New year, same WTF? The pandemic is still here, the economy still sucks, and Joe Biden is still dangerously incompetent. Here’s some new WTF? but most of it comes from last year so technically it’s the same old WTF?:
Headline of the Week
Children’s gym owner faces murder charges in bizarre rectum stabbing case
Police on Friday pressed murder charges against the owner of a children’s sports center in Seoul on charges of sticking a 70-centimeter plastic stick into the anus of an employee and causing him to die with ruptured organs.
The 41-year-old suspect, whose identity was withheld, was arrested Sunday for killing the 20-something employee at the facility in northwestern Seoul on Dec. 31. The Seodaemun Police Station referred the suspect to the prosecution for further investigations.
Police said the victim died from organ rupture.
Investigators said they believe the suspect killed the victim after being irritated by his unspecified behavior. Based on a digital forensic analysis of his phone, police concluded the suspect did not appear to have perverse sexual tendencies.
The suspect and the victim drank together six 640-milliliter bottles of soju on the day of the incident. The suspect is also believed to have used sticks to assault the victim, according to police.
On Friday, the suspect repeatedly said “I am sorry” as he was transferred to prosecutors.
Are there rectum stabbing cases that aren’t bizarre?
Bag Man of the Week
Man shows up at French police station with human head and penis in a bag
A man who claimed to have killed another showed up at a police station in the commune of Fréjus, in the southeast of France, on Friday, January 7, with a head and a penis in a bag.
“An individual arrived at the police station in Fréjus after having cut off a man’s head and penis,” said a police officer from the region of Provence-Alpes-Cote d’Azur in a statement given to the Press.
The 38-year-old man turned up at the police station on Friday morning. “He was exhibiting a human head,” said the officer, adding that the man was “put in provisional detention immediately”.
The man had been previously known to the police for “small” crimes, according to the same source.
On Friday evening, the investigators were carrying out “technical tests at the place of the alleged crime”, the individual’s place of residence.
Was severing the penis also a small crime?
Hidey Holes of the Week
Las Vegas women accused of hiding stolen cash, Rolex in genitals
Two women were arrested after allegedly hiding cash and a watch they stole inside their genitals, according to Las Vegas police.
Nikki Grandel and Staycee Johnson each face a charge of grand larceny and were arrested Jan. 2.
According to Las Vegas Metropolitan Police, Grandel and Johnson met the victim on the Caesars Palace casino floor. The three decided to go up to the victim’s hotel room, an arrest report said.
The victim took a bath, leaving $6,500 in cash rolled up in a rubber band and a Rolex watch inside a duffle bag in the room with the two women, the report said. The victim said he couldn’t find the items a short time later.
Police did a body search of Johnson and found the money “bulging in her pants,” the report said. Johnson initially told police she had placed the money in her vagina, but it had fallen out, according to the report.
Grandel denied taking any items from the room, according to police. Upon her booking into Clark County Detention Center, officers conducted an X-ray on Grandel and found a Rolex watch inside her vagina.
Staycee has a loosey pussy.
Stereotype of the Week
A 33 -YEAR-OLD mother of Misisi Township in Lusaka has been sentenced to five years for assaulting her 8-year-old biological son over a piece of chicken a day after Christmas.
Lusaka magistrate Trevor Kasanda jailed Jessy Banda five years imprisonment upon her own admission of guilt.
Banda was charged with one count of assault on a child.
She assaulted her son on December 26, 2021 by hitting him on his genitals with an iron bar.
Banda admitted the charge and explained to court how on the material day she used an iron bar to hit her son on his private parts after he stole a piece of chicken.
She said she had no authority to assault the child.
According to the facts of the case, prosecutor Muleya Simuusa said Banda a day after Christmas used a sharp object to hit the boy and he sustained a deep wound on his spectrum.
Simuusa said as the boy was crying, a good Samaritan came to his help and rushed him to hospital where he was attended to and a medical report was issued.
He said a police officer from Kabwata Police Station only identified as detective inspector Munalula took up the matter and apprehended Banda who was at the time on the run.
You don’t f*ck around with the chicken.
Showman of the Week
Handcuffed thug’s disgusting 45-minute sex show in back of police van
A handcuffed thug spent a 45-minute journey to custody cells in Hull masturbating in front of disgusted police officers.
Daniel Rutter, 33, had his genitals exposed for almost the entire van ride from Flamborough, where he was arrested, to Clough Road Police Station.
Hull Magistrates’ Court heard that following his arrest for beating his ex-partner, Rutter, of no fixed address, was put into a police van.
He proceeded to subject the two female officers to an extended episode of sexual harassment during which he exposed himself, masturbated and made lewd remarks to the officers.
Pardeep Dhinsa, prosecuting, told the court that Rutter had been released from prison on November 12, 2021, and shortly afterwards was involved in an incident with his ex on November 16 which required police intervention.
The victim had driven Rutter’s belongings to him after a barrage of calls amounting to harassment and the two had sex in a van, but things took a turn when he began to feel jealous and he attacked her, hitting her twice and spitting on her.
