With all the pandemic, lockdowns, race riots, election theft, and disappointing second season of The Boys, 2020 was the most WTF? year in modern history. It was also not a very good year for genitals and morons. Here’s the top WTF? moments from the top WTF? year:
Headlines of the Year
Penis Cake Leads to Investigation of Racism, Sexual Harassment at Michigan Morgue
Man arrested after allegedly groping women, cracking eggs on their heads and wearing fake breasts
Spiders ‘the size of your hand’ are coming into our homes looking for sex, says expert
Greek police probe aid workers on Lesbos island
Nintendo Of America Originally Wanted Pikachu To Be “A Tiger With Huge Breasts”
Dicks of the Year
Chinese Boy Inserts 2-Foot-Long Metal Wire In His Penis to Find out Where Urine Comes From
Woman burns boyfriend’s genitals because he couldn’t sustain his erection
Man who lost penis to blood infection has new one built on his arm
Dog Dicks of the Year
Dog rips off man’s penis as he chats with neighbour – leaving him screaming in agony
DOG ‘STEALS’ ITS OWNER’S PENIS AND RUNS AWAY
Man embarks on new fetish as human puppy and enjoys electrocuting his penis
Nuts of the Year
Couple shot man in testicles for revenge
Ten-stone testicle man, 49, dies of heart attack
Vaginas of the Year
Trans woman suing over sex-change op that left her with ‘rotten’ 3-inch vagina
Woman glued up her own vagina in attempt to frame ex-boyfriend for crime
Ohioan, 50, Arrested After Calling 911 To Report That Her Pussy Was Ablaze
An Ohio woman called 911 late Saturday evening to report that her “pussy was on fire” and that she needed someone from the fire department to “put it out with their hose,” according to an arrest report.
After placing that emergency call, Katrina Morgan, 50, hung up the phone. When a police dispatcher called her back, Morgan reiterated that she required first responders to “come put her pussy out because it is on fire.”
…Morgan “appeared highly intoxicated” when cops arrived at her friend’s home in Port Clinton, a city on Lake Erie. Morgan smelled of booze and was “having trouble walking, was slurring her speech,” police noted.
No pussies of any type were found ablaze inside the residence.
Boobs of the Year
WHITE MODEL WHO IDENTIFIES AS BLACK BRAGS ABOUT HER EVEN ‘BIGGER AND FIRMER’ BREASTS
Asses of the Year
Man with crack between his buttocks found not guilty of drugs supply offences
Zimbabwean Man Lives Without An Anus For 35 Years
Man, 30, has a whole fish stuck in his rectum after ‘sitting on it by accident’
Husbands of the Year
Man who super-glued wife’s vagina after filling it with pepper, onion, salt arrested in a shrine
Gambling addict in India throws acid on wife for refusing to be raped by pals
Husband slapped wife in the face with penis during a Zoom call
As coronavirus lockdown entered its fourth week, *Maggie and *James started getting creative with how they passed the time.
The couple came up with a hilarious new game which involved slapping the other person with random things.
Whoever chooses the most random thing wins – which is why James needed to get Maggie back after she got him with a tampon one morning.
“Today I decided it was time for revenge. I got out of the shower, dried off and looked for her,” he wrote in a since-deleted Reddit post.
“I saw she was on her computer with headphones on. I snuck in from the side and – boom – dick slapped her square on the cheek. She never stood a chance.
“I stood there expectantly waiting for her to laugh or some sort of reaction.”
But instead of laughter, what Maggie said next shook James to his very core.
She turned around, white in the face, and just said “I’m on a call”.
James immediately assumed that she was joking … but then he looked at the computer screen.
There he saw the blurry faces of “several gobsmacked co-workers” – only one of whom he had even met in real life.
