If you are a masochist who wants to look at Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez every day of the year and read her insipid musings, do I have great news for you. There is an AOC calendar for sale, which thankfully features zero swimsuit or boudoir shots. It’s just 12 months of her donkey teeth and donkey ideas. Presumably there are enough self-hating gluttons for punishment out there to support this positively ridiculous endeavor.
Amazon is selling the My BFF, AOC: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 2020 Wall Calendar for the low, low pice of $14.98, though you can pick ups used one for around $10. Trust me, the irony is not lost here that AOC ran Amazon out of New York and they are now selling her silly calendar.
Let’s see what this fabulous price gets us:
Not only do we look up to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez “AOC”, but we also wish we were best friends with her as well. This yearlong celebration of the powerhouse that is the youngest woman ever to serve in the United States Congress includes 12 images of her everyday fierceness, uplifting quotes and funny remarks inspired by and about our best friend.
If AOC was my best friend, I think I’d end it all.
Featuring quotes on AOC’s views on everything from justice, responsibility, and equality, as well as celebratory commentary about why we love her, this first of its kind wall calendar is a true celebration of the woman, the myth, and the meme that is everyone’s BFF, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Printed on recycled paper, and with proceeds going to a NY-based charitable organization, it furthers the congresswoman’s mission toward making positive change.
Even though it’s printed on recycled paper, it’s still somehow a waste of paper. Only AOC could pull off this feat.
Let’s check out some of these action shots and pearls of wisdom:
In February the caption reads: “My bestie knows the difference between weather and climate.” That’s odd because AOC literally blames every hurricane, flood, and tornado on global warming. In fact she’s blaming the California wildfires on climate change right now:
This is what climate change looks like.
The GOP like to mock scientific warnings about climate change as exaggeration. But just look around: it’s already starting.
We have 10 years to cut carbon emissions in half. If we don’t, scenes like this can get much worse. #GreenNewDeal https://t.co/GNvk7DYFJT
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) October 28, 2019
The quote for February is, “Women like me aren’t supposed to run for office.” Technically she’s right. Stupid people shouldn’t hold elected office or have any sort of power and responsibility.
In May AOC says, “I want to speak to people directly as much as possible” with a picture of her being separated from people by a barricade.
October has to be my favorite from this calendar:
“My BFF doesn’t pussy-foot around,” reads the caption under a picture of AOC literally dressed up like a pussy.
And here’s quite possibly the funniest customer review from someone named “mac girl.”
“I bought this pop-star icon calendar for my 11 year old niece. I never heard of AOC, but thought the niece would love AOC in kitty ears on stage. But when my niece opened the gift she burst into tears and screamed, “AOC IS A FRAUD!” then ran to her room and slammed the door. “SHE’S NOT MY BFF!” the kid wailed from her bedroom. I searched on line for AOC’s music, but to no avail. No idea why this icon-singer worthy of her own calendar elicits so much emotion from an 11 year old? Oh well. On to the P-Cat-Dolls calendar…. this AOC one will go into the “White Elephant Gift” pile at work,” wrote mac girl.
It’s hard to tell if that is a joke or not, but either way it slays.
I actually think the calendar is going to do well. I don’t think it will sell a lot of copies, but the close-outs can be given to the homeless of NY who would have otherwise been employed by Amazon so they can burn them for heat.
