The biggest WTF? this week was Democrats moving to cement their power forever with a bill to pack the Supreme Court with liberal Justices. Here’s some WTF? moving in the opposite direction as people tried to secure a permanent lack of power by packing their lives with stupidity:
Headline of the Week
Bitche slapped with Facebook ban
Benoît Kieffer, mayor of Ville de Bitche, said they received a message from the social media giant after the page was pulled on March 19.
‘At first, you wonder, was there a technical problem?’ he told CNN. ‘However, with the length of time, it can be considered a real censorship.’
Bitche’s official page was restored by Facebook on Tuesday, who said it had been ‘removed in error’.
But the row is likely to lead to headaches for the French towns of Arse Stream, Anus, Condom, and Pussy, who risk being cancelled by the Facebook algorithms.
The village of Anus is in the Burgundy wine region of France, while the town of Pussy is close to the Italian border.
Condom once tried to twin itself with a town in the UK, but failed as nobody wanted to be linked with it.
Bitche, which has a population of just 5,000, is situated in an eastern area of France called Pays de Bitche, which means Bitch country.
I had an ex-girlfriend from Bitch Country. She was actually pretty nice but I had to break it off because she refused to let me visit the Village of Anus.
Creamer of the Week
Drunk Men Inject Penises With Cream After Watching YouTube Enlargement Video
Two men who got drunk and injected their penises with cream in the hope it would make their genitals bigger were instead left with painful swelling, according to the doctors who treated them.
The unnamed men—aged 30 and 32 years old, respectively—were drinking and discussing how they wished they had bigger penises. They then searched on YouTube for tutorials on how to achieve this.
The friends subsequently injected each other’s penises in a number of areas with an entire 30g tube of anti-hematoma cream…
Over the course of the night, the men’s penises gradually became more painful and swollen. Hours after injecting the cream, the pair visited a hospital’s emergency dermatology department in the French city of Strasbourg. The pair were suffering from a condition known as penile edema, where the organ swells.
Doctors examined the men and found they had what were described as “enlarged oedematous penises,” where excess fluid builds up in an area. The doctors also discovered the sites where the men had injected their genitals. The penises were “firm and painful” to the touch, according to the medics.
The team advised the men to rest, take painkillers and come back for a follow-up appointment. Unfortunately, the doctors wrote, the men did not return.
A) It worked. B) Why is there an emergency dermatology department? C) It’s better to expel cream from your penis.
Grocer Grosser of the Week
Sex offender charged with exposing himself to kids at Berkeley park
A habitual sex offender has been charged with indecent exposure and annoying a child after he showed his genitals to three children at an Elmwood park earlier this month, Berkeley police report.
On the day of the incident, April 1 at about 2 p.m., a parent had noticed the man with his genitals exposed at Bateman Mall Park, just south of Alta Bates Hospital, police said in response to a Berkeleyside inquiry: “When a parent confronted the man, the man told them that it wasn’t illegal,” police said, then ran over to three children, ages 5 and 6, and “deliberately exposed his genitals” to them within just a foot or two.
The man then ran away, said BPD spokesperson Officer Byron White, but a witness was able to take his photograph and share it with police. Berkeley sex crimes detectives identified the man as 63-year-old sex offender Herbert Blue and sought a warrant for his arrest. Within a week, detectives had tracked down Blue and taken him into custody at his elaborate tent camp near Tunnel Road and Highway 13, police said.
According to court papers, one parent who witnessed the incident told police it was “super disturbing” and that Blue’s behavior was sexually motivated: “He was definitely not urinating,” she said. One of the children said he had never seen a grown man’s penis before, adding: “It was gross.”
That guy’s dick is gross? Who could have imagined?
Spew of the Week
‘Vaccinate to ejaculate’ – Study says COVID can weaken penis
The risk of erectile dysfunction (ED) is said to be six times higher in men who had COVID-19, a recent study that looked at the association between ED and the virus has found.
The research was led by Emmanuele A. Jannini, MD, professor of endocrinology and medical sexology, University of Rome Tor Vergata, Rome, Italy. It said that ED, which is the inability to get or keep an erection firm enough to have sexual intercourse, can be both a short-term and a long-term complication of COVID-19.
