WTF? alert! Democrats who cried about the rule of law under Trump are applauding Joe Biden for openly violating the Constitution. Technically that’s not WTF? because democrats have no principals so here’s some WTF? that was much less predictable:
Headline of the Week
Man cuts off own genitals over lack of sex, dies
A 24-year-old man in Kamuli District has died after he allegedly cut off his own genitals after accusing his wife of committing adultery and denying him sex.
Charles Wamboga, a resident of Butanul village in Butansi Sub County in the eastern Uganda district bled to death after using a machete to cut off his genitals following a disagreement with his wife over sex on Tuesday night.
The area LC Chairman, Mr Joseph Isabirye said Wamboga first took poison in attempt to commit suicide on grounds that he could not stand a cheating wife.
He said Wambogo had suspected that his wife of two years, Ms Doreen Nankwanga was cheating on him with his brother while starving him.
“Wamboga told me earlier that his wife had failed to conceive and that she was starving him.He said he was surprised when she told him that his brother had attributed the problem (failure to conceive) to him (Wamboga),” Mr Isabirye said.
Without going into details, Ms Nankwanga, however, said she saw Wamboga sharpening the machete and when he ordered her to enter the house, she ran off.
“I ran to my father’s home in Kasambira Town council. I was shocked when I heard he had cut himself and died,” she said.
“Can’t get laid so he chopped off his dong” was not a well laid plan.
Warning of the Week
Town Urging Visitors to Stay Away from Dildo Sign
The Dildo sign has become a popular tourist attraction ever since it was erected two years ago by talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, but the local service district that governs the area is once again urging people not to get too close.
In a post to Facebook, the town outlines two main reasons why people shouldn’t try to hike to the sign. The first has to do with safety. They say it is located on a rocky cliff where hiking is too dangerous. As well, it is located on private property, and no matter which way people try to approach it they will be trespassing.
Local Service District representative Andrew Pretty is urging people to think twice about trying to get to the sign.
Pretty says for everyone’s privacy and safety to enjoy the sign from a distance.
Jimmy Kimmel is a dildo.
Blowholes of the Week
Two Colombian women have been caught smuggling cocaine hidden in their genitals after they were spotted ‘walking strangely.’
The pair were caught at the Rafael Nunez International Airport in the city of Cartagena trying to board a flight to the Caribbean island of San Andres.
They had 1,000 doses of cocaine and 60 pills of benzodiazepines which were wrapped in latex-coated cylinders and inserted in their vaginas, the police said.
Police said the women appeared nervous and made ‘strange movements’ which gave them away just minutes before they boarded the flight.
According to the authorities, the two women were immediately taken to a police station where they both voluntarily removed the packages from their genitals.
There’s something fishy about this coke.
Harvester of the Week
Alleged Occultists Gangrape, Murder Woman, 50, Sever Her Eyes, Genitals For Ritual Purposes
A 50-year-old woman was allegedly gang-raped by occultists before they proceeded to kill her with a machete and sever her eyes and genitals for ritual purposes in Nigeria.
The victim, identified as Patience Komore, fondly called Pat by her friends, was allegedly stabbed with a machete before she was brutally gang-raped and robbed of some 40,000 Nigerian naira (US$97). The assailants and suspected ritualists reportedly proceeded to gouge her eyes and sever genitals for ceremonial purposes. The horrifying crime reportedly happened at the Umeh community of the Isoko South Local Government Area (LGA), Delta State, Nigeria.
The woman’s decomposing remains would later be recovered from a wooded lot in the community on Tuesday, Aug. 3…
On Aug. 3, authorities arrested a 25-year-old Okada rider named Onoriode Simon Akpoavirhi in connection with the murder. The Okada rider was reportedly the same person who ferried the woman on the day she disappeared.
When he was interrogated by the detectives, he reportedly confessed to killing the woman with the help of another suspect named Akpoghene Shoemaker. He also admitted to raping the victim and robbing her before bludgeoning her to death with a machete. An agreement with an alleged occultist, a certain “Lucky Daniel” of Ohoro town, reportedly compelled the two to harvest certain organs from the victim’s body in exchange for 100,000 Nigerian naira (US$242) after the bloody murder…
Planned Parenthood sells harvested body parts from people they kill too.
Wood Carving of the Week
Pictures: the VERY rude Hereford church carving that’s gone viral
FOR years it was hidden among the rafters, unseen by the congregation… but now a picture of a VERY naughty carving in a Hereford church has gone viral.
First appearing on social media site Reddit, the lewd carving of a man holding up his legs and exposing his genitalia became one of the sites most popular posts and has now been shared by thousands of people across platforms including Twitter and Facebook, and the picture of it (and claims as to its history) has even been ‘fact checked’ by misinformation-busting site, Snopes.
The carving first became visible to the public in the late 1990s, when food writer and restaurateur Bill Sewell opened his popular cafe at All Saints, with a seating gallery built over the cafe’s kitchen.
Nicknamed Seamus O’Toole, the figure soon divided opinion, with the Birmingham Mail reporting in 1998 that one enterprising vicar, Father Andrew Mottram, suggested monetising the figure by selling postcards featuring its image.
