The biggest WTF? this week was learning that Joe Biden can be easily defeated by a non-existent small bag of sand. Here’s some other pathetic WTF? losses:
Headline of the Week
Carjacker has his penis blasted off by armed cops in weird shootout battle
A bloke fighting against police officers in a shootout was left with no manhood after his penis was shot off.
Returning fire in the streets of Cape Two, South Africa, members of the force were left pinned down in their vehicles until they hit one of the two carjacking suspects.
The injured man was subsequently arrested but not before officers realised they had shot him right through his member during the an attempted car-jacking.
Mayoral Committee member Rob Quintas and his VIP team were unharmed in the attack which left them firing out at sharpshooters, eventually tagging one and bringing him in for further questioning.
Speaking of the attack, which took place at 2.40pm on the streets of Marconi Beam, Quintas explained the injured bloke made sure to drop his gun and show officers he had been disarmed and taken a bullet to the groin.
The injured man’s accomplice was not captured during the attack as he ran off as his bloodied pal struggled to deal with the gunshot wound to his penis.
His jacking days are over in more than one way.
Dropper of the Week
Man charged with indecent exposure after pants fall down near gas station
A 39-year-old Ocala man was arrested after his genitals were allegedly exposed outside of a local gas station on Thursday.
Shortly after the incident occurred, a Marion County Sheriff’s Office master sergeant responded to the Murphy Express gas station located at 17 Cedar Radial Pass. A male witness had contacted the sheriff’s office to advise that a man, later identified as Roland John Brooks, had exposed his sexual organs in public, according to the arrest report.
The witness told the sheriff’s office that he was at the gas station when he observed Brooks walking on the sidewalk. Brooks’ pants were “falling down,” and the witness began yelling at Brooks to “pull his pants up,” according to the MCSO report.
Brooks ignored the witness and continued to walk away when his pants “came down low enough,” and the witness advised that Brooks’ genitals were exposed. The witness informed the sheriff’s office that his young child was also at the gas station at the time of the incident.
The master sergeant observed the gas station’s video surveillance footage. In the MCSO report, the master sergeant noted that Brooks was walking along the sidewalk at the time of the incident when his pants began to fall down, though his sexual organs were not initially exposed.
The footage showed Brooks stopping to take his shirt off, and he then began walking away from the gas station. The master sergeant noted in the report that Brooks’ pants “fell down even further,” which exposed his sexual organs.
The master sergeant made contact with Brooks on Cedar Road. After being read his Miranda rights, Brooks admitted that his pants fell down and “some guy” was yelling at him. Brooks stated that he “doesn’t believe he exposed himself,” according to the MCSO report.
Hopefully they gave him a belt in jail.
Dope of the Week
Woman beaten to death and put in a blender during stay in rogue rehab centre
An American woman who booked herself into a dodgy Mexican rehab centre to treat a severe drug and alcohol addiction was slaughtered and put into a blender by the centre’s owners.
The owners of the Monarch rehabilitation centre, which lies in the heart of the border city of Ciudad Juárez, are currently on trial and could face life imprisonment for the cruel murder of the addiction-suffering woman.
Celia Yaneth Castañeda, a 35-year-old Kansas woman, was put into the rehab centre on May 17 by her relatives after living in the States with a drug and alcohol addiction for around 10 years.
She allegedly had a “violent episode” on her very first night and attacked both of the owners, according to local media reports.
The owners, identified as Diana Paola and Claudia Rubi, then allegedly beat the addiction-suffering woman to death before attempting to hide her body by cutting it into small pieces, according to a police report read out in court.
Cops were sickened when they found several plastic buckets filled with human flesh and bones in the bathtub, as well as plastic bags filled with even more bones in the centre, which the couple tried to run from when police arrived.
They found a blender filled with human flesh in the kitchen, leading investigators to determine that the alleged killers tried to liquefy the victim’s genitals along with her intestines.
On the bright side, she is no longer addicted to drugs.
Bullseye of the Week
Australia sends NZ-born grandma back after she stabbed man in anus
A Kiwi-born grandmother with schizophrenia has been booted out of Australia after she stabbed a man in the anus with a 15cm kitchen knife.
Susan Davis had been living across the ditch for more than 30 years when she was jailed in February last year for three years and six months on an admitted charge of grievous bodily harm.
The 57-year-old, however, was paroled in January this year and ordered to reside at the immigration detention centre, where she will remain until she boards a plane for New Zealand.
