This week liberal WTFers informed us that voting for a Hispanic woman and camping were traits of white supremacy. Here’s some other WTF? that is probably also white supremacy according to the liberal rule of “everything is racist.”:
Headline of the Week
Stunned tonsillitis sufferer spots image of Patrick Swayze inside her infected throat
A stunned tonsillitis sufferer claims to have spotted an image of Road House and Dirty Dancing star Patrick Swayze in her infected throat.
Estella Wright, 22, thought her medication was a bit too strong when she spotted the blob that she claims was a near-perfect shape of the 1980s heartthrob.
Estella, a musical theatre graduate, says she is a huge fan of the actor, so much so that she appeared in a stage production of Swayze’s hit 1990 feature, Ghost.
But a particularly bad bout of tonsillitis put Estella in University Hospital Coventry for 11 days, which left her seeing the Red Dawn star on her inflamed throat.
She said: “I’m in hospital on a lot of meds because my tonsils were swollen to the point I couldn’t breathe properly. Although I’m mostly okay now.
“I’ve been taking progress pictures whenever I go to the bathroom to see if the swelling has gone down. I recognise Patrick when I see him. I was in a musical production of Ghost recently, so his face just remains engraved in my brain.
“I assumed it’s a mixture of that and the morphine. I took the picture and then thought nothing of it, and then looked back for comparison purposes and was just pleasantly surprised.
“I remember going ‘Oh I know that man’, again I think it was the drugs. I thought it was like being visited by an old friend.”
Estella was rushed to A&E when her throat closed up so badly that she couldn’t speak and was feeling sick because of the antibiotics.
She continued: “Doctors kept looking at my tonsils and running away because they looked ‘grim’.
“I’ve been fed a multitude of antibiotics, steroids and painkillers ever since to try and clear my airways and stop the pain.”
Although being a huge fan of the Point Break actor, Estella said she was relieved that he was no longer appearing in her throat, saying: “I’ll miss Patrick but I’d much rather be able to eat without choking.”
She was rushed back to the hospital after finding Richard Gere up her ass.
Spoiler Alert of the Week
A terrified mother told her sister ‘this could be my last gin’ before she returned home and was stabbed to death by her son, a court has heard.
Lee Tipping, 36, is said to have stabbed mother Patricia Livesey, 57, to death along with his father Anthony Tipping, 60,.
Preston Crown Court heard Anthony had been stabbed more than 130 times, including at least 65 times in the chest and 15 times in the abdomen.
And jurors were told he also suffered a number of ‘very unusual’ injuries to his genital area, believed to have been inflicted after his death.
Lee Tipping claimed these wounds were caused by him ‘chucking’ a knife at his father, but pathologist Dr Alison Armor said this did not line up with the evidence.
She told the court: ‘There are five stab wounds. Two of these stab wounds needed force to inflict.
‘The other wounds are caused by a slashing motion which is inconsistent with a single “chuck”.’
The court heard Patricia had been stabbed 153 times, including 67 times in the chest, 39 in the abdomen, 10 in the neck and three times around the eyes.
Both parents had also been beaten before they died, with Patricia suffering a black eye and a shoulder injury consistent with being hit with a blunt weapon.
After killing his parents, Tipping booked a flight to Rome and drove to Manchester Airport, where he checked into a nearby hotel under a fake name, the court heard.
When he was arrested at around 7.30pm on November 21, he claimed he had acted in self-defence.
He told police his father had been ‘bullying him all his life’ and was ‘a monster’ who would ‘fight to the death’.
He sure bullied his dad’s junk.
Sack of the Week
Police officer sacked for touching colleague’s penis and shouting ‘it’s a small one’
A police officer has been sacked for touching a colleague’s penis and shouting “it’s a small one”, before claiming he did it as “banter”.
PC Adam Reed was dismissed from Wiltshire Police without notice after a five-day misconduct hearing that ended on Friday.
He admitted he pulled down the probationary officer’s trouser zip, inserted his hand to make contact with his penis and shouted “it’s a small one” in front of colleagues at a police station.
Reed argued that it was “banter” and amounted to misconduct rather than gross misconduct, which would see him sacked.
