This week’s biggest WTF? saw Joe Biden pretend like he cares about the illegal immigration crisis he created. Here’s some other WTF? that is pure bullshit:
Headline of the Week
Ozempic burned off my genitals — I found pieces of charred skin on the toilet
Ozempic, the trendy drug that many say helps burn excess fat, had a horrific side effect for one woman with diabetes.
Maria Rosas, a professor of Pharmacology Health at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley, penned a testimonial on her Ozempic use to Newsweek, revealing that she suffered “severe burns” and “charred skin” on her vagina, anus and buttocks owing to the once-weekly jabs.
At one point, she feared she would die from the excruciating pain from the medication — often called a “miracle” drug for its weight-shedding properties, despite being created to treat type-2 diabetes.
“I noticed ‘pieces’ of skin on my toilet seat and on the tissue paper when I cleaned [my genital] area,” she wrote.
“I checked, and my genitals, anus, and buttocks were severely burned, some areas with charred skin,” she said. “It was as if I was exposed to sunlight for days.”
After discovering her singed and sore undercarriage, the alarmed granny immediately notified her healthcare provider.
“The pain was so intense that I called my doctor,” Rosas remembered. “He immediately told me to discontinue Ozempic, and he told me it may have caused this issue, as one of the less talked about side effects is rashes, itching, or hives.”
“I panicked,” she added, “because I knew that these adverse effects were not normal.”
So, she had a fat vagina?
Prick of the Week
Spalding visitor was shocked seeing a man inject drugs into his penis behind HSBC in Market Place
A second sighting of a man injecting drugs into his penis in the town centre has been reported by shocked visitor.
The woman, who did not wish to be named, was horrified to see a man with his pants down injecting himself in HSBC car park in Spalding at 11am on Monday.
She had reported the issue to staff in the Market Place branch.
The woman said: “At the back of the bank I saw two men. One of them had his pants down injecting himself in privates.
“I cannot believe that this was happening in Spalding.”
She was planning to report this issue to Lincolnshire Police.
We have also contacted HSBC for comment.
Trader Sharla Slayven had reported a similar incident in which a man was seen to be injecting his penis outside Lloyds Bank in Market Place at 7.45am on September 21.
She had called on the police – who said they were investigating the incident – and South Holland District Council to ‘man up’ to tackle the anti-social behaviour which has been blighting the town.
A rare UK Hunter Biden sighting.
Tool of the Week
Aussie denies forcing home invasion victim to cut off part of penis
An Australian man is vowing to fight charges that he forced another man to cut off part of his penis with a knife during a violent home invasion.
Jayden Daniel Sobey, 32, of Mermaid Beach on the Gold Coast, has been charged with one count each of grievous bodily harm, torture, deprivation of liberty, and robbery.
According to cops, Sobey and two other men broke into a home on Sept. 7, 2020. A 35-year-old man inside allegedly was punched, beaten and kicked by the trio.
Investigators claim that the thugs had armed themselves with knives and proceeded to rummage through the victim’s belongings, lifting $200 in cash and his mobile phone.
The man was then allegedly forced to sit on his couch.
He told cops one of the crooks snarled at him: “You’re not going anywhere until you cut your d*** off.”
The man was then handed a serrated knife.
Cops say that while the thugs watched, the man tried to cut off around two millimetres his penis. When the knife failed to have the desired effect because of a dull blade, he used the mobile phone as a hammer.
Stop. Hammer time!
Hammerhead of the Week
Teens hit themselves with hammers to ‘readjust face’ in shocking new trend
A shocking new trend which sees teenagers hit themselves in the face with hammers has sparked outrage, with doctors warning of the very obvious dangers.
The viral “bone-smashing” trend has seen videos emerge of people hitting their faces with hammers, bottles, massagers, weights or other blunt objects to break or fracture their bones.
The idiotic theory behind the scary trend is that the participant’s bones will heal in a more desirable alignment in the hopes of reshaping their facial structure to become “more attractive”. But there is no evidence this is the case.
Despite the danger, videos with the phrase ‘bone smashing tutorial’ have already garnered over 364 million views on TikTok.
Just when you thought Gen Z couldn’t get any dumber.
Pipe Cleaner of the Week
‘My boyfriend was scared to clean penis – I cleared 20 years of build up for him’
One woman revealed she’s been hired to clean her boyfriend’s bits and bobs – because it “freaks him out”. Speaking on The Off Hook Podcast, a caller spilled all with Dee Salmin and Pip Rasmussen.
She admitted to cleaning her boyfriend’s penis every week to clear “20 years of build up”. The Australian caller left the podcast hosts baffled as she shared the confession.
The woman admitted: “I had to clean my partner’s penis for three years.” Clearly baffled by the announcement, Dee asked: “Excuse me? While Pip added: “What do you mean, clean? Give us more details, please.”
She explained: “Like the foreskin on his penis didn’t come back all the way. We’d gone to a doctor and everything and they couldn’t really do anything to help it.”
Then she went on to reveal how her boyfriend “got very funny” about any situation which involved “touching his penis”. Yes, you heard that right.
The woman continued: “So I had to use lube and a Q-tip it to clean 20-something years of build up.”
Unsurprisingly, Dee and Pip were stunned by the revelation. “Oh my God,” gasped Pip, while Dee asked the obvious question: “Why wouldn’t he do it himself?
The caller went on: “Just the whole situation of, like, his penis just freaked him out? [He] wouldn’t masturbate to that point like that’s how bad it was.
“And so, it kind of got put down to me for three years to clean it. I don’t know why/was maintaining it.”
