This week a completely unqualified person was confirmed to the Supreme Court simply because of race and gender. Here’s some people who are infinitely more qualified in the art of WTF?, regardless of their skin color or vagina ownership:
Headline of the Week
Doctors pull more than a dozen tiny maggots from man’s eye after gruesome infestation
Doctors in France were forced to pluck over a dozen tiny maggots off the surface of a man’s eye with forceps.
The man complained of redness and itchiness on his right eye and went to doctors for help, before they found the sheep bot fly larvae slithering around on the surface of his eye.
Horrified docs also prescribed topical antibiotic treatments in case they missed any of the bugs.
Normally, the beasts’ offspring live in the nostrils of sheep and goats, where they mature before falling to the ground to pupate in the environment, before transforming into parasitic pests.
Sometimes, the parents fly into the eyes of humans, causing a disease called ophthalmomyiasis.
Thick spikes on the bodies of the larvae can cause irritation and abrasions on the outer membrane of the eye.
The 53-year-old Frenchman had been working outside near a sheep farm when he felt something fly into his eye, and complained to docs about itchiness later on.
Luckily for him, he only suffered external ophthalmomyiasis, meaning the larvae didn’t get inside his eyeball.
He however couldn’t explain why the maggots were also on his penis.
Double Dog of the Week
Dog with six legs, two penises wasn’t expected to live. Now he’s healthy and has a new home
Raga was born with six legs, an extra colon and four testicles. And an extra penis that had to come off.
While veterinary literature shows a few similar cases, most dogs like this are stillborn or die very young.
Anita Horne, hospital manager at VCA Advanced Veterinary Care Center in Indiana, first saw the rescued German Shepherd puppy last fall.
“He probably shouldn’t be alive, he was such a mess,” Horne said.
But she convinced the hospital’s technician supervisor, Gina Elliott, to foster him for a night, a few at the most, for what most people assumed would be a short life.
One of Raga’s penises appeared to function correctly, but his body was sending fecal matter to the other one, causing him to be hospitalized on heavy duty antibiotics to knock down an infection.
But he kept playing, kept running around, his extra legs flopping behind him, so hospital folks drew up a plan with two of the hospital’s surgeons.
Dr. Jae Tobias, a veterinarian, is midway through her three-year surgical residency and is two surgeries in on Raga, alongside colleague and veterinary surgeon Dr. Nicolas Vecchio.
Tobias said the puppy had an extra bladder, ureter, colon, pelvis, penis, four testicles, and two extra legs that were partly joined. A December surgery took out the extra limbs and pelvis.
In February came the delicate process of removing the bulk of the abnormal internal organs, including the extra penis, and associated urinary tract. A future procedure will go after the two last testicles that are buried in his abdomen.
But now, Raga, variously called Papaya, Carlos and Ripley, after Ripley’s Believe it or Not!, is a healthy dog of about seven months.
I should have made this the WTF? Yeah! of the week. Good boy.
Bush of the Week
Man almost loses penis after matted pubic hair cuts off circulation
An Australian man nearly lost part of his penis after errant public hair ensnared the tip and cut off its circulation like a grotesque garrote.
“We describe an unusual case in an adult resulting in erosion of the urethra,” read a Urology Case Reports study detailing the poor soul’s phallic asphyxiation.
He specifically suffered from hair tourniquet syndrome, in which hair or thread becomes tightly tangled around the genitals, fingers and other extremities. Generally affecting children, the affliction can cut off the blood flow, requiring patients to undergo surgery — and even amputation.
The 57-year-old Geelong native, who was reportedly uncircumcised, had reported to a family doctor after suffering extreme pain and swelling of his glans — the scientific term for the penis tip — for two weeks. However, medics didn’t notice the culprit, as they didn’t check under the hood, thereby allowing his symptoms to worsen.
After steroids failed to alleviate his agony, the patient was referred to Geelong University Hospital. There, an examination of the foreskin revealed the source of his pain to be a “complex hair tourniquet of short, matted” hairs that had horrifyingly encircled the area beneath the glans like a miniature choker, per the study.
Doctors speculated that the “pubic hair collected under the foreskin and after significant accumulation and time the single strands matted together forming a tight ring.”
In fact, the tallywacker tourniquet was so constricting that it had compressed the member down to 1 centimeter in diameter. It also “completely divided” his urethra, per the study.
Experts believe that the freak accident was caused by the man neglecting to clean the region properly.
Welcome to the jungle, baby. You’re gonna die.
Bushier of the Week
Woman with dark hair all over her body ‘isn’t ashamed’ as she shows it off in bikini
A woman has showed off her body hair in a display of confidence as she told people that she would only shave for two reasons.
Ariana went viral online after posting a video on TikTok showing her bikini in a trendy emerald green colour as viewers noticed her body hair around the stomach.
One commented asked: “You decide to shave everywhere but there?”
She then made another clip to explain in detail and revealed her body hair in close-up.
“TikTok camera hides the details. I literally have hair everywhere due to hirsutism. I shave wherever I desire,” the 18-year-old said.
“Hair on certain places can be uncomfortable for me and that’s where I remove.”
