 2020
I don’t hate myself enough to try to transcribe this thing, but I’ll sum it up for you: Biden rode a train to meet a “black man” who turned out to be Barack Obama. They were on their way to be inaugurated and according to Biden this happened in January of 2018. After a while Biden corrected himself and said he was inaugurated in January of 2012.
Narrator: Joe Biden was never inaugurated in January of 2018 or 2012.
The first time Obama and Biden were inaugurated was January of 2009. The second time they were inaugurated was January of 2013. See, the way it works is the presidential election happens in November of an even-numbered year and then the winner is inaugurated in January of the next odd-numbered year. For example, Obama beat RINO John McCain in the 2008 election, but didn’t instantly become president, having to wait until January 2009 to get sworn in.
It’s amazing that Joe, who went through this twice, doesn’t know this.
I think it’s pretty clear why Joe Biden refuses to take the cognitive ability test. If he doesn’t remember how many grandchildren he has or when he was inaugurated as vice president, chances are he won’t recognize a picture of an elephant of know where he is.
