The biggest WTF? this week is that the liberal media took a non-racially motivated shooting spree and turned it into a racially-motivated shooting spree. The mainstream media cannot be trusted to deliver real news, even when it’s a cut-and-dry crime story. That’s why it’s refreshing that there’s still some straight WTF? out there that we can rely on:
Headliner of the Week
Plummeting sperm counts, shrinking penises: toxic chemicals threaten humanity
The end of humankind? It may be coming sooner than we think, thanks to hormone-disrupting chemicals that are decimating fertility at an alarming rate around the globe. A new book called Countdown, by Shanna Swan, an environmental and reproductive epidemiologist at Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York, finds that sperm counts have dropped almost 60% since 1973. Following the trajectory we are on, Swan’s research suggests sperm counts could reach zero by 2045. Zero. Let that sink in. That would mean no babies. No reproduction. No more humans.
The chemicals to blame for this crisis are found in everything from plastic containers and food wrapping, to waterproof clothes and fragrances in cleaning products, to soaps and shampoos, to electronics and carpeting. Some of them, called PFAS, are known as “forever chemicals”, because they don’t breakdown in the environment or the human body. They just accumulate and accumulate – doing more and more damage, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Now, it seems, humanity is reaching a breaking point.
As if this wasn’t terrifying enough, Swan’s research finds that these chemicals aren’t just dramatically reducing semen quality, they are also shrinking penis size and volume of the testes. This is nothing short of a full-scale emergency for humanity.
Swimming in a cold pool also causes shrinkage.
Runner-Up Headliner of the Week
Pollution could be behind the rising number of boys born with their testicles in the wrong place, a new study warns. French researchers say babies born with undescended testicles has shot up by as much as 50%, especially in places with coal mines and metal works.
Undescended testicles, also known as cryptorchidism, is the most common male genital defect, affecting between 1% and 8% of newborns. In the U.S., about 200,000 boys are born with the condition each year.
In most cases, the organ corrects itself within six months of birth. Around 1 in 100 boys need surgery to move them into the right position, however. If left untreated, those with the condition may have fertility problems later in life and face a higher risk of testicular cancer.
The study focuses on 89,382 French boys who went under the knife for cryptorchidism between 2002 and 2014. Results show the number of children with an undescended testicle increased by 36%.
The French haven’t been this nutless since 1940.
Rider of the Week
An ex-Rebels bikie is believed to have permanent damage to his penis after he was shot at least three times through the window of a taxi.
Chris Rymer, 30, was gunned down while sitting in a Silvertop taxi in Riverstone, in Sydney’s north-west, shortly after 9am on March 3.
Two bullets hit the heavily-tattooed father-of-two in the stomach, but another allegedly struck him in the penis, The Daily Telegraph reported.
Rymer was rushed to Hawkesbury Hospital before being transferred to Westmead Hospital for emergency surgery, but doctors may have been too late to save his genitalia.
The moment when a hard rider becomes “Easy Rider.”
Gnawer of the Week
Furious Wife Bites off Husband’s Penis For Sleeping at Co-Wife’s Home
In a shocking incident of domestic violence, a woman in Bugweri District, Eastern Uganda on Monday March 17 sank her teeth into her husband’s penis in anger after he returned in the morning following a full night at her co wife’s home.
45-year-old Bashir Mukaire, a father of nine is fighting for his life after his first wife Asifa Nakagolo, 38, bit off his penis accusing him of adulterous behavior at Nawampiti Village, Idudu Town Council Bugweri District.
‘’My second wife is an expectant mother, the reason why I slept there and returned to Nakagolo in the morning. Upon seeing me, she charged and gnawed into my genitals causing a major tear’’, revealed Mukaire.
Mukaire was immediately rushed to a nearby health facility, where he is receiving treatment for the shocking injury.
Namuwaya Sophia, a fellow resident said the victim would have bled to death if he was not rushed to the hospital because the penis has a very rich blood supply. The blood supply to the penis is close to the brains.