When officers arrived to arrest him, he acted aggressively and spat on the two arresting officers with the spit landing on one officer’s face and another officer’s shoulder.
Rutter wasn’t finished there however as he proceeded to defecate inside what is known as the “prisoner cage” which is a secure area in the back of a police van with clear perspex sides.
Rutter admitted to and was sentenced to 18 weeks in prison for assaulting two emergency workers, assault by beating, harassment without violence and causing criminal damage on November 16 this year.
He denied a charge of exposure which was tried separately at Hull Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday and chose not to attend court despite already being in custody.
He was found guilty.
Maybe cuff him behind the back next time.
Dumper of the Week
Woman accused of defecating on Sebastian River Middle School property
A woman wearing a purple jogging suit is accused of urinating and defecating at the front of Sebastian River Middle School, records show.
On Tuesday, Dec. 28, 2021, at approximately 11:28 a.m., deputies received a call about a suspicious incident at the school, located at 9400 CR-512.
A witness told deputies that the woman, driving a Honda with a Massachusetts tag, was acting suspiciously before leaving the scene in her vehicle.
“During her observation, she saw the female exit the car and walk around the front of the school. The female was touching the plants and the wall of the school until she squatted and pulled down her pants. She added it appeared that the female was urinating and defecating in the bushes at the front of the school,” the deputy said.
As the witness provided her statement, the exact Honda vehicle drove through the school parking lot. The woman was identified as 56-year-old Kimberly Archibald.
“The female denied the allegations and mumbled to herself,” the deputy said. The Massachusetts license plate did not have any record.
While being questioned, Archibald told the deputy she was nervous and began to do “jumping jacks.” She would not reply to any questions about the incident and wanted him to leave her alone.
The deputy attempted to detain Archibald, but she pulled away and refused to comply. As a result, she was arrested and charged with Trespass on School Property, Resisting Arrest, and Giving a False Name While Detained.
Actually, she’s from Massa-two-shits.
Ding Dong of the Week
Man delivering groceries caught masturbating on door camera
A victim got more than groceries during a recent home delivery.
Xavier Downs, 29, was arrested on Sunday and charged with two counts of Indecent Exposure.
According to the police report, the victim had ordered groceries from H-E-B via Instacart and had them delivered. Downs dropped the groceries off at the front door and went back to his vehicle. The victim opened the door and collected the groceries, having no contact with Downs.
Moments later, the victim’s doorbell camera caught Downs allegedly exposing his genitals and masturbating at the front door, according to the arrest affidavit. He was interrupted by a dog barking inside the home, and he pulled his shorts back up and walked away.
Police were able identify Downs from the doorbell camera, and also link him to a similar case that happened on Feb. 10, 2021.
If you don’t tip the delivery driver, you get porch jizzed.
Transition of the Week
A paedophile, who now identifies as a woman, who was jailed for having group sex with an Alsatian has been sent to a men’s prison because she is not legally female.
Claire Goodier – who was previously known as John and convicted of child abuse images as a man in the past – was sentenced for 20 months yesterday.
Goodier, 60, has identified as a woman for at least two years and was referred to as Claire and ‘she’ during her Chester Crown Court case.
But MailOnline has learnt the defendant – twice convicted of possessing indecent images of children in 2006 and 2009 – has been sent to HMP Altcourse.
It is a Category B men’s private prison and Young Offender Institution situated in Liverpool.
A source told MailOnline: ‘Prisoners go to whichever prison matches their legally recognised gender.
‘This defendant is in a male prison, HMP Altcourse.’
It’s hard to feel sorry for a dog-f*cking pedophile.
Mom of the Week
Mom allegedly stuffed son in trunk because he had COVID, needed to be quarantined
A Texas mother faces criminal charges after she allegedly stuffed her 13-year-old son in the trunk of her car — because he tested positive for COVID-19 and she didn’t want to get exposed, authorities said.
Sarah Beam, 41, allegedly packed up her son and took him to a drive-thru coronavirus testing center in Houston on Jan. 3, according to local outlet KPRC.
Witnesses reported hearing noises coming from the back of Beam’s vehicle when she pulled up to the tented testing center at Ken Pridgeon Stadium, according to court documents obtained by the outlet.
Bevin Gordon, the health services director at the site, asked Beam to open the trunk — revealing the teenager lying down inside, the charging docs state.
Beam, who has worked as a teacher in the Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District since 2011, explained she was trying to keep her son isolated.
“(The mother) stated that she put (her son) inside the trunk to prevent her from getting exposed to possible COVID while driving (him) to the stadium for additional testing,” the filing says.
Gordon told Beam that she and her son would not be tested until the teen was removed from the trunk and seated in the back seat of the car. He then called the police.
Surveillance footage from the testing site showed Beam opening the trunk door and her son climbing out, according to the probable cause statement.
The Cypress Fairbanks ISD Police Department said a warrant was issued for Beam’s arrest Friday on child endangerment charges.
This is the result of 2 years of liberal media COVID-19 fear-mongering.