That’s the saddest happy trail I’ve ever seen.
Handy of the Week
Does Disney Gift Card Feature Hidden Penis?
The Walt Disney Company has been the subject of rumors for decades that claim they are intentionally placing NSFW images or language into their children’s entertainment catalog. In 1989, for example, some sex-crazed Disney fans swore that they recognized a penis in the cover art for the movie “The Little Mermaid,” and that a scene in that film featured a priest with a noticeable erection. In 1992, rumors circulated that the character Aladdin could be heard saying “good teenagers take off their clothes,” and in 1996 rumors spread that the word “Sex” was written in the stars in “The Lion King.”
These rumors were generally false or examples of pareidolia, where people decipher images out of otherwise random patterns. In other words, some phallic shapes may be in the eye of the beholder.
In the spring of 2022, amidst a flurry of right-wing attacks on Disney after the company came out in opposition to Florida’s so-called “Don’t Say Gay Bill,” a new attempt to smear Disney was made when social media users shared a photograph of a Disney Gift Card that they claimed contained a hidden penis.
While the above-displayed image shows a genuine (albeit old) gift card, whether a penis is hidden in the shape of Minnie’s dress is a matter of interpretation.
The Florida law that doesn’t forbid the saying of “gay” is the “Don’t Say Gay Bill” but Minnie stroking a huge blue cock is a matter of interpretation?
Commie of the Week
Andrey Sergeyevich Sychyov, and eight other soldiers, were subjected to the torturous beating that lasted for over three hours in 2005.
The squadron’s seniors lashed out after suggesting the men had not cleaned up properly after a New Year’s Eve party.
Traumatised Andrey was cruelly made to squat with his hands bound behind his back by Junior Sergeant Alexander Sivyakov.
The then 19-year-old and other higher-ranking soldiers subjected the troop to a vicious three-and-a-half-hour beating.
Andrey was left in agonising pain due to his horrific injuries for FOUR days and was only able to receive medical treatment on January 4.
Horrified doctors found he had suffered numerous broken bones, heavy trauma to the genital area and gangrene of the legs after the savage attack.
The delay in seeking crucial medical attention left them with no choice but to amputate both of his legs, his genitals and one of his fingers to save the soldier’s life.
In wake of his brutal ordeal, Andrey’s mother Galina Sychyov, claims she was offered bribes so the family would not pursue legal action.
She said she was encouraged to take $100,000 (£76,000) in hush money as well as a property in exchange for their silence.
But sick Sergeant Sivyakov, who ordered the vile punishment, was eventually tried for the incident and five other counts of abuse.
Yet despite Andrey’s life-changing injuries, he was sentenced to just four years in prison and stripped of his rank.
The sadistic story had resurfaced amid the war in Ukraine and repeated accounts of merciless brutality by Russian troops.
Russians are dicks and dick-haters.
Bozo of the Week
Gainesville man accused of killing his mother sliced her face, back, records show
A Gainesville man accused of killing his mother Monday, April 4, cut and sliced the 63-year-old woman’s face, head, back and buttocks, according to documents obtained by The Times.
Hall County Sheriff’s Office investigators filed warrants April 5 for Marcus Alfredo Flores, 33, for malice murder and terroristic threats and acts.
Hall County deputies were called about 11:30 p.m. Monday to the 2100 block of Chicopee Street on a requested welfare check. Shields’ body was found at the scene, and Flores was arrested overnight.
The warrants stated Flores used “an unknown object,” to cause the cuts on Angela Shields, 63, of Gainesville. Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman B.J. Williams said the investigators were still working on evidence and interviews Thursday, April 7.
Flores was also charged with terroristic threats and acts for telling a deputy after 5 a.m. April 5 “that (the deputy) was going to die when he got off work and that (the) deputy did not know who worked for him,” according to the warrant.
He’s the clown-prince of matricide.
Flight Club of the Week
Man arrested, admits to masturbating 4 times on Southwest flight
A man was arrested after masturbating multiple times on a Southwest Airlines flight, according to court documents.
Antonio Sherrodd McGarity masturbated on four separate occasions on April 2 and exposed himself to a female passenger who was sitting next to him, the court documents reveal.
The female passenger said McGarity licked a white substance from his fingers and asked if she minded if he masturbates, according to a criminal complaint.
WTAJ reported that the woman alerted Southwest flight attendants after McGarity fell asleep and she was moved to another seat.
The flight was headed from Seattle to Phoenix when the lewd acts occurred.
In the documents, McGarity said he didn’t think the woman minded because he saw her using her mobile phone to take pictures of what he was doing.
He allegedly asked if the female passenger minded and told police that the woman put her hands in the air and said “it really doesn’t matter.”
So that’s what mind over matter means.
Reptile of the Week
Baby alligator, syringes of meth and guns allegedly found during Collier County traffic stop
A Florida man has been arrested after police say he was found with guns, a baby alligator and multiple loaded syringes of methamphetamine, according to the Collier County Sheriff’s Office.
Michael Marolla, 31, was charged with two counts of carrying a concealed firearm on Friday, as well as multiple drug related charges.
