Hillary Clinton’s delusions know no bounds. She thinks there’s a “vast right-wing conspiracy” against her, that the Russians stole the 2016 election from her, and apparently that she’s too damn sexy in skirts. According to the serial loser, she started wearing pantsuits because she was way too hot looking in skirts. Gee, I thought she started wearing pantsuits because she has fat legs and cankles.
In Hillary’s new unwatchable show “Gutsy” she revealed the mystery of the pantsuits because she honestly believes anyone gives a shit.
It all started 1995 when she was first lady and travelled to Brazil.
“I was sitting on a couch and the press was let in. There were a bunch of them shooting up,” said Hillary.
Shooting up? Is she talking about press photographers or heroin addicts?
“All of a sudden the White House gets alerted to these billboards that show me sitting down with, I thought, my legs together. But the way it’s shot, it’s sort of suggestive,” Hillary said.
It turns out that Brazilian lingerie company Duloren used an upskirt shot of Hillary. She claims they were using her to sell lingerie but I think they were selling an appetite suppressant.
But wait, there’s more. Hillary also accused the American press of trying to get beaver shots.
“I also begin to have the experience of having photographers all the time – I’d be on a stage, I’d be climbing stairs, and they’d be below me,” Hillary said
If Bill Clinton doesn’t want to see that thing, why would anyone else? He clearly has very low standards and if he won’t touch it, nobody else would either.
I couldn’t deal with it, so I started wearing pants,” said Hillary.
So there you go: Hillary claims she started wearing pantsuits because the press was trying to sexualize her. She covered up her legs because in her mind, she was too damn sexy in skirts.
The real reason of course is that Hillary’s legs are pretty gross.
I remember back when the Clintons were in the White House and Dennis Miller made a joke about he legs. Miller was doing his show on HBO and showed a picture of Hillary in a bathing suit. He said something to the effect of: “The first lady doesn’t want you to think those are her legs but rather two playful manatees gently nipping at her hips.”
I actually looked for the picture and thankfully couldn’t find it.
Coincidentally enough, or not, Miller made that joke in 1995, the same year Hillary switched to pantsuits.
The biggest reason we know Hillary didn’t start wearing pantsuits because the press was trying to sexualize her is because that’s the story she’s telling and she’s a liar. Whatever she says is the exact opposite of the truth. If she says she was too sexy in skirts the real reason is because she was too unsexy in skirts.
So with the mystery of the pantsuits unraveled now we have to focus on the mystery of why Apple + TV thinks anyone wants to watch Hillary Clinton talk about anything. She already has a podcast nobody listens too. Does she really need a TV show nobody watches as well?
