Joe Biden Wants Us To Compare Him To Satan

When Joe Biden gives a speech, those aren’t his words unless he goes off script, which is always hilarious. When he issues a statement, he didn’t write it as evidenced by him talking to a dead Congresswoman he had publicly mourned. He also doesn’t run his Twitter account, but for the first time ever, he may have written one in which he asks us to compare him to Satan.

Take a look at this modern art masterpiece:

Well, the alternative to God is Satan so Joe really wants us to compare him to the Devil. It’s more evident that Biden was going for this because he compared his unChristian anti-Catholic love of killing unborn babies with the Republicans’ desire to save innocent lives. I’d say Evil Joe is right there with Lucifer on that.

And since Joe really wants us to compare him to Satan, I’m more that willing to do so. Let’s break open the 7 Seals of Beezelbiden:

1 – Satan is a liar and so is Biden, so that have that in common. Then again, Satan’s lies are meant to deceive while Biden’s are largely a result of his crippling dementia.

2 – Satan was cast out of Heaven for challenging God while Biden was cast out of the 1988 democratic primaries for plagiarism.

3 – Satan tempted Jesus with all of the kingdoms of the world while Biden tempted little kids to rub his hairy legs in a swimming pool.

4 – Satan was defeated by the Archangel Micheal while Biden has been beaten by Micheal Dukakis, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and a whole host of goofballs and dorks. Biden did allegedly beat Corn Pop, so he’s got that going for him.

5 – Satan was chained and hurled into the Abyss for a thousand years while Biden got locked in the White House because he doesn’t know how doors work.

6 – The Devil’s son is anyone who rejects God like Hitler or Kathy Griffin, while Joe Biden’s son is a crackhead who blew all of his money on Russian hookers and slept with his underage niece. I guess that one is pretty close.

7 – Satan tortures souls of the wicked while Biden tortures women and little children with unwanted touching and sniffing.

In a recent 60 Minutes interview, Biden was asked if he was physically and mentally capable of doing the job of president. He said something about pudding, which means no, but what he was trying to say is, look at his record to decide if he is up to the task.

Obviously, asking people to judge him by what he’s done was a mistake so now Biden is saying, “Hey, compare me to Satan. I bet I don’t look so bad now.”

Again Joe Biden is wrong because at least Satan knows where he lives, who he’s married to, and what his job is.