The video was captioned: “First there was the mental load, now there’s this d*ck cheese load.” Now that’s one thoughtful girlfriend…
She’s a keeper.
Wedgie of the Week
Seriously, cross your legs on Disney World water slides — it could save you from vaginal laceration
Careening down a water slide can be an exhilarating experience for some. But it can also be riddled with the risk of serious or permanent injury, as evidenced by a woman’s lawsuit against Disney World.
In legal documents obtained by Insider, the woman, named Emma McGuinness, alleged that she suffered “permanent bodily injury,” including vaginal lacerations, or cuts inside her vagina that caused heavy bleeding, after riding the park’s 214-foot-long Humunga Kowabunga slide. McGuinness also alleged that she suffered a hernia, where her bowels protruded “through her abdominal wall.”
According to the lawsuit, McGuinness could have walked away from the slide injury-free if Disney told her and others to follow certain safety protocols, like wearing protective clothing and explaining the purpose of certain guidelines, like being told to cross their legs at their ankles while riding.
The lawsuit alleges that McGuinness was made aware of this ankle-crossing protocol, but not how important it was for her safety when she rode the slide in 2019.
They should change the name of the slide to Humuga Vaginabunga.
Jeweler of the Week
Giraffe poop seized at Minnesota airport from woman planning to make necklace out of it
Customs agents seized and destroyed a box of giraffe poop at a Minnesota airport after a woman brought the feces to the U.S. from Kenya, officials said Thursday.
The Iowa woman was selected for inspection on Sept. 29 by agriculture specialists from the customs agency, and she told them she was in possession of giraffe feces. She planned to use the giraffe excrement to make a necklace, according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection. The woman told officials at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport that she’d used moose droppings to make jewelry in the past.
The giraffe poop was destroyed via steam sterilization in accordance with United States Department of Agriculture destruction protocol.
“There is a real danger with bringing fecal matter into the U.S.,” CBP’s Chicago field director LaFonda D. Sutton-Burke said in a statement. “If this person had entered the U.S. and had not declared these items, there is high possibility a person could have contracted a disease from this jewelry and developed serious health issues.”
The agency said Kenya is currently affected with African swine fever, classical swine fever, Newcastle disease, foot and mouth disease and swine vesicular disease.
And yet we let shit people in by the tens of millions.
Pisser of the Week
Man arrested for urinating on downstairs neighbors
A 68-year-old Cleveland man, Gregory “Greg” McClain Jenkins, is accused of urinating on his downstairs neighbors on Sept. 27, leading to his arrest by Cleveland Police Department officers.
According to Cleveland Police Chief Darrel Broussard, at around 7:30 p.m., Officers Rodriguez and Crisanto with the Cleveland PD Patrol Division responded to an information call in reference to an upstairs neighbor urinating in public at the Cleveland Square Apartments, 101 E. Waco St.
“Upon officers’ arrival, they spoke to several witnesses who advised they were sitting outside their apartment when a male subject that lives above them began urinating over the balcony splashing them with urine. The downstairs neighbors stated [that] they began screaming for the subject to stop, and he yelled profanity back at them, and continued urinating,” according to a statement from Chief Broussard. “The male subject pulled his pants back up and turned, and went back inside his apartment.”
Officer Rodriguez made contact with the male suspect at his apartment; he walked out onto the balcony and reportedly told officers that nothing had happened prior to their arrival. The subject denied urinating over the balcony.
“Officers attempted to detain the subject he then became uncooperative and became physically combative with officers, and resisted being handcuffed. After officers physically struggled with the subject, he was cuffed and placed under arrest. The subject, after being cuffed, refused to be placed inside of the patrol car. Eventually, the subject got inside the vehicle and was transported to the Cleveland PD jail,” according to Broussard.
Many witnesses reportedly told police there have been ongoing issues with Jenkins exposing himself and urinating outside. The subject allegedly has been warned several times about past similar behavior. Officers were able to photograph a large wet area on the sidewalk where the alleged incident was said to have occurred.
Black Piss Matters!
WTF? of the Week
Parents of baby born with ‘Wolverine hair’ share that tot gets cruelly trolled
Parents revealed that their 10-month-old baby son looks like ‘Wolverine’ due a rare genetic condition – but gets trolled online.
Joao Miguel, from Cascavel, Parana State, Brazil, was diagnosed hirsutism – which means the little boy’s hair grows at a rapid rate in comparison to his peers. Even though he’s not one yet, the tot already sports a full head of thick hair and appears to have an Elvis-esque quiff
Along with sideburns, bushy eyebrows and a little beard, Joao Miguel has thick dark hair on his chest and arms. His mum, 20-year-old Ane Caroline dos Santos Brite, revealed that her adorable son was born with the thick hair and it will continue grow as he gets older.
After he was born, she consulted a endocrinologist in the their city and were told that “not much can be done” due to him having the genetic condition. Dad Jonas explained that condition actually runs in the family. He said that he himself has hirsutism, along with his mum and grandfather.
“It comes from my mother,” Jonas said. “I was born like this, she was too, and my grandfather was too.
The mum has now started to share cute clips of Joao on TikTok where he quickly went viral. The social media profile has over 150,000 followers and one clip even reached over 22million views as he played with a rubber duck. Ane was blown away by all of the lovely messages she received regarding her hairy son.
However, not everyone is so kind. The mum shared that little Joao Miguel gets trolled due to his appearance, although she tries not to focus on them.
“We try not to see and not to care because what matters is the love we feel for him,” she urged. “There are many mean and nasty comments, but we are focusing only on the good ones. We are very happy to know how many people love him and wish him well.”
Stop putting him on social media and watch the nasty comments disappear.
