Joe Biden Builds ‘Malarkey Factory’ So Voters Don’t Think He’s A Senile Pervert

Just when you thought Joe Biden’s sad campaign couldn’t get any more pathetic comes the news that he has built a 10 million dollar “Malarky Factory.” The stated purpose of this thing is to stop voters from believing he is a senile old coot who likes sniffing women’s hair. It’s unclear if this venture aims to poke out everyone’s eyes so they can’t see the hundreds of hours of video of Biden losing his mind and creeping on little girls, but that would be the only way it could work.

I already checked, this is not from the Onion or The Babylon Bee, it’s a genuine Washington Post article:

Joe Biden’s campaign has quietly built a multimillion-dollar operation over the past two months that’s largely designed to combat misinformation online, aiming to rebut President Trump while bracing for any information warfare that could take place in the aftermath of the election.

The effort, internally called the “Malarkey Factory,” consists of dozens of people around the country monitoring what information is gaining traction digitally, whether it’s resonating with swing voters and, if so, how to fight back. The three most salient attacks the Malarkey Factory has confronted so far are claims that Biden is a socialist, that he is “creepy” and that he is “sleepy” or senile.

Biden embraces socialist policies like single-payer healthcare and the Green New Deal. If it walks like a socialist and talks like a socialist, it’s a socialist.

Biden is credibly accused of sexual assault, likes to sniff woman’s hair against their will, and lets little kids rub his hairy legs. If it sucks like a pervert and f*cks like a pervert, it’s a pervert.

Biden doesn’t know where he is, what office he’s running for, or who his wife is. If…sorry, Biden can’t remember the rest of this one.

In any case, this is what the Malarkey Factory is doing to keep people from observing the obvious:

The Malarkey Factory has already been at work. When Trump began attacking Biden as a socialist, for example, the Biden campaign saw that it was affecting Hispanic voters in Florida. So it developed counter-messaging that showed a different image of Biden, with him speaking of his love for America and being endorsed by former president Barack Obama, and the campaign blasted the messaging to Latinos in the state.

So no denial of being a socialist? Just video of him with a black America-hating socialist to impress the Latinos? That’s brilliant.

The campaign also found that Trump’s attack on Biden’s criminal justice record was not resonating with the Black voters prized by Biden’s campaign. His attacks on Biden’s mental acuity, however, were hitting home, so the campaign sent videos to targeted voters showing their candidate talking clearly and articulately.

Where in the hell did they find videos of Biden talking clearly and articulately? Even wen he isn’t making insane gaffes, he’s still unable to pronounce most words and his rambling run-on sentences don’t help either.

Sadly, the Malarky Factory has no strategy for dealing with Joe’s sick perversions. They said that is one of the 3 big things they deal with, but I guess some realities can’t be washed away with disinformation or diarrhea.

Now this Malarky Factory cost $10 million to operate, which absolutely proves Biden should never be in charge of our money. You could get one person to do this job for minimum wage, but Joe’s dropping 10-large on it. And in fact, doesn’t the liberal media rush to defend Joe and cover up his deficiencies? This is completely unnecessary and a huge waste of money.

A car factory makes cars. A toy factory makes toys. Biden calls this a ‘Malarky Factory’ which is the most honest thing to come out of him ever. Malarky is another word for bullshit and that’s exactly what this factory is churning out. If Biden were competent, cognizant, or not a moron, he would have named it the “No Malarkey Factory.”