It’s just days before the presidential election and the liberal media continues its WTF? protection of Joe Biden by refusing to cover any of the scandals involving his corruption and his crackhead pervert son. Here’s some WTF? they will cover, though it’s nothing compared to Hunter’s inappropriate sexual relationship with an underage family member:
Headline of the Week
ROCHESTER MAN PLEADS GUILTY OVER COCAINE FOUND IN SOMEONE ELSE’S BUTTOCKS
A guilty plea is entered over cocaine found in someone’s buttocks.
Mahad Mahamud Mohamed, 25 of Rochester, pleaded guilty Monday to 2nd degree drug possession.
He was arrested after a traffic stop in the 1200 block of 12th Street SE in Rochester on December 13, 2018. Authorities say a teen in the car with Mohamed was searched and law enforcement says cocaine was found in his buttocks. Mohamed is accused of telling the teen to hide the drugs in his pants.
Mohamed is scheduled to be sentenced on December 7.
Allahu Ass-bar!
Beater of the Week
Man who touched penis in front of schoolgirls cries in court after brutal prison beating
A man who exposed himself to three schoolgirls and a woman cried in court after inmates battered him in prison, it has been reported.
Sebastian McKay pleaded guilty to four counts of indecent behaviour in Adelaide, Australia back in August 2020.
Before his sentencing, he is being held at Yatala Labour Prison but an application submitted by prosecutors to have him register as a sex offender delayed the hearing.
McKay’s defence lawyer, Justin Wickens, told the court he was having a “hard time” in prison and had been battered by other inmates.
Mr Wickens said his client, who appeared in Adelaide Magistrates Court by video-link and was reportedly crying during the hearing, had done a “long amount of time in custody already”.
Fun fact: beating it in front of children leads to beating behind bars.
Dangler of the Week
Flasher ‘dangles’ his penis over wall in front of shocked teenagers
Officers are hunting the offender, who was out walking a black Labrador when he approached the teenagers by a canal in Selby.
North Yorkshire Police said the man asked a teenage girl to hold his dog while he went to urinate behind a wall – but he then exposed himself.
Selby Neighbourhood Policing Team said: “The male is described to intentionally expose his penis, by ‘dangling’ it over the wall for them to see.
“The male has then followed two of the females and asked one of them if she had a boyfriend.”
The suspect is a white male, in his 40s or 50s, around 5ft 6in or 7in, large build, dark hair…
…with a giant dong capable of scaling a wall.
Jangler of the Week
MAN FOUND AT BOJANGLES WITH PARTIALLY SEVERED PENIS AFTER WIFE BITES IT IN SELF-DEFENSE
41-year-old Jerry Anderson was charged with aggravated rape, aggravated assault, and domestic assault after strangling his wife until she passed out and forcing his penis into her mouth as she regained consciousness.
On October 13th, Lebanon Police Officer Harbaugh arrived at 100 Rollingwood Drive in response to a domestic call. Officer Harbaugh made contact with Chiquita Anderson, who stated she got into an argument with her husband, Jerry Anderson, after he came to her house to wash clothes. During their argument, Jerry went outside and slashed Chiquita’s tires. When she tried to stop him, he punched her and knocked her to the ground. Officer Harbaugh observed swelling under Chiquita’s left eye and cut on her arms.
On October 21st, Lebanon Police Officer Matthew Hudspath arrived at 409 Rollingwood Drive in response to a domestic disturbance call. Upon arrival, Chiquita advised that she and Jerry got into an argument before Jerry hit her on her right temple then strangled her until she blacked out.
Chiquita told police when she regained consciousness, she saw Jerry drop his pants and attempt to put his penis in her mouth, demanding that she suck it. After he succeeded in forcing it into her mouth, she bit down and partially severed the end of his penis. Chiquita advised Jerry then left the residence and officers found him at Bojangles.
Do they fix severed wangs at Bojangles? Also, who could have predicted a forced blowjob could have ended so badly?
Checkmate of the Week
Stamford man stabbed in buttocks over game of chess
An argument over a chess game resulted in one man being stabbed in the buttocks, but no arrests have been made in the case, police said.
Sgt. Kenneth Jarrett said police were called to an apartment on Mohawk Court on the report of an assault after 5 a.m. Saturday.
The 51-year-old victim said he knew only the first name of the man who stabbed him, and refused to give police any more information.
“Nobody wanted to say anything,” Jarrett said. “They were playing chess. they got into a small argument and somehow the victim got stabbed in the butt.”
Jarrett said the owner of the apartment called 911 to report that a friend had been stabbed.
The literal definition of being a butthurt loser.
Streaming Service of the Week
34-year-old Curtis Wonderly was charged with public indecency, resisting arrest, evading arrest, public intoxication, unattended vehicle, and open container violation after fleeing and making it five steps before falling to the ground.
On October 25th, Metro Nashville Police Officers spotted Curtis Wonderly in his vehicle by himself at 1613 Buchanan Street. He left his vehicle while it was running and went inside Northwest Liquors. An officer approached the vehicle and spotted a noticeable, open container of vodka in the cupholder. When Wonderly came back to his vehicle, the officer could smell a strong alcoholic odor. He was unable to stand steadily on his feet and had slurred speech.
