This week we learned that Barack Obama thinks Joe Biden is crazy and shouldn’t be given any serious responsibility. Here’s some more crazy irresponsible WTF?:
Headline of the Week
‘Extremely negligent’ Florida man accused of shooting daughter with AR-15 while drunk
A Florida man was charged with child abuse after police said he “irresponsibly handled” an AR-15 rifle and accidentally shot his daughter the day before Thanksgiving.
According to WPTV, Daniel Weber, 35, was on the couch, showing his underage son how to clean his AR-15 rifle when he set it down on a TV tray. Police said the tray tipped over and the gun fired, striking Weber’s young daughter in the hip or lower abdomen area.
WPTV reported the victim needed “extensive care” and was rushed into surgery. She is still recovering in the hospital one week after the shooting.
Weber told detectives that he believed the gun was not loaded at the time. He said he was “experienced at handling firearms” and “handled several different types/calibers of firearms for several years”, according to WPTV.
Weber’s son told police his father drinks daily and had five drinks on the afternoon of the shooting, according to a police report. Weber told police he’d had “about six beers”.
I think the cops had about 12 beers if they believe the gun just went off by itself.
Travel Advisory of the Week
Taxpayers should pay for trans men wanting a penis to get one abroad because of lengthy NHS queues, campaigners have controversially said.
Biological females transitioning to become men can ask for a penis — sometimes called bottom surgery — so they can better match their gender identity.
But waiting lists for the complex op, called a phalloplasty, which is also offered to men who lose their genitalia in serious accidents, can be up to four years.
Some patients decide to fundraise to fly abroad where they can pay up to £21,000 for the procedure and skip the NHS backlog, which currently sits at an all-time high in the wake of Covid.
Transactual, an advocacy group for trans people living in Britain, estimates there are around 2,000 trans men currently in line for the op.
It claimed it is unacceptable that their gender-affirming surgery is being left to the generosity of strangers and have called for the NHS to step in and ‘offer funding for those seeking phalloplasty overseas’ so waiting times are reduced.
Sending all trans men on the waiting list abroad may cost approximately £40million, campaigners roughly estimate.
Or they could explain that women shouldn’t have dicks for free.
Dongs of the Week
Creepy sea creature with five re-growable pink ‘penis’ heads has people in hysterics
A sea creature which hilariously appears to be made up of five pink penis heads has baffled social media users.
The granulated sea star – also known as the doughboy star fish– is certainly up there when it comes to animals resembling human genitalia.
Stubby arms compared to standard star fish are topped by rounded pink ends, each with an awfully familiar central detail.
A Sir David Attenborough parody Twitter account shared a snap of one of the eye-catching creatures on Thursday morning.
It was captioned: “When startled the Five Dicked Starfish windmills each of its love wands to scare off would be predators.”
A stunned follower commented on the clip: “OMG is this for real.”
I heard about a man with 5 penises. Apparently his pants fit him like a glove.
Nuts of the Week
Man kills own father removes his testicles
A suspected murderer in Mudzi appeared before Mutoko magistrates courts today after he allegedly axed his father to death and removed the deceased’s testicles.
Tonderai Mariwo (33) was not asked to plead to a murder charge before magistrate Elijah Sibanda. He was remanded in custody to 16 December 2022 to allow police to finalise investigations.
Prosecutor Nathan Majuru alleged around 10 am today Tonderai struck Oliver Mariwo once with an axe before pulling a kitchen knife which he used to cut Oliver’s head. The prosecutor requested that accuses be examined by two doctors as it appears he has mental health issues.
He subsquently removed the deceased’s testicles and left thumb before putting the body parts in a bucket.
The thumb actually seems like the weirdest thing to me.
Balls of the Week
Boston Man Exposes Testicles To Teen Hotel Worker Delivering Food
A 17-year-old girl working at a hotel in South Massachusetts got quite the shock while delivering room service this week, authorities said.
The girl was bringing food to a room occupied by 46-year-old Tarrence Brown, of Hyde Park, Plymouth Police said on Wednesday, Nov 23 on Facebook. When she opened the door, Brown was wearing an open bath robe clearly showing his genitals, police said.
When an officer responded to the scene, Brown still had the robe open, police said. The officer then asked Brown to “put it away before the handcuffs go on.” Brown was arrested for open and gross lewdness, police said.
I used to think you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.
Clam of the Week
Model who won ‘most beautiful vagina contest’ now rakes in fortune on OnlyFans
The winner of Brazil’s most beautiful vagina contest rakes in a fortune on OnlyFans now.
Maite Sasdelli scooped the unique title which was organised by popular influencer Ana Otani.
Now the model revealed she earns £2,370 (BRL 15,000) every few hours on the adults-only platform.