Wives of the Year
Woman bites husband’s penis after he refuses to kill rat in their home
MAN FOUND AT BOJANGLES WITH PARTIALLY SEVERED PENIS AFTER WIFE BITES IT IN SELF-DEFENSE
Wife, 66, ‘stabbed herself in vagina then blamed it on husband she shot dead’
Parents of the Year
Incest mum who killed two sons was ‘loving, caring and competent mother’ report claims
Woman escapes after chopping off one-year old son’s genitals
Struggling new dad “pulled baby from bath by genitals”
A struggling new dad dropped his two-week old son in the bath and pulled him out by his genitals, a court heard.
And when the tot’s mum changed him she noticed he had marks on his stomach and she called in paramedics, who found the boy’s private parts were sore, swollen and bruised.
The disturbing discovery was an earth-shattering hammer blow which resulted in the breakdown of the marriage and a criminal prosecution, Bristol Crown Court heard.
The 33-year-old defendant, who lives near Bristol, pleaded guilty to causing cruelty to a child.
David Maunder, prosecuting, said the dad initially had no explanation for his son’s injuries.
But he went on to say he and his wife had been struggling with the newborn and, on the night in question, he drank four bottles of Stella lager and two gin and tonics and was “half-cut” when he dropped the tot face first into the bath.
Mr Maunder told the court: “He said (the baby) fell face first into the bath from a height of two-and-a-half to three feet.
“The defendant grabbed out at what ever was standing out.
“He pulled him out by his genitals.
Mugs of the Year
Food Fights of the Year
Local woman stabbed in face during fight over bag of shrimp
Florida man arrested for beating and throwing chair at child in doughnut dispute
‘Cannibals’ lured victim to cabin in the woods for genital surgery, sheriff says
Two men have been charged in Oklahoma for allegedly illegally castrating a victim they had lured into the woods after the 28-year-old answered an online ad for discounted gender-affirming surgery.
Bob Lee Allen, 53, and Thomas Evans Gates, 42, were charged on Wednesday in connection with the incident, court records show.
The victim looked up discounted castration and gender-affirming medical care online, then travelled to Oklahoma from Virginia via Dallas earlier this month, according to a police affidavit obtained by The Oklahoman newspaper. The 28-year-old drove to the suspects’ cabin in the woods of southeast Oklahoma, where the pair performed the surgery.
The victim was awake but the pubic area was anesthetized during the two-hour procedure, according to the affidavit. Allen allegedly performed the surgery on a covered dining room table with assistance from Gates, the victim said.
Afterward, Allen allegedly told the victim he would “consume the parts and laughed that he was a cannibal,” according to the court documents. The two men also allegedly tried to get the victim “to participate in cannibalism.”
Allen allegedly showed the victim photos of a freezer filled with human parts, and described other operations he’d performed over 15 years.
Shits of the Year
WILKES-BARRE WOMAN’S LAWSUIT ALLEGES M&MS TASTED LIKE FECES
Australian pub bans local emus after they defecate in building, steal toast
Farts of the Year
Irishman’s fart set off carbon monoxide alarm after St. Patrick’s Day pints
Man charged with assault after farting in Uber
Woman calls police to accuse brother of farting on her toothbrush
“A woman, 18, reported at 12:39 p.m. Dec. 20 that her brother had farted on her toothbrush. Officers learned the woman was not at the home and had called from a different in city in an effort to irritate her brother,” the report said.
The police warned her not to call again for frivolous issues like this.
Shots of the Year
Portland man who shot himself in groin, blamed it on homeless man, gets prison
Man attempts to shoot woodchuck on his property, bullet ricochets off tree and hits nearby golfer
Man casually walks into hospital with crossbow arrow lodged in his chest
Squirrels of the Year
Bloodthirsty Squirrel Leaves 2 Hospitalized, Neighbors Hiding Out During Daytime
Black woman says feces, squirrel thrown at her yard on Long Island
Busty Scots squirrel goes viral for its giant ‘breasts’ in hilarious picture
Florida Men of the Year
Naked Florida man tells deputies he’s ‘Batman’
Florida man punches cab driver, shouts ‘I’m Rick James, b–ch!’
