On this 4th of July weekend, America-hating liberals are complaining their rights have been stripped away because they may not be able to kill unborn babies is certain states. The good news for them is that they are still free to commit all sorts of WTF? acts like these:
Headline of the Week
Scientists ‘don’t know’ how gene experiment created army of angry hamsters
Scientists have created an army of angry hamsters – and they have no idea how.
A group of experts from Georgia State University had used the small beasts in a gene-editing experiment.
The experiment, called CRISPR-Cas9, was meant to help them to turn genes on and off in cells.
And they were using Syrian hamsters to work out how to do this.
They were looking to turn off the vasopressin receptor in the genes, which is essentially the hormone capable of causing aggression.
But rather than turning it off, they appeared to have made the hamster hyper aggressive instead.
The team was headed by professors Elliot Albers and Kim Huhman.
They said: “We anticipated that if we eliminated vasopressin activity, we would reduce both aggression and social communication.”
But the opposite happened.
They explained: “We don’t understand this system as well as we thought we did.
It’s because they used Syrian hamsters who are known jihadists.
Squeeze of the Week
Landguards squeeze chief’s testicles at his palace over land
The chief of Awutu Oshimpo, in the Awutu Traditional Council of the Central Region, Nai Kofi Okyere has been assaulted and had his testicles squeezed by some unknown machomen in his palace.
The armed men numbered about ten stormed the palace in a Rambo style when the chiefs and their elders were waiting for the Awutu Senya West District Chief Executive to hold a meeting on how to deal with refuse disposal in the area.
The armed men held the chiefs and the elders hostage and subjected them to beatings as some had to run for their lives.
According to a report by Adom Fm, the Ankobeahene, Nai Oshimpo Acheampong, was also attacked with his penis and testicles squeezed.
The group, allegedly hired by some family members, invaded the venue and attacked the chiefs while announcing their destoolment.
Nai Kofi Okyere, who sustained cutlass wounds, said their beatings were like a blockbuster movie.
WTF? is destoolment?
Cat Call of the Week
A man in Ohio has had to have both of his testicles removed after he discovered they were making a hissing noise.
The unnamed man went to a hospital complaining of the discomfort and noise coming from his testicles, according to the American Journal of Case Reports.
While in the hospital the man also had a swollen face and was struggling to breathe.
Scans from the hospital revealed the man’s lungs had filled up with too much air and doctors had to put two plastic tubes into his throat to drain the excess air.
The man was released from the hospital three days later but had pain in his scrotum and abdomen for two more years.
An open wound from an earlier testicle surgery was found to be the source of the man’s discomfort and the hissing noise coming from his scrotum.
Doctors had to remove both the man’s testicles to try to resolve his problem but were unsure if it worked or not.
Every dirtbag in NYC wishes he had a set of balls that could whistle at the ladies.
Cup Holder of the Week
Frisky orangutan grabs woman’s breasts, lays on sloppy kiss at zoo
A tourist’s trip to a zoo got intimate real fast when an orangutan fondled and kissed her in a moment captured on video.
The woman was visiting Safari World in Bangkok in late June when the frisky animal got a little handsy and copped a feel.
In a video, the primate can be seen grabbing her breasts and even giving her a kiss on the cheek when she was attempting to pose for a photo.
The woman was sitting down on a swing at the zoo ready for a sweet touristy snap when the cheeky ape comes up behind her and paws at her, cupping her breasts before giving her several attempted kisses on her cheek.
The ape grins wildly as people take photos and film the interaction.
This a has a creepy Joe Biden vibe to it.
Censorship of the Week
In one of the most vulgar things that you are ever likely to hear, an escape artist has shared how he once escaped from inside of a dead cow by exiting through its bum.
Welsh stuntman and escape artist Jonathan Goodwin recently revealed what happened on the ‘incredibly difficult’ stunt on an episode on the Manatomy podcast with Danny Wallace and Phil Hilton.
Goodwin, who previous stunts had included him escaping from 50,000 bees, did the stunt for a 2005 Channel 4 show called The Seven Stupidest Things to Escape From. It was inspired by a stunt once performed by the great Harry Houdini.
However, Houdini didn’t have to contend with TV executives meaning that Goodwin’s replication of the stunt has never seen the light of day.
“Houdini was apparently sewn up inside a dead whale and tried to escape. I just thought, ‘That’s utterly arbitrary’,” Goodwin explained, adding: “Normally an escape is based on something everybody knows it’s very difficult to escape from – like a prison or a safe or whatever.”
While it might not seem that hard to get hold of a dead cow, Goodwin said that the biggest problem was getting anyone to agree to it as it was happening at the tail end of the mad cow disease crisis so they had to get a cow that was already due to be slaughtered.
Once they had their cow, Goodwin says that it felt like he was being put inside “a big shoe – with legs” as he was literally tied up from inside.
