This week liberals went full-WTF? with claims that 9mm rounds can blow lungs out of the body and AR-15s can decapitate people and turn them into dust. Here’s some more mind-blowing WTF?:
Headline of the Week
Bride-to-be repeatedly stabbed on hen do while wearing inflatable penis costume
A bride-to-be was lucky to escape unharmed after a stranger started hacking at her inflatable penis costume while she was out on her hen do.
Laura Inglic, 23, was targeted by 27-year-old Ronald McKinnon as she celebrated her engagement with friends in Eaglesham, Scotland, on June 12 last year.
Paisley Sheriff Court heard McKinnon had attempted to pop the inflatable outfit in what was considered a random attack.
Ms Inglic, who used to play football for Scottish Women’s League winners Bishopton Ladies, was said to have been shaken up but otherwise unharmed.
Arrested a day after the unprovoked attack, McKinnon was charged with possessing a knife in public and culpable and reckless conduct by stabbing the costume.
He admitted the latter charge, with police concluding that he had ‘repeatedly stabbed an inflatable costume worn by Laura Inglis with utter disregard to the consequences’.
A better headline for this would have been: C*nt Stabs Cock!
Head of the Week
A Florida driver nearly had his penis bitten off by a woman giving him oral sex after he ‘lost control’ of his car in a head-on collision.
Fort Lauderdale Fire Rescue responded to an accident on North Ocean Boulevard and 19th Street on Thursday after the unidentified man crashed his vehicle into a FedEx van, according to The Star.
Authorities told Local 10 News that the man ‘lost control’ of the vehicle around 7pm after becoming distracted by his girlfriend’s sexual acts.
The couple was found half-naked in their SUV and can be seen in photos laying on the ground.
The man appears to be in pain as officers gather around him while he laid on his back. The woman, who had her jeans around her ankles, laid face down on the pavement in nothing but her underwear and a white tank top.
The driver sustained injuries in his groin area, but otherwise was fine. The woman was said to have sustain mild injuries on impact, according to The Star.
Authorities describe his groin injuries as “head trauma.”
Dick of the Week
Sex ed teacher wraps student in human-sized condom to teach unforgettable lesson
An inventive sex education teacher from Mexico has become a viral TikTok hit with his unique method for showing his pupils how to put on a condom.
Teacher Antonio Guzman was filmed rolling a human-sized fabric sheath over one of his students entire body to show them how it’s done.
As the classroom echoes with the students’ laughter, Mr Guzman explains to them: “You know, the shape of the penis will vary.
“There are some that incline backwards, others bend forwards, and there are some that lean to one side.
“Finally, what you are seeing is a grade four erection!”
That’s one chubby dick.
Pussy of the Week
Maryland Police Investigating Offensive Challenge Coin Depicting Female Genitalia
Maryland State Police say they are investigating the circulation of an offensive challenge coin making its way around the ranks, News4 is first to report.
It’s not the first time this has happened. This time, some African American troopers say this coin is directed at them.
It’s a challenge coin so offensive, we had to blur most of it for publication. It shows a drawing of female genitalia and reads “These —— can’t take a pounding” on one side and continues with more insults on the other side.
Some African American troopers say the coin is retaliation against their complaints about alleged racism and discrimination within the department. Those complaints led to the superintendent testifying before the Maryland General Assembly’s Legislative Black Caucus.
Ironically, thinking a vagina is racist really does make you a pussy.
Bush of the Week
Florida man exposes himself, defecates in Treasure Island surf shop, police say
A Treasure Island surf shop had quite a mess to clean up after police say a Lakeland man defecated on its floor and used a shirt to wipe up.
According to the Treasure Island Police Department, Gary Peter Bush, 69, walked into the Surf Style shop, located at 10701 Gulf Blvd., exposed his genitalia and proceeded to defecate on the floor near the dressing room.
Witnesses told police Bush wiped himself with a shirt belonging to the store, creating a biohazard out of the top.
