This week it was revealed that Joe Biden’s SCOTUS nominee, Ketanji Brown Jackson, is pro-pedophile. Here’s some other WTF? nobody is proud of. And yes, mutilated wangs are back:
Headline of the Week
Thai wife shoots husband’s penis with fishing harpoon because he didn’t cook her dinner
A man from Buriram in Thailand had a painful punishment for not cooking dinner for his wife.
According to Daily Star, angry wife Chanita Kuedrum shot her husband’s manhood with a fishing harpoon after he decided to go out for a drink with his friends instead of cooking her dinner.
The furious 43-year-old woman waited up for Boonchuey Mooseeton to teach him a painful lesson by shooting his crotch like a fish.
Boonchuey was quoted saying that his wife of 21 years then twisted the spear after shooting the base of his penis.
The incident happened after Chanita returned home from work in the fields as a sugarcane collector.
After a long day of work, she was expecting to see food on the table but instead realised that her partner had gone out with pals to drink whisky — forgetting to make his wife a meal.
It was then she decided to stay up for her husband to return home and teach him a life lesson.
The 45-year-old man was reportedly so drunk he did not seek medical attention until the next day.
His penis eventually needed 17 stitches.
Harpoon-stuck-in-your-dick-drunk is new one.
Pumper of the Week
Ex-World’s Strongest Man Eddie Hall nearly BLED to death after dropping weights on his penis
The former World’s Strongest Man, who will fight Hafthor Bjornsson this weekend in Dubai, had to be “stitched up” at the hospital after the horrific accident.
Hall, who has been crowned UK’s Strongest Man six times, has weighed in at 22st 3lbs for his grudge fight following a stunning body transformation.
The pair were originally scheduled to face each other in September, only for Hall to suffer a detached bicep.
Injuries aren’t uncommon for Hall, with the 34-year-old recalling in 2019 the time that disaster struck while he was training legs in the gym.
Quoted by the Mirror, he said: “I piled a load of heavy weights on a leg-press machine and then heard a loud thud.
“It has come crushing down and the weights had landed on my penis. I nearly bled to death.
“It was bad. The worst ever. I didn’t cry for help though.
“I just lifted them off, drove myself to the hospital and got stitched up. I was back training soon enough.”
Steroid shrinkage probably saved him from any serious damage.
Redeemer of the Week
Woman Sues Over Delivery of Chocolate Penis With ‘No Redeeming Qualities’
A woman is suing a novelty gift company for sending a life-size dick-shaped chocolate to her door, citing “fear, nervousness, anxiety, worry, and indignity” at receiving the phallic confection on her doorstep.
As reported by Courthouse News, the complaint, filed by Linda Parks in Ventura County, California on Tuesday, details the emotional distress Parks received when she got an unexpected chocolate dick delivery from the company Dick at Your Door, owned by Rain Parade LLC. Dick at Your Door sells a range of prank items beyond the choco-dongs: They also offer chocolate buttholes with the message “live fast eat ass” printed on the box, a “bag of dicks” gummies, and glitter bombs.
Parks isn’t just a resident of Ventura County, but a local politician, acting as its supervisor. She received the dick in 2021, according to VCReporter; at the time, an effort to recall her position as supervisor was underway, because she voted in favor of suing businesses that refused to comply with state and county health regulations to slow the spread of Covid-19, such as indoor mask wearing. The recall effort failed.
“This is the level of gutter politics going on in this town,” Parks told VCReporter at the time. A note in the box said “Enjoy your early retirement… You deserve it.”
“The actions of defendants were outrageous, intentional and malicious, and done with reckless disregard of the fact that they would certainly cause plaintiff to suffer severe and emotional physical distress,” the complaint states. Parks claims to have suffered headaches, fear, nervousness, anxiety, worry, and indignity because of the mysterious chocolate phallus.
This woman is clearly racist. She would have gladly accepted a white chocolate dick.
Deuce of the Week
Uzbekistani boy, 7, born with TWO penises gets surgery to remove his one-in-6million ‘duplicate’
An Uzbekistani boy was born with two penises in what doctors believe is a one-in-6milllion birth defect.
The unidentified boy, from the country’s capital, Tashkent, lived with the condition for seven years without physical discomfort.
Medics say he was able to pass urine out of both ‘fully functional’ and ‘structurally normal’ penises, which were conjoined at the shaft.