It said that in 2020, Davis was living with her son and her son’s 37-year-old friend in Western Australia.
One morning in August that year, the son and the friend were in the kitchen making breakfast.
Davis entered the kitchen, approached the son’s friend from behind and stabbed him in the anus with a kitchen knife that was up to 15cm in length.
“The blade had been inserted fully into the victim’s anus,” the tribunal’s decision detailed.
“The victim was wearing underwear and a pair of tracksuit pants. He suddenly felt something in his anus and, when he was stabbed, he reached around to feel the handle of a knife sticking out of his anus.
“The victim pulled the knife out of his anus and either dropped it on the floor, or placed it on the kitchen bench. He then went to lie down on the front verandah while waiting for an ambulance to arrive.”
Someone assisted him by applying pressure to his buttocks area with a rag. He was bleeding profusely.
Asshole-on-asshole crime.
Loser of the Week
Man rescued after deodorant gets lost in his rectum
A grown man had to be rushed into emergency surgery — after he got a can stuck in his can.
No, this is not sophomoric potty humor: An unidentified 30-year-old male required medical assistance “two hours after inserting a deodorant canister into his rectum,” according to a cringey case study published in the Visual Journal of Emergency Surgery.
The Iranian patient was experiencing “acute abdominal pain” as a result of his heinous anus-pursuit of sexual pleasure via what’s termed “foreign body” or “FB” in the medical community, his attending physicians at the Tehran University of Medical Sciences’ emergency department reported.
There were initially no associated symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, rectal bleeding or abnormal bowel movements, the co-authors noted. The patient’s vital signs also were normal, and he had no past medical or drug history other than an “uncomplicated previous rectal foreign body insertion.”
However, the Iranian man was reportedly in too much pain for a standard rectal investigation — so the surgeon was forced to use X-rays to find it had traveled into his digestive track.
Surgeons made an incision on his stomach and removed the errant anti-perspirant. The patient spent one day under observation — and met with a psychiatrist — before being discharged from the hospital.
Iranians still haven’t figured out what deodorant is for.
Eyesore of the Week
Model hits high street in tiny skirt and crop top – but ‘hates being stared at’
Model Gracie Bon usually loves attention online.
However, the influencer – who boasts 3.2million Instagram fans – clearly doesn’t like to be looked at in real life as much.
The bombshell, from Panama, went online to moan about people staring at her in the street this week as she enjoyed a trip to Paris, France.
It was clear to see why Gracie turned heads as she showed off her curvy figure in a skimpy purple crop top teamed with a matching tiny skirt.
The 25-year-old was also wearing a fluffy jacket, however she left it open – meaning it didn’t cover much at all.
She was seen smouldering straight down the camera lens as she posed on the streets of Paris before turning around to give people a view of her curvy rear.
Captioning the Instagram post, she wrote: “I hate being stared at but I understand.”
Followed immediately by a run on eye wash at Paris drug stores.
Sister of the Week
Adopted ‘child’ who turned out to be 22-year-old woman would ‘urinate and defecate’ on brother
The adopted ‘child’ who turned out to be a 22-year-old woman would ‘urinate and defecate’ on her brother, her adoptive father has claimed in an explosive new documentary.
Kristine and Michael Barnett were convinced they’d adopted a six-year-old Ukrainian girl when they welcomed Natalia Grace – who has a form of dwarfism called spondyloepiphyseal – into their lives back in 2010.
However, within hours of the adoption, they began to pick up on strange signs that not everything was as it seemed with their daughter, with the Barnetts later saying she was secretly an adult attempting to harm their family.
The wild story is now being explored in a new six-part Investigation Discovery documentary, The Curious Case of Natalia Grace, which features interviews with family members, former neighbors and friends.
In the first episode, Michael opens up about the ‘abject horror’ the family was subjected to by Natalia, claiming she would torment his sons.
Jacob, one of Michael and Kristine’s biological children, admits there was a ‘lack of trust’ between them and Natalia, saying: “Natalia did have behavioral issues.
“[…] The adoption process must be traumatic – I mean, abandonment issues are a thing, and Natalia was abandoned multiple times because she was with another family in America before she came to us.”
Michael says Natalia had been with them for four months when they started to witness her ‘dark side’.
He recalls: “We had a 2007 Jeep Commander, with three rows of seats. But Natalia always tried to sit next to my youngest, the smallest – my six-year-old Ethan.