“I managed to get my hand out of the cow and my dad, who’s an accidental comedy genius, walks over and shakes my hand through the arse of the cow.”
Sadly Channel 4 wouldn’t air the footage. “They saw it they went, ‘We can’t put that on television’” but Goodwin doesn’t hold any grudges against the station and instead regards as something of an achievement saying: “Channel 4 back in the day, that’s a badge of honour that they refused to show it, because they would do anything.”
What a shitty magic trick.
Litter of the Week
German man suspected of dumping severed head on steps of Bonn court
Police in Germany arrested a suspect who is accused of dumping a human head in front of the Bonn district court Tuesday evening.
The decapitated body of the victim, who was described as a 44-year-old homeless man, was found less than a mile away on the Rhine River.
Local police did not name the suspect, only saying he is a 38-year-old man from the Bonn area who is also believed to be homeless, reported the local newspaper General-Anzeiger. It’s unknown at this time whether the two men knew each other.
Police responded to the stately courthouse after getting calls at around 5:30 p.m. from eyewitnesses, saying that they had observed the suspect placing the human head on the front steps.
“At first we thought there was an object there,” a young man who was sitting with his friends at a bar overlooking the courthouse said. “Only afterwards did we recognize the hair.”
Officers found the suspect crouching on the steps of a neighboring courthouse and took him into custody without incident.
Police said the suspect was known to them from previous interactions related to drug offenses.
The man explained that he thought the sign reading “Fine for Littering” meant it was okay to litter.
Fruit of the Week
A local man will spend several years in prison after two incidents at Virginia Beach Correctional Center last year in which he attacked Virginia Beach Sheriff’s Office deputies, including one that caused a deputy to receive 18 stitches on his head.
Cori Jermaine Fields, Jr., 23, pleaded guilty to assault and battery of a law enforcement officer and malicious wounding of a law enforcement officer at a hearing Monday in Virginia Beach Circuit Court.
The charges stemmed from two separate incidents in March and July 2021.
According to a signed stipulation of facts filed in Virginia Beach Circuit Court, on March 17, 2021, a Virginia Beach Sheriff’s Office deputy was conducting rounds in the cell block of the Virginia Beach Correctional Center where Fields was being housed. As the deputy approached Fields’ cell, Fields reached through the feed slot and threw fecal matter on the deputy, hitting him on the face and all over his uniform.
Officials say the second offense occurred on July 15, 2021, when Fields, still an inmate at the Virginia Beach Correctional Center, hit a VBSO deputy in the head with a cane. The force of the strike was so hard it broke the cane into two pieces, and the deputy received 18 stitches to his head.
After the attack, Fields stated he was upset because he had not received an apple.
This is like comparing apples to orange jumpsuits.
Vegetable of the Week
Vegan mom starved toddler to death with diet of raw vegetables, fruit
A Florida vegan mother has been found guilty of murdering her 18-month-old son after only feeding him raw fruits and vegetables.
Sheila O’Leary, 39, is facing life in prison after a jury convicted her Wednesday of murder and a string of child abuse charges over the 2019 death of her toddler, Ezra O’Leary, the News Press reported.
Her little boy weighed just 17 pounds — seven pounds below average — when his parents noticed he had stopped breathing.
O’Leary and her husband, Ryan O’Leary, told police that Ezra followed a strict vegan diet — but that he was also breast fed.
They said the boy hadn’t eaten for about a week prior to his death and was having trouble sleeping.
An autopsy found the little boy died of malnutrition complications.
Prosecutors accused the mother of failing to seek proper medical care for her son when she realized he was ill.
“She chose to disregard his cries,” Assistant State Attorney Sara Miller said during closing arguments.
She’s pretty plump for a vegan who starves her kids to death.
Clean Up of the Week
Man Masturbated Onto Grocery Store Worker, Arrested: Police
A Woodbridge man was arrested on three sex-related charges after he exposed himself, masturbated and left a bodily fluid on a female worker at the Food Lion grocery store in Manassas on Friday, authorities said.
The worker was not injured in the incident, the Prince William County Police Department said in its report.
Investigators identified the accused as Michael Earl Alexander, 31, of Woodbridge.
Alexander was charged with sexual battery, indecent exposure and obscene sexual display, according to a police report.
Authorities said the incident occurred around 9:35 a.m. Friday at the Food Lion on Hoadly Road in Manassas. Surveillance footage showed the man entering the story around 8:50 a.m. and watching a female employee through the aisles, police said.
At one point, the man approached the worker before walking away again. The woman then went back to stocking the aisles, according to the police report.
Authorities said the man approached the worker again while her back was turned. He was exposing himself and making masturbatory motions, according to the police report. The worker said she felt an unknown fluid on her pants as the man walked away.
In a report, the police department said officers believe the woman’s clothing was soiled by a bodily fluid related to the suspect’s obscene actions.