The study, which has been tagged ‘Vaccinate so you can ejaculate’, has been making its way around social media. Health Minister Dr Christopher Tufton has attached a smiley face emoji to a tweet in which he was tagged.
More than 42,700 cases of COVID-19 have been confirmed in Jamaica thus far, with 18,800-plus of them being males. To combat the disease, which has claimed 676 lives as of Monday, the government is trying to immunise at least 65 per cent of the population by next March.
It is unclear whether the fear of losing strength in their manhood has resulted in Jamaican males lining up to get vaccinated.
The next campaign will tell Jamaicans that COVID-19 makes it impossible to smoke ganja.
Village Person of the Week
Villager accused of masturbating in public hopes judge will toss out case
A Villager who allegedly exposed his genitals while masturbating in a public place is hoping a judge will dismiss the case against him.
The Village of Orange Blossom Gardens resident is facing a charge of indecent exposure in connection with a July 27 incident at an office at the Oakland Hills Professional Center where he disrobed from the waist down while wearing an orange polo shirt and sandals, according to an arrest report from the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office. While standing at the door of the office, exposing his genitals, he began to masturbate. A Ring doorbell sent a “Back Door Motion” alert to a the business owner’s cell phone. She logged in and saw a man masturbating in real time.
Yagle later told deputies he was “just looking for privacy” when he went to Oakland Hills Professional Center. At the time of the alleged incident, he was living with his 90-year-old mother who has since passed away.
Yagle’s attorney argues that based on his client’s sworn testimony, Yagle “never intended his actions, which he thought were private, to be vulgar, indecent, lewd or lascivious,” according to a document on file with the court. All four are considered “essential elements” to the crime.
The prosecutor’s office rejects this argument and is urging the judge to rule against the motion to dismiss the case.
“Ring camera surveillance video from the victim’s business depicts the defendant taking his shorts completely off. A view of the surveillance video show the defendant’s male genitalia, otherwise known as his penis,” the prosecutor’s office wrote in response to the motion to dismiss.
A.K.A. his penis.
Thanks of the Week
Pants to thank for Derby man spotting testicular cancer early
A Derby man has poured praise on his pants after claiming his boxers were so comfortable they helped him spot his testicular cancer early.
Luke Jordan had the shock of his life two years ago when he checked himself out, having been alerted to some discomfort in his testicles.
The 29-year-old knew something was wrong.
A few days later, he was at the doctors, and seven days after first spotting discomfort he was being treated for testicular cancer, in surgery, having one testicle removed and receiving chemotherapy.
Luke credits the underwear brand, JustWears, with helping him spot the disease early on.
He said: “I think it was wearing something that literally felt like a second skin – totally different to any other pants I’ve worn before – that drew attention to the fact a few weeks later, that something wasn’t quite right down below.
The pants are described as “five times softer than cotton” and “help to relieve discomfort and reduce sweat”.
The company also makes dungarees that help you spot rectal cancer.
Dance of the Week
Eunuchs chop off genitals of young man who went with them for dancing at wedding events
In a shocking incident, a 24-year-old man’s penis was allegedly chopped off by two eunuchs in Uttar Pradesh. The victim’s sister registered a complaint at Delhi Gate police station, following which a case was registered and an investigation was initiated.
The victim used to go with the two eunuchs – identified as Guddi and Rajji – to dance at wedding functions. He left with them on Wednesday. He was found injured on the road on Thursday. He informed his sister that Guddi and Rajji had cut off his genitals. His sister then lodged a police complaint against the accused duo, according to a report by The Times of India.
SHO Ashish Kumar Singh of Delhi Gate police station told TOI that the accused have been booked under Sections 326 (voluntarily causing grievous hurt) of the Indian Penal Code, and investigations are underway. The police have picked up several people for interrogation but no arrest has been recorded so far. The victim was shifted to a hospital for treatment.
Correction: That should have read “penile code.”
Mutant of the Week
Lamb with FIVE legs named ‘Jake the Peg’ born on Scots farm in ‘one-in-a-million’ birth
Farmer George Wilson, 76, was stunned when one of his ewes gave birth to the deformed sheep.
