The biggest WTF? this week was the conspicuous absence of the Red Wave. Here’s some other WTF? that should have failed to appear instead:
Headline of the Week
Taliban Takes Lamb Testicles Off The Menu As Bigger Issues Loom
As residents of Afghanistan’s western Herat Province face high unemployment, skyrocketing inflation, and acute hunger, the Taliban authorities have cut off their access to a local delicacy — lamb testicles.
The recently announced ban on the sale of testicles of sheep and other animals has infuriated local business owners and customers, who say the Taliban is focusing on trivial issues while avoiding more pressing problems.
Since the Taliban seized power in August 2021, nearly 700,000 people have lost their jobs in Afghanistan and nearly 90 percent of those employed earn less than $1.90 a day, the International Red Cross reported earlier this month.
The ban on the sale of animal testicles was issued verbally in September by the province’s branch of the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, which is responsible for enforcing the Taliban’s hard-line interpretation of Islamic Shari’a law.
The head of the ministry’s department in Herat, Azizul Rahman Mohajer, said the decision was based on a decree issued by Islamic religious scholars who forbade the eating of animal testicles as a “prohibited abomination.”
Khair Mohammad, who runs a kebab restaurant in the provincial capital, also named Herat, said he has lost significant revenue since he stopped preparing lamb testicles three weeks ago.
“Every day, 20 to 50 customers used to eat ‘sheep egg’ kebabs for breakfast,” he told RFE/RL. “Now we reject all who come to buy sheep eggs, and if we sell them, we will be punished.”
Mohammad said he had personally been jailed for violating the ban.
Thanks, Joe.
Shot of the Week
A jealous ex-husband laughed as he told police how he shot off his wife’s new lover’s penis with a handgun.
Bunteurm Oonkaew, 37, had been drinking with his own girlfriend when he flew into a rage and stormed over to his ex-wife’s home in Chumphon, southern Thailand, on Thursday night.
He pushed open the door before pointing the gun at Somchai Sakoolchai, 40, and blasting him in the groin, which Bunteurm claims was an accident.
Horrified ex-wife Ubonrat, 35, called the police and Bunteurm, a lottery ticket seller, was arrested at his home.
Although he told officers the gun had gone off ‘by mistake’, he was remanded in custody on suspicion of attempted murder.
If he is found guilty of attempted murder Bunteurm could face a 15-year jail sentence.
Somchai was taken to hospital where he was conscious, but his penis was so badly wounded that medics fear it will not function again.
Bunteurm laughed as he told police: ‘I just came back from work and sat drinking alcohol in the room with my girlfriend before getting up and taking out the gun, which I keep in the cupboard.
‘I walked past my ex-wife’s house so I stopped to talk with her but I accidentally had the gun in my hand and pulled the trigger by mistake.
‘The gun fired and hit the area between Somchai’s legs, but I didn’t mean to do that.
Bunteurm’s ex-wife Ubonrat told police that she had two children with her former husband — a 15-year-old boy and a nine-year-old girl.
However, Ubonrat said her ex had failed to move on since they got divorced around six years ago.
She said Bunteurm had pushed open the door to her single-story home and yelled ‘Where is he?’
The angry ex then allegedly thrust the gun into the groin of her new partner before pulling away and firing at his crotch.
The bullet hit him in the penis.
Ubonrat said: ‘I have told the police what happened. My ex-husband shot my boyfriend. It was not a mistake.
‘I do not mind if his penis does not work anymore. The doctors said it was shot off and it will not function.’
She says that now.
Hack of the Week
Sex offender found dead with genitals hacked off
A convicted sex offender was found bleeding to death from having his genitals hacked off.
Reginald Roach was discovered on a disused industrial estate by a dog walker.
The 63-year-old was “unresponsive” and had wounds to his private parts. He was later pronounced dead, an inquest in North Wales was told.
Acting senior coroner for north west Wales Kate Sutherland opened an inquest on Friday, which gave the provisional cause of death as “shock and haemorrhaging due to incised wounds removing genitalia”.