Pre-surgery scans revealed the Uzbekistani boy’s bladder and kidneys were ‘normal’, apart from two functioning urethras running from his bladder to each penis.
They learned that the child was born with no anus — which has been seen in other babies with double penises.
Too many dicks, not enough assholes, just like the Biden administration.
Designated Hitters of the Week
COLLEGE BASEBALL COACH FIRED AFTER LAWSUIT DETAILS WILD PENIS-SWINGING & MENTAL ABUSE ALLEGATIONS
The University of San Francisco announced Sunday it had fired baseball coach Nino Giarratano after learning of a lawsuit in which the coach was accused of “persistent psychological abuse and repeated inappropriate sexual conduct.”
Another coach, Troy Nakamura, who is also named in the lawsuit brought by USF players, was fired in January.
• Players allege Giarratano allowed a culture to develop where “it was normal” for Nakamura to be naked on the field, or a window, “swinging his penis in a helicopter fashion when the entire team and [Giarratano] — watched.”
• John Doe 1 claims Giarratano used profanity and berated him until he left the program.
• John Doe 2 says he visited the emergency room five times in the fall of 2021 after verbal and emotional abuse via the program.
• John Doe 3 claims the head coach called him a waste of space and told him, “I wish I could take my bat and hit your head as hard as I can and maybe I can get your brain to work.”
• Three plaintiffs told the S.F. Chronicle that Nakamura “flipped a player into a handstand and pretended to eat spaghetti out of his crotch area during a pre-practice skit” and once crawled across a field while naked.
• One player claims Giarratano saw Nakamura crawling on the field naked and kissed his cross and looked skyward as it was happening.
Do you want to whine or win?
Nut of the Week
Thug spat on partner, decked mum and grabbed stepdad by testicles at gender reveal
This is the thug who spat on his pregnant partner, smacked her head, decked her mum and then grabbed her stepdad by the testicles – all during a joyous gender reveal party.
Lewis Lyttle can be seen here proud as ‘punch’ as his glowing girlfriend, who we aren’t identifying, bursts a balloon which revealed the young Belfast couple are due to have a baby daughter later this year.
But after getting tanked-up, 21-year-old Lyttle, who was jailed this week for a year, burst the ‘happy’ couple’s metaphorical balloon by going on an astonishing rampage.
Lyttle, of Knocknagoney Park in Belfast, admitted charges of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and two counts of common assault.
The thug, who remains in Hydebank despite mounting an appeal against his 12-month prison term, was arrested after police were called to a house in the Newtownabbey area in the early hours of November 7 last year.
A Crown lawyer said: “He had assaulted his pregnant partner by spitting on her and pushing her onto a radiator, causing her to hit her head.”
The woman’s mother was struck on the lip when she tried to intervene, the court heard.
“Her stepfather then came out of an upstairs bedroom, and the defendant grabbed him by the testicles (and forearm),” the prosecutor added.
Defence counsel Rachael McCormick said her client accepted full culpability and indicated that the couple are no longer together.
“It arose out of what was due to be quite a nice day,” she told the court.
“The defendant and his ex-partner were expecting their first child and organised a gender reveal party on the date these offences occurred.”
A combination of alcohol and a “fractious” family relationship resulted in Lyttle’s “negative reaction”, according to Ms McCormick.
Nobody wants a girl.
Dick of the Week
‘She has a male genital’: Supreme Court to examine man’s plea over wife ‘cheating’ on him
On Friday, the Supreme Court agreed to examine a man’s plea that his wife should be criminally prosecuted over cheating him, as she held a male genital.
Earlier, a bench of justice Sanjay Kishan Kaul and MM Sundresh looked for a response from the wife after the man adduced a medical report disclosing that she held a penis and an imperforate hymen. However, representing the case plea, senior advocate NK Mody told the bench that a criminal offence under Section 420 (cheating) of the Indian Penal Code is subjected in the regard as the wife turned out to be a ‘man’.
“She is a man. It is definitely cheating. Please, look at the medical records. This is not a case of some congenital disorder. This is a case where my client has been cheated by getting married to a male. She definitely knew about her genitals,” reports quoted Mody.
The razor stubble should have been his first clue.
Recovery of the Week
Assailants Chop Off Drunkard’s Genitals
A 40-year-old man is admitted at St Francis Hospital Mutolere in Kisora District after he was on Wednesday night attacked by unknown people, who cut off his private parts.