George told how in 60 years of lambing at his farm in Huntly, Aberdeenshire he has never seen anything like this before.
Despite the extra limb “swinging like a pendulum” between the sheep’s front legs, the animal is perfectly healthy.
George added that the extra leg is making the lamb even harder to catch – and said it’s a miracle of nature.
He said: “My son was lambing it and he could feel the three feet and he thought it was obviously the second lamb.
“But then he said to me: There’s something wrong here’. I thought he was winding me up.
“Out this wee lamb came and I thought that it would probably die or something, but nope – up it got and went running about.”
He added: “It’s like a hanging pendulum and it’s not doing anything but it is a fully formed leg.”
George has seen a number of bizarre mutations on the farm in the past, including lambs with “double testicles”, but it’s the first time he’s seen an extra leg.
He said: “I started lambing sheep when I was about 16 and I’ve been working with sheep most of my life but I’ve never seen anything like this.
“I’ve seen bits of things, some born with no bottoms or maybe double testicles, but never an extra leg. It’s just one of these things that happens now and again.
Maybe the mutations are because he doesn’t know the difference between “I love you” and “I love ewe.”
Teste of the Week
Alicia Roth Weigel, 30, from Austin, Texas, spent most of her life hiding the fact that she had been born with a vagina and testes but no uterus or ovaries and used to pretend to have her period to fit in at school.
‘When I had boyfriends, I told them I had fertility issues so I couldn’t have children,’ she said. ‘What kind of man would want to date a woman who was born with internal testes?’
Alicia, who had her testes removed in infancy, explained she had ‘no idea’ there was a term to describe being intersex, which is used to describe anyone born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that are not distinctly ‘male’ or ‘female’, until she read an article aged 27.
Today Alicia said she does not identify as a man or a woman despite looking like a woman.
Her parents took the decision to have her testes removed when she was a baby.
She said: ‘Essentially they castrated me. When you take away someone’s testes without their consent, it is castration.’
Alicia said that, while she presents as a woman, she also identifies as non-binary.
She added: ‘I use both she and they pronouns. I was never given the choice on how to identify.
‘One day we won’t even know gender. We won’t have these male and female and non-binary boxes. It’s all about thinking beyond the box.’
Despite having her nuts removed from her box she’s still completely nuts.
Squirt of the Week
Bizarre Video Shows Woman Spraying Her Breast Milk Around At Festival
The clip, filmed by a man called Eric Falconi, shows a woman in what looks to be a black one-piece swimming costume or leotard, along with a cap, sunglasses and some red boots.
She dances around before suddenly whipping out her boob and starts spraying milk all over the place.
She then carries on twerking and dancing before one festival-goer appears and crouches near her in an attempt to catch some of the milk in her mouth.
In the background people can be heard reacting in shock, with one person shouting: “Oh s***. Jesus Christ!” while others laugh or cheer her on
You can also hear quite a few people saying ‘oh God’, which is probably a pretty reasonable reaction.
Most people couldn’t seem to quite believe what they were seeing, with one person saying: “Okay but how does she produce so much milk?”
Inevitably, a bunch of people couldn’t wait to condemn the woman, chipping in to say “I assume she just had a baby and that milk is being dispensed to the public instead of her child.”
Another added: “breast milk is like f****** gold and she’s just squirting [it] out like it’s water?”
But others defended her, arguing that ‘breast milk is no big deal’, to which someone pointed out: “The breast milk is not a big deal, her squirting it like a Super Soaker is.”
Who was playing? Juice Newton?
Joe of the Week
Garbage bag full of feces left in Hayden woman’s front yard, Biden flag ripped down
The Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office is investigating a case of vandalism against an 82-year-old Hayden woman that involves a garbage bag full of feces…
The brown smear on Gloria Wurm’s lawn still gave off the scent of manure on Wednesday morning outside her Sally Street home. The Hayden resident for the last 17 years said the motives behind the smear were as plain as day.
“This is a hate crime,” she said.
Wurm said she looked outside her window Tuesday morning to see a black outdoor garbage bag sitting in the middle of her lawn, a curiosity she couldn’t understand.