Feeling the pinch of inflation at the grocery store suddenly has a new meaning.
Flamer of the Week
Police Say Man Killed Gay Lover, Burned Corpse To Hide Relationship
Police in Philadelphia arrested a man they say killed his gay lover and left the burning corpse in a local park in an effort to hide the pair’s sexual relationship.
Kylen Pratt, 20, was taken into custody Wednesday, June 15, and charged with the murder of Naasir Johnson, 20, whose charred remains were discovered just after noon on February 20 on a cobblestone trail in Fairmount Park.
Police believe the two men were romantically involved and Pratt, known locally as 29th Street Rich, killed the openly gay Naasir after the man threatened to go public with their relationship, according to Metro Weekly.
Police believe Pratt shot and killed Johnson at his home in North Philadelphia. The medical examiner found the cause of death to be a gunshot wound to the neck. Police allege Pratt later transported the body to Fairmount Park where it was discovered by passersby on February 20.
Pratt has been charged with murder, possessing an instrument of a crime, abuse of a corpse, and tampering with evidence.
Yet another white supremacist hate crime against the LGBT community.
The Other Flamer of the Week
Florida man sets boss’s house on fire ‘because spirits told him to’, deputies say
A Florida man was arrested Wednesday after deputies said he was caught on camera setting his boss’s house on fire in early May because “spirits” told him to.
Deputies said Thanh Ha, 54, was caught on multiple surveillance videos approaching the newly constructed St. Petersburg home around 11:50 a.m. on May 3 while riding a bicycle. Ha then locked the bike to a nearby stop sign and walked to the home while attempting to cover his face with his shirt, arrest documents stated.
Five minutes later, Ha was captured on camera running from the home back to his bicycle before he rode away.
Deputies said Ha was identified by the potential buyers as one of their employees.
Ha told deputies he was not upset at his employer and started the fire “because ‘spirits’ told him to,” documents added.
By “spirits” he meant liquor.
Rebel of the Week
Brawl breaks out at Eagles concert during iconic song ‘Take It Easy’
This fan certainly didn’t “Take It Easy” while slugging it out at an Eagles concert in the UK.
A concertgoer attending a performance by the classic rock group at Hyde Park in London last Sunday was caught on camera brawling with multiple security guards as the band was playing their iconic hit single, according to footage obtained by Metro UK.
The man, dressed in a black Eagles shirt and pair of shorts, is seen punching at one of the guards on the ground while he shoved another one away from him. It eventually took three guards in neon colors to get the man under control.
As “Take It Easy” was still playing, footage showed security physically restraining the rowdy fan. One guard had his arms around the man while another was arguing with him, the video shows.
As others were escorted out, one astute Eagles fan casually said on the video, “You’ve got to take it easy.”
And when they played “Hotel California” the man booked an Air BnB in New York because he plays by his own rules.
McMoron of the Week
Pennsylvania teen told police she killed sister, would have done it sooner for McDonald’s
A disturbed teenage girl who allegedly killed her older sister told cops she “would have killed someone sooner” if she knew she would get to eat McDonald’s, according to reports.
Claire Miller, 14, was provided with the fast-food breakfast after she was accused of fatally stabbing her 19-year-old disabled sister, Helen, in 2021, according to the Patriot-News.
“Oooh, McDonald’s,” Manheim Township police officer John Martin said Miller told police during a Tuesday court hearing. “I would have killed someone sooner if I knew I was going to get McDonald’s.”
While sitting in her juvenile detention cell, she also admitted she “Michael Myers-ed” her sister, referring to the character from the 1978 horror movie “Halloween.”
The frightening comment came when Miller heard her cellphone go off with the movie’s theme song, according to the Patriot-News.
The strange revelations came out during a hearing this week to determine whether Miller, now 16, should be tried as an adult after she was accused of killing her sleeping sister in her bed with a kitchen knife in the family home last year.
I would stab someone to not have to eat McDonald’s.
WTF? of the Week
Driver oblivious to dead body stuck to roof of car after she mowed him down
An driver who slammed into a motorist didn’t realise that his dead body was stuck to the top of her car as she drove on.
The pensioner, 67, had crashed into the 26-year-old motorist while turning down a street and didn’t even notice she had struck, killed and carried the bloke for over a mile.
She was eventually stopped by members of the public, with the driver pulling over after being told she was carrying the deceased man after crashing into him at an intersection.
The incident, which occurred in the Malaysian state of Kuala Selangor, is said to have left the pensioner in shock.
She failed to stop at an intersection which caused the biker to crash into the side of her Proton sedan, after which the unnamed woman continued driving.
Kuala Selangor police chief Ramli Kasa said: “The crash led the motorcyclist to be thrown onto the roof of the car and he died on the spot.”
The victim has since been taken to hospital for an autopsy while the 67-year-old required medical assistance at the scene following minor injuries to her lower back.
Sometimes stereotypes are true.
