The biggest WTF? this week isn’t that democrats are finally fed up with AOC but rather that it took them this long to realize what an incompetent irritating moron she is. Here’s some other WTF? that boggles the mind:
Headline of the Week
CBU instructor fired after demanding sex, moose meat and lobster for better grades
A faculty member at Cape Breton University has been terminated for demanding sex, moose meat and lobster from a student who was struggling in his course in exchange for better grades.
The woman, who doesn’t want to be identified, said she went to university officials Feb. 7 after the employee suggested that they could be “friends with benefits” during an extra-help session he offered to the woman and another female student.
“I had started to become very uncomfortable with some of the questions he was asking, such as how many sexual partners we had, if we had ever done drugs or did crazy partying before,” the woman said in an interview via Facebook.
She said she had brought moose meat and lobster that day for the employee after he asked her to provide it in exchange for better grades. She said she knew it was wrong, but she was struggling with some of his morning quizzes and they counted for a large part of her final grade.
After the help session, the employee came out to the woman’s car to get the moose meat and lobster.
When they got to the car, she said he demanded they have sex.
“He claimed I had to do it, as my grades depended on it,” the woman said. “He continued to say ‘Yes you will, you will do it,’ over and over, even though I made it clear to him at this point that I was very uncomfortable.”
I just can’t get past the moose meat thing.
Fight of the Week
Police: Man in underwear arrested at animal shelter after fighting invisible nemesis
A Berea man was arrested after police found him allegedly in his underwear at a local animal shelter fighting someone who was not there.
…Aaron Noland was outside the Madison County Animal Shelter in his underwear, throwing things at passing motorists.
Court documents say noland was screaming at someone who was not there and was not making any sense. He told officers he hadn’t slept in weeks and that “his heart was not beating.”
Noland was taken into custody and charged with Public Intoxication of a Controlled Substance.
But did he win the fight? Also, is a “drug ninja” a thing?
Dick of the Week
Titans’ Mike Vrabel says he’d cut off his penis to win a Super Bowl
Tennessee Titans coach Mike Vrabel really wants to win a Super Bowl and would go to great lengths to make sure it would happen. Vrabel was recently a guest on the podcast Bussin’ with the Boys which is hosted by former Titans linebacker Will Compton and current Titans lineman Taylor Lewan.
Lewan: Matt Neely (an assistant for the show) said he would cut off his d–k for a, uno, Super Bowl, and I said, No I would not do that. Would you cut your d–k off for a Super Bowl?
Vrabel: Been married 20 years. Yeah, probably.
Lewan: You’ve got three!
Vrabel: As a player…. You guys will be married for 20 years one day. You won’t need it.
Lewan: If you come home with a bag of ice, and Jen is like ‘Oh honey what did you do.’ I cut …my d–k off, we’re gonna win a Super Bowl, she’d be like “eh,” or would she be upset?
Vrabel: She’d be like do you want me to do it? Do you want to do it now?
Remember the Titans
Balls of the Week
The strange fish, the species of which is yet to be confirmed, was caught in the village of Somate, in Northern Peru.
Farmer Jorge Chavez, 32, was fishing with a net in an irrigation canal close to where he and his colleagues were working when he spotted the bizarre fish in his catch.
The fish reportedly weighs just under five kilogrammes (11 lbs), and appears to have a row of teeth that bear a striking resemblance to human molars and incisors along its bottom jaw.
The fisherman says he decided to keep the strange fish, and plans to sample it with his family – but is waiting to hear back from authorities if the strange looking fish is safe to eat first.
“It scared my family and the village, that is why I will wait until the authorities determine if the meat is harmless.
It is not known if the fish’s teeth are a malformation, but Anthony Sanchez, commenting on social media, claimed to recognise the fish.
“Be careful as these kinds of fish are known as testicle eaters,” he wrote.
Sanchez is referring to the Pacu, a fish native to South America that is recognisable by its massive human-like chops.
And they say it takes balls to swim with the sharks.
No Balls of the Week
Vigilante mob rips off accused child rapist’s testicles
An accused child rapist has died after a vigilante mob ripped off his testicles in a frenzied attack in the South African city of Johannesburg.
The incident took place after a local allegedly stumbled across at least three men gang raping two girls aged 14 and 18 in the Ivory Park settlement of Lindokuhle on Saturday night.
The passer-by called other community members for back up and a group raced to the scene to rescue to victims, Gauteng Police Colonel Lungelo Dlamini told News24.
The vigilantes collared the trio before two of the men managed to break free and escape.
A third man could not outrun the mob and was badly beaten before having his testicles ripped off, resulting in his death…
He died as he lived.
Vag of the Week
She wrote a poem about a vagina. It landed her in jail
The academic, who has been in Luzira Women’s Prison for eight months, is on trial after the government accused her of “cyber harassment and offensive communication” for penning and posting a poem on Facebook.
The poem, published last September, uses a graphic description of the birth of the Ugandan President and his mother’s vagina to criticize his “oppression, suppression and repression” of the country, which he has ruled for over 30 years.
“Yoweri, they say it was your birthday yesterday. How horrifically cancerous a day!” reads part of the now infamous vagina poem.