Florida man dies after window shuts on him during burglary attempt
Losers of the Year
MAN HIGH ON METH, FIGHTS OFF 15 POLICE OFFICERS WHILE MASTURBATING
Inebriated York County man had indecent contact with woman after drinking 13 beers in 90 minutes
Biker with meth falls during race, accidentally shoots himself before getting hit by car
While racing, the suspect lost control of his bike and wrecked. During the accident, a weapon in his waistband discharged, striking him in the hip, and he was also struck by another vehicle that fled the scene. He was transported to an area hospital in critical but non-life-threatening condition. A records check revealed him to be a felon, and a large bag of suspected methamphetamine was located in the motorcycle.
Freaks of the Year
Winners of the Year
Doctors Report The First Known Case of a Person Who Urinates Alcohol
One-armed, schizophrenic roller-skater charged in stabbing rampage
Plumber ‘dropped trousers, waved penis and invited police to search his balls’
Harvey Wilson, 28, had spent the night celebrating his birthday in August last year and was still out in Bolton town centre at 5am.
A court heard he argued with staff at the Bamboogy nightclub and police were called to speak to him and a friend.
Yet when officers approached and said they wanted to search them, Wilson dropped his trousers and pulled down his pants.
Prosecutor Betsy Hindle said: ‘He showed his genitals to the officer and said words to the effect, “do you want to search under my balls as well?”‘
Destinations of the Year
Butts County man charged with possession of child porn, bestiality
Philadelphia man, brother found dead after going missing at Murderkill River
Austrian village named F–king to change name after unwanted tourist attention
Celebrities of the Year
Michael Jackson’s daughter dated a man that had a vagina
Johnny Depp allegedly threatened to cut off Elon Musk’s penis after learning of alleged affair
Tom Brady reveals his testicle grew to the size of ‘an orange’ after early-career injury
Pseudo Celebrities of the Year
Boys let black widow bite them in hopes of turning into Spider-Man
‘Black Robin Hood’ mooned judge and flashed his genitals during Oxford sentencing hearing
SLC man found covered in blood told police he had fought ‘the terminator and killed him’
F*ckers of the Year
Man gives himself ‘car crash’ penis injury with ‘vigorous’ 5am hotel sex session
Wife ‘walked in on her husband, 42, having incestuous sex with his mother, 64’
Shocked sister calls police after she woke up to ‘find her brother’s penis in her mouth’
A woman was shocked after she woke up and allegedly discovered that her brother had dangled his penis into her mouth.
The woman claims she invited the man over to her Townsville home, in north-east Queensland, on Friday afternoon to mow her lawn.
After the woman went to sleep inside it is alleged her brother followed her and put his penis in her mouth…
The woman awoke to discover the alleged sexual assault before her brother walked outside and began to mow her lawn.
Things That Look Like Things of the Year
Animal F*ckers of the Year
Man develops penile pain after unnatural act with donkey
Man killed his pet chickens by having sex with them as his wife filmed
Man ‘caught having rough sex with “screeching” dog told owner he was just hugging it’
Chevance Smith, 24, was found in EL Paso, Texas engaging in sexual contact with an 8-month-old female boxer-pit bull mix named Meda on Saturday, police said. Smith allegedly told the owner ‘I didn’t know you had dibbs on the dog,’ when he was caught in the disgusting act…
Meda’s owners allegedly heard screeching sounds outside in the middle of the night and found Smith with his genitals out and his boxers pulled down.
He was holding the dog’s rear with one hand and choking the dog with his other hand, while lying on the ground next to her, police documents said.
Smith then stood up and said, ‘What? I’m just hugging Meda.’
WTF?s of the Year
Porn star who makes penis candles arrested for murder after psychedelic toad venom ritual
Armed rooster stabs police officer to death as he intervenes in illegal cockfight
Polish woman, 25, goes BLIND after getting her eyeballs dyed black
The ball is now in 2021’s court to see if it can out-WTF? 2020. With Joe Biden in the White House, it’s not only possible but probable that next year will be even more WTF? than this year.
