We all know that the ridiculous “zero tolerance” policies in our schools gets kindergartners suspended for biting a Pop-Tart in to the shape of a pistol or making a finger gun gesture. Apparently finger guns are a no-no for adults too and are even criminal. A man in Pennsylvania was convicted of pointing his finger gun at a neighbor and the state superior court upheld his conviction saying it represented a credible threat. Everything is now officially stupid.
Fox News reports that 64-year-old Stephen Kirchner was walking in front of his neighbor’s house last year. The two neighbors had previous confrontations but never anything physical. The report is pretty confusing, but the best I can figure is that the neighbor said something and then flipped Kirchner a double-bird. After getting two middle fingers, Kirchner made a finger gun and pretended to shoot the neighbor.
Another neighbor saw this and called the police. I’m not sure why the Manor Township, PA police took this call seriously, but they did and arrested Kirchner. He was eventually convicted of disorderly conduct.
Here, take a look at this horrific crime:
If a finger gun is a shooting threat, why isn’t a middle finger a rape threat? The middle finger means “f*ck you” and the neighbor threw up two of those, so why wasn’t the neighbor also cited for implied sexual assault?
Kirchner appealed the silly conviction and the Superior Court of Pennsylvania upheld it stating that the finger gun “served no legitimate purpose, and recklessly risked provoking a dangerous altercation.”
What? Middle fingers don’t provoke dangerous altercations? Flipping birds have started more fights than any other hand gesture in the history assholekind. Next to tequila shots, middle fingers are the biggest fight starter there is.
With this ruling the Superior Court of Pennsylvania is saying that making a finger gun is not a protected form of free speech. Looking at it another way, disarming people now literally means limiting what they are allowed to with their arms.
It’s just a matter of time before the democrats ban human arms and confiscate them under the guise of a mandatory arm “buy back” program. The muscular arms will be the first to go. Arms designed for the boxing ring have no place on our streets. Nobody needs a high-capacity military-style buff arm to wave hello or recycle plastic bottles.
The thing is, there’s a lot of democrats out there who have made this gesture too. I’m almost certain they will include a carve-out for themselves because all of their stupid rules are meant for others not them.
Here’s Barack Obama threatening a terrorist attack:
Look out! Elizabeth Warren is about to go on a killing spree:
Joe Biden is gonna blast two holes in your punk ass:
This whole thing is as stupid as arresting a guy for attempted murder because he was running around making chainsaw noises. Clearly a finger is not a firearm and is incapable of shooting someone.