“I thought, ‘Well, maybe the yard guy had come,’” she said. “But he always takes the garbage with him when he leaves, so maybe he was going to come back and do more.”
Wurm said she went out in her pajamas that morning to discover the bag was not, in fact, full of lawn clippings. Rather, someone had left a Hefty Bag-sized pile of feces on her front yard. That bag had been dumped open, with maggot-infested spillage seeping out onto the grass.
Wurm labeled the incident a hate crime because of what she calls a telling symptom of the problems plaguing North Idaho. The manure was only half of the issue: Someone had also ripped down a flag she kept on her front porch in support of President Joe Biden.
Relax, lady. We’ve all been shit on since Biden stole the White House.
Collar of the Week
Edgewater Man Covers his Hands in his own Feces After Traffic Stop in Calvert County
The deputy observed a silver 2005 Toyota passenger car traveling Northbound at a high rate of speed, run a red light at the intersection. The deputy immediately activated his emergency lights and stopped the vehicle…
As the deputy pulled up, the driver had already had his driver’s door opened and his driver’s license and registration in his hand. The deputy made contact with the driver who was identified as Adam Paul Sohovich, 30, of Edgewater.
When police asked Sohovich how he was doing, he replied he was doing fantastic, and when asked what happened, Sohovich replied, “You have what you need, get the f##k away from me.” Sohovich told the deputy “You have what you need, you can get away from me and write me my f##king ticket.”
The deputy immediately notified the Calvert Control Center to start additional units. The deputy then asked Sohovich what was wrong with him, and he replied, “I hate police for starts. You have what you need, get away from me.” The deputy asked Sohovich if he knew why he was stopped and he replied, “For fu##ing speeding and running a red light”.
When the deputy asked why he did it, Sohovich replied, “I wanted too, because I saw you at the light.” Sohovich then told the deputy “Well what I would love to do is slit your f##king throat, but I’m not going to do that.”
At that point the deputy ordered Sohovich to step out of the car several times, but Sohovich refused. The officer then grabbed Sohovich’s left wrist and continued to order him out, and he continued to resist. Sohovich then said to the deputy, “I will fu##ing run into you like I did every other cop.”
…Sohovich then said, “Here, you want me to get out of the f##king car.” Sohovich then exited the vehicle in a very aggressive manor. The deputy stepped back and drew their agency issued taser, and ordered Sohovich to turn around and put his hands on the car, but Sohovich refused to comply.
Sohovich then went to get back in the driver seat of the car, and reached down on the driver’s floorboard of the car. When Sohovich stood up, he displayed a folding knife, fully extended with the knife blade showing, and then said, “You want me out of the car?” while pointing the knife toward the deputy. At that time, the officer deployed the taser, striking Sohovich in the upper torso. As Sohovich was falling down into the seat as a result of the taser deployment, Sohovich was able to throw the knife at the deputy. The knife struck the deputy, but did not penetrate or cut them. Sohovich was removed from the car and placed on the ground.
Sohovich was placed in handcuffs and advised he was under arrest. An ambulance was dispatched to check on him. Sohovich refused all medical attention, and while sitting on the ground, Sohovich soiled himself and started putting his hands in the back of his shorts, covering his hands in feces.
This is how not to get out of a ticket.
Good Boy of the Week
This Robot ‘Urinates’ Beer on Command
People often come up with creative uses of technology. As proof, YouTuber Michael Reeves discovered that the robot dog Spot, from the Boston Dynamics company, could be programmed to urinate beer when ordered.
On his YouTube channel, Reeves shared a video where he shows how he turns the four-legged robot Spot into the best partying partner.
With a quick code, the YouTuber managed to get Spot to identify a glass placed on the floor, position himself on it and shoot jets of beer into the glass.
Reeves clarifies in the video that the robot’s latest skill still needs work. “The ‘piss bot’ is working perfectly, 35 percent of the time,” he says in the clip.
After a 12-pack I’m about 35% in hitting the toilet so that’s within the acceptable perimeters.