“His penis can’t be re-attached because it “died off” so to speak before it could get to the hospital. This man will not be able to have sex for the rest of his life. This man will be urinating via a catheter for the rest of his life according to injuries he sustained’’, said Mr.Suna.
There is an actual picture of this gruesome wound at the link. I don’t recommend you look at it.
Baller of the Week
NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal revealed he once almost burned his balls and needed milk to cool them down.
The basketball great, 49, opened up on the hilarious testicle incident that happened during a game.
Shaq recalled his first experience with pain relieving gel ‘IcyHot’ on Conan’s ‘Need a Friend’ podcast.
The former MVP said: “I always used to see IcyHot in the locker room, and one day I kind of had like a thigh bruise, and the guy rubbed it, but he rubbed it too high.
“During the game, my little guys started getting hot – like, really hot. I thought something was wrong.
“It got to the point where I was like: ‘Hey man, I think I need a doctor, my little guys are on fire’.”
O’Neal ran off court and straight into the showers, but he said the water just spread the gel around his body even more
And he was given a brilliant piece of advice by a caretaker to use cold milk to solve the problem.
Shaq said: “So now I’m in the shower pouring milk on my boys and the guys coming in, they’re looking at me like ‘what the hell are you doing?’.”
Blowback from the Shaq sack attack.
Grabber/Thrower/Puncher of the Week
Man charged as racist testicle-grabbing, book-throwing puncher at Braintree Red Line station
Transit Police report arresting a Boston man they say went ballistic when told to get off the train at the end of the line in Braintree late last night.
According to police, Joseph Edge, 48, did not go gently into the good night but instead began yelling racial epithets at the T worker trying to get him off the train. When a Transit Police officer arrive and made the same demand, police say, Edge hurled the epithets at the officer and then told him to perform a sexual act on himself.
The officer employed numerous de-escalation techniques to no avail. The officer not deterred continued to try and coax Edge from the train. At this point Edge threw a book striking the officer in the face and then grabbed the officer’s testicles while punching the officer. The officer was able to overcome Edge’s assault and with the assistance of responding officers placed him into custody.
Police say that as the officers led him away for booking on A&B charges up at Transit Police headquarters, he re-screamed the racial epithets at the T worker who had first tried to get him out of the train.
This dude is so edgy.
Scooter of the Week
An 80-year-old man arrested after exposing himself at a NCFL Walmart
Chiefland Police Department arrested a man for exposing his genitals in a Walmart.
According to CPD, witnesses said Hoyt Neeley was riding around the store on a motorized cart with a hole in the crotch area of his pants. The report says the 80-year-old man would then pull his penis through the hole, fondling and exposing it to victims.
CPD says there were previous complaints against the man that matched Neeley’s description in the past, however, his identity was not confirmed until this last incident.
Neeley was arrested and transported to the Levy County Jail, where he was released on his own recognizance a few hours later.
He was charged with exposure of sexual organs.
He was riding around on a golf cart and got a hole in one.
Master of the Week
‘Taoist master’ doing ‘boob job from a distance’ suspected of fraud
A video of a “Taoist master” performing breast enhancement, not as a surgical procedure but via mind-control from a distance, recently went viral on China’s social media. The man is suspected of fraud, according to the authorities.
Standing opposite 27 women who are in a line, a middle-aged man in a black coat and glasses stretches out his arms and makes circles with his fingers in the air, and then walks past them one by one, the video shows, purportedly making their breasts grow bigger.
Some of his patients’ on-camera feedback seemed to lend credibility to his technique. “My breast size grew from 87 to 91 millimeters the first time and then to 93 after the master did it for me the second time,” a woman said in the video.
“I can still feel my breast bulging,” another said, with a smile.
Apart from breast enhancement, the man claimed he can also heal various diseases like bone fracture and breast tumors, as well as making people grow taller or lose weight without any surgery or medicine. He also claims to be able to make people smarter by “putting some air in their head,” according to media reports. He labeled his “skills” as Zhuyoushu, an ancient Chinese form of witchcraft.