Blazer of the Week
Disturbing video shows man doused in sanitizer burst into flames after being tased by cops
The New York state attorney general on Friday released footage of a man bursting into flames after being tased by cops inside an upstate police station in October, an encounter that led to his death.
The disturbing surveillance video shows members of the Catskill Police Department running away, leaving the man as he desperately tries to put out the flames engulfing his upper body and head.
Jason Jones, 29, died on Dec. 15 at a hospital in Syracuse after spending six weeks in a medically-induced coma.
The office of New York Attorney General Letitia James is investigating his death.
The footage made public by James shows Jones pacing around the lobby of the police station, some 30 miles south of Albany, for about 10 minutes after speaking with several officers on Oct. 30.
He becomes visibly agitated, taking off his short-sleeved sweatshirt and ripping his t-shirt off his large frame before taking off his shoes and socks, according to the video, which does not have sound.
A little more than 10 minutes later, Jones is seen dousing his bare torso and hair with flammable hand sanitizer from a large pump bottle that was on a table.
Within seconds, three officers advance towards him. One of them draws his Taser and fires it at Jones, who is out of the camera’s frame.
Jones then bursts into flames, and comes back into the camera’s frame as he rolls on the floor; his chest, back and head fully engulfed in fire.
The three officers scurried away — two into another room and a third around the corner of the lobby — and left Jones alone to extinguish the fire, by rolling on the ground and patting his head with his hands for about 10 seconds, the video shows.
As Jones is on the floor, badly burnt and screaming in anguish, the officer who deployed the stun gun came back in the room and appeared to try to get Jones’ hands behind his back as he lay on the floor. Jones was never handcuffed and a civilian whose face was blurred in the video came into the station to give him a hug.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Name of the Week
Adolf Hitler forced to work from home after Covid outbreak at his office
A politician named after murderous Nazi leader Adolf Hitler has been forced to work from home due to an outbreak of Coronavirus in his area.
Namibian district administrator Adolf Hitler Uunona has told local news that he is now working from home, as rising cases in the northern Namibia region of Oshana are a cause for concern.
Local authorities are now disinfecting “all properties” belonging to the local council – including Hitler’s office – after Omicron cases have risen in recent weeks.
Named by his father after the evil leader, Adolf Hitler Uunona took 85 per cent of votes in last year’s local election, which saw him pick up a seat on a regional council in Namibia.
Formerly known as German South West Africa, much of Namibia still has German names but Uunona claims his dad is unlikely to have known about Hitler’s actions.
Uunona of the ruling SWAPO party told Bild: “My father named me after this man. He probably didn’t understand what Adolf Hitler stood for.
“As a child I saw it as a totally normal name. Only as a teenager did I understand that this man wanted to conquer the whole world.”
I feel like Dave Chappelle could come up with a pretty funny “Black Hitler” sketch.
Head Games of the Week
Taliban saw the heads off female mannequins as they ‘offend Islam’ in bizarre new tirade
Several female mannequins in Afghanistan have been beheaded on the orders of the Taliban, as they are deemed to be offending Islam.
A video shared on Twitter shows an unidentified man using a hack saw to remove the head of a mannequin as someone shouts “Allah Akbar”.
More than 10 heads that have already been severed can be seen lying at his feet.
Last week, shopkeepers in the western province of Herat were told to hack the heads off their mannequins after Taliban officials ruled the statues were “idols”, the Daily Mail reports.
Idolatry is considered to be a grave sin in Islam which bans the worship of anyone or anything other than Allah.
The ruling was issued by the Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice in Herat, which is responsible for administering the Taliban’s strict interpretation of Islam.
Initially, the ministry had ordered shops to remove the mannequins completely, but shopkeepers complained, saying it would destroy what little business they had left.
After listening to the complaints, the head of the ministry, Sheikh Aziz-u-Rahman, ruled the mannequins’ heads should be cut off instead.
These are the same guys who took Afghanistan from Joe Biden in 3 days.
WTF? of the Week
Peruvian statue’s giant penis thrills tourists but vandals are turned off
The newly erected statue of a grinning man with an enormous phallus has prompted delight and rage in an archaeological hotspot in northern Peru where it has been on show since the beginning of the year.
Although perhaps not anatomically correct, the crimson fibreglass structure is a faithful representation of a ceramic vessel from Peru’s pre-Columbian Mochica culture, whose people lived in the region between 150 and 700 AD.
A 15-minute drive from the centre of the regional capital, Trujillo, the statue has already proved hugely popular with passers-by and tourists who pose beneath the 1.5-meter member for selfies.
But despite its historical fidelity, the 9ft-tall fertility symbol has already been attacked by vandals who smashed a hole in the statue and reportedly fired shots in the air as they fled.
Arturo Fernández Bazán, the mayor of Moche, the district named after the ancient culture, told local media: “At two in the morning three hooded criminals held a knife to the security guard’s neck to keep him from reacting or calling his colleagues on the radio, and two of them damaged the phallus.”
It’s an obvious case of penis envy. Authorities should round up all the small-dick Peruvians.
