It’s almost Halloween and Hillary Clinton proved that she’s still the craziest scariest person alive. The biggest WTF? this week is that she believes she could enter the 2020 race and win. Here’s some more terrifying delusions:
Headline of the Week
India’s Most Wanted Poacher Who Ate Bear Penis to Boost Virility Arrested
New Delhi: A notorious poacher who has a bizarre obsession with eating sloth bears penises after killing them has been arrested again after absconding for six years.
The Forest Department’s Special Task Force in the Indian state of Madhya Pradesh has nabbed Yarlen, alias Luzalen, after several carcasses of vulnerable sloth bears were found without penises – something which is believed by tribals to be an aphrodisiac.
During interrogation, the poacher admitted having killed a number of endangered tigers, sloth bears, peacocks, and wild bears. Several fake identity cards and voting IDs were also recovered from his possession. The poacher also told officials that he took to the illegal profession at the tender age of 15.
Wouldn’t eating a sloth penis make you kind of sluggish?
Horror Show of the Week
Pensioner waved his penis at neighbours every time they opened their blinds
A pensioner risks a jail sentence after repeatedly masturbating and swinging his penis from side to side at his neighbours.
Bernard Condron, 75, waited until his neighbours opened their blinds in the morning and would then leap in front of his window to flash his genitals.
One woman said it happened to her every day for two months, while another neighbour said he flashed at her from his back garden.
Police were called to speak to Condron, but he ignored warnings and subsequent court orders to carry on flashing for a period of over four years.
In a statement, one of the neighbours said: ‘This is making me unwell and every day when my husband leaves the house, I am worried about what this man is going to do next. I am concerned about my young grandchildren coming to the house. I would be devastated if they were to see this man with no trousers on.’
At Manchester Crown Court, Condron who lives alone in a 1950s semi detached house in Salford, admitted three charges of indecent exposure and breaching a 2015 Sexual Harm Prevention Order which had banned him for five years from being ‘visible to any person whilst naked.’
So don’t open your blinds. Duh.
Nightmare of the Week
Lack of sleep shrinks men’s testicles?
The opener to Matthew Walker’s TED Talk is not exactly what you’d expect to hear in a lecture about sleep.
“Men who sleep five hours a night have significantly smaller testicles than those who sleep seven hours or more,” Walker, a UC Berkeley professor of psychology and neuroscience, told the audience at the popular media organization’s April 15-19 conference in Vancouver, Canada.
Aria Bendix, an innovation reporter for Business Insider who watched more than 100 talks at the conference, was impressed.
“Most of the time, I tune out recommendations to get more sleep, partly because I hear them so often,” she wrote in her review of the conference. “But one short talk by Matt Walker, a sleep scientist, and I’m going to bed early from now on.”
So a female reporter wants to get more sleep so her testicles don’t shrink?
Fear of the Week
Vagina museum gets alcohol licence despite hen and stag party fears
A museum dedicated to vaginas has been granted an alcohol licence despite residents’ concerns it could attract rowdy stag and hen parties.
The Vagina Museum is due to open on 16 November at Camden Market in London, with the aim of increasing knowledge of “gynaecological anatomy and health”. It is the “world’s first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas”, according to its website.
While the museum has been widely supported, its application for an alcohol licence provoked warnings from local residents’ groups.
Patricia Thomas, who wrote to Camden council on behalf of the Harmood Clarence Hartland residents association, said the group was “particularly alarmed” by the idea of hen and stag parties visiting the museum.
She said: “We have no doubt that the museum will try to ensure that no inappropriate parties will be allowed, but stag parties are not known for their respectfulness and hen parties can also be raucous and difficult to control.
“If parties become rowdy, they will be removed by security and then end up on our streets, creating public nuisance.”
Anything that spills out of vagina is bound to be a public nuisance.
Mystery of the Week
Young Stray Kitten Shows Up In Feral Colony Missing One Important Thing–An Anus!
In this case, a young stray kitten was missing one important thing–an anus!
The poor kitten had spent the first weeks of it’s life with a thin membrane completely blocking it’s anus.
And yes, that means that for it’s whole life, the kitten had likely never pooped.
But this sweet little kitten had been born with the undiscovered anal deformity, possibly resulting from inbreeding.
No one can be 100% sure and the veterinarians are baffled that the kitten hadn’t passed away.