“I wish the infectious dirty-brown discharge flooding Esiteri’s [Museveni’s mother’s] loose pussy had drowned you to death / Drowned you as vilely as you have sank and murdered the dreams and aspirations of millions of youths who languish in the deep sea of massive unemployment, and under-emplyment (sic) in Uganda.”
No wonder she’s in prison. That thing doesn’t rhyme for shit.
Weedwacker of the Week
Man masturbates in woman’s yard after she rejects his offer to do yard work, SC cops say
Shawn Demetrius Clark went to a Spartanburg home Sunday morning and approached a woman who was outside with her dog, and offered to do yard work, police said in a news release.
The woman said she was not interested, but gave the 46-year-old Spartanburg man water in a Styrofoam cup after he asked for a drink, according to the news release.
She told police she thought Clark would leave because she was getting ready for church, but after walking into the neighboring yard, he returned to the back steps…
From inside the home, the woman’s daughter said she saw Clark masturbate, police said.
When he was finished with the sex act, Clark tried to jump a fence in the backyard, but failed and was soon taken into custody by police, according to the news release.
Clark refused to cooperate, declining to give officers his name and was “unruly and passively resisted being cuffed,” police said in the release.
Police then discovered that Clark’s “shorts were unzipped, and his genitals were exposed,”
Is “raking the leaves” new slang for fapping?
Prescription of the Week
Paddy McGuinness was ordered to masturbate 50 times by doctors after his vasectomy
The 45-year-old Top Gear host is a dad of three with wife Christine, and underwent the snip last month where he described in vivid detail the effects on his ‘old nicky nacky noos’ afterwards.
Speaking on Loose Women with presenting partner Keith Lemon, Paddy described some of the upsides of vasectomy life – namely getting a prescription to masturbate with immediate effect.
‘Any gentlemen in the audience or at home thinking about it,’ Paddy began. ‘The thing about a vasectomy is what they don’t tell you…’
Thinking about his language for a daytime TV audience, Paddy added: ‘The doctor says when you have it done, you’ve got to be “by yourself” 50 times, so lads you actually have a license to do it. It’s the doctor’s orders.
It’s kind of like bleeding the breaks.
Workman’s Comp of the Week
Two city of Detroit workers have been injured by an apparent prank gone wrong at a fire truck facility near Eastern Market.
Metro Times reports firecrackers exploded when the workers sat down on toilet seats Wednesday.
One worker was hospitalized with an injured leg and scrotum. The other worker’s condition was unclear.
Maybe it was just explosive diarrhea.
Delorean of the Week
On July 10 around 4:00 p.m., Kolb allegedly approached a group of neighbors in the 3300 block of Main Street in Conewago Township and told them it was the year 2015, according to the police release.
Then, Kolb tried to convince the neighbors that he had a time machine activated in his trailer, and he was from the future (2019).
Kolb allegedly attempted to use dates on his mail and a can of oysters with a 2019 expiration date.
Police arrested Kolb, who was found to be wanted on a simple assault warrant out of both Lancaster and York Counties.
During his arrest, police also noted that he was found to be in possession of a small baggie of white powder.
I wonder if it was flux capacitor powder.
Hair Crime of the Week
Mullet man wanted for ‘swiping sex toys and lollies’ on Gold Coast
A man with a spectacular receding mullet and facial tattoos inked in elegant, cursive script is on the run after allegedly swiping sex toys from a Gold Coast store.
The man is accused of asking a worker at an Oxenford sex shop to inspect some adult toys before promptly running off with almost $500 in merchandise.
The same man is wanted over a string of other crimes, including the theft of two cars, and pinching a mobile phone and two sour gecko lollies from a Surfers Paradise convenience store.
Anyone who spots to man, whose facial and skull tattoos read “Never take my soul” and “Death before dishonour”, has been urged to contact police.
That’s a skullet, not a mullet
Hate Crime of the Week
KFC Obliterated By Explosion In North Carolina
About two hours after a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant closed for business on Wednesday night, a massive blast reduced it to rubble within seconds.
The explosion in the small town of Eden, N.C., which happened Thursday just after 12:30 a.m., was captured in dramatic surveillance footage from a neighboring pharmacy.
It shows a quiet building under street lights, when suddenly the frame fills with white from the blast. Smoke and flames erupt from the demolished building, and debris and sparks fall from the sky.
It’s like burning a cross on someone’s yard.
WTF? of the Week
I’ve spent £116k becoming a real-life Barbie with 34J boobs but strangers call me a monster
A WOMAN who has spent more than £100,000 transforming herself into a real-life Barbie with 34J boobs says she’s far from done with cosmetic ops.
Surgery addict Konstantia Dimola, 40, from Amsterdam, Netherlands, dreams of having the “biggest boobs in the world” and gets her lip fillers topped up every month.
The model has had five boob jobs, liposuction on her “fat” ankles, a nose job, face contouring, eye lift, non-surgical face lift and fillers in her lips and cheeks in her quest to become a living doll.
In total, she has forked out a whopping £116,722 on her drastic transformation.
Despite loving her plastic look, Konstantia claims strangers abuse her in the street, with some cruelly dubbing her a “monster” or “zoo animal”, but it doesn’t deter her.
Now check her out without the sunglasses:
Still not as offensive as the hijab-wearing Jihadi Barbie.
