MC Hammer said it best back in 1989, when he released his song, that for whatever bizarre reason became a hit single back in 1989. “Can’t Touch This.” But I have a feeling that a woman in Texas took this song to heart and used it for her own nefarious purposes.
In Texas, one Attaree Milton (aka Dindu Nuffin) was fleeing from the police in her car when she began peeling off her clothing and throwing it out the window. Was it an attempt to have an article of clothing affix itself to the following police car’s windshield, thus blinding him and ending the pursuit? No. I fear it was something much more devious. I think her idea was that no police officer in their right mind would want to touch her corpulent naked body and therefore, she could escape.
ABC 13 reported this ingenious attempt to evade arrest
Baytown police arrest woman they say stripped off her clothes during chase
BAYTOWN, Texas (KTRK) — Baytown police arrested a woman they say stripped off her clothes during a police chase.
I know you already saw her picture in the preview to this article but let’s look at it again. It will reinforce the theory I put forth above. Plus I’m mean-spirited. 😉
Behold, the creature!
Egads! That is one hurtful looking woman. That’s all the evidence I need to support my theory, that no one would touch her when she was naked.
Officers say they found Attaree Milton’s car parked horizontally across State Highway 146 at Massey Tompkins Saturday afternoon.
An officer checking on the car says Milton jumped in the car and sped off, taking off her clothes and throwing them out the window as police followed her.
Officers say after running through several red lights, Milton eventually stopped, and got out of the car without any clothing on. She ran into a nearby open field and fell to the ground. Additional officers arrived on the scene and took Milton into custody without further incident.
Fell to the ground? That’s not what a witness says . . .
. . . she “jumped in the ditch full of water.” Mercifully, Attaree’s nakedness is blurred out in the video. She was already disgusting enough, but decided to take it further by jumping in a ditch, covering her disgusting fatbody in filthy muck. Great idea Attaree, but it didn’t work.
Milton, 26, was already out on parole for assault on a peace officer in Austin. She’s now also charged with evading in a motor vehicle.
And to you all BLM fans out there, although this maniac once assaulted on of their own, as stated in the video, the police didn’t shoot her. They didn’t even TASE her. What a wasted opportunity to kill an unarmed black person like cops always do, right? What in the world were they thinking about? Myth busted.
Oh, and I can’t find any mention that Attaree was under the influence at the time. One has to assume that this is just is just normal behavior for her. I wanna party with you, cowgirl.