I’m sure there’s a purr-fect explanation for everything.
Serial Killer of the Week
Another child worker killed by pumping air into rectum
A 12-year-old boy who worked at a jute mill in Kahalu upazila of Bogura was killed on Friday after his co-corker allegedly pumped air into his rectum at the mill.
Victim Alal Hosen, son of Mozahar Ali, worked at Afrin Jute Mill.
Kahalu police station officer-in-charge Zia Latiful Islam said that Alal’s co-worker Jatan Kumar was arrested in this connection.
Local people and police said that Jatan forcibly inserted a pump nozzle into Alal’s rectum at about 11:00am when Alal was fast asleep.
Police, quoting Jatan, said that he pumped air into Alal just for fun.
On September 29, 2017, tiles factory worker Russell Miah, 19, son of Abdul Hannan of the same upazila, was killed after a co-worker pumped air into his rectum at the factory in the upazila.
On May 9, 2019, in Pabna, day labourer Dulal Hossain, 28, died after his co-worker pumped air into his rectum. Borat Hossain, too, pumped air into Dulal’s rectum for fun, according to police.
On August 31, 2016, air was pumped into the rectum of an 11-year-old boy at Katasur of Mohammadpur in the capital, killing him.
Good golly Bengali, what is going on in here?
Darkness of the Week
SWAT responds in Millcreek after shots fired; police say intoxicated man was shooting at shadows
SWAT responded in Millcreek early Thursday after shots were fired, but rather than an active shooter they found an intoxicated man.
Unified Police said they were called about someone firing off gunshots around 3:15 a.m. at apartments near 3190 South Miller Avenue.
Residents in the nearby apartments sheltered in place, and police thought they may have been dealing with an active shooter at one point so they called for backup from multiple agencies.
Sgt. Melody Gray of the Unified Police Department said they ultimately determined there was not an active shooter.
“What we have found is that he was intoxicated on some type of substance, believed he was shooting at someone or something,” she said. “He fired numerous rounds, and we’re very lucky that no one is injured. We do have that male in custody.”
The man was later identified as 26-year-old Alexander Peace of Millcreek. He was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail and faces “numerous felony charges.”
Some type of substance? He was shooting at the meth ghosts.
Jaws of the Week
A mother from Florida has been accused of punching her 10-year-old son in the face and dislocating his jaw after he refused to stop playing Fortnite and take a shower.
Ann Perugia, 35, allegedly argued with her son when he refused to get washed, before hitting him, South Daytona police say.
Perugia had collected her son from school that day and let him play the popular game online until 7pm with his friends.
But when she checked to see that he had got ready for bed, she found him still playing the game, and he hadn’t showered.
Police say the pair argued, and Perugia lost her temper because of the boy’s ‘attitude’.
The boy alleged to police that when he walked into the bathroom, Perugia punched him in the jaw with a closed fist…
The police report states the child’s jaw was dislocated, and he also had scratches on his body…
Did he eventually take a shower, or what?
Creep Show of the Week
Pervert arrested after having sex with ‘Olaf’ doll from Frozen in supermarket
A perverted bloke was caught having sex with a stuffed Disney toy and large unicorn inside a supermarket.
Cody Meader was arrested around 2pm on Tuesday after being caught having sex with a large snowman Olaf doll from Frozen, inside a branch of Target supermarket in Florida.
Horrified eyewitnesses told local police in St Petersburg they saw Meader, 20, take a large Olaf off a shelf “lay it on the floor” and start to “dry hump” it.
Police say Meader ejaculated on Olaf and put it back on the shelf before wandering into the toy section and picking out “a large unicorn stuffed animal” which is also proceeded to have sex with…
Meader was arrested while in the shop in Pinellas County, and admitted to doing “stupid stuff”.
Police said he had a “history” of this kind of behaviour.
Not quite as easy to erase as his browser history.
Predator of the Week
Woman threatens to rape and murder officers who arrested her after DUI crash
A woman has been booked into the Salt Lake County Jail on suspicion of assaulting a police officer.
According to a probable cause statement, Sarah Jane Doughty threatened to find the officers who arrested her on Facebook and “hunt them down, rape and murder them.”
Dougherty had been drinking at a bar and witnesses tried to stop her from leaving in a car, but she sped off.
She got in a crash a short time later.