Roach was due in court at Llandudno Magistrates Court on October 31, about a week before his death, when he faced a charge of failing to comply with notification requirements in relation to the sex offenders register at Caernarfon Police Station on September 13, 2022.
n August Roach admitted exposing himself at a Travelodge and in 2020 he was admitted destroying a poppy memorial after Remembrance Sunday in 2019.
Police have said they are ‘not looking for anyone else’ in connection with the incident.
He was trying to destroy the evidence.
Monkeyshines of the Week
A cheeky monkey tried its hardest to expose a model’s breasts in Bali by pulling her top down.
Video shows Peruvian model Paula Manzanal, 28, posing next to the monkey at the Ubud Monkey Forest – only for the animal to reach out and try and pull down her black strapless top.
Manzanal, who won Miss Peru in 2014, is seen looking down at the monkey, which was sat on a wall, and trying to move its hand away from her breasts.
But the monkey, a gray long-tailed macaque, slapped Manzanal’s face as she tried to stop the animal from exposing her.
Manzanal, who was seen smiling in disbelief at the monkey, posted the footage on TikTok and wrote jokingly: ‘I just didn’t want it to touch me.’
If Bill Clinton was a macaque.
Chunk Monkey of the Week
Plus size model slams troll who slated her ‘inappropriate outfit’ for Disney World
A plus size model slammed a troll who accused of her being ‘inappropriately dressed’ for Disney World – and felt she was targeted for being ‘fat’.
Sam Paige boasts 3million followers on TikTok where she often flaunts her curves in the likes of bikinis and figure-hugging dresses.
She recently treated herself to a trip to Disney World and documented the magic for her fans to see.
Despite enjoying herself at the theme park, Sam was targeted by trolls because of the attire she wore on her visit.
The blonde bombshell scraped her hair into pigtails and modelled a pink Minnie Mouse headband as she posed in front of the iconic Disney castle.
To match the merch, Sam rocked a shoulder-less crop top that accentuated her bust and a white skort that exposed most of her thighs.
“My fave place!”, she declared in the caption.
However, not everyone shared the same glee as Sam.
“Why dress so inappropriate when you’re at a theme park for children”, the troll jibed.
“That’s an outfit you wear at an adult gathering.”
But, Sam was having none of it.
Not letting the hater get away with the remark, she posted another clip to TikTok and said: “This comment is so annoying because I’m wearing a shirt with sleeves and a skort so that’s a skirt that has shorts attached to it.
“And you’re deeming it like inappropriate because it’s a skirt or what you think that’s a skirt with shorts underneath it because it’s on a big body it’s bothering you.”
“Skinny people where shorter things, more revealing things at theme parks. I’ve seen literal booty cheeks hanging out under their shorts.
“But because I’m fat it’s inappropriate”, Sam slammed.
Exactly.
Kissing Cousin of the Week
Woman charged with rape, incest
A woman was arrested and charged with first-degree rape and incest Thursday.
According to an arrest citation, Kaylee Counsil, 19, of Elizabethtown, forced a 10-year-old to digitally penetrate and insert items into her vagina.
Counsil also admitted she kissed the girl on the mouth and instructed her to put her mouth on her breast, the citation said.
First-degree rape is a Class B felony, punishable by 10 to 20 years in prison if convicted.
Yikes!
Hooter of the Week
Man arrested on meth, DUI charges had live owl in car, police say
A police department in Arizona is reminding people to leave wildlife alone after a man suspected of DUI said he bought an owl.
Payson police said on Facebook that officers pulled over a man for a possible DUI and, to their surprise, found a live owl beside him in the car.
The man told officers another driver found the bird along the road and sold it to him for $100 at a gas station.
The driver faces multiple charges, including aggravated DUI, possession of methamphetamine, and possession, transport or purchase of wildlife.
“The Payson Police Department would also like to take this opportunity to encourage the public not to use methamphetamine or you too may find yourself illegally purchasing a wild owl, for $100, in the middle of the night, from strangers, at a local gas station,” the department said in the post.