The “master” calls himself a Guhao Taoist master and says he is the head of a Taoist clinic affiliated with a temple called Jinque Palace in Shijiazhuang, North China’s Hebei Province. However, the authorities believe he may be a fraud and they also have doubts about his “patients.”
Seems legit to me.
Shooter of the Week
Tyler woman accused of shooting fiancé in the buttocks
Tyler police report an argument escalated to a shooting Friday night. According to police, Lauren Shea Castle, 36, and her fiancé were arguing over their relationship at Castle’s home in the 2900 block of Dinah Ln. The clash grew more intense with property being damaged at which time, according to police, Castle shot her fiancé in the buttocks.
He was taken to the hospital and is in stable condition.
Castle was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and is being held at the Smith County Jail on a $100,000 bond.
She really does look like a pain in the ass.
Jumper of the Week
Russian daredevil bungee jumps off an abandoned warehouse with cord attached to buttock piercings
As if jumping off a bridge attached only to an elastic rope wasn’t enough to make your stomach churn, this Russian daredevil decided to do it while hooked on by his buttock piercings.
The eye-watering stunt was captured on camera in the city of St Petersburg before being circulated on Russian social media channels this week.
Video shows the man jumping from what appears to be the roof of an abandoned warehouse, some 50ft in the air.
He plunges towards the concrete floor before the rope pulls taught, letting out a scream as the tension is taken up by four metal rods passing through his buttocks.
The as-yet unidentified daredevil then swings back and forth, suspended only by his piercings – two in each cheek.
The clip was posted online accompanied by the message: ‘This Saint Petersburg extremist wanted to feel the whole range of existing pain sensations.’
Remember when Russia was the biggest threat to the United States?
Beater of the Week
St Clair man refuses request to stop masturbating in public
A man been charged after wilfully and obscenely exposing himself in St Clair last week.
About 8am on Tuesday, March 9, it is alleged a 30-year-old St Clair man stopped outside the bedroom window of a 34-year-old woman just a few houses down the road from his own address.
It is alleged the man removed his penis from his pants and began to masturbate while calling out to the woman.
The woman called the police, and it is alleged he could be seen then walking to the front porch of the house while still touching his penis and calling out to the woman’s 63-year-old mother, who also resides at the location.
The 63-year-old woman and her husband both told the man to stop and tried to get him to go home but he refused.
Once the man left, the police attended and spoke to the women about the incident.
After attending his address, the man was arrested and charged with multiple offences while a personal violence order was sought for the women.
Request denied.
Groper of the Week
Suspect in ‘sexual assault spree’ ordered to undergo mental health evaluation
A serial sex assault suspect will remain in custody as he undergoes a mental fitness evaluation, authorities said Friday. City Prosecutor Steve Alam said Randy Jacob, 37, “is alleged to have gone on a sexual assault spree in the Downtown Honolulu area beginning in early March.”
All the assaults were misdemeanors and after each arrest, he was let go.
But after the most recent arrest, a judge set a bail amount for him. And on Friday, Judge William Domingo said there is reason to doubt his mental fitness to proceed to trial.
Jacob will be transferred to state Health Department custody and held without bail until at least his next court date on April 21.
Jacob has been arrested seven times since March 3.
In five of those incidents, he is alleged to have groped women’s breasts and buttocks without consent. In the sixth incident, he is accused of grabbing a woman and pulling her close to him.
The latest allegations stem from an assault of one of Alm’s own deputy prosecutors, who said Jacob allegedly put his hands down her clothes Tuesday.
Cashless bail reform works!
Penetrator of the Week
Pickle-Packing Perv Popped On Private Premise
A pantless Florida Man was arrested yesterday after police spotted him pleasuring himself with a pickle while on a private premise…
Responding to a suspicious person call around 4 PM, a cop saw Eric Detiege, 47, lying on his back in front of a townhouse in Oldsmar, a city in the Tampa Bay area.
Detiege, unencumbered by pants or underwear, had his penis in one hand and “a large uneaten pickle in his other hand.” Detiege, the cop added, was “using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating.”