Bush was arrested later in the day after being recognized by the store manager.
According to the arrest report, Bush told officers, “I was at the store earlier to get clothes. I returned to the store to get more clothes. I bought an outfit.”
Bush is facing charges of criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs.
You gotta try out the merchandise before you buy it.
Kicker of the Week
I was kicked off a plane over my 22-pound boobs and felt dehumanized
Mary Magdalene has something to get off her chest.
The 25-year-old model was asked to leave her plane to Dallas, Texas, due to her 22-pound breasts.
The Toronto native donned leggings and a sports bra for her $5,000 Tuesday flight and was able to get through security and board the plane.
The cabin crew threw her off the aircraft for wearing her headphones and not listening to instructions from the flight attendants.
However, she believed that her departure had something to do with her appearance.
Magdalene took to social media to express her frustration, noting: “I was kicked off tf light [the flight] for how i look please stop discrimination please this is disgusting i feel so emvarrassed and [dehumanized right now], u guys have no idea.”
In a separate snap, she shared a selfie showing herself on her flight wearing her headphones and featuring her deep cleavage in her sports bra.
“Onviously this is why [she] kick me off, cuz I [look] too [explicit] bit thats not legal so she had to say its because I was sleeping snd vouldn’t hear her,” she captioned the post.
The influencer noted she plans to “sue the airline” and take legal action, but has not yet undertaken any steps to do so and has declined to reveal the airline carrier that left her high hopes to fly dashed.
And speaking of non-human and disgusting, does she own a mirror?
Chucker of the Week
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX-7X1-gVmc&t=3s
Surveillance footage shows the moment a man is gunned down by police after lighting squad cars on fire with Molotov cocktails, and hurling urine and feces at a police offices in Raleigh, North Carolina.
The footage shows Reuel Rodriguez-Nunez, 37, parked in the empty parking lot of a Raleigh Police Department station in May.
Rodriguez-Nunez can be seen tossing two Molotov cocktails at a pair of empty cars, starting fires on them.
He then calmly returns to his car and appears to top up several more bottles ready to throw.
A police car driven by Lieutenant M.F. Schabel then pulls into the lot, unaware of Rodriguez-Nunez’s previous actions.
Rodriguez-Nunez then tosses a few cups at Schabel’s patrol car, who reverses.
Schabel says that the Rodriguez-Nunez is throwing urine and feces, and calls for backup.
A second patrol car then arrives, driven by Senior Officer B.A. Beausoleil. He gets out of the car and advises Rodriguez-Nunez, who is lighting more Molotov cocktails, to stop.
‘Do not f*****g do it. Don’t do anymore. Don’t do it. Don’t do it, bro,’ he yells.
Rodriguez-Nunez tosses a trio of Molotov cocktails at the police, before retrieving his gas canister.
An officer radios that Rodriguez-Nunez has a knife, and another tries to talk to Rodriguez-Nunez.
Rodriguez-Nunez prepares to toss another Molotov cocktail at the officers, when police begin firing a hail of bullets at him. Rodriguez-Nunez falls as he sends a final cocktail flying.
Officers cuff the bloodied Rodriguez-Nunez, then carry his limp body away and begin to perform CPR.
A police report shows that 30 rounds were fired at Rodriguez-Nunez. He also has a previous record of weaponizing bodily fluids, in 2020 hurling a milk container full of feces at two officers while he was in jail.
This is what happens when you bring shit to a gun fight.
Boob of the Week
Iowa deputy charged after asking female driver to show breasts during traffic stop
A former Iowa sheriff’s deputy is facing charges after asking a female driver to show him her breasts during a traffic stop.
According to the Iowa Department of Public Safety, Klint Bentley, a former Buchanan County sheriff’s deputy, stopped a vehicle for speeding in February.
Bentley allegedly asked the female driver to show him her breasts and implied he would withhold issuing a citation if she did, the DPS reported. According to court documents, Bentley asked the female, “What’s in it for me?”