Richard Ntibakunza, a resident of Butaha Village in Nyarusiza Sub County was discovered by the roadside an Thursday morning without his sexual organs.
Ntibakunze, a known drunkard was spotted by passersby who noticed him lying in a pool of blood.
Upon closer examination, they were shocked to learn that his sexuN organs had been mutilated.
Ntibakunze, who was operated on during the afternoon hours is now Wable and expected to fully
recover.Dr. Jerome Mugisha, Hospital Medical Superintendent says that the Ntibakunze, will have to learn to live without his sexual Organs.
I’m not sure Dr. Jerome understands what full recovery means.
Bladder of the Week
Woman had tumbler stuck in bladder for 4 years after it was used for ‘erotic purposes’
A woman who thought she had a simple urinary tract infection, got more than she bargained for during a hospital visit when doctors discovered a glass tumbler inside her bladder.
A 45-year-old Tunisian had been complaining about always needing the toilet, but a scan quickly revealed that it was not, in fact a simple infection – she had an 8cm-wide bladder stone inside her.
But it was the contents of the stone that baffled doctors at the Habib Bourguiba University Hospital in the eastern city of Sfax.
For encased in a bladder stone was a small drinking glass, which had apparently been put up there a few years ago for “sexual pleasure”.
The object was removed via open surgery, and she was discharged two days later – she is now thought to be fully recovered after the incident at the end of 2021.
That doesn’t seem all that pleasurable.
Kaboom of the Week
My 32JJ breast implant EXPLODED in the shower leaving me fighting for life with sepsis
Sophie Anderson, 33, claims that her left implant burst out of her skin while showering at her home in Slough, Berks.
The mum-of-four had developed sepsis five times in just a year, with doctors failing to realise that her implants were infected.
Porn star Sophie was terrified that she would die, and even if she did pull through she was concerned that she would not be able to carry on working.
The porn star, whose breasts were a size 32JJ, described how the implants started leaking silicone and left her in agony.
She was rushed to Wrexham Park Hospital last Sunday after developing a pain in her arm, but was sent home to rest before her breast started to swell up before exploding.
She told The Sun: “The doctors were really concerned about my infections, and if it would go to other organs.
“I am not feeling too good at the moment, the NHS have saved my life and the doctors have saved my life.
“When I initially went into hospital I begged them not to remove my implant because it’s my career, I’m in the adult industry and I need to work to support my children.
“But after they discharged me, the skin was swelling and it was all black and dying off. It just dropped off and then the implant burst through the skin and there was silicone everywhere.
“The whole thing has made me feel so sick, and it’s just awful, everything has just come crashing down.”
Looks like her face took some shrapnel from the blast as well.
Guess of the Week
Two charged after guns, drugs found in car, rectum
Two people are facing charges after police say they found drugs and guns after a crash in South Memphis.
Police attempted to stop a gray Infiniti G37X without tags in the area of Madison and Cleveland around 2:40 Wednesday afternoon. They say the driver refused to stop and fled the scene.
Officers followed the vehicle to Elvis Presley and Norris, where the driver struck another vehicle then bailed from the Infiniti.
Police were able to locate and chase the suspect on Elvis Presley. They said the suspect threw a holster and gun as he ran.
Eventually, officers caught up with the suspect, Deandre Perry, and took him into custody. A second handgun was found when officers searched him. One of the recovered firearms was stolen and modified with an automatic firing switch.
When officers returned the scene of the crash, they were informed that a passenger in the Infiniti got in the driver’s seat and took off. A witness said they followed the vehicle to Amherst Cove.
Police found Audra Perry, in the 2200 block of Amherst Cove. Officers searched the vehicle and found 5 plastic bags of marijuana that weighed 2.5 pounds.
During a cavity search, a Shelby County Corrections officer found a folded piece of paper with an unknown white powdered substance inside Audra’s rectum. Audra told the officer the substance was either crushed Percocet or Tylenol and she could not remember which one it was.
The substance tested positive for crack cocaine.
So close.
Employee of the Week
Florida Burger King employee shoots customer who threw mayo at her
A Burger King employee in Florida allegedly shot a customer after he threw mayonnaise at her face, police and local reports said.
