This week Joe Biden and the democrats stole another almost trillion taxpayer dollars and set it on fire. Here’s some WTF? that is much less devastating and decidedly funnier:
Headline of the Week
Man, 66, caught on camera ‘using cat to masturbate’ claims it’s ‘just a guy thing’
Harold Stanley Kenderdine, 66 and from Pennsylvania, US, has been charged with having sexual intercourse with an animal and cruelty to animals after admitting to the sick act.
According to NorthCentralPA.com, his wife Sonja told her son Nathan and daughter-in-law Alexandra that her husband (Nathan’s step-father) had gone into their bedroom several times over the past month.
The two couples were living together at the time, although Alexandra told police that she and Nathan did not get along with Kenderdine.
Sonja suggested that Nathan and Alexandra put a lock on the bedroom door, but Alexandra went one step further and installed a Blink indoor security camera on July 13, according to state trooper Joel Miles.
When she was out of the house the next day, Alexandra got notifications about activity in the bedroom at around 11.15am.
Kenderdine was allegedly seen walking over to where her cat Callie was sleeping, picking it up with one hand on his own crotch before gripping the cat by the sides and thrusting himself against it.
His penis could clearly be seen poking out of his zipper as he walked around the bed, according to Miles.
He then allegedly continued to masturbate before leaving the room.
When confronted by police, Kenderdine reportedly told them that it was “just a guy thing”.
No, it’s definitely not.
Cutter of the Week
Woman cuts off boyfriends penis for attempted rape of 14-year-old daughter: ‘no regrets’
A woman in India cut off her boyfriend’s “private parts” after claiming to have caught him trying to rape her 14-year-old daughter.
The woman, 36, has not been named in reporting, had lived with her boyfriend for two years after separating from an alcoholic husband. She came home after a day working on a farm and said she caught her boyfriend “red-handed.”
“He even attacked me while I was trying to save my daughter, so I brought a knife from the kitchen and chopped off his private parts to teach him a lesson,” the woman told The Times of India. “I have no regrets for what I did.”
Police in the Mahewaganj region of Uttar Pradesh – an area east of New Delhi – arrested the boyfriend, 32, on charges of rape under a child sexual abuse law in India. Officers referred him for treatment since they found him in “critical” condition.
Police did not say if the mother would also face charges for her actions, but women in India have on occasion taken similar action when faced with sexual threat or violence in India. The action is called “bobbitising” after Lorena Bobbit who first made headlines in 1993 for cutting off her husband’s genitals.
Lesson learned.
Dreamer of the Week
Reactions as 42-year-old man cut off his penis while dreaming of slaughtering a goat to prepare food
Kofi Atta, also known as Wofa Atta, age 42, of Assin Fosu in the central region is said to have cut off his penis while dreaming.
The victim revealed that he had a dream where he was slaughtering a goat to help his wife prepare an evening meal.
He said he woke up on Friday, August 12 only to see his penis chopped off.
According to Accra-based GHOne TV, on Monday, August 15, the wife of the man, Adwoa Konadu received a phone call from a neighbour who told her about the shocking incident.
When she returned home, she discovered her husband bleeding from his manhood on a chamber pot.
Due to the gravity of the situation, the wife got her husband a diaper to help reduce blood flow and then drove him to St. Francis Zavier Catholic hospital in Assin Fosu.
Dream big but don’t sleep with a knife.
Ringer of the Week
Embarrassed bloke gets sex toy stuck on manhood – and has to have it removed by firemen
A man had himself an embarrassing encounter with firemen after members of the emergency service had to cut a titanium ring off of his penis.
The 55-year-old bloke put the makeshift toy on his manhood and spent four weeks with the ring stuck to him.
Medical officials that were sought out by the man were unable to help relieve his makeshift ring troubles, so the man from Sukabumi, West Java, headed home and left the ring stuck on himself.
Firemen eventually had to intervene, with the emergency services called to the man’s home to deal with the immense pain the ring was causing to his genitals.
The unbearable pain and makeshift ring had baffled firemen, who were confused when asked if they could remove the accessory from the bloke’s manhood.