The bombshell won the “Vagina Mais Bonita Brasil” which helped boost her career selling racy snaps.
The Most Beautiful Vagina Contest in Brazil was organised by Ana Otani who boasts 1.2million subscribers on YouTube.
Ana first hit headlines in 2020 after undergoing “nymphoplasty” surgery to please her boyfriend before they split.
Then she tried to auction her virginity for £109,137 (BRL 800,000) when she had an operation to reconstruct her hymen.
Ana set herself the challenge of finding Brazil’s most beautiful vagina as she felt fans were getting bored of seeing hers.
And Maite, from Rio de Janeiro, scooped first place on November 28, 2021, with 53% of the vote from Ana’s subscribers.
Stuffing the ballot box takes on a new meaning in an election like this.
Piggy Bank of the Week
Doctors remove 187 coins from man’s stomach after he complained of being ‘bloated’
Doctors removed 187 coins from a man’s stomach after he arrived at a hospital complaining about “bloating” and “stomach pain”.
The perplexing discovery was made when the man, from Lingsugur, India, was brought to a hospital by his family as he was experiencing pain and vomiting.
But after examining the man, medics at Hangal Sri Kumareshwar Hospital were stunned to discover that he had swallowed over 1.5kg of coins.
The patient, who had been suffering from a psychiatric problem, had swallowed the jaw-dropping amount of coins over a two to three-month period.
Dr Eshwar Kalaburgi explained how doctors made the shocking discovery, telling the Mirror: “He was suffering from a psychiatric problem. He had been swallowing these coins for the last two to three months.
“He came to the hospital complaining of vomiting and abdominal discomfort.
“Based on his symptoms, we did an X-ray and endoscopy and found coins in the stomach. So, we decided to operate upon him,
“The stomach was dilated enormously. Lots of coins were stuck in different places of the stomach.”
The man was taken into surgery where all the coins were successfully removed.
Thanks to inflation, his life savings is now worth much less than when he deposited it.
Pisser of the Week
Shelbyville woman accused of urinating on officers
A Shelbyville woman is facing several charges accusing her of, among other things, urinating on police officers.
Hannah Strode, 27, is charged with four counts of aggravated battery to a peace officer and one count each of aggravated assault and domestic battery with a prior conviction. The latter two charges accuse Strode of being involved in a domestic dispute on Monday with a member of her family or household by pulling the victim’s hair and biting her on the hand. Strode had been previously convicted of the same offense in 2017.
The charges further accused Strode of “knowingly making contact of an insulting or provoking nature” with the four responding Shelbyville Police officers by urinating on them and trying to bite one of their hands.
I wish the news would have explained the mechanics of this golden shower.
Kicker of the Week
Scots teen booted cops in testicles after she was caught boozing in street
A teenage girl who booted two police officers in the testicles has been ordered to carry out 100 hours unpaid work in the community. Gracie Mills, 18, was part of a group of youths drinking in a tunnel that officers had arrived to break up when she kicked off.
Fiscal depute Larissa Milligan told the court: “Police got a call about a large group of youths drinking and playing music at the locus. In the tunnel they observed 12 to 15 youths including Miss Mills.
“She moved towards the officers who asked her age. Due to her level of intoxication and her behaviour the accused was advised she was being arrested. Both officers took control of her arms with the accused kicking out from behind with her leg.
“This landed a blow to the police constable’s testicles, which resulted in him falling back and losing control of the accused. The other officer managed to restrain her to the ground.
“The other youths tried to intervene which led to one officer drawing his pava spray. The officers brought the accused to her feet and tried to lead her from the tunnel to make themselves visible to the other police unit which had been requested to attend.
“As she was being led up a steep path, another officer came to assist. She put her leg out and kicked him to the shin, resulting in him stumbling. As she was led towards the van, she once again kicked out behind her, connecting with the officer’s testicles. The officer had recently undergone a procedure and the injury was extreme pain and tenderness.”
Kick me in the nuts once, shame on you. Kick me in the nuts twice, shame on me.
#MeToo of the Week
Pitt students facing abuse of corpse charges for alleged class incident
Two University of Pittsburgh students have been charged with abuse of a corpse for an alleged incident that took place during a class in November.
Classmates of Amay Gupta and Sonel Jimenez, both 19 years old, reported inappropriate behavior regarding medical cadavers to Pitt police.
The human cadavers were being used in a university anatomy lab class in Victoria Hall on Nov. 4.
During a class about muscle groups, Gupta allegedly inappropriately touched and made inappropriate comments about a male cadaver.
Jimenez allegedly inappropriately touched a female cadaver and made inappropriate comments.
Gupta and Jimenez are scheduled to appear for preliminary hearings in Allegheny County Court in January.