While he was being detained, he peed himself for multiple seconds. He then said, “It’s gotta come out,” and whipped his privates out of his pants. He peed on the sidewalk and when he finished, attempted to flee. He ran for approximately five steps before he fell. He refused to roll over and put his hands behind his back, but was eventually taken into custody.
Worst getaway ever.
Bender of the Week
Yaniv now suing Ontario beauty pageant for not letting her in
Trans-gender activist Jessica Yaniv has filed yet another human rights complaint – this time against a girls and women’s beauty pageant for not allowing her to participate.
Yaniv (also known as Jonathan Yaniv and as Jessica Simpson) said she was discriminated against by Canada Galaxy Pageants when they refused to let her enter the “28 Years and Older” division.
The Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms, which is representing the pageant, said Yaniv has male genitals and was born a biological male, but now self-identifies as female.
“In May 2019, Yaniv applied to be a contestant in the Pageant, and was tentatively accepted. Yaniv did not mention being transgender prior to applying,” said the Justice Centre in a Monday news release.
“At the time, Canada Galaxy Pageants had a formal policy of accepting genetic females as contestants, but would still accept transgender females who had fully transitioned and no longer had male genitals. This policy was noted in all paperwork and on the website. The pageant’s policy has since been revised to include ‘genetic females and fully transitioned.’”
All of the contestants, including girls as young as six, change their clothing and undress in common areas. Contestants from teens and up also compete in a swimwear category.
“Once reminded of the pageant’s policy, Yaniv filed a human rights complaint against Canada Galaxy Pageants, alleging discrimination based on gender identity, gender expression and sex, in violation of the Ontario Human Rights Code,” said the centre.
“Yaniv is seeking damages in the amount of $10,000 for “injury to dignity and feelings,” and requests that the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario rule that an organization cannot refuse a service to someone just because that person has male genitalia.”
Even if they look past his wiener, it’s still a beauty contest.
Taster of the Week
Wilkes-Barre woman’s lawsuit alleges M&Ms tasted like feces
A woman from Wilkes-Barre alleges she unknowingly ate several moldy M&Ms that left her with a fecal aftertaste, according to a civil suit filed in Luzerne County Court.
Marie Sweeney, through Attorney Robert S. Betnar of Pittston, filed a three count suit against MARS, Inc., the McLean, Va., manufacturer of M&Ms.
Sweeney alleges in the suit she purchased a bag of M&Ms for $2.99 at Wegmans Market in Wilkes-Barre Township on Nov. 10, 2018. After arriving home and putting groceries away, Sweeney in the suit claims she placed several M&Ms in her mouth.
“(Sweeney) immediately noticed that the M&Ms tasted like candy coated feces and spit up part of what she had placed in her mouth,” the lawsuit says.
Sweeney became sickened after ingesting the M&Ms, the suit alleges, while the bad aftertaste remained in her mouth despite brushing her teeth and rinsing with mouthwash several times.
Sweeney claims in the suit she became physically ill, vomited and sustained mental anguish due to ingesting candy coated fecal matter.
How does she know what feces tastes like? Bonus joke: And she had a shit-eating grin.
Pussy of the Week
Florida man mauled by leopard after paying for ‘full-contact experience’ with big cat
A Florida man paid for a “full contact” experience with a black leopard – and ended up severely injured, according to reports.
The animal kept in a backyard zoo in Davie, Fla., reportedly attacked the visitor the moment he entered an enclosure…
The customer, identified as Dwight Turner, 50, had paid $150 for a close-up encounter with the animal, to “play with it, rub its belly and take pictures,” according to [reports].
After the big cat finished with him, Turner’s scalp was “hanging from his head and his right ear was torn in half,” investigators said…
The Davie sanctuary owner, identified as Michael Poggi, was licensed to run the attraction…Authorities said he was charged with allowing full contact with an extremely dangerous animal and maintaining captive wildlife in an unsafe condition, the report said.
What part of full contact don’t you understand? Bonus joke: In Florida, pussy eats you.
Loon-a-Ticks of the Week
Judge Approves Change to Lake’s Racist Name
The residents of Lost Loon Lake have officially shed the lake’s old racist name after a Flathead County District Court judge ruled Tuesday to grant a petition filed by more than half of the lakeshore property owners.
Judge Dan Wilson granted the Petition for Change of Watercourse Name and wrote, “the public record shall reflect the lake’s name change to Lost Loon Lake.” According to Montana statute, the secretary of state will receive the name change order in January to make Lost Loon Lake’s new name official.
Whitefish City Attorney Angela Jacobs filed the petition on behalf of 12 of 21 property owners in August, asking the court to remove the name Lost Coon Lake, which contains a racist slur for African-Americans. In the filing, Jacobs also noted that Lost Coon was a “compromise” name after “(N-word) Lake” was deemed too offensive.