Before Biden’s inflation, gas station owls only cost $25.
Mug of the Week
Michigan man arrested for meth after car chase with police
A Belding man was arrested for possession of methamphetamine with intent to deliver after leading police on a brief car chase.
In the early morning hours of Nov. 10, a pickup truck was spotted running a stop sign on Deaner and Wyman Road in Home Township.
When a deputy with the Montcalm County Sheriff’s Office attempted to the pull the truck over, it drove off.
The driver, Antonio Michael Rushford, of Belding, was with a woman passenger who texted dispatch and claimed that Rushford was not allowing her to leave the truck.
The deputy lost sight of the vehicle, but the passenger informed dispatch that Rushford crashed the truck and took off on foot.
Officials said they found methamphetamine in the truck after searching the scene where it was abandoned.
Deputies were able to locate Rushford when daylight broke after receiving a call about a suspicious man in the area of the crashed truck.
Why is he such a Gloomy Gus?
Bender of the Week
Elephants’ boozy adventure leaves them drunk, hungover
A herd of two dozen elephants was caught sleeping off hangovers after drinking alcohol made by villagers in India.
The elephants came across the brew — also known as “mahua,” which is a traditional liquor made from the flower of the madhuca longifolia tree — and apparently couldn’t resist a buzz, reported The Times UK.
Elephants are known to be fans of mahua, according to Kartick Satyanarayan, the chief executive of Wildlife SOS.
“When they smell it, they can poke their trunks into kitchens or break down walls to get to it. Once finished, they stagger back home, toppling the odd tree or house on the way,” Satyanarayan said.
Locals from the village of Salipada left the jars of alcohol fermenting in the jungle, allowing these alcohol-loving elephants to dip their trunks in.
The elephants — including nine calves — apparently lost sight of what their alcohol limit was and drank all of the mahua until they blacked out.
Local wildlife officials reportedly woke up the heavy sleepers by beating on drums, and the hungover animals slowly got up and stumbled back into the forest.
Is this a metaphor for the GOP performance in the midterms?
Cocked Gun of the Week
Florida man allegedly hides gun inside raw chicken to foil airport security
The US Transportation Security Administration has caught an air traveler who had allegedly stashed a firearm inside a raw chicken in a bid to get the weapon through security at a Florida airport.
In a pun-laden post to its Instagram account, the TSA said the bizarre attempt had been foiled at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood international airport when eagle-eyed agents spied the handgun wrapped in tape and placed inside the bird’s cavity.
The chicken was then hidden inside the traveler’s carry-on luggage.
“We hate to beak it to you here, but stuffing a firearm in your holiday bird for travel is just a baste of time,” the agency said in the jokey post.
It added: “This idea wasn’t even half-baked; it was raw, greasy and obviously unsupervised. The only roast happening here is this poor packing choice!”
Instead of turducken, he was making a derglocken for Thanksgiving.
Suds of the Week
The most expensive beer in the world will set you back more than £400,000
Would you spend almost half a million pounds on a beer? Well, someone out there did pay that amount of money for a bottle of ale, making it by far the world’s most expensive.
To begin, Allsopp’s Arctic Ale is certainly not the best beer ever made, having some quite peculiar characteristics.
Its story began back in 2007 on eBay, when an Oklahoma buyer bought a bottle for around $304 (£257) plus $19.95 shipping from a Massachusetts seller.
The bottle itself came with an old laminated handwritten note explaining the bottle had been brewed for the polar expedition in 1852 and was given to a Boston attorney named Percy G. Bolster in 1919.
This ale’s journey began back in 1854, when the famous sea voyages of the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror set out to discover routes between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, going through the Arctic Sea and focusing on the unknown parts of the Northwest Passage.
Sadly, their mission ended in disaster as they became trapped in the sea ice near King William Island, now part of Northern Canada. The sailors had no choice but to abandon the ships, however none of them made it back home.
