Did Hillary Clinton Poop On The Floor Of A Broadway Theater?

When Hillary Clinton burst upon the scene in the 1990s, she was completely full of shit and continued that way until recently. It seems the celebrated loser has lost a little fecal matter from the reserve tank, as she may have dropped a deuce on the floor during a Broadway production. This, by the way, is not bullshit, just Hillary shit.

Page Six reports on Hillary’s latest embarrassing episode:

Page Six hears that a serial pooper has been stalking the halls of the legendary Shubert Theater — and the last time they struck, a turd appeared in the aisle near Hillary and Chelsea Clinton at “Some Like It Hot.”

“Last week when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience,” said a source, “the lights came up for intermission and there were two human turds in the aisle just near the famous political duo.”

The insider added, “The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea remained in the theater for the second act.”

While it already seems almost certain that Hillary is the aisle pooper, this confirms it:

A source close to the show confirmed the incident, telling Page Six, “There was an incident when Hillary Clinton and Chelsea attended.

“It was an elderly person and it’s rather sad, but yes, the house staff worked quickly to help resolve the situation and Act II started as scheduled.”

Hillary Clinton is an elderly person. She’s 75-years-old and looks like she’s in her 90s. Is this the theater’s way of saying Hillary dropped the turd without calling her out by name?

A look at the available evidence also points to Hillary as the shit-bomber. The turd was found right next to her and she apparently didn’t complain to the usher that someone was copping a squat in her vicinity, so that indicates she’s the one who dropped it. Also, it doesn’t seem like anyone else in the theater noticed a random person pooping in the aisle.

This is even more evidence because Hillary Clinton is the one person that rich liberal theater goers wouldn’t report for taking a shit on the floor. In their minds, Hillary can do no wrong, so if they saw her pinching a loaf, they would think it was empowering and that she was breaking through the barriers that oppress women.

When a gun was found near Vince Foster’s body, it was concluded that he killed himself. Finding a couple of turds on the floor near Hillary Clinton leads to the conclusion that she shit herself. There’s no way anyone other than Hillary crapped in the aisle.

Having established means, she has an asshole, and opportunity, the shit was right there, we now only have to prove motivation. It could be that this production was not up to Hillary’s standards and she left her criticism on the floor. Maybe the words “Some Like It Hot” makes Hillary think about all the times Bill cheated on her and it caused a spontaneous rage doodoo.

More than likely, she’s old and has poor bowel control. Plus, she has utter contempt for the little people who had to clean it up, so this was 100% of her doing.