Bentley continued to solicit nude photos of her via text message after the traffic stop concluded, the DPS reported.
On Feb. 8, Bentley was terminated from the Buchanan County Sheriff’s Office.
Bentley is charged with extortion, non-felonious misconduct in office and accepting a bribe.
He was administering a Breastalyzer test. What’s the big deal?
Shit of the Week
Kim Kardashian to do ‘anything’ to look young, will also eat feces
Kim Kardashian might just do anything to retain and maintain her beauty.
Speaking to The New York Times ahead of the launch of her skincare line SKKN by Kim, the 41-year-old confessed that he would eat human feces if it were to make her beautiful.
“I’ll try anything,” the “Kardashians” said on Wednesday.
“If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might. I just might,” she joked.
“He” would eat human feces? Does Pete Davidson know?
Siblings of the Week
Woman bites her sister’s eye off in drunken fight, police say
A woman bit her sister’s eye while in a drunken argument on Friday night.
According to arresting documents, 26-year-old Ashleigh Mason was intoxicated when she and her sister got into a fight while in a car.
Mason grabbed her sister’s hair, pulled her in, and bit her left eye, causing part of the eye to be ripped out.
Police said that Mason fled about a block and hid in a yard.
Mason was “extremely intoxicated” and screaming loud enough for neighbors to hear when they found her.
She had two bottles of vodka and a can of White Claw.
According to paramedics, the sister’s eye would need to be worked on by a plastic surgeon. Police believe the tear duct was ripped out but couldn’t tell because of the blood.
Mason was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on aggravated assault, disorderly conduct, and intoxication.
The eyes have it.
Parents of the Week
East Texas parents arrested after letting daughter smoke their meth
Two people were arrested in Smith County earlier this week for allegedly letting their daughter smoke their meth, according to an arrest warrant obtained by KETK News.
34-year-old Lajuana Glass and 51-year-old Johnny Michael Moore were taken into custody and charged with injury to a child.
The warrant states that on May 3, deputies responded to a pursuit with a stolen vehicle. The driver stopped and ran from the area, according to the warrant. The passenger was a teenage girl who told police she had run away from her parents’ house the night before and the driver was giving her a ride.
The victim said she was afraid of her mother and stepdad, which she identified as Glass and Moore. The warrant stated the girl told detectives they lived inside of a mechanic shop and Glass and Moore allegedly “provided meth to [the victim] before.”
[The victim] advised… that her parents introduced her to methamphetamine. [The victim] said her mom and stepdad would smoke methamphetamine in front of [her] and wouldn’t try and hide it.”
Agents with Child Protective Services executed a removal order of the victim from the mechanic shop and was taken to a local hospital. In an interview the following day, the victim accused both Moore and Glass of physically abusing her along with providing her meth, according to the warrant.
The documents say the victim tested positive for meth at the hospital and after her interview with detectives. Glass and Moore were being held at the Smith County Jail on bonds that were worth $250,000 each.
Meth heads aren’t usually that generous with their stash. Also, the woman is 31? Yikes.
Covert Operation of the Week
Undercover cops accused of ‘defecating on colleagues’ and ‘penetrating them with veg’
Police officers have been accused of engaging in “disgusting, appalling” behaviour as they went to “extreme lengths” to prove they were not cops.
Members of the force in British Columbia, Canada are said to have penetrated a colleague using a vegetable, defecated on another and exposed their genitalia, according to Global News and CT.
Policing experts in the country are now calling for an immediate overhaul of undercover tactics.
The BC Municipal Undercover Program was shut down after a workshop in May which left several participants so disturbed by the incident that they reported it to their superiors, with nine officers reportedly under investigation.
Mike Farnworth, British Columbia’s solicitor general, described the allegations as “disgusting” and “appalling” and authorities in the province have said that an independent investigation will now be launched.
