There’s a lot of words that come to mine when thinking of NY Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez but smart and beautiful aren’t among them. Apparently New York Magazine is trying to make Opposite Day a permanent thing because they are releasing an entire book dedicated to AOC’s intelligence and beauty. What’s next? A book praising Joe Biden’s enunciation and mental competency?
New York Magazine, which touts itself as a serious news outlet, is publishing Take Up Space: The Unprecedented AOC, a collection of essays about the dumbest person to ever hold office. This seems like a joke and the title doesn’t help make it come access as anything serious. “Taking up space” is how you would describe a useless person, which AOC is, but this is actually a book trying to make her into some kind of progressive goddess.
Sworn in at twenty-nine years old in 2018, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was the youngest member of the 118th Congress, and the youngest woman to serve in United States history. She is one of the most prominent politicians on social media, with millions of followers on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, making headlines consistently when she utilizes each platform to communicate her opinions, ideas, and progressive policies. Now, through essays and reported stories on AOC’s meteoric rise and impact written byNew York’s top-tier writers and commentators, including Rebecca Traister, Lisa Miller, Tim Shenk, David Wallace-Wells, Molly Fischer, and more, we get an in-depth look at one of the most prominent political and cultural stars in recent memory.
It gets funnier with the list of essays that will be included in this soon-to-be worst-seller:
An opening essay about AOC’s unprecedented position in American politics by Rebecca Traister
She’s part of a 5-member team of crazy people called the Squad, who are on the fringe of the democratic party. Her position is that she has absolutely no power or sway even within her own party.
A contextual look at her place in history of the American left by Tim Shenk
I already told you her place in history: she’s the dumbest person to ever hold elected office. How much more contextualized does that need to be?
Highlights of pivotal moments such as, The Campaign (by Bridget Read), The Making of the Green New Deal (by Kate Aronoff), The College Years (by Angelina Chapin), and The Dakota Access Pipeline (by Michelle Ruiz)
The Green New Deal was laughed out of Congress and the Dakota Access Pipeline is not shut down. She’s achieved nothing including passing any piece of legislation or resolution.
What the Green New Deal actually means for climate efforts by David Wallace-Wells
AOC had to scrub her own website of GND gems like blaming global warming on cow farts and building a bridge to Hawaii so the airline industry could be shutdown. That’s the impact.
An essay on the role that her beauty plays in her public perception by Rhonda Garelick
She has bug eyes, donkey teeth, and the body of a skinny 12-year-old boy. Popeye and Bluto might dig a chick like this but the rest of the world doesn’t.
Analysis of her social media greatest hits by Madison Malone Kircher
Every single one of her tweets is the same: Someone criticizes her for saying something dumb and she responds by accusing them of racism and being afraid of an empowered woman of color.
Her relationship with Puerto Rico by Andrea Gonzalez-Ramirez
If this is anything like her relationship with reality, the pages will be blank.
An essay on her rare authenticity by Molly Fischer
She grew up in a privileged suburb but passes herself off as a hood rat. The only person less authentic is Kamala Harris.
How today’s teens see her as the politician of their futures
Kids these days are pretty nihilistic so this last essay could be true. If someone thinks life is meaningless, AOC would be a good role model.
This 400-page atrocity comes out February 1 next year and will run you $28. If you can’t wait that long, set $28 on fire and hit yourself in the head with a hammer. It’ll be the exact same thing.