Around the same time, the British government commissioned the Allsopps brewery to create an ale suitable for the freezing Arctic conditions. Allsopps then created a strong, sweet, north of 11% ABV ale as they described it and declared that it was resistant to the lowest temperatures.
In 1852, a rescue expedition set sail, and this ale was on board. The mission failed to find any trace of the Erebus or the Terror. Then the beer became an antique and somehow found its way onto eBay.
The eBay buyer from Oklahoma found out about this story, so he put it back on eBay and offered a Buy-It-Now price of $150,000 (about £126,900) with free shipping. It wasn’t long until the bid began, and the seller soon removed the initial price. After two days, it was $360. On day 6, it was more than $2000. On day seven, 23 bidders pushed it to $78,000, and on the last day, it had 74,000 people watching the auction. Finally, the antique ale was bought for $503,300.
I could supply myself with beer for a month with that kind of money.
Stick of the Week
Woman pleads guilty after smacking neighbor with 10-pound meat stick at Walmart
An Ohio woman admitted to walloping her estranged neighbor with a 10-pound log of ground beef after running into her at a Walmart, prosecutors said.
Maneka Garner, 27, pleaded no contest Tuesday to disorderly conduct in connection with the May 2021 attack, the Smoking Gun reported Thursday.
She was sentenced to a 30-day suspended jail term and a year of probation in addition to a $155 fine, prosecutors said.
Garner was shopping with her 5-year-old son when she saw Precious Jackson, 37, and her 7-year-old daughter at the South Euclid megastore, according to the outlet.
The suspect confronted Jackson in the potato chip aisle, pulled down her face mask, and attempted to spit on her before threatening to beat her and her daughter up, the outlet said.
Garner then took a $22 meat log out of Jackson’s cart and struck her with it “a couple of times in the face,” investigators said.
Jackson had previously gotten a restraining order against the suspect when she lived downstairs from her in a duplex, and Garner told police she was under the impression the order of protection had expired, the arrest record said.
Judging by the headline, I thought this was a story about a psycho tranny.
WTF? of the Week
Thug murdered girlfriend, stabbed her corpse and dressed her in designer gear
The case of jealous Robert Massey’s horrifying murder of Jacqueline Forest, 49, after he saw that she was supposedly pregnant, was heard at Liverpool Crown Court.
The ECHO reports that on August 30 this year, Massey “saw red” having scrolled through Jaki’s phone to read messages which “suggested she had been unfaithful with two other men” including his best mate.
Having strangled Jacqueline on her way out of the shower, Massey proceeded to cut up and write on her lifeless body in her flat before leaving to kill her alleged lovers.
The 43-year-old knifed one of them with the same weapon he had used to kill Jacqueline Forest after luring him to the apartment before taking a taxi to his former friend’s workplace and attacking him with a pair of scissors.
The killer later confessed to police that he “saw red” and attacked Ms Forest by confronting her when she got out of the shower, grabbing her by the neck and “straddling her” on the bed.
Massey repeatedly struck her to the head and face with his fists then placed both hands around her neck, squeezed and “didn’t stop” until she “went floppy”. He then headbutted her and said: “Was it worth it? Was it worth s***ging them two people?”
In what Mr Ford described as “macabre and sadistic” behaviour, the murderer then covered her dead body with a towel, placed a watch on her wrist and Moschino shoes on her feet, put a handbag over her arm and sunglasses over her face and positioned a jewellery box on top of her.
Massey subsequently explained to officers that he had “ruined her beautiful face and decided to put some nice things on her because she always used to look pretty”.
But after finding a pregnancy test nearby, Massey stabbed her in the womb with a kitchen knife – although it was later confirmed that she had not been expecting a baby.
Then, he took a green pen and wrote “my best mate” next to this wound before scrawling “slag” on one thigh and the word “baby” on the other.
Massey drank some leftover vodka and Fanta in the flat before hunting down Mr Murphy whose ears he tried to cut off. He then drunkenly set out to “kill” Mr Roberts.
His anger is with his true self because no straight man can accessorize like that.