The figure, likely carved in the 15th century, perhaps by a disgruntled carpenter, remains visible to customers at the cafe to this day, lit up by a spotlight, although many may be unaware of its presence, just six feet above their heads.
All Saints? More like All Taints.
Pit of the Week
Woman produces breast milk from armpit after giving birth
A 26-year-old woman in Portugal started to lactate from her armpit, according to a new study published in The New England Journal of Medicine.
The woman told her doctors that she developed pain in her right armpit just two days after giving birth. When the doctors examined, they found a round mass in her armpit, which “released a white discharge when pressed”. They realised that this discharge was breastmilk.
The medics from Hospital de Santa Maria in Lisbon, Portugal, diagnosed the woman with polymastia, “a condition in which accessory breast tissue develops along the former embryonic mammary ridge”.
As per a 1999 paper published in the journal Mayo Clinic Proceedings, up to six per cent of women are born with such “accessory” breast tissue. The extra breast tissue includes a nipple or areola (the pigmented area surrounding the nipple) in some cases, while in other people, the breast tissue alone is present, without nipples or areola.
The condition happens during fetal development when the cells that become mammary glands are forming a line from the armpit to the groin on either side of the body. Usually this “mammary ridge” or “milk line” disappears as the foetus grows, except at the sites for the breasts. However, sometimes this does not happen and the “milk line” remains and additional breast tissue forms at these sites in the body. The most common location of the accessory breast tissue is the armpit.
Tit pit.
Hangers of the Week
Woman with 34HH bust flabbergasted as doctor tells her not to get ‘lovely breasts’ reduced
Victoria Gilbert, 28, went to the GP in March last year because her 34HH boobs were causing chronic back pain and red welts on her skin. She claims a ‘disappointed’ female doctor told her not to have the operation to reduce her eight pound breasts as they are ‘lovely’, and many would pay for a big bust like hers.
Ms Gilbert, from Brentford, West London, said: “I’d made a comment along the lines of ‘I don’t like my boobs, they’re just a bit too big’ and that’s when she looked at me and she said ‘but they’re lovely, people would pay thousands [for them], I know women that have paid thousands to have breasts like yours. Don’t get a reduction’.
“There’s a tone in women’s voices where it’s like ‘oh I’m just trying to make you feel better’ but it wasn’t that. It was very serious, almost like she was disappointed that I was thinking of making them smaller.”
Ms Gilbert says she was surprised to hear the comment from a professional woman, and it made her feel “really angry and hurt”.
I’m assuming “lovely” means something entirely different in England.
Distributor of the Week
Woman arrested for possession of meth was caught riding bike stolen from child
The Berkeley County Sheriff’s Department (BCSO) on Friday announced the arrest of Amanda West after she was spotted riding a bike that was recently reported stolen.
Deputies spotted West riding the bike and approached her, but when they made contact she “dropped and attempted to discard a black bag that she was holding.”
Inside the bag was a glass smoking pipe and 2.5 grams of a crystal-like substance that field tested positive for methamphetamine.
West was charged with possession with intent to distribute methamphetamine and receiving stolen goods, as she said that a friend bought the bike for her.
The bike was returned to the child that reported it stolen.
I’m going to make a killing selling meth but first I need to steal a kid’s bike.
Record of the Week
‘Highly intoxicated’ driver may hold a DUI record
An Oregon man who allegedly had a .778 blood alcohol level when he led police on a very short chase that ended in a one-car crash has been identified as 28-year-old Nathan Danzuka, according to a police report posted to the Smoking Gun.
The Warm Springs Tribal Police Department reports that it began pursuing Danzuka on tribal property after being notified by local police of a white SUV involved in a “hit and run” at a service station. When tribal police pulled the allegedly intoxicated motorist over, they report spotting alcohol containers in his Ford Explorer. Rather than following officers’ recommendation to exit his vehicle, Danzuka is accused of leading police on a half-mile chase that ended with him hitting a concrete barrier.
Danzuka was taken to a medical center for an evaluation following the collision.
His blood alcohol level was said to be more than nine times the legal limit. According to the Smoking Gun, the highest BACs reported include .72, blown by an Oregon woman in 2007 and a .708 recorded in 2009 by a South Dakota woman.
Too bad drunk driving isn’t an Olympic event because this guy would have brought home the gold.
Roommate of the Week
US man ‘lived with girlfriend’s mutilated corpse for seven months’
A 37-year-old suburban US man who lived with his girlfriend’s mutilated corpse for more than seven months has been charged in her slaying, prosecutors say.
Matthew Lewinski, from Detroit, is jailed on first-degree murder, disinterment and mutilation of a body, and concealing the death of an individual charges, the Macomb County prosecutor’s office said in a news release.
The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens identified the victim as Jerri Winters and said Mr Lewinski was arraigned today in Clinton Township District Court.
The woman’s body was discovered in the basement of the home in Clinton Township last week.
Prosecutors said she was killed at the house in December and that her body had been moved to the basement.
They did not explain how she was killed, or how they know when she died and that her body had been moved.