Station chief Sudrajat said: ‘We received an emergency call. We were a little surprised when we found out that what had to be removed was the ring stuck on the penis.”
The distressed man, whose initials were given as DL, was saved by firefighters using a series of power tools to cut him loose from his metal manhood prison.
Rescuers were forced to pin the bloke down as they performed their power tool operation, as DL kept fidgeting and worrying they’d slice straight through and injure his penis.
“According to his family, the ring has been in place for a long time. But he’s only been feeling pain for the last few days.
It’s nice that he has the kind of family he can share things like this with.
Juggler of the Week
Plastic surgery-obsessed model says size T boobs make sex even better
A woman who claims to have the “biggest breasts in Europe” says her curves make her better in bed.
Martina Big, a 34-year-old model from Germany, has boosted her boobs to size T with the help of plastic surgery.
And she insists tweaking her looks keeps her bedroom activities spicy.
In a recent video, the ex-flight attendant said: “It’s different. That’s clear. After each fill-up, the thrill is there again.
“Because you always have to try it again! It never gets boring.”
While you may think Martina’s big bust gets in the way of bonking, she insists this isn’t the case.
She added: “The media always says it’s so dangerous – but I haven’t noticed anything.”
For anyone with eyeballs however, sex with her is decidedly worse.
Tagger of the Week
Man arrested after using fecal matter to graffiti school door
An arrest was made Wednesday and a La Crosse man charged Thursday after the discovery of a harmful image created with human fecal matter.
Alfredo Alanis III, 34, was charged Thursday with felony graffiti and disorderly conduct, both with a hate crime enhancer.
According to the criminal complaint, officers on Aug. 13 were dispatched on a vandalism complaint at Logan High School. Officers found a swastika graffitied on a glass door of the school. It was determined the image was made using human fecal matter; a bag containing soiled napkins was hanging on the door.
A review of security footage from the School District of La Crosse showed the suspect to be Alanis, who has a criminal history.
On Wednesday, officers spotted Alanis walking on a South Side street and took him into custody.
Art critics were quick to defend Alanis, saying his use of negative space was nothing short of genius.
Rockers of the Week
Scientists Discover Monkeys Use Stones as Sex Toys
A group of long-tailed macaques in Indonesia have been observed by scientists to masturbate using stone tools.
Researchers from the University of Lethbridge in Canada, studying a group of monkeys at the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia, found that when the macaques would rub or tap their genitals with rocks or stones, they would subsequently show signs of sexual arousal.
In a study published in the journal Ethology: International Journal of Behavioral Biology, the scientists describe how the stone-tapping behavior would be followed by penile erection, or a previously present erection would last significantly longer if the monkey was stone-tapping compared to if it wasn’t. These genital-stimulating behaviors were seen significantly more often in adolescent males than in males of any other age group.
Despite the difficulty in measuring female sexual arousal due to the lack of obvious exterior change, the researchers also found that the female monkeys were selective in the shape and size of rock that they used to rub their genitals, preferring rough edges or angular shapes.
“The fact that no other stone handling patterns have a temporal association with penile erection suggests that genital stone-tapping/rubbing is distinctly sexually motivated, compared with other seemingly playful actions,” wrote the authors in the paper.
Now you know how to rock a monkey’s world.
Buyer of the Week
Jeremy Lee Pauley, 40, who is known for purchasing various bones and teeth that he restores and resells, was arrested for trying to buy the corpse from a mortuary worker online.
Some of Pauley’s eerie purchases have included pelvis ‘antiques’ and ‘very old’ skulls from children.
Pauly allegedly purchased $4,000 worth of human remains from Candace Scott, who police say stole them from a mortuary partnered with the University of Arkansas.
The human remains included half a head, a whole head, three brains, a heart, a liver, a lung, two kidneys, a female pelvis, a torso with a nipple, and four human hands.
The shop owner was set to receive the shipment from Scott in Pennsylvania, but police intercepted the remains while they were in transit.
