This week the biggest WTF? was, not much happened. At least there were these WTFers to keep us entertained:
Headline of the Week
Snakes have clitorises: scientists overcome ‘a massive taboo around female genitalia’
Female snakes have clitorises, scientists have detailed for the first time in a study of the animal’s sex organs.
The scientists say previous research had mistaken the organs as scent glands or underdeveloped versions of penises, in a study that criticised the comparatively limited research into female sex organs.
In a study published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, the researchers found that snakes have two individual clitorises – hemiclitores – separated by tissue and hidden by skin on the underside of the tail.
“Female genitalia are conspicuously overlooked in comparison to their male counterparts, limiting our understanding of sexual reproduction across vertebrate lineages,” the study’s authors wrote.
The study’s lead author and a PhD student at the University of Adelaide, Megan Folwell, said “a massive taboo around female genitalia” was a potential factor in why snake clitorises had not been described earlier. “I think it’s a combination of not knowing what to look for and not wanting to,” she said.
Who wouldn’t want to look for a snake clit?
Knob of the Week
Residents throw eggs at penis-headed statue of Putin erected in Bell End
A penis-headed statue of Vladimir Putin has been erected in a road named Bell End to commemorate him as “Bellend of the Year” in protest against Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
The organiser of the protest, who wished to remain anonymous, told the PA news agency: “I needed to award somebody with the Bellend of the Year award and I thought there was one person who has universally been a bellend this year – and that’s Vladimir Putin.
“You could just throw eggs at the statue, which people did so willingly and quite happily.
The co-ordinator said they plan to create and sell miniatures of the statue to raise money for a charity supporting Ukrainian refugees.
“I’ve seen over the course of the year the devastation that has happened in Ukraine and that so many lives that have been displaced as a result of the war,” they said.
The organiser said they want to stay anonymous to keep the “mystique” around the statue, with a further explanation about how it came to be in the village just outside Birmingham to be revealed in the coming days.
The organizer is now working on a vagina-headed Biden statue for the “Pussy of the Year” award.
Shaft of the Week
Man, father-in-law kicked off plane leaving Flint airport for saying ‘penis’
A man said he and another relative were kicked off a flight heading out of Flint Bishop Airport after he said the word ‘penis’ while onboard.
Jayson Bauer said he and his father-in-law were flying down to Florida to help them move when they were approached by flight staff. He said no reason was given for the removal until they were brought off the flight.
“Finally the Flint police and the airport authority came over and said we were removed because I said the word ‘penis’ on board an airplane,” he said. “I meant it in no derogatory (way). I mean, it’s part of the male anatomy and we were literally kicked off an airplane in Flint and we had to drive.”
A spokesman with Allegiant Airlines, the company who operates the plane that Bauer was on, said two passengers had become disruptive and verbally abusive after boarding the plane. “When crew members instructed them to cease their unruly behavior, the passengers failed to comply. As a result, both were deplaned and reaccommodated to other flights,” read a statement from the company.
“This decision was made with the utmost safety of our customers and crew members in mind. Unruly behavior from a passenger presents a safety risk. As I’m sure you are aware, failing to comply with a crew member’s instructions is a violation of FAA regulations. Allegiant does not tolerate disruptive, abusive, or unruly behavior of any kind.”
If he was a drag queen, he could have actually whipped out his penis, no problem.
Nut of the Week
Man who killed Kevin Bacon, ate his testicles, sentenced to life in prison
A Michigan man who acknowledged killing another man and hanging the victim’s mutilated body from the ceiling of his home was sentenced to life in prison Thursday.
A Shiawassee County judge sentenced Mark Latunski, 53, to life in prison without the possibility of parole on a first-degree murder charge for killing 25-year-old Kevin Bacon, of Swartz Creek, in December 2019.
Latunksi was also sentenced to 11 months to be served concurrently on a charge of disinterment and mutilation of a dead body.
He pleaded guilty to murder in September for killing Bacon, leaving it to Mark Latunski, Judge Matthew Stewart to determine if it would be classified as first-degree or second-degree murder. Stewart determined in October that the killing was premeditated first-degree murder and that Latunski would face life without parole.
Family members reported Bacon missing when he didn’t show up for breakfast on Christmas Day 2019. His mutilated body was found three days later, hanging from the ceiling of Latunski’s home in Bennington Township, about 90 miles (145 kilometers) northwest of Detroit.
Police said Latunski admitted to killing Bacon, whom he had met through the dating app Grindr, and eating parts of his body.
That’s not how you make bacon and eggs, bro.
Watchdog of the Week
Woman who stole, hid Rolex inside genitals was in town for court on prior theft charge
A woman accused of stealing a Las Vegas hotel guest’s watch and concealing it inside her genitals Sunday was in Las Vegas for a Monday court hearing for a similar theft, the 8 News Now Investigators have learned.
Sarah Richards, 33, faces charges of grand larceny and administering a drug to aid in the commission of a felony, police said.