Hay Maker of the Week
Man arrested on bestiality charges after horses assaulted in stables
A man has been arrested after San Antonio police say he sexually assaulted two horses on separate occasions.
Jean Marie Bugoma, 24, was charged with two counts of bestiality, a state felony, according to records with the Bexar County Jail.
An arrest warrant affidavit states that on Feb. 14, San Antonio police and the owner of the horse stables caught Bugoma at the location.
He fit the description of a man seen on surveillance footage walking around naked through the horse stables on June 22, according to SAPD.
In that incident, the owner noticed items out of place, a horse was out of its stall and two horses had sustained injuries. A veterinarian was called and determined that the horses were sexually and physically assaulted.
DNA was taken from one of the horses and from the stalls, police said.
A similar incident occurred on Jan. 7, when multiple horses were found “hobbled,” meaning their legs were tied together, and the suspect again committed bestiality, the affidavit states.
After Bugoma was found at the stables in February, a search warrant was obtained for his DNA, resulting in a match from the initial incident, according to police.
The affidavit adds that the horses could have also been possibly assaulted with an “unknown object.”
Chances are that hobbling and assault by unknown objects is in this dude’s future. when he goes to prison as a horse f*cker.
Mug of the Week
Florida Man Charged In Fatal Jersey City Parking Lot Shooting
A wanted man was arrested in Florida and charged with murder following the February fatal shooting of a Jersey City man in a BJ’s parking lot.
Ariel Dumit, 35, of New Port Richey, FL was charged with the murder of Christian Parra, 34, and is awaiting extradition back to New Jersey, according to the Hudson County Prosecutor’s Office.
On Feb. 28 police were called to the BJ’s parking lot on Marin Boulevard for reports of a shooting. When they got to the parking lot they found Parra with gunshot wounds to his torso — he was rushed to the hospital where he died, according to the prosecutor’s office. The Regional Medical Examiner’s Office determined the cause of death to be a gunshot wound to the torso and the manner of death to be homicide.
Dumit was arrested in Florida by the U.S. Marshals Fugitive Task Force Central District of Florida with the assistance of the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.
It was self-defense. Parra stole Dumit’s eyebrows.
Shoppers of the Week
Two women tried to spend $1 million bill at Tennessee Dollar General store
Two women were caught trying to spend a fake $1 million bill at a Tennessee Dollar General store earlier this month…
An employee of the discount store in Maryville reported April 5 that the women tried to use the counterfeit fortune to purchase several gift cards.
Blount County Sheriff’s deputies responded around 10:00 a.m. and spoke with one of the suspects, Amanda McCormick, who said she “received the one million dollar bill in the mail from a church, but could not provide the church information,” according to an incident report…McCormick claimed she was using the money to buy care packages for people experiencing homelessness.
The other woman involved in the incident told investigators that she had no idea McCormick had the phony bill and was only riding along while McCormick did errands.
The women were ordered not to return to the Dollar General and were released without charges. Deputies took the bill as evidence.
Bringin’ a million dollar bill to the dollar store, y’all.
WTF? of the Week
Perverted patriarch of the family Tim Colt ran an “incest” farm in the Australian Outback where he raped his daughters with his sons and fathered their children.
Colt allegedly had sex with three of his daughters – known as Rhonda, Betty, and Martha – and impregnated them.
The disgusting details of the “world’s most inbred family” have been revealed after a gag order on their gruesome trial ceased.
Few of the youngsters went to school – but the lid was blown off the twisted cult when one of the teen daughters who did attend class told a pal: “My sister is pregnant and we don’t know which of my brothers is the father”.
Tim Colt also allegedly parented his daughter Betty’s 13 children, four of Rhonda’s offspring, and even his granddaughter Raylene’s child, Kimberly.
Betty and Rhonda’s sister Martha, who openly shared a “marital bed” with her brother Charlie Colt, gave birth to five children.
Martha gave birth to three sons and three daughters, one of whom died, between 1988 and 2006.
She claimed the kids were the product of five casual encounters…
DNA testing would reveal all four women had children whose fathers were the mothers’ own father or brother, or a half brother, uncle, nephew or grandfather.
Imagine the confusion on Father’s Day for these inbreds.