But a misconduct panel ruled that Reed’s behaviour was gross misconduct.
He was dismissed without notice and barred from working as a police officer elsewhere in the UK.
The victim – named officer X in the hearing – said he was left “violated” by Reed, who he had only spoken to occasionally and never worked with directly.
It certainly qualifies as gross.
Guide of the Week
CDC issues bizarre guidance for having sex with monkeypox
Americans who think they might have been exposed to monkeypox should take precautions like masturbating 6 feet apart from their partner to prevent the spread of the virus, according to health officials.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention earlier this month issued a list of safe activities for sexually active patients to engage in. Among the recommendations are avoiding kissing and “having sex with your clothes on or covering areas where rash or sores are present.”
Patients and prospective patients are also advised to “wash your hands, fetish gear, sex toys and any fabrics” after having sex and “masturbate together at a distance of at least 6 feet, without touching each other and without touching any rash or sores.”
The odd guidance invoked New York City’s bizarre recommendation that sexually active people use “glory holes” during the coronavirus pandemic to prevent the spread of COVID-19.
The World Health Organization is investigating whether monkeypox can be sexually transmitted after the virus was detected in a patient’s semen.
The vast majority of the monkeypox cases in England were connected to sexually active gay men, health officials said last week.
Or you could try not being a sexually active gay man.
Ass of the Week
Buffalo Clinic Shooter Sentenced to Life in Prison Without Parole
Gregory Ulrich was convicted of first-degree premeditated murder on June 2nd for killing medical assistant Lindsay Overbay and four counts of attempted first-degree premeditated murder for seriously injuring four others at the Allina Crossroads Clinic on February 9th, 2021.
He was also convicted on one count of second-degree murder while committing a felony, three counts of first-degree assault, one count of second-degree assault, and one count of discharging an explosive device.
Under Minnesota law, Ulrich faced mandatory life in prison for the most serious charge of first-degree murder. He also received 18 years each for the attempted murder charges.
During the trial, Ulrich took the stand in his own defense and was the only witness called before the defense rested its case.
Against the advice of his attorneys, who were trying to dispel the accusation that this was premeditated, Ulrich explained how he had suffered back pain for almost 40 years, stemming from a workplace accident in 1977. He was reportedly upset that he had been cut off from pain medication and had made a video in December of 2020 saying he should get a pistol and shoot as many nurses as possible. He said he didn’t intend to kill anyone. He did intend to shoot people in the buttocks so they would “understand what pain is like down there.” After he shot the first victim, he said, “I lost control.”
His defense was that he’s a shitty ass-assin.
Rod of the Week
Man gets 25-years prison sentence for brutal murder by rectal insertion
A 41-year-old man was sentenced to 25 years in prison Thursday for brutally killing one of his employees by inserting a 70-centimeter rod into the victim’s rectum.
The Seoul Western District Court found the man, only identified by his surname Han, guilty of murdering the employee at a children’s gym in Seoul with the plastic stick, which ruptured his organs and caused his death in December of last year.
“Severe punishment is inevitable as his crime is bizarre and brutal, and he did not have any kind of respect for the victim,” the court said in the ruling.Han killed the victim in his 20s at the facility he owns in northwestern Seoul on Dec. 31, after being irritated by the employee’s unspecified behavior.
An autopsy showed a perforation in the anterior wall of the victim’s rectum and further ruptures in organs, including the heart and the liver.
Now that’s how you ass-assinate someone.
Pussy of the Week
Mitchell man arrested after punching and throwing cat feces at another male
The male victim told police he was at his home when Edward Haste became upset and took his shirt off which had cat feces on it and rubbed it in the other man’s face.
He then struck the male victim with his fist several times in the middle of his back and on his thigh.
Haste then picked up the lid that had cat feces on it and threw it in the male’s face. The feces went down the man’s face and into his mouth.
The male victim said he believed Haste was under the influence of drugs.
The male victim said this was not the first time Haste had attacked him. He was also attacked on Wednesday, June 8th. He said Haste had taken the male’s hearing aids and threw them on the ground. Haste then struck him several times in the head cutting the male’s forehead.
The first rule of Cat Shit Fight Club is: close your mouth.