“And she would do whatever she could to upset him. She would purposely wait until she was next to him in the car and then she would do her best to urinate on him, she would defecate in the car and put her hand in it and try to smear it on Ethan.”
It’s nice to see Ukraine finally giving something back.
Mug of the Week
‘Strange Bulge’ In Escambia Woman’s Pants Leads To Meth Arrest
The Atmore Police Department says a “strange bulge” in an Escambia County (Florida) woman’s pants led to her arrest on a methamphetamine related charge.
Sydni Weatherholtz, age 30 of Pensacola, was charged with unlawful possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance, according to police.
About 7:35 p.m. on May 31, Atmore Police Narcotics Agents conducted a traffic stop on a vehicle that failed to signal during a turn onto Highway 21. Officers said Weatherholtz was a passenger in the vehicle.
“While speaking with Weatherholtz an officer noticed a strange bulge in her pants. Upon further investigation Waetherholtz was in possession of approximately 14 grams of a clear crystal-like substance that field tested positive for Methamphetamine,” Atmore Police Sgt. Darrell McMann said.
Why hasn’t there been any further investigation into Michelle Obama’s strange bulge?
Munchers of the Week
Horrified woman catches ‘naked witches’ feasting on deer’s corpse with wildlife cam
A nature-loving woman says she was left terrified after she claimed to have documented evidence of two naked “witches” chowing down on a dead deer in a “carcass-eating ritual”.
Corinea Stanhope, from Powell River in Canada, said that after she found a dead deer on her property, she set up a hidden wildlife camera to see what sort of animals would be attracted to it.
But the mum, 36, was disturbed when she and her grandad checked the camera’s footage and saw two near-naked women hunkered over the deer’s corpse while seemingly “dining” on it.
Pictures handed over to the Mirror reveal two pale, half-naked figures with thick matted hair crouching over the dead deer.
The two terrifying figures were seen picking up one of the deer’s hooves and biting into it.
Corinea says she’s now terrified for her family, as the camera was set up a two-minute walk from her house, and she keeps three horses on her property.
“They came ten minutes after sunset. They looked dishevelled. It looks like they have wigs on. One looks like she has blonde hair underneath.
“You can’t really tell from the photos but the hoof was brought right up to her mouth.
“I don’t know if she was kissing it, smelling or eating it but to touch a decaying carcass like that makes me feel sick. The amount of bacteria that must have been on there.
“Maybe they were paying their respects but they were naked.
Corinea said that while she was tempted to call the police on the freaky pair, her granddad pointed out that technically they weren’t doing anything illegal.
“I’m hoping they went for a walk in the day, saw the trail cam was set up and wanted to have a bit of fun with us or they’re on some good drugs,” she said.
Any drugs that make you eat a rotting carcass are not good drugs.
WTF? Yeah! of the Week
Speeding car flies through the air after launching off tow truck ramp on highway in wild video
A 21-year-old Tallahassee woman is lucky to be alive after her vehicle went airborne on a south Georgia highway last week.
Join us during the Eyewitness News at 4 p.m. today to learn more about what happened. @wctv pic.twitter.com/xpxXMTydfR
— Katie Kaplan (@KatieKaplanTV) May 30, 2023
A video has emerged showing a car in Georgia flying through the air after launching off the ramp of a tow truck while traveling at a high rate of speed.
The incredible accident caught on bodycam footage happened May 24 while deputies from the Lowndes County Sheriff’s Office were responding to the scene of a crash along Highway 84 in the southern part of the state.
The video begins with police standing on one side of the highway’s center median next to a vehicle that appeared to have flipped over.
As a deputy walks toward that wreck, a car can be seen speeding toward a tow truck parked on the other side of the highway.
That car then launches itself off the tow truck’s lowered ramp and sails through the air before coming to a stop in an upright position.
The deputy could be seen sprinting toward the vehicle and is heard requesting EMS assistance.
Debris also is seen scattered across the highway.
The Georgia State Patrol told WSB-TV that the driver in that accident survived but was hospitalized with serious injuries.
A police incident report said the car “vaulted” around 120 feet over the tow truck after launching off its ramp, the station added.
While landing, the vehicle hit another car that was traveling along the highway at the same time, causing it to be thrown a further 23 feet after impact, according to WBS-TV, citing the Georgia State Patrol incident report.
Looks like them Duke boys found themselves in another spot of trouble.
