Biden’s Brain Breaks On Live TV

During Joe Biden’s first press conference in ages there was the usual butchering of the English language from the illegitimate president but at one point his brain actually broke. I know what you’re thinking, Joe’s brain is already broke, so let’s just say it got broker.

About halfway through the press conference, Biden announced, “If you ask me easy questions, I’ll give you quick answers.”

Taking pre-approved questions from reporters in which he had the answers written down in front of him must have been too much for Biden because when he was served a softball about keeping schools open, his last 2 brain cells fell out of his ear onto the podium:

“Could school openings or closures become a potent midterm issue for Republicans to win back the suburbs?” the reporter asked.

“Oh, I think it could be, hopin’ God there could be, look,” started Biden.

At that point, Joe’s brain froze as he probably realized he shouldn’t say that Republicans are going to win suburban parents by pointing out that democrats kept kids out of school for over a year.

“Baby I’m kidding myself, waz time goes on,” Biden resumed.

Unfortunately, Biden’s brain froze again for another uncomfortably long pause.

“The voter who is just trying to figure, ite did I say it, howda take care of their family, put three squares on the table, stay safe, paybal pay the mortgage or their rent etcetera, has is becoming much more informed on the uh ” said Biden.

Again, Biden paused looking for just the right nonsense words to mumble.

“The motives of um some of the political players and some of the,” Biden continued.

Then came another long pause.

“And the political parties,” Biden said.

This answer is off to a bad start but I’m sure Biden can rescue it with his intelligence and eloquence. Then again, maybe not.

“And I think that they are not gonna be as susceptible to believing some of the outlandish things that have been said and continue to be said,” Biden said.

Does he mean like what just came out of his mouth?

“You know, every present, not necessarily in the first twelve months, every president in the first couple a years, most every president, ‘scuse me, the last frez-nence at least four have had polling numbers that are 44% favorable so it’s this idea but you all, not you all, but now it is that Biden is, one poll showed him at 33%. The average is forties, four, 44 45%. One poll was 49%,” said Biden.

I’m sorry, what was the original question?

“I mean, the idea,” said Biden.

Then came another brain freeze that lasted about 4 seconds.

“American public are trying to sift their way through what’s real and what’s what’s fake and I don’t think,” said Biden.

Another pause right when he said “I don’t think” was very appropriate.

“I’ve never seen a time when (pause) the political coverage (pause) the choice of what political coverage voter looks to has as much as what they believe. They go to get reinforced,” Biden said.

This “quick” answer to an “easy” question continued on for some time but I can’t transcribe any more of it because my brain is going break. Biden never came close to answering the question but he did predict that Fox News would go out of business in the next couple of years.

This press conference is why Biden rarely goes press conferences. He can barely read shit off of a teleprompter but when he gets a a question, no matter how easy, that he doesn’t have the answer written down in front of him, it breaks his already broken brain.