Crapper of the Week
Deputies arrest naked man after he allegedly threatened bystanders, defecated in gas station
Deputies arrested a man outside a gas station after he reportedly defecated throughout the store and threatened customers and an employee.
The West Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office arrested Joel Pennington, 51, late Sunday night after Pennington reportedly tried to assault people in the area. When deputies arrived, they asked Pennington’s mother—who was also there — where he was. She replied he was in her van.
Pennington began screaming at deputies after they opened the van doors, and after verbal warnings, deputies used a taser on him twice. Pennington slid out of the vehicle and was handcuffed. While he was being escorted to the a deputy’s vehicle, Pennington jumped up and landed fully on his tailbone.
The cashier and the customers inside the store at the time later reported they had to force Pennington outside after he allegedly defecated throughout the entire store. Witnesses also reported Pennington tried to assault the cashier.
It is unclear whether Pennington was under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time.
Really? It’s unclear if the naked guy who shit all over the store was on drugs?
Sleeper of the Week
Delhi Man Kills Wife For Not Serving Food, Sleeps Next To Corpse
A man allegedly killed his wife following an argument that erupted as she refused to serve him food after both of them had alcohol together and later slept with the body not realising that she was dead, police said on Saturday.
The next morning, upon realising that he had killed his wife, the man fled with over ₹ 40,000 cash. He was, however, tracked down and arrested from another location in Delhi, they said.
Police identified the accused as Vinod Kumar Dubey (47), a resident of Sultanpur.
On Friday around 9.20 am, a caller informed police that Dubey beat up his 39-year-old wife Sonali and smothered her with a pillow during an argument, a senior officer said.
A police team inquired the caller and the people residing in the area about the accused. The location of the accused was tracked down and he was arrested.
Dubey disclosed that the couple drank alcohol together on Thursday night and when he asked her to bring food for him, she refused. This led to an argument between them and his wife slapped him…
In a fit of rage, he killed his wife.
I thought it was legal to kill your wife in India.
Spitter of the Week
Woman charged with felony after spitting on corpse in casket at funeral home
A Texas woman was charged with a felony after spitting on a corpse at a funeral home during a viewing, arrest records show.
According to an arrest affidavit, Laurie Lynn Hinds, 51, walked into a funeral home in Tyler, Texas, on Nov. 29, walked straight up to the casket, and spit on the corpse.
A witness on the scene said Hinds had animosity toward the family of the person in the casket.
Hinds was arrested June 5 and charged with state-jail felony abuse of corpse. She posted a $2,500 bond the next day.
She seems nice.
Mug of the Week
PA Man Sought For Felony Child Sex Assault, Incest, Rape, Other Charges, Police Say
Seen him? Authorities are seeking the public’s help locating a man wanted for felony child sex assault, incest, rape, and numerous other charges.
A warrant has been issued for the arrest of Benicio Antoin Benifield, 36, who has been charged with aggravated indecent assault of a child, aggravated indecent assault, felony rape under threat of forcible compulsion, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse with a person less than 16, felony indecent assault of a person less than 13, incest, corruption of minors, and other similar offenses, Palmer Township Police said in a release on Friday, June 17.
Benifield is described as a Black male with brown eyes and brown hair, police said. He stands about 5 feet tall and weighs about 225 pounds.
He’ll smile a lot less when he finds out what they do to child rapists in prison.
Rogue of the Week
A Charlotte man has been arrested for the act of bestiality with a dog, according to CMPD. The dog is undergoing an examination and treatment at Animal Care and Control.
CMPD said the incident happened on Sunday, June 12, in the 1400 block of Central Avenue.
The 911 caller witnessed a man, inside a burgundy Nissan Rogue, in the act of bestiality with a dog, CMPD said. According to the caller, there was no one else in the car.
As the car drove away, police said the caller was able to get photos of the car and provide a description of the vehicle, suspect, and dog.
On Wednesday, June 15, at 12:40 p.m., the vehicle was located on Central Avenue and the suspect was identified and an arrest warrant was obtained, CMPD said.
On Friday, June 17, the suspect, identified as Amari Lawrence, 31, was arrested and charged with crimes against nature.
