Nancy Pelosi and the democrats made up charges to impeach President Trump on so it stands to reason she would make up a language to explain why she won’t send the articles of impeachment to the Senate for a trial. I don’t know what she calls this bizarre tongue: Pelosian? Senile-ese? Botoxican? Whatever it is, this was the hardest thing I’ve ever tried t transcribe and I’ve done dozens of Al Sharpton and Maxine Waters transcripts.
On Wednesday the House democrats (with no Republicans) voted to impeach President Trump for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. Neither of these things are crimes or impeachable offenses and the democrats failed to even prove their bogus charges. Perhaps because this is so sad, Pelosi has indicated that she may not send these articles of impeachment to the Senate, which is what the Constitution calls for after a House impeachment vote.
This clears it all up. pic.twitter.com/MlsVeEIWj6
— Ryan Petty (@rpetty) December 19, 2019
During her weekly press conference, Pelosi was asked, “what up wif dat?”
“Some Republicans have said, of looking like you’re playing games with impeachment if you hold on to these articles for too long,” said a reporter.
Get ready for it…
“I say what I was wonning to say to Nancy,” started Pelosi.
So this is apparently what she was “wonning” to say to herself.
“We uh we, half I half, when we bring the bill, just so you know there is a bill mating order by he rules committee that we can call up at any uh time,” Pelosi said.
Huh?
“In order to send it over to the Senate and to have it provisions to pay for the provi, the impeachment and the next step. The kuh, the kay,” said Pelosi.
Pelosi looked very confused and then did a little dance move to jog her memory as she looked for the very right word. For some reason she was stuck on something with a K-sound.
“Whatever you want to call it. The keh,” she tried again.
Finally she got it and it wasn’t a k-sound at all.
“The trial,” she said kuh, kay, keh…triumphantly.
At this point Pelosi switched to English, but that didn’t help make any sense of her rambling answer.
“That is where you put the managers. I’ve not prepared to put the managers and that bill yet because we don’t know the arena that we are in,” said Pelosi.
It’s like she was having an HR meeting in her head and then suddenly realized she was at a basketball game at an unfamiliar sports arena. Don’t laugh, it makes sense to her.
Luckily on my last archeological dig in San Francisco I uncovered the Pelosian Rosetta Stone under a pile of human waste and used needles so I can decipher this bizarre statement from the Speaker of the House.
Pelosi was asked if it looks like she’s playing games by not sending the voted-on articles of impeachment to the Senate for a trail.
Her answer is that she has passed a secret bill to pay for the impeachment and Senate trail but can’t find anyone to manage it because it might be an away game.
Pelosi finished off her bilingual answer like this:
“Frankly I don’t care what the Republicans say,” said Pelosi.
She’s not kidding. If she doesn’t care what she says, she sure as hell doesn’t care what the Republicans say.
Pelosi then told reporters they weren’t allowed to ask her about impeachment, the day after she became only the 3rd House Speaker in U.S. history to impeach a president.