A man called 911 from the Aria hotel on Sunday morning to report a woman, later identified as Richards, had taken items from his room, including a $12,000 watch, police said.
The man told officers he met Richards and invited her to his room, police said. The pair started to cuddle, when Richards reportedly told the man he should take off his Rolex watch or it would cut her while they cuddled.
“[The victim] ended up taking off the watch and placing it under his pillow,” police said. “He drank more wine since Richards kept insisting it.”
The man later noticed the watch was missing. Richards “went into a panic” and left. The man followed her down the hall, down the elevator and into the lobby where he alerted security, they said.
Police initially could not find the watch on Richards’ person, but later located it in her genitals, officers said.
“She stated that we were going to find it anyways at jail and she did not want to go through the hassle,” officers wrote in the arrest report. Officers later impounded the watch, placing it inside a biohazard bag, police said.
Richards took another person’s watch in June and was in Las Vegas for a Monday court date for the same crime, police said. Records show she was charged with theft and residential burglary in June.
At that price, those watches better be yeast-proof.
Beta Dog of the Week
Man who ‘considers himself a furry’ confesses to LPD 1,000 acts of bestiality with dog
A Lubbock man was indicted this week for 11 counts of possessing child pornography and 10 counts of bestiality. The bestiality charges were listed for the first time on the jail roster Thursday.
Court records indicated the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children sent a CyberTip to Lubbock Police for a sexual image of minor. That led to an investigation of Cody Glen Sandahl, 26.
Police spoke with Sandahl on November 14, according to court records. He was arrested November 17 on the child pornography charges.
Sandahl consented for police to look at his phone. Police located 10 videos and 72 images that “depict bestiality” or sexual acts between a human and an animal, court records showed.
An officer wrote, “I located the following images that appeared to be Cody committing sex acts on himself with his dog…”
Court records said, “Cody [Sandahl] advised that the dog likes it and lays next to him after. Cody advised that he never forces the dog to commit these acts. Cody advised this occurs two to three times a day for the last two to three years.”
Sandahl admitted to police that he committed “approximately 1,000 acts of bestiality with a dog” between November 2019 and November 2022.
“Cody [Sandahl] considers himself a furry and looks at images using [three websites],” court records said.
We now know what Beto O’Rourke has been up to after losing the Texas gubernatorial election.
V-Chip of the Week
Hi-tech Vagina Chip ‘walks, talks, and quacks like a human vagina’, claims scientist
Scientists have successfully recreated the microbiome of a vagina on a chip, in a major medical breakthrough.
The Vagina Chip replicates the biology of a vagina and can be tested with different strains of bacteria, giving scientists a way to develop new medical treatments for a condition called bacterial vaginosis.
This can massively increase the risk of STIs as well as premature births, and is currently treated with antibiotics.
One of the researchers behind the Vagina Chip, Don Ingber, said: “The chip is more realistic than other laboratory models of the organ. This walks, talks, quacks like a human vagina.”
I don’t think Don has ever seen a real vagina before.
Zeppelins of the Week
Students banned from taking photos of trans teacher with Z-size prosthetic breasts
Snapping shots of a school teacher’s Z-size breast implants is X-rated and penalized at a Canadian high school.
Students at Halton School District have been “threatened with suspension” for taking any photos or videos of Oakville Trafalgar High School teacher Kayla Lemieux, who’s regularly seen at the school with her massive chest and blond wig, parents told the Toronto Sun.
Yet video circulated last week of the teacher walking down the hallway on crutches with a cast on her right foot at Dr. Frank J. Hayden Secondary School in Oakland, where she was substitute teaching, the outlet reported.
Lemieux also substituted recently at Abbey Park High School in Oakville. Witnesses told the Sun that police were present at each school while she was teaching there.
“Lemieux gets a personal escort (and) protection everywhere” the teacher goes, one parent told the news outlet.
Schools in the area have dealt with a number of bomb threats, the Sun noted.
Despite complaints, the school board has accommodated Lemieux’s identity and has defended her rights.
Francey said the district has a “Responsible Use Procedures for Information and Communications Technology” policy.
“It is routine practice for students to obtain the permission of any subject at any time (including other students, staff, or any person) before capturing, using, and transmitting images or video. This policy helps guide that standard courtesy across our board,” she said.
I can actually think of a couple of things that would be more appropriate to ban in the classroom.
Dumper of the Week
‘My 55-inch bum is so big I hid bottles of booze in it to go clubbing’
A curvy plus-size model has revealed how she would sneak bottles of booze into concerts by hiding them in her big bum.
Steph Oshiri, who posts on TikTok as @stephoshirii, regularly posts on the app about her huge backside – but one of her most recent stories left her fans flabbergasted.
In the clip, which has gained more than 14,900 likes, she explained: “One thing I used to do when I was younger was hide full alcohol bottles in my bum. I’m not kidding. I wish I was.
“Every time me and my friends would go to concerts, I would be the person that would have to hide the alcohol. I wish I was joking.”
In the caption, she wrote: “Posting this on my burner cause its humiliating.”