In court filings this month, Whitefish Community Library Director Joey Kositzky shared a 1964 article from the Whitefish Pilot newspaper with the headline, “(N-Word) Lake name changed.”
WLGC also installed a nesting platform for loons, an aquatic bird found in Northwest Montana, to create a welcoming habitat for the birds at their now-eponymous lake.
Additionally, home owners have traded in their Coonhounds for Loonhounds. In related news:
KKKake of the Week
Nutella PR and Accidentally Racist Halloween ‘Ghosts’
Claim
Nutella Puerto Rico (@NutellaPR) shared a photo of a cake bearing marshmallow “ghosts” that looked rather Ku Klux Klan-like in posts to Facebook and Instagram before deleting them.
Rating
True
The Nutella “ghosts” image was genuinely shared and later deleted by Nutella PR. The underlying image appeared to be a stock photograph, into which a jar of Nutella had been added for the brand’s social media accounts. As users objected to the imagery, the post was deleted and the page shared an apology.
That cake is actually from the Democratic Party’s celebration of 400 years of inclusion and diversity.
Pro of the Week
$2M lawsuit filed against pastor, lawyer says he has ‘proclivity’ to urinate on people
A Michigan woman who was allegedly urinated on by a pastor during a Delta red-eye flight this month is seeking more than $2 million in damages.
Nationally known personal injury attorney Geoffrey Fieger filed the civil lawsuit Thursday on behalf of victim/plaintiff Alicia Beverly, of Detroit. The complaint filed in Wayne County Circuit Court says she suffered mental and emotional distress as a result of the urination incident during an Oct. 13 flight from Las Vegas to Detroit.
A news release from Fieger’s office points out that Beverly is a black woman and Pastor Daniel Chalmers, who admitted to and apologized for the incident this week, is a white man. Fieger also suggests that Chalmers has a tendency, inclination or predisposition to urinate on people.
“It is difficult to believe that a church would hire a pastor who boarded a plane drunk and has a proclivity to urinate on passengers,” Fieger said.
Chalmers had a 0.17 blood alcohol content (BAC) at the time of the incident and admitted to taking an Ambien sleep aid and drinking two alcoholic beverages prior to the flight.
Beverly was sleeping next to her sister in a seat near the back of the airplane when she felt something warm. She woke up to find a man standing over her, shaking himself off and a puddle of urine on the seat. She screamed. An off-duty police officer jumped into action to restrain the suspect. Beverly sat in wet clothes until the plane landed at Detroit Metro Airport.
Pee is racist.
Crop of the Week
West Hempfield Township man charged in connection with marijuana growing operation
A Lancaster County man is facing drug charges after a marijuana growing operation and THC products were found in his home, the district attorney’s office said.
Paul Katherman Jr., 47, of West Hempfield Township, is charged with six felonies and a misdemeanor.
Investigators said they seized $20,000 cash and the following items:
- 41 live marijuana plants, which were being grown indoors.
- 1,495 grams (3.3. pounds) of dry marijuana.
- 3,840 grams (8.5 pounds) of THC gummies.
- 1,007 grams (2.2 pounds) of THC wax.
- 232 grams of psilocybin mushrooms.
- 108 THC vape cartridges.
- Various paraphernalia.
The district attorney’s office said Katherman waived a preliminary hearing this week, and all charges were held over for disposition in Lancaster County Court.
Since things didn’t work out in Hempfield, Katherman is moving to Shroomville to try his luck.
Gobbler of the Week
Cop Bites Husband’s Testicle During Fight
A 39-year-old Police Officer has been arrested after she bit one of her husband’s testicles following a marital dispute.
Edith Chisengo had been involved in a marital dispute with her husband identified as Joseph Mpasi, 50, of Chingola, leading to the incident.
The victim sustained an injury on his testicle, leaving him in a pool of blood on his private parts.
Copperbelt Police Commissioner Charity Katanga has confirmed the development in an interview, stating that the victim had been admitted at Nchanga Hospital.
“Human bites on both the left arm and on the scrotum were used to inflict the injuries. This happened after a marital despite,” Katanga said.
Defund the police!
WTF? of the Week
Armed rooster stabs police officer to death as he intervenes in illegal cockfight
A police officer has been killed in the line of duty under some very bizarre and tragic circumstances.
Lieutenant Christian Bolok was attending a raid on an illegal cockfight in San Jose, located in the Philippines’ central province of Northern Samar, on Monday.
Cockfighting is a popular blood sport in the country, with money often bet on the deadly outcome. Two cockerels are typically forced to fight to the death in an arena, armed with bladed spurs.
The sport had been banned, along with other sporting and cultural events, since the onset of the coronavirus pandemic in an effort to prevent transmission of the virus.
Lt Bolok, the police chief of San Jose, had turned up at the cockfight to gather evidence of illegal activity, and picked up one of the roosters with the intention of confiscating it.
As he did so, one of the armed bird’s blades cut into his thigh and happened to slice right through his femoral artery, the main arterial supply to the thigh and leg.
The unlucky police officer was rushed to a provincial hospital where it was pronounced he had bled to death.
Refund the police!