When officers arrived, she smelled strongly of alcohol and was having trouble talking and walking.
Dougherty “kicked and spit” at the officers and “threatened to kill all officers present at the scene.”
If it bleeds, we can kill it.
Firestarter of the Week
A Weed man set on fire by a police stun gun is fighting for life as his family looks for answers
A Weed man who was shot with a police stun gun while doused in a flammable liquid is fighting for his life in a Sacramento-area hospital with burns covering 70% of his body.
According to family members, Paul Jason Hall or “PJ” Hall, 47, was “crying out for help,” when he threatened to light himself on fire in his downtown Weed home on Oct. 12.
When Hall — who has a history of mental health issues — wouldn’t drop a lighter he was holding, a Weed police officer used his stun gun on Hall, igniting the liquid and setting him on fire, according to Hall’s nephew.
“As soon as the Taser was deployed, the fire literally hit the ceiling,” said Spencer Hall, nephew of PJ Hall, who used his knowledge as an EMT to treat his uncle while onlookers pooled and emergency responders rushed to the scene.
The officer and PJ Hall were each taken to hospitals immediately following the fire. But Hall isn’t guaranteed to recover, according to family members. The extent of the burns on his skin leaves him especially vulnerable to infection, complications of which are one of the leading causes of death for burn victims.
Per protocol, the Siskiyou County Sheriff’s Office has opened an investigation into the use of force. The Weed Police Department has not yet named the officer who was involved, but a sergeant said he had worked for the agency for about a year.
I thought smoking weed was legal in California.
Freak of the Week
Russian fighter with freakish biceps easily defeated in MMA fight
A Russian bodybuilder known as “Popeye” was destroyed in an MMA fight in three minutes by an opponent 20 years his senior.
Kirill Tereshin, 23, injected his muscles with highly dangerous synthol and developed huge, Popeye-like arms. But his ridiculous 24-inch biceps could not help him defeat blogger and actor Oleg Mongol at a gym in Abakan in Russia.
The former soldier was submitted in an MMA bout in the first round. Tereshin came out swinging and connected with some early punches, but was later clinched to the cage, taken down and tapped out after a choke.
The loss comes after Tereshin was beaten by Russian slapping champion Vasiliy “The Dumpling” Kamotskiy earlier in the year. Kamotskiy flattened Tereshin with his first punch, proving that fighting may not be his calling.
The hair cut is pretty ridiculous too.
Tremors of the Week
An amateur gardener blew up his lawn while trying to get rid of cockroaches infesting his back yard.
When the insects invaded his garden last Friday, Cesar Schmitz decided to try and get rid of them by setting fire to their nest.
The scene was filmed by home security video, which shows the explosion destroying his lawn, sending huge chunks of turf rocketing skywards, a garden table shooting through the air and two pet dogs scampering for their life.
The 48-year-old truck driver, who lives in Enéas Marques, south Brazil, told Focus On News: ‘My wife complained that there was a lot of roaches invading our garden.
‘She is scared of them and begged me to destroy their nest under the ground once and for all.’
At first Mr Schmitz used a poisonous spray for killing beetles, but the product drove the cockroaches out of their burrow.
At that point, the desperate man looked for another solution to get rid of the insects and he decided to light a match to set fire to the hole.
He also threw in a cap full of gasoline for good measure.
Highly flammable methane gas from the insect venom had accumulated in an air pocket under the lawn. The lid full of petrol only added to the combustion.
Now that’s a bug bomb.
WTF? of the Week
Man named Tupac A. Shakur arrested in Tennessee
Officers with the Johnson City Police Department arrested 40-year-old, Tupac A. Shakur of Elizabethton, Tennessee on a variety of charges, including aggravated assault, resisting arrest, simple possession of meth and unlawful drug paraphernalia.
Officers responded to a call on East Unaka Avenue on Friday around 5:40 p.m. in reference to a person with active warrants from the Carter County Sheriff’s Department.
When officers arrived, they said they saw a vehicle leaving with Shakur inside it. The vehicle was later located and contact was made with Shakur.
As he was being arrested, authorities report Shakur pulled away and reached for his waistband. He then turned towards officers with a knife in his hand, according to reports. After a brief struggle with the officers, he was placed in custody.
Shakur also had a syringe and multiple baggies of methamphetamine in his possession, authorities said.
He’s as white as a ghost.