Once a bottle has been up someone’s ass, it’s officially undrinkable.
Pisser of the Week
Westminster council fighting public urination with ‘splash back’ paint
Revellers thinking of urinating in public could be given a nasty surprise after Soho’s streets were painted with a special “splash back” substance.
Westminster City Council has launched a campaign following complaints from residents.
The council has spent £950,000 a year cleaning up after a spike in incidents since lockdown ended.
Under the scheme, there will also be a focus on fining people who are caught relieving themselves on the street.
The paint, which splashes back on the person when they urinate on it, will be rolled out by the council across five more areas in Westminster in central London, as reported by the Local Democracy Reporting Service.
Couldn’t a person just turn around and piss on the sidewalk?
Mug of the Week
Man allegedly found drunk inside truck after trying to steal it
Authorities in DeKalb County said they arrested a man after they found him drunk and sitting inside a truck on a property after they were called about someone trying to steal the vehicle.
The DeKalb County Sheriff’s Office along with the Crossville Police Department responded to an area on County Road 370 in the Kilpatrick community on December 13.
When deputies arrived on the scene, they reportedly found 47-year-old David Michael Holcomb sitting inside the truck on the property, intoxicated. They also said the interior of the truck was damaged.
Following a “brief struggle,” Holcomb was taken out of the truck and placed under arrest.
He now faces multiple charges, including public lewdness, resisting arrest, criminal trespass, criminal mischief and public intoxication.
Public lewdness? I feel like this story may have omitted some important details here.
Santa of the Week
Florida man charged after allegedly throwing Christmas tree at wife
Florida man is now in custody after he allegedly threw a Christmas tree at his wife during a dispute on Monday evening.
It is reported that the argument started after the man’s wife asked him to help make dinner.
According to arrest records, Richard Atchison, 52, “lost his temper” after his wife asked for help and put a spoon in the sink, accidentally splashing him with water.
Police reported that Atchison packed his things and went outside to his vehicle, before returning to the house because “he had been drinking” and told his wife to leave instead.
However, when Atchison’s wife tried to leave, he reportedly shoved her, picked up a Christmas tree that was in the corner of the room and threw it at her, striking her. Atchison then allegedly blocked the front door to prevent his wife from leaving.
The man was booked on domestic battery charges and taken to the jail.
Everybody is feeling the Christmas spirit, even Florida Man.
Puke of the Week
Massive angry hippo swallows boy, 2, whole before spitting him back out alive
A giant hippo swallowed a two-year-old boy whole before thankfully spitting him back out again alive.
The bizarre scene happened in Uganda, and the boy – named locally as Iga Paul – only came back out after angry and shocked locals pelted the hungry hungry hippo with stones.
Oddly, the incident happened in April this year, but wasn’t actually reported to police until Monday (December 12), when video footage of it went viral locally.
The attack happened off the shores of Lake Edwards, and appears to have attacked the boy who was playing outside his home without warning.
“It grabbed the boy from the head and swallowed half of his body.
“It took the bravery of one Chrispas Bagonza, who was nearby, to save the victim after he stoned the hippo and scared it, causing it to release the victim from its mouth.”
The boy was taken to a nearby clinic, before being moved to a hospital for more treatment.
It is not clear what injuries he suffered, but he was given a vaccine for rabies – which hippos are known to carry.
Clearly the hippo is racist.
WTF? of the Week
Man with filed teeth threatened to rip out captive woman’s throat, Genesee County sheriff says
A man with filed teeth allegedly involved in sex-trafficking a captive woman threatened to bite her throat if she didn’t obey him, Genesee County Sheriff Chris Swanson said.
Swanson outlined details of a case he called “bizarre” and disturbing in a Facebook post Wednesday, Dec. 14.
He said a 22-year-old woman was held captive in a home and sexually trafficked during a three-week period. She was tied to a bed and sexually assaulted by more than one person, Swanson alleged.
The woman was taken to Hurley Medical Center in Flint on Dec. 8 for a medical emergency. Nurses there recognized she was in distress and received a statement from the woman.
Deputies soon after arrested Michael Anthony Barajas, 36.
“The whole scenario was so bizarre, because Barajas threatened that if she didn’t do everything he told her to do, he would bite her neck and rip out her throat,” Swanson said.
Swanson said the 22-year-old victim had been kicked out of a residence the week of Thanksgiving and was simply walking down the street when a vehicle pulled up next to her. A person inside offered her shelter.
She accepted and was taken to a house. Once inside, she was locked inside the house and, at least at points, tied to a bed.
Swanson said she was sexually assaulted by multiple people over days.
The victim tried to escape at least twice. On the first attempt, she ran out an open door. She was shot at and dragged into a car, Swanson said.
A second time, she also ran from the house. She was found and brought back to the house.
The ordeal ended Dec. 8 when she needed to go to a hospital for a medical emergency.
“It’s bizarre and this guy, he’s a monster,” Swanson said.
Why would anyone get in a car with a dude that looks like that?