Deputies say around 12:30 a.m. they conducted a traffic stop on a black GMC Sierra pickup near 12th Street Southeast and Golden Gate Boulevard after they recognized the driver from previous law enforcement encounters as having a suspended license.
A live baby alligator in an open plastic tub was located in the bed of the pickup, along with two firearms inside the truck, according to deputies.
One firearm was concealed in the glove box and the other was hidden under the front passenger seat, deputies say.
Marolla faces charges of possession of a controlled substance and possession of narcotic equipment after deputies say they found multiple loaded syringes in Marolla’s jacket.
The syringes tested positive for methamphetamine, deputies say.
Does this guy know how to party, or what?
Mom of the Week
Jeffersonville official passed out drunk next to bar while baby rolled away in stroller
A woman who serves on the Jeffersonville Township Advisory Board is facing felony child neglected after an incident involving a baby at a bar last week.
A probably cause statement filed in Clark County says that last Friday, a witness at O’Shea’s Pub saw Brandy Brewer sitting at the bar, ordering food.
The witness said that while waiting, Brewer ordered a beer and started drinking it while nursing a baby.
That person followed her out of the restaurant and saw her passed out on the side of the building.
The documents say the baby wasn’t strapped in the stroller, and it was rolling down the sidewalk.
The witness confronted Brewer while his wife grabbed the baby.
An officer arrested Brewer on charges of felony neglect and misdemeanor public intoxication.
You’d think someone named “Brandy Brewer” could handle her alcohol a little better.
ID of the Week
Murderer who now identifies as child wears nappies and eats baby food in UK jail
A murderer who killed her cellmate when she was only 18 years old is sucking a dummy behind bars and having food blended by guards after being asked to be treated like a baby.
Sophie Eastwood was jailed for life in 2004 after she used shoelaces to strangle a cellmate.
She has now informed the governor at Polmont jail where she is incarcerated that she wished to be treated as a baby, including wearing nappies and having her meals blended like baby food, the Daily Record reports.
Eastwood also asked that officers at the prison hold her hand when she is being escorted from her cell.
Bosses at the prison are understood to be taking the demands seriously, as well as considering what protocols can be established in dealing with the prisoner.
Eastwood has already been supplied with a dummy.
A source said: “This prisoner has been difficult and manipulative over the years, which is why she is still behind bars after 17 years.
“She decided that she would ‘trans’ from a man to woman, which is becoming more common in jails these days.
“But this is obviously something else entirely and the Scottish Prison Service has no protocol in place for dealing with prisoners who decide they are babies.”
Eastwood, 36, is serving a life sentence for killing Paul Algie, 22, in 2004.
She has been living as a woman in jail for four years and completed her 15-year minimum term in 2019.
But she has remained in secure conditions and is not due for release.
I identify as someone who thinks this gender bender is full of shit.
Necro of the Week
Man accused of murdering NYC nurse allegedly had sex with her corpse
A man accused of murdering a Queens nurse after their Tinder date allegedly had sex with her dead body — and then used her credit card to buy a plane ticket to flee to California, prosecutors said.
Danueal Drayton, 31, is charged with beating and strangling 29-year-old Samantha Stewart at her Springfield Gardens home after their date in July 2018.
He was arraigned in Queens Supreme Court on an 18-count indictment Friday after being extradited from Los Angeles to face a slew of charges, including murder, sexual misconduct and grand larceny.
“This was a brutal crime that makes every person using a dating app fearful,” Queens District Attorney Melinda Katz said following his arraignment.
“The victim was duped into going out on a date with the defendant, who played a charmer online, but was in fact an alleged sexual predator.”
Drayton, who lived in New Haven, Connecticut, murdered Stewart after they went back to her home on July 16 after meeting on the dating app, prosecutors allege.
After the brutal slaying, Drayton allegedly had sex with the nurse’s lifeless body, dumped her in a blanket in the bedroom and took off with her credit cards, according to the indictment.
He is accused of fleeing her home in a white van that was found abandoned at JFK Airport a day later. Prosecutors said he flew to Los Angeles with a ticket he’d bought with one of the victim’s credit cards.
Drayton was taken into custody a week later in a North Hollywood hotel room where he was allegedly holding a woman against her will.
Black Lives Matter.
WTF? of the Week
RAPPER GOONEW CORPSE PROPPED UP IN NIGHTCLUB …On Display During Funeral
Rapper Goonew was quite literally front and center at his own funeral … with his body propped up and on display in a club.The 24-year-old’s funeral, named The Final Show, was held at Bliss Nightclub in Washington D.C. Sunday, and footage from inside the building appears to show the rapper’s embalmed corpse overlooking the crowd, fully dressed up and wearing a crown.
The audience reaction is pretty mixed … some are dancing along to the music, while others are stone-faced, staring at the dead body in front of them. Bliss Nightclub said they weren’t made aware of the tribute ahead of time, according to TooFab, and have apologized to anyone offended.
Goonew, real name Markelle Morrow, was found with fatal gunshot wounds a few weeks ago in a District Heights parking lot — his family believes he was the victim of an armed robbery.
Black Death Matters Too.