In recent years, criticism has focused on Canada’s frequent use of a tactic known as the “Mr Big” technique, used when police suspect a person has committed a serious crime, but cannot prove it due to a lack of evidence.
The technique involves recruiting the suspect into a fake criminal organisation in which they are encouraged to perform risky and sometimes illegal activities as ways of “proving” themselves worthy to join.
The end goal of the exercise is to have them meet the gang’s “boss” and confess to the worst thing they have ever done.
Canadian gang initiations are just weird.
Do of the Week
Zoo forced to deny giving lion hilariously dodgy ‘mullet’ mane haircut
A zoo has been forced to deny it gave a lion a dodgy haircut on purpose after visitors were left puzzled by its new look.
Instead of the usual mane, the male lion now sports a new cropped hairdo that looks a little out of place on one of the Animal Kingdom’s fiercest predators.
Images of the mammal with the bizarre fringe have spread quickly across Chinese social media, with many accusing staff at Guangzhou Zoo of giving the proud animal a botched makeover.
Some online comments compared the lion to mullet media personality Joe Exotic from the Tiger King Netflix show, while others said he resembled the mop-topped members of The Beatles.
But workers have fiercely defended themselves against suggestions they meddled with his hairdo, with one spokesperson claiming the lion in fact did it himself.
They explained: “Like a cat, he first licked his claws, and then fiddled with his hair.”
Another statement said high levels of humidity had also contributed to the switch-up in styles.
Just like COVID-19, the Chinese can’t own up to anything.
Don’t of the Week
Plastic surgery obsessed ex-Russian soldier ‘Popeye’ finishes aim to ‘become an alien’
A former Russian soldier who turned himself into a “fake Popeye” with petroleum jelly injections says he has now “completed” face altering procedures to make him look like an “alien”.
Kirill Tereshin, 25, has been told his life is in danger from bicep enlargements, taken to make the ex-soldier look like “superman”.
He continued with a series of plastic surgeries, boosting his lips, filling his cheeks and “shaping” his lower jaw and forehead with a series of surgeries.
Tereshin recently boasted in a video showing off his newly acquired face that he “looks like an aliens’ face” and spoke of how this will help him meet aliens when he dies.
A female beautician by the name of Zara carried out the cosmetic face transformations, which cost Tereshin a hefty £3,600.
But the 25-year-old received the surgeries because he “once saw a flying saucer” and believes that he will meet extra-terrestrials after he dies.
Tereshin said: “I feel that when I die, I will get to them. I believe in this. The third transformation of my face is complete – successfully. How beautiful it is. Everything is done as it should be.”
The ex-soldier continued: “It is all going according to plan. What a handsome male I am. Damn…if I was a girl, I’d shag myself.”
He’s definitely not a man so he really should f*ck himself.
WTF? of the Week
I’m in a relationship with my 1998 Chevy — and our sex life is so special
Unlike most people, this driver loves ramming his car.
An Arkansas man known only as Nathaniel — for, uh, privacy reasons — is revving back into the headlines after saying he has “sex” with his 1998 Chevy Monte Carlo.
The randy motorist, 37, revealed he was in a sexual relationship with his racy red automobile back in 2012, when he was featured on an episode of TLC’s “My Strange Addiction.” However, vintage YouTube clips of his bizarre auto erotica are just now going viral — globally.
“I like to lean over his fender and across his hood and kind of press up against him,” Nathaniel said of how he engages in intercourse with his vehicle, which he has gendered as male and affectionately named “Chase.”
“One of the more bold positions is for me to be underneath him,” he added, describing the sexual act as “special.”
The dirty driver additionally revealed that he frequently masturbates while standing next to the parked car.
Nathaniel spent five years secretly having sex with the vehicle, saying he was scared of the judgment he would face if he revealed his objectophilia.
“I always worry about that little bit of disgust that somebody may have,” he stated.
Here’s a dude having a gay sexual relationship with a car and somehow the worst part is that he owns a ’98 Monte Carlo.