Shateasha Hicks, 30, was arrested Thursday and charged with discharging a firearm in public after the incident at the Miami Gardens fast-food joint.
Police said Hicks opened fire on a man after an argument at the drive-thru window.
A relative of Hicks told NBC 6 that the customer she shot had squirted or thrown mayonnaise in her face.
The customer drove off and parked in the Burger King lot, according to a witness.
Hicks then allegedly went to her car, grabbed a gun and squeezed off five shots at the person’s vehicle as they drove away, according to an arrest report obtained by the outlet.
She got into her car and fled the scene, but was arrested after cops spotted her vehicle about a mile from her home, the report said.
A gun was found on the floorboard of Hicks’ car, and investigators recovered five bullet casings in the Burger King parking lot, according to the report.
Hicks walked out of Miami-Dade County jail on Friday evening after making her $1,000 bond.
It’s not clear if the customer, who hasn’t been tracked down by authorities, was injured in the shooting.
Hicks’ aunt claimed her niece was defending herself.
“She was protecting herself. I don’t blame her. Everybody else might, but I don’t,” she told Local10.
Everyone knows mayonnaise is a tool of white supremacy.
Stripper of the Week
Man accused of stripping — twice — in Phoenix park, tackling officer
A man arrested after allegedly stripping down in a Phoenix park, starting a fire, and later tackling a police officer will remain in jail until his next court date. According to court documents, Trent Laderrel Spencer was on felony release when officers arrested him Wednesday evening, so he’s not eligible for bail.
Police say Spencer, 44, smoked methamphetamine at Hilaria Rodriguez Park near 28th and Washington streets before going on an apparent drug-fueled rampage. Witnesses told police Spencer “hugged a bush and tried to wrestle it” and then poured gasoline on some rocks and set them on fire. After that, he allegedly took off all his clothes and started punching a park sign. According to court documents, when he urinated and defecated on the sidewalk next to the playground, bystanders encouraged him to put his clothes back on. He redressed and then immediately undressed again, police said. Witnesses told police there were no children on the playground when Spencer was naked.
Officers arrested Spencer and took him to the Mountain View Precinct for processing. When they removed one handcuff, police say he tacked an officer, taking him to the ground. Additional officers helped get him into a holding cell, court documents say.
I don’t know why meth has such a bad reputation. It sounds like a delightful drug.
Head Case of the Week
Boy gets massive sickle lodged in skull after he falls out of bed head-first onto tool
A teenager terrifyingly almost died after falling from his bed and landing head-first on a sickle.
Bhuppu Sen, 16, from India, was asleep in the middle of the night when he rolled over and landed straight on top of a sharp curved metal blade yesterday (March 16).
The sickle, which is used for harvesting, had been left precariously on the floor, and the teen reportedly forgot about it due to his light not working.
Incredibly no blood emerged from the teenager’s head despite the tool piercing a whopping 4cm into his skull.
He was taken to hospital where doctors performed a CT scan on him before rushing him into surgery.
A three-hour operation carried out by a team of doctors led to the successful removal of the sickle.
Dr. Kuldeep Singh, the neurosurgeon who led the operation, said he was shocked the boy didn’t end up paralysed or die from the horrific incident.
Doctors initially diagnosed him with sickle cell anemia.
WTF? of the Week
New dad says he ‘got sister pregnant with the blessing of her pastor husband’
A woman has given birth to her brother’s twins after having no idea they were related.
Neither Mark MacDonald or Rachel Elliott knew each other existed until adulthood but it was not long after meeting that they decided to go down a road few siblings have tried before.
Mark, a professor from Beaverton in Oregon, US found himself unable to have children with his wife and Rachel, who is from the other side of the country, offered to be their surrogate.
Rachel, who works as a mortgage lender in Raleigh, North Carolina, received a nod of approval from her pastor husband and went on to carry her full brother’s children almost 3,000 miles away from him.
The pair have penned their unusual experience in a soon to be released book titled ‘Love and Genetics: A true story of adoption, surrogacy, and the meaning of family’.
Mark grew up knowing he was adopted but only discovered he had a sister in Rachel when a bit of digging led to a flurry of letters, emails, and eventual face-to-face meetings between them.
Their new combined memoir reveals how Rachel gave a brother who she barely knew, and his wife, the ultimate gift of not one child but two.
It’s the most heartwarming story of incest and inbred babies ever written.