…Detiege was arrested on a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs charge.
Detiege, whose address is listed as the Flying Cloud Mobile Home Park in Tampa, has prior convictions for theft, disorderly conduct, resisting police, and criminal mischief. Jail records note that Detiege has “Only God can judge me” tattooed on his arm.
That’s a dill d’oh.
Shopper of the Week
This is the moment a sex-shop customer was beaten with a sex aid and chased out by a sales assistant after he was seen pleasuring himself in front of a BDSM mannequin.
The CCTV footage, believed to have been recorded in Russia, filmed the customer as he was shown a display of adult products by a member of staff before being temporarily left alone.
The unnamed man then spotted a synthetic woman in black latex in the coroner of the room and began performing a solo sex act.
But just moments later he was caught by a sales assistant who grabbed a plastic penis from the rack and chased him out of the store.
Retelling the woman’s story, the news outlet said: ‘A client came to our reader, who works in a sex shop, to seize the moment for choking the chicken in front of a mannequin, dressed in sexy clothes.
‘The girl noticed and stopped the masturbation by hitting the fetishist on the head with a dildo.’
That’s a dil don’t.
Handler of the Week
Medical Director of Caring Hands Animal Hospital Charged With Bestiality
A Florida veterinarian has been arrested on charges of sexually abusing animals in his care.Prentiss Madden, 40, the medical director of Caring Hands Animal Hospital in Aventura, was booked on Tuesday on charges of possession of child pornography also.
Madden is the first person to be charged under a new law signed in 2019 to combat the production of animal cruelty videos for sexual gratification…
According to a criminal complaint, federal investigators were tipped off by Dropbox that one of its users had received more than 1,600 files of suspected child pornography. They traced the images to Madden’s home — and the hospital he oversaw.
Agents from U.S. Homeland Security Investigations raided his home on February 24, and seized his devices, on which they say they found private social media chats in which Madden discussed “the sexual abuse of animals and children.”
In one conversation, Madden allegedly bragged about a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old boy from Orlando; in another he is said to have shared graphic images and details of him having sex with a dog, writing “I was keeping a dog that needed a home.”
From digital evidence, investigators believe the videos were filmed at his home, and the animal hospital. “This leads me to believe that Madden may be abusing animals entrusted to his care,” HSI Agent Leah Ortiz wrote in the complaint.
In his now-deleted profile on the hospital website, Madden described himself as the “proud pet parent” of a Shih Tzu dog named Lucky, and two Burmese pythons, Mocha and Sherbert.
It turns out his hands weren’t so curing and his dog wasn’t so lucky.
Listener of the Week
Florida man allegedly pulled out human ears while being questioned for grandpa slay
A Florida man allegedly pulled a pair of severed human ears out of his pant pockets while being questioned in his grandfather’s murder.
Kolby Parker, 30, was accused of fatally stabbing his 77-year-old grandad Ronald Wells, Sr., on Saturday evening inside the Lake County home they shared, the Orlando Sentinel reported.
Parker initially told investigators that he acted in self-defense, saying the older man attacked him with a knife during a fight the two had while smoking marijuana, according to the report.
He claimed he was forced to turn the knife on Wells, whose body was found on the front porch with multiple stab wounds.
But while he was being interviewed in the case, Parker allegedly took his grandfather’s ears out of his pants — and then lunged at a deputy, while trying to grab his gun and taser, the report said.
Police said Parker eventually confessed that he wanted his grandfather to be with his deceased grandmother and “it was his time to go,” according to an arrest affidavit obtained by the Sentinel.
He allegedly hit Wells multiple times in the head with a baseball bat before repeatedly stabbing him with a butcher knife and cutting off his ears, cops said.
Parker also allegedly punched, kicked or head-butted three deputies as they attempted to arrest him, according to the affidavit.
In another gruesome detail, investigators said they found an apron in Parker’s bedroom that had the phrase “The Family Butcher” printed on it and plastic, bloody human ears attached to it.
What?
