Last October, CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin was on a Zoom call when he decided to whip out his penis and masturbate. This cost him his job at The New Yorker, but CNN has much lower standards so they welcomed him back on Thursday. Meanwhile, CNN stooge Jim Acosta marked the occasion by accusing Fox News of running a “bullshit factory.” Presumably he forgot where he works.
Alysin Camerota had the pleasure of welcoming Toobin back with open arms, though she did decline to shake his hand:
Jeffrey Toobin has returned to CNN for the first time since being fired from the New Yorker for masturbating on a Zoom call with his colleagues pic.twitter.com/6ZzBqFDeEo
— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) June 10, 2021
“In October, you were on a Zoom call with your colleagues from the New Yorkermagazine. Everyone took a break for several minutes, during which time you were caught masturbating on camera. You were subsequently fired from that job, after 27 years of working there. And you, since then, have been on leave from CNN. Do I have all that right?” Camerota asked.
“You got it all right, sad to say,” Toobin said.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Camerota asked.
“Well, obviously I wasn’t think very well or very much,” replied Toobin.
The mood was very light and all was forgiven because Toobin has made amends in the eyes of fake news CNN:
“I have spent the seven subsequent months, miserable months in my life I can certainly confess, trying to be a better person. I’m in therapy, trying to do some public service, working in a food bank, which I’m certainly going to continue to do,” said Toobin.
There you have it: get caught jacking off on a Zoom call, fix it by working at a food bank. Hopefully he washes his hands before handling the food.
One big question people may have is: Are there no other lawyers who can appear on TV to lie about shit and self-promote? Seriously, CNN didn’t get one email from viewers demanding they bring Toobin back and there are literally thousands of lawyers who would love to whore themselves on the network. Why the hell did they bring him back?
Whatever the answer is, “Creepy pro lawyer” Michael Avenatti is encouraged that CNN will bring him back too after he serves his prison sentence.
On the same day that CNN announced they aren’t even pretending to have journalistic standards, the network’s joke anchor, Jim Acosta was on a podcast attacking the credibility of Fox News:
Acosta gave Fox credit for prematurely calling Arizona for Biden in the 2020 election but says since then they’ve reverted to “more Trumpian” programming.
“What they’ve decided to do since [the election] is double down on being what I call the bullshit factory. They churn out segments that gin up outrage that they know is going to piss off their viewers and so on — even if it’s cockamamy made up nonsense. And they do it for the simple reason of attracting viewers, and ginning up the ratings,” said Acosta.
Has he ever watched CNN? I guess not because his network has been engaged in the biggest disinformation campaign since Joesph Goebbles. It’s been a non-stop parade of fake news democratic party propaganda since Trump won the 2016 election.
Acosta’s bitterness comes through clearly here as he complains that Fox attracts viewers and has high ratings, unlike CNN. If “cockamamy made up nonsense” was a ratings-driver, CNN would be the most watched channel in the world, instead of the basic cable embarrassment that they are.
Acosta claiming Fox is a “bullshit factory” at the same time CNN brought back public masturbator Jeffrey Toobin, sums up exactly what a clown network he works for.