He was arrested on Thursday following an investigation that started on June 14 when police received a tip about Pauley’s suspicious activity and his collections.
Officers were astonished by the finding with Cumberland District Attorney calling the investigation ‘bizarre.’
Sean M. McCormack said: ‘This is the most bizarre investigations I have encountered in my thirty-three years as a prosecutor.
The caller that tipped off the police said they found ‘several’ five-gallon buckets of human remains in Pauley’s basement.
Investigators later recovered the remains, that included human brains, hearts, livers, skin, and lungs.
Dr. Wayne Ross confirmed the remains from Pauley’s basement were human body parts.
Meanwhile, a University of Arkansas spokesperson said the remains sold to Pauley were donated to the Medical Sciences sector of the school – but they were later stolen from the mortuary by an employee.
Weirdest chop shop ever.
Kisser of the Week
Tennessee woman charged with murder for meth-laced kiss with inmate
A Tennessee woman allegedly slipped meth to an inmate though a kiss during a jailhouse visit –and was hit with murder charges after the prisoner died, authorities said.
Rachel Dollard, 33, allegedly hid a balloon containing a half-ounce of speed in her mouth and passed it orally to Joshua Brown at the Turney Center Industrial Complex in Only in February, the Tennessee Department of Correction said in a statement Tuesday.
Brown — who had been serving an 11-year sentence on drug-related charges — overdosed and died at a local hospital, the corrections department said.
Dollard was arrested last weekend for the allegedly deadly smooch and charged with second-degree murder and smuggling contraband into the prison, according to officials.
“This incident points to the real dangers of introducing contraband into prisons and the consequences that follow,” said David Imhof, Director of TDOC’s Office of Investigations and Conduct.
“Our agency will pursue prosecution against any individual who threatens the safety and security of our staff, the men and women in our custody, and our facilities.”
Hillbilly Romeo and Juliette.
Stabber of the Week
Armless Florida man accused of stabbing tourist
A homeless Florida man with no arms has been arrested for stabbing a tourist with scissors using his feet, police say.
Jonathan Dale Crenshaw, a homeless artist from South Beach, Fla., was arrested Tuesday and charged with aggravated battery after he allegedly stabbed Cesar Coronado, a visiting tourist from Chicago, according to NBC 6 Miami.
According to a witness, Coronado was asking Crenshaw for directions when the man suddenly attacked him, stabbing him in the arm before fleeing on foot.
“I’m not from here, and this is not what I came for. I came for a vacation,” Coronado told NBC 6. “I just said, ‘do you know where this is?’ but as soon as I talked, the only thing he reacted was — he just cut me.”
He did much better that the one-legged man in the ass-kicking contest.
Shooter of the Week
Florida man who shot, killed girlfriend may have been aiming at her ex-boyfriend, police say
The manhunt for a Daytona Beach murder suspect ended hours after a deadly shooting in an alleged love triangle. Police captured Chad Keene, 37, near U.S. Highway 1 in Ormond Beach late Tuesday afternoon.
Investigators said they believe Keene may have accidentally shot and killed his girlfriend when he intended to shoot her ex-boyfriend instead.
According to police, the woman, later identified as 30-year-old Karli Elliott, and her ex-boyfriend got into an argument outside a 7-Eleven store near Glenview and Seabreeze boulevards on Tuesday morning. After the argument, the woman reportedly called her current boyfriend, identified as Keene, who came to the same area and at some point and fired a gun.
Elliott was shot and taken to the hospital, where she died, police said. Police believe Keene, 37, intended to shoot her ex-boyfriend, who has not been identified.
“So the boyfriend responds over to the Glenview area, and then he confronts the ex-boyfriend and that is when one shot is fired. We don’t believe that Karli was the intended victim. We believe the ex-boyfriend was the intended victim,” said Daytona Beach Police Chief Jakari Young.
Chivalry is not dead.
Honker of the Week
Nose of extreme monkeypox patient starts to rot after doctors said it was sunburn
A man’s nose has started to rot in one of the most shocking cases of monkeypox seen so far.