The prosecutor’s office also said large portions of flesh appeared to have been removed from her back, but did not elaborate.
Come on, you can elaborate a little bit.
Cracker of the Week
Five parrots separated at UK zoo after encouraging each other to swear at guests
A UK wildlife sanctuary has been forced to separate five naughty parrots after they wouldn’t stop swearing at visitors.
Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie were removed from public viewing this week due to their inappropriate behaviour.
The parrots are part of Lincolnshire Wildlife Centre’s colony of 200 African grey parrots and were put in quarantine together upon arrival.
But they quickly overwhelmed the staff with their naughty language.
“We are quite used to parrots swearing, but we’ve never had five at the same time,” the centre’s chief executive, Steve Nichols, told AP.
“Most parrots clam up outside, but for some reason these five relish it.”
Rather than being offended, most zoo visitors found the foul-mouthed parrots amusing, with the sanctuary confirming no complaints had been made.
“When a parrot tells you to ‘f*** off’ it amuses people very highly,” Nicholls said.
I don’t take shit from nobody, let alone a parrot.
Mike Tyson of the Week
Florida man accused of biting off part of man’s ear at hotel
A man from Port St. Lucie, Florida is accused of biting off part of a man’s ear in the Florida Keys.
The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office arrested 45-year-old James Lenn Williams on Thursday.
Investigators said Williams was with a group of friends on vacation. While at a marina, a woman passed out and Williams put her in a wheelbarrow to carry her back to the hotel room.
Witnesses said Williams dumped beer on the woman and insulted her. Things started to escalate when a friend intervened.
As others jumped in to help calm Williams down, investigators said he pushed a woman to the ground. That started a scuffle and Williams pushed another woman to the ground.
Deputies aid Williams pushed the victim to the ground and began choking him. The victim said Williams bit part of his ear off as others tried to separate the two.
Williams faces charges of aggravated battery, battery by strangulation and battery.
I’m sure there’s some kind of joke about his preliminary hearing in here.
Protest of the Week
Priest sews his mouth shut over ‘muting of climate science by Murdoch media’
A priest has sewn his lips together to protest against the “suppression” of climate science in Rupert Murdoch’s media outlets.
Reverend Tim Hewes, 71, carried out the symbolic act outside News UK’s office in Central London yesterday. It’s home to the UK arm of Murdoch’s global news empire, News Corps.
In a video released on YouTube, Hewes calls Murdoch a “climate change denier, dissembler and delayer” and says the media mogul has influence over governments which has led to a lack of meaningful action on the climate crisis.
Hewes says “sewing up the lips is an act of desperation” done by those who are “unspeakably frustrated” that they are not being heard.
“There are countless people throughout the world who are voiceless and suffering because of the climate emergency,” explains Hewes. “Climate science and truth has been muted, and those who suffer are not being heard. Rupert Murdoch did this. He muted climate science as certainly as if he’d sewn up its lips himself.
“‘I’m sewing up my lips to demonstrate the terrible and violent havoc Murdoch’s actions have wreaked upon the world and to symbolically make visible this truth,” he adds.
He’s pretty vocal for a guy who sewed his mouth shut.
Messiah of the Week
Man claiming to be Jesus stabs 3 in home near Pittsburgh
A man claiming to be Jesus stabbed three people an apartment on Monday and hid until he was taken into custody by Pittsburgh police.
The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports the man is being charged with three counts of attempted homicide and aggravated assault.
One of the injured victims told officers he offered the suspect a place to stay at the apartment in Carrick because he was homeless.
He said in the early morning they were talking until the suspect said he was Jesus and began stabbing people.
The suspect was taken into custody and it was not immediately clear that he has an attorney to represent him.
They suspected he was lying when he couldn’t turn water into Night Train.
WTF? of the Week
Vlogger Chris Chan arrested for alleged incest with mom suffering from dementia
A controversial vlogger has been arrested in Virginia for incest — after audio was leaked online of her allegedly confessing to regular sex with her dementia-ridden mom, according to reports.
Comic character creator Christine Weston Chandler, known online as Chris Chan, was busted in Richmond on Sunday and later transferred to Central Virginia Regional Jail, where she is being held without bail, officials confirmed to The Post.
Greene County Sheriff’s Office confirmed in a Facebook post that Chandler was charged with one count of incest, calling Chandler “he” despite the trans vlogger’s preferred pronouns.
The arrest came after a taped phone call was leaked allegedly catching Chandler confessing to having sex with her 79-year-old mother, whom she repeatedly featured in her online postings and has revealed suffers from dementia…
Calling it “incest fan” fiction come true, the person on the tape who is alleged to be Chandler said that her mom “made the first move,” admitting she was “partially confused” and “it took a few tries” to get right, the reports said.
They would go on to have sex “every third night” — but had an “open relationship,” the voice purported to be Chandler told an unidentified woman in the clip.
The audio suggested Chandler — who ABC7 said is autistic — admitted it happened when she was “very, very horny” — and that “God … said it was OK.”
When reached for comment, God denied having anything to do with a tranny banging his elderly mother with dementia.