What compelling reason was there for this scumbag to do this in public?
Bovine of the Week
Florida man dressed as cow among several arrested in drug house bust
Several people were arrested in a drug house bust in Florida, including one suspect taken to jail in a one-piece cow suit.
The Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office made the announcement Friday in a Facebook post.
According to the post, on Friday, members of the Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office Narcotics Task Force and the Special Response Team served a probable cause narcotics search warrant on a home in Okeechobee.
Methamphetamine, ammunition, and drug paraphernalia were located inside the home, leading to the arrests of Richard Anthony Bonnell, David Allen Lewis, Loren Johnston, Monique Rumsley, Karlie Lacey and Kimberly Stein.
Bonnell, charged with possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, among other charges, was taken into custody in the one-piece cow suit and a pink hat.
The sheriff’s office had the last laugh in their Facebook post, warning residents who want to deal drugs in their county to “consider MOOOOOO-ving.”
I’ve heard of a drug mule before but never a drug cow.
Feline of the Week
Woman eaten by 20 pet cats after collapsing dead
A woman was eaten by her 20 cats after she collapsed at her home and was not discovered by cops for two weeks.
Police were horrified when they discovered the partially eaten remains of the woman – who has not been named – after receiving a call from a concerned co-worker.
The woman was a cat breeder who kept the 20 giant Maine Coon pedigree cats in her home.
Cops were alerted by one of her employees who said she could not contact her boss.
Inside her home, police found her partially eaten body surrounded by the hungry cats.
Police believe she had been dead for two weeks as they probed her decomposing remains.
She was found at the property in Bataysk, Rostov region, Russia.
“The cats were left alone on their own for two weeks, there was no food, so what else to eat?” said one animal rescue expert who cared for some of the surviving cats.
“It’s understandable right? They ate what there was.”
And some of the healthier cats have now been rehomed to new owners for just £29 each.
It is not known, reports local media, whether their new owners were told of their taste for human flesh.
“In Soviet Russia, pussy easts you.” – Yakov Smirnoff
Squatter of the Week
Woman removes knickers and sits on bloke’s face ‘for £100 bet’ in packed beer garden
A video circulating online shows a woman remove her underwear before squatting on a bloke’s face, apparently for a bet, in a packed beer garden.
The clip was allegedly shot at music venue Chinnerys in Southend, Essex as the sun beat down on a beer garden beside a busy road.
Several blokes cheer on the woman as she begins to squat, with one yelling “100 quid, go, go!” as the man recording the grim clip repeats the figure.
The woman, who looks to be in her mid to late forties, then covers her face and squats as the group of men cheer.
She then appears to gyrate on the younger man’s face, before someone shouts “Oh! She’s loving it.”
Some people cover their faces in disbelief while others laugh.
At one point in the clip two security guards or police officers appear behind the fences, apparently ready to intervene.
The woman is then seen hurridly pulling up her underwear.
She left a snail trail that police were able to follow and arrest her.
WTF? Off of the Week
Tombstone with father’s hidden message is causing controversy
A tombstone in Iowa is causing a bit of a stir because of a message hidden in plain sight that some people find offensive.
Each tombstone reads something different – some even with hidden messages, like the one for Steven Paul Owens.
The first letter of each phrase on his tombstone in the Warren-Powers Cemetery reads “F— off.”
It’s a phrase the Owens family said he shared often and jokingly.
“It was definitely his term of endearment. If he didn’t like you, he didn’t speak to you. It’s just who he was,” said Steven’s daughter Lindsay Owens.
It’s something his family did as a harmless way to remember him, but it has been called into question by the cemetery.
Staff said they’ve been against the headstone from the beginning, as profanity has no place where loved ones are laid to rest for eternity.
Now, the family hopes they don’t have to get rid of the gravestone.
“No one’s forcing anyone to come out and look at it. That’s a choice that you make. We didn’t do it to offend anyone, make anyone mad or hurt anyone’s feelings. We did it because it was our father, and we love him, and that’s how we remember him,” Steven’s son Zachary Owens said.
The family should change it to “Suck my rotting corpse dick!” to appease the cemetery Karens.
