In a normal Christain church, sins are things like adultery, murder, and various blasphemies against God. In a progressive church however, there is no bigger infraction than the sin of being white. A whacko leftist sect has apologized profusely for the major sin of including a little white girl on the cover of its annual desk calendar. It’s unclear how many Rosaries and Hail Maries they had to do to atone, but it’s probably a lot.
The United Church of Christ is a pro-LGBTQ+ Protestant denomination that illegally helped Barack Obama get elected in 2008. They also put out a fun calendar every year, but 2024 is not all smiles. Behold:
If you are wondering what all of the fuss is, here’s United Church of Christ President Rev. John C. Dorhauer groveling:
I write to apologize for the ways in which the most recent edition of the UCC desk calendar failed to live up to our commitments to be an antiracist body.
It has been brought to my attention that a slight rotation of the cover image in either direction would more accurately reflect the racial equity we seek. I am grateful for such attention to the subtleties of racism and agree.
I want to thank those of you who took the time to write to me and share your disappointment, your outrage and your commitment to hold us accountable to our promises.
The cover does not reflect our strong commitment to antiracism. I apologize for that. Seeing how the image on the cover is plainly focused on the blonde-haired person makes it clear to me that there are still ways in which the centering of whiteness remains instantiated in our language, our art and our culture.
This is a reminder of the kind of diligence required to fully overcome the ravages of white privilege still embedded in our system, our psyche and our culture.
My deepest and sincerest apology to those whom this cover art offended and angered. Thank you again to those who took care and time to speak to me in ways that helped me recognize my short-sightedness. It is my hope that this ongoing covenantal commitment of holding each other accountable will lead us closer to the hoped for vision of a church and a culture free of the vestiges of white privilege and racism. We are on that journey, but not yet where God is calling us to go.
So the issue, it would appear, is that the blonde white girl is at the top of the circle and is therefore promoting white supremacy. It should be noted that there is a 4-eyed white boy at the bottom of the circle, which obviously indicates white subservience, but what evs.
Then again, this is a top-down view of a circle, so none of the children are at the top or bottom. They are all equal is a perfect circle. Also, it’s a f*cking cartoon drawing of some multi-cultural kids holding hands. Relax.
Despite putting out this “racist” calendar that promotes white supremacy, the UCC still has it available for sale on their website. For only $20, you too can assert your white privilege, or if you buy 5 or more, they only coast $18 each. Shop around, you won’t find a better bang for your racist buck than that.
It seems like if this calendar is really as offensive as the church claims, that hey would stop selling it and offer refunds for those who already bought it. Clearly they are guilty of the sin of greed. Come to think about it, they’re also guilty of the sin of stupidity, the sin of white guilt, and most of all, the sin of woke liberalism.