Seller of the Week
NYC man sells fart for $85, cashing in on NFT craze
A Brooklyn-based film director is simultaneously mocking and attempting to profit off the cryptocurrency craze for non-fungible tokens (NFTs) by selling a year’s worth of fart audio clips recorded in quarantine.
“If people are selling digital art and GIFs, why not sell farts?” Alex Ramírez-Mallis, 36, told The Post of his dank addition to the blockchain-based NFT market.
His NFT, “One Calendar Year of Recorded Farts,” began incubating in March 2020 when, at the beginning of the global coronavirus lockdown, Ramírez-Mallis and four of his friends began sharing recordings of their farts to a group chat on WhatsApp.
On the one-year anniversary of the US’s COVID-19 quarantine this month — by which point Ramírez-Mallis said he could darn near identify members of the group by their farts alone — Ramírez-Mallis and his fellow farters compiled the recordings into a 52-minute “Master Collection” audio file.
The top bid for the file is currently $183.
Individual fart recordings are also available for 0.05 Ethereum, or about $85 a pop. The gassy group has so far sold one, to an anonymous buyer.
“If the value increases, they could have an extremely valuable fart on their hands,” he said.
I’ve let millions slip away by letting people pull my finger for free.
Drinker of the Week
Man gets trashed, has to be rescued from garbage truck in Enid
A man needed a little bit of help early Monday morning at a McDonald’s in Enid after having a little too much to drink the night before.
The drunk man had to be rescued from inside of a garbage truck, the Enid Police Department said in a Facebook post.
He was not in a dumpster that was dumped into the truck. EPD said the man climbed the ladder on the side of the truck and jumped in.
The man would not tell officers his name or why he jumped into the truck.
The Enid Fire Department was called to assist since the back of the truck could not be opened without crushing him.
A ladder was placed into the truck and he was freed for a short amount of time before being arrested and placed in a patrol car.
The nameless man is booked on complaints of public intoxication and obstruction along with bringing contraband into the jail after marijuana was found in his sock.
“Somewhere in all of this is a lesson to be learned about getting too trashed,” Enid Police posted.
It’s a good thing he didn’t get shitfaced.
Hitler of the Week
Man who claimed to be possessed by demons and Hitler sentenced for killing mom
An Allen County judge on Friday sentenced a Fort Wayne man for voluntary manslaughter who court documents say called his dad back in 2018 to say he had hurt his mother.
Joy Steiss was found unconscious in her Stanford Avenue home on October 24, 2018 by police after receiving a 911 call from the father. She died a short time later and an autopsy determined the death was caused by strangulation.
Jason Steiss received a 15 year prison sentence with 12 years suspended. Because he has already served 877 days in jail, the actual jail time could work out to less than a year followed by probation.
Court documents indicated Steiss told police he was possessed by demons and Hitler after they arrived at his mother’s home.
As part of the sentencing Steiss will undergo psychological evaluation and treatment with hospitalization as recommended.
3 years in jail for killing his mom? Talk about Nazi privilege.
WTFer? of the Week
Kent woman charged in Louisiana, accused of having sex with priest in church
A former priest and two women accused of having sex on a church altar have been charged with institutional vandalism.
District Attorney Warren Montgomery says 37-year-old Travis Jhon Clark, 41-year-old Mindy Lynn Dixon, of Kent, and 28-year-old Melissa Kamon Cheng, of Alpharetta, Georgia, were charged Thursday.
Court documents claim Clark was caught videotaping himself having sex with two dominatrices on the altar of Pearl River church in Louisiana.
According to the police, Clark, Cheng and Dixon were originally arrested for obscenity because their sex acts had been visible from the street.
However, prosecutors ultimately charged the trio with the lesser count of institutional vandalism.
Archbishop Gregory Aymond announced on Oct. 1 that Clark had been working in St. Tammany Parish and had been removed from the ministry.
“His obscene behavior was deplorable,” Aymond told 4WWL in New Orleans. “His desecration of the altar in Church was demonic. I am infuriated by his actions. When the details became clear, we had the altar removed and burned.”
Pearl necklace at the Pearl River church.