A University of Pittsburgh spokesperson issued the following response:
“The University of Pittsburgh is committed to upholding the dignity of, and respect for, all donors whose selfless acts of giving enhance and enrich education.
Members of the class who witnessed the incidents received information about resources available to them, including counseling services and Title IX programs.
Even college corpses are snowflakes now.
Nancy Boy of the Week
Florida man fatally stabs mom because she ‘never pushed him to be a man’: cops
A 21-year-old Florida man fatally stabbed his mother this week because she never “pushed him to be a man,” authorities said.
Cops found one woman dead inside a residence in Kissimmee with knife wounds to her stomach and her daughter with severe lacerations to her hand.
Deputies from the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office located the dead woman’s son, Matthew Stewart Sisley, covered in blood a short distance from the home and placed him in custody on Tuesday.
Sisley confessed to the bloody assault during an interview with investigators, who asked him if his mother deserved death.
“Yes,” Sisley answered. “Because she never pushed me to be a man.”
A detective then asked if he regretted ending her life.
“No,” he said. “I would do it again.”
Ironically, he will be pushed towards womanhood in the prison shower.
Cager of the Week
Georgia woman rescued after being locked up in dog cage as sex slave
A 20-year-old woman has been rescued after she was kept captive as a sex slave at a home in Georgia, where she was locked up in a feces-filled dog cage and beaten.
Five people were arrested Tuesday after a former resident went to the Richmond County property to retrieve some belongings and discovered the terrified victim, WRDW reported.
“Upon entering the room he observed an unknown light brown-skinned female that was naked, beaten severely and currently locked in a dog cage,” an incident report cited by the outlet states.
Shawna Powell, 32, one of the residents, told the man that the caged woman was her “whore,” according to WJBF.
“She stole a bunch of stuff from me so she is going to be my sex slave and I am going to pimp her out until she pays it off,” the suspect reportedly said.
The man said the woman was naked and pleaded for help.
He told cops that he overheard someone at the home saying that several people were on the way “to have their way” with the woman, police said in their report.
Deputies went to the house of horrors on Nellie Drive about 10:20 p.m. Tuesday and ordered everyone to come out.
DeMichael Dawson, 24, one of the occupants, then stepped out and told police that there were several other people inside, along with three pit bulls.
When deputies entered, they came across an empty dog cage in the feces-filled home, where the victim was discovered lying on a bed with multiple injuries to her face.
One of her eyes was severely swollen and bruised, WJBF reported.
In addition to Powell and Dawson, police arrested Anjelika Figueroa, 29, Savannah Piazzi, 18, and Dawson Weston, 19.
I wonder what she stole.
Hot Dog of the Week
‘Reckless driver’ in supermarket car park unmasked as ‘guilty looking’ dog
A dog left unaccompanied by its owners in a truck managed to unleash chaos in a Walmart shopping car park.
Police were called to reports of a “reckless driver” who had crashed into two vehicles in Kilgore, Texas earlier this week.
The owner of one of the vehicles said he saw “the suspect barrelling down on him”, but he was unable to avoid the crash.
He was “shocked” to see the driver’s seat was occupied by a dog, caught red-handed with a ”guilty look on his face” after the crash.
The dog had seemingly managed to dislodge the previously damaged steering column and caught its leash on the emergency handbrake, releasing it and setting the vehicle in motion.
Luckily there were no casualties or injuries caused by the incident.
The agitated and restless dog ”apparently got a little antsy and bounced around” inside the driver’s area of the vehicle led to the accidental getaway.
The owners were doing their shopping at the time and had no clue that their dog was causing havoc in the car park – until the point of collision.
Kilgore Police Department admitted that explanation of the incident ”doesn’t sound feasible”, but they were able to confirm that the dog was the driver caught behind the wheel at the time of the crash.
Good boy!
WTF? of the Week
Mississippi golfer bites off other man’s nose in feud over game
A Mississippi man bit another man’s nose off in a fit of rage over a round of golf they played together, authorities said.
Mark Wells, 51, allegedly sunk his teeth into the victim’s nose in a casino parking lot Monday night and fled the scene in a Tesla before turning himself into police two days later.
Wells, the victim and others had been arguing about a golf round they played at Bridges Golf Course, next door to the casino, earlier in the day, according to Bay St. Louis police.
The men continued quarreling over the round throughout the day until it escalated in the parking lot of the Hollywood Casino around 9:30 p.m. and Wells, of Biloxi, allegedly chomped on the man’s face.
His alleged bizarre and horrific attack left the man’s face disfigured, police said.
He was charged with felony mayhem and could face up to seven years in prison if convicted.
There’s also a pretty good chance he’ll never get invited to a foursome again.
