Should Beto change his name to Weirdo?
Quirky Democrat Beto O’Rourke just announced his run for the White House and the opposition researchers are already having a field day.
The 46-year-old Texan is the darling of celebrities and bong-pounding slackers alike because “you know dude, he just wants to save the world or something…” but in just the second day of his candidacy, the upstart who nearly toppled Ted Cruz in last November’s Senate race is already the subject of a number of embarrassing stories which one that you could expect from a man who livestreams his dental visits.
At one time, then Robert “Bob” O’Rourke fancied himself as something of a writer and in one of his stories which is being described as a “murder fantasy” had a plotline about running over kids.
REVEALED: Democrat Beto O'Rourke Wrote Fantasy About Murdering Childrenhttps://t.co/NZYRivK231
— Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) March 15, 2019
“As I neared the young ones, I put all my weight on my right foot, keeping the accelerator pedal on the floor until I heard the crashing of the two children on the hood, and then the sharp cry of pain from one of the two. I was so fascinated for a moment, that when after I had stopped my vehicle, I just sat in a daze, sweet visions filling my head.”
This is wild —>
Beto O’Rourke’s secret membership in America’s oldest hacking group https://t.co/pzswBrlPZ5 via @SpecialReports pic.twitter.com/pWImVBSLV9
— Emily Ramshaw (@eramshaw) March 15, 2019
Additionally, a Reuters profile tabbed Beto as a member of the infamous hacking collective The Cult of the Dead Cow which will do little to quash the ideas of some who found O’Rourke’s dressing up in a creepy purple sheep suit in a punk rock band was Satanic.
You want to see @BetoORourke in a onesie and sheep mask singing punk rock songs? Well, @MotherJones can help!https://t.co/OI2hwSmvBt
— David Corn (@DavidCornDC) January 23, 2019
But the best yet?
The multi-talented eccentric was also a freaking poet!
‘Wax My Ass, Scrub My Balls’ — This Beto O’Rourke Poem From 1988 Is Beyond Belief https://t.co/YGLhqvQJi6 pic.twitter.com/sXmh5cPgOY
— The Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) March 15, 2019
Thanks to the diligent muckrakers at the Daily Caller, we have yet one more example of just how totally fucking weird that this man is – and has always been.
Via The DC “Wax My Ass, Scrub My Balls” – this Beto O’Rourke Poem From 1988 Is Beyond Belief”:
Beto O’Rourke’s recently unearthed membership in the hacking group “Cult of the Dead Cow” may not have included the “edgiest sorts of hacking activity,” but it did, apparently, include writing murder fantasies and exceptionally bad poetry.
Writing under the now-exposed pseudonym “Psychedelic Warlord,” a teen-aged O’Rourke appears to be the author of a poem titled “The Song of the Cow,” published in 1988 by “cDc (Cult of the Dead Cow) communications.”
“I need a butt-shine,” the poem begins … and it really all just goes downhill from there:
I need a butt-shine,
Right now
You are holy,
Oh, sacred Cow
I thirst for you,
Provide Milk.Buff my balls,
Love the Cow,
Good fortune for those that do.
Love me, breathe my feet,
The Cow has risen.Wax my ass,
Scrub my balls.
The Cow has risen,
Provide Milk.The poem, for better or for worse, has been preserved forever by the Google Wayback Machine as a part of the group’s former website, cultdeadcow.com. Here’s a screengrab of the entire poem.
See it HERE.
‘Wax My Ass, Scrub My Balls’ — This Beto O’rourke Poem from 1988 Is Beyond Belief ..
*** I'm sure the LIBERAL media will be gushing & fawning over this 'rock star's' creativity 🤣🤣🤣WATCH FULL POETRY READING HERE: https://t.co/9GEyi6m9IG @DailyCaller pic.twitter.com/mtbF4LjWyD
— Stephanie Hamill (@STEPHMHAMILL) March 16, 2019
Beto and AOC are the reigning king and queen of the dumbasses and it’s terrifying because they are the two most popular Democrats in the USA right now.