From Germany, the 40-year-old noticed a red spot appearing on his nose – but when he went to his doctor he was told it was sunburn.
The situation continued to get worse though, and soon the new lesion turned black.
Sores filled with puss began to crop up all over his body, particularly around his mouth and on his penis, says medical journal Infection.
After this development, the man, whose name has not been made public, was tested for monkeypox.
He was given anti-virals and had tests done for STIs – the findings concluded he had both HIV and syphilis.
He told the doctors it was the first time he had been tested – but the syphilis had spread to his organs it had developed so much.
Meanwhile, further testing found that his HIV had developed into AIDS.
The authors of the study said that he was immunocompromised by HIV, which had caused the severe nature of his symptoms.
It made him vulnerable to necrosis, which is where body tissue can die despite being part of a living person.
The doctors should tell this dude about condoms.
Lover of the Week
Teenage girl injects herself with boyfriend’s HIV-positive blood to ‘prove her love’
A teenager has injected herself with her boyfriend’s HIV-positive blood to prove that her love is real.
From Assam in northeast India, she took the horrifying risk as the ultimate act of commitment.
Kalinga TV reports that the pair met through Facebook and had been together for around three and a half years prior to the injection.
The 15-year-old’s family are understood to have taken legal action against the boyfriend after finding out about the injection.
From the town of Hajo, he has now been detained by police while the girl is understood to be under the watch of doctors.
The girl is said to have known the risk she was taking when she used the syringe to inject herself, although there is no information yet on whether or not the male was aware of what her intentions were.
The things we do for love.
F*ckers of the Week
Couple accused of having sex in front of kids while riding ferris wheel at Cedar Point
A 32-year-old couple is accused of having sex on a Cedar Point ferris wheel in front of children who told police they could feel the cart shaking and hear the couple laughing.
The incident happened after 8:30 p.m. Sunday (Aug. 14) on the Giant Wheel at the Sandusky amusement park, according to NBC affiliate WKYC.
David Davis, 32, of Florida, and Heather Johnston, 32, of Ohio, are accused of having sex inside the cart ahead of two women and two girls on the Giant Wheel.
The four witnesses told investigators they could clearly see the couple’s private areas and feel the cart shaking, according to police. Davis and Johnston knew they were being watched, but they continued to have sex, while laughing, the witnesses told Sandusky police.
The pair initially denied having sex on the ferris wheel, claiming Johnston was picking up a pack of cigarettes, authorities said. When they learned that two of the witnesses were minors, they confessed, according to officials.
Davis and Johnston were taken to the Erie County Jail and charged with public indecency. They received a first-degree misdemeanor since the alleged incident happened in front of children, police said. Both could face up to 180 days in jail.
Let me see them do it on the rollercoaster and then I’ll be impressed.
WTF? of the Week
Pennsylvania driver admits to plowing into crowd, killing mom with hammer
A deranged Pennsylvania man has admitted to plowing his car into a crowd of people, killing one and wounding 17 others, before he drove home and murdered his mother with a hammer.
Adrian Oswaldo Sura Reyes, a 24-year-old from Nescopeck, reportedly got into an argument with his mother before hopping into a vehicle and driving to neighboring Berwick, where the mass-casualty crash occurred, according to a criminal complaint obtained by WYOU.
Cops said he drove by the Intoxicology Department bar where a crowd had gathered for a fundraiser for the families of 10 people who were tragically killed in a fire earlier this month. He turned around after he decided to drive into the crowd.
Reyes told police he was just tired of fighting with his mother.
He barreled into the crowd around 6:15 p.m., killing 50-year-old Rebecca L. Reese and sending 17 others to the hospital.
“I didn’t ram ’em, I just ran them over,” Reyes said to police, according to the affidavit.
After the crash, Reyes drove back home. When he arrived, he saw his mother standing outside in the street. Cops said he floored the gas and crashed into her with the front of his car.
He told police he got a hammer from his car and bashed his mother in the head four or five times with it. When police arrived, they found the woman dead and arrested Reyes.
No seriously, WTF? is that